Chapter 8
Theo
It was Monday afternoon, and it was weird to be dreading one interaction with a Hawthorne and anticipating one with the other. I was meeting Quentin in ten minutes to talk about our mentorship and then I’d see Audrey tomorrow at our first all-day clinical.
Had I thought about her a thousand times since the library? Yup. Probably even more. The way she embraced the hug like no one had hugged her in years or how she blushed hard any time I was decent to her. Or the fact we’d both experienced something many didn’t: being the oldest sibling and the role you had if tragedy hit your family. Maybe it was the fact we had that in common that had me interested in her. Not in that way because yeah, that wouldn’t work. Even though her pillow lips and long eyelashes were my weakness.
I cleared my throat and leaned back on the bleachers, forcing thoughts of her away. Meeting with her brother while thinking about how hot she was would be a terrible choice on my part. And I could still control my mind enough to make it obey.
The door to the rink slammed open, and Quentin walked in, causing a damn scene. He wore a boot on his left leg and a scowl mad enough to start a war. The kid was all energy, reckless aggression, and anger. He channeled it to the wrong things, yet he refused to listen to anyone. It made me question why Reiner put him on the team, but from the research I did, Reiner enjoyed pet projects. He liked taking guys who were a little rough but super fucking talented and reforming them to be the best versions of themselves. I admired it about him but didn’t love the fact I was part of the plan.
“Thanks for meeting here,” I said, drawing his attention. He rolled his eyes like the child he was and plopped down ten seats from me. “Oh, cool, let me just pick up and move to you. It’s your world, right?”
“It’s the least you can do since you ruined my fucking career, you piece of shit.”
Nice. He was spicy today. I grabbed my coffee and patience, took a huge swig of both, and neared him. He looked like shit, actually. Dark circles under his eyes, messy hair. My first thought was irrational: why the fuck was he worn-out when he wasn’t working himself to the bone like his sister? He had no reason to be tired.
“Look, you can be pissed all you want. Won’t change a thing. You can tell whatever lies you want to everyone else, Quentin, but we both know you deserved my hit last year. You play dirty and think rules don’t apply to you, and you got your ass handed to you by a more skilled player. That sucks, but?—”
“That’s not true!” he yelled, his eyes bulging out of his head. “You’re not better than me.”
“That’s your takeaway here? Dude. I’ve already signed with a team. I’m going pro after this year. What offers do you have? Zero. And want to know why? Because you’re a bad teammate on the ice.” I stared at the ceiling, not loving my approach so far. I just didn’t have enough energy to be gentle with him. I already knew I’d spend the night regretting this whole interaction, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“How am I a bad teammate? How did I start freshmen year if I was so terrible then, huh? Just because you have an offer doesn’t mean shit. You probably bribed your way in.”
“Do you hear yourself?” I laughed and stood up. “I respect Reiner, so I agreed to mentor you and be named captain.”
Quentin paled at that. Good. He didn’t know that news. I liked surprising him.
“But you need to pull your head out of your ass. You’re entitled, and I don’t understand why. You’re not the fastest or the biggest or the toughest on this team. If you think you are, you’ll never play anywhere but this rink again. You have all the right skills, but you’re not mature enough to grow.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are saying that to me when you took me out for a season? Do you know how hard I worked to get here? How much I needed this place to escape the hell at home?”
“We all have our own versions of hell, Quentin, and the day you realize it’s not a competition of who had it tougher will be the day you make real friends.” I shook my head. “I know you think you’re gonna get revenge on me somehow, but injuring me won’t help you in the slightest. You should be focusing on improving your game and grades. Do you have a backup plan if hockey doesn’t pan out?”
“I don’t need a backup plan.”
“There’s another error on your part. Injuries happen all the time in this sport. I could be taken out game one, and I still have a life waiting for me.”
“Yeah, being a nurse is a real life.” He rolled his eyes, like the jab was meant for me.
“Speak like that again about your fucking sister, and I’ll break your other ankle.” My voice came out quiet, somehow the threat more than a yell. Quentin paled and held up his hands.
“This has nothing to do with Audrey! I’d never?—”
“You made fun of nurses, who are the backbone of our health care system. Your sister is the best in the cohort, so when you talk shit about them, you talk shit about her.”
He blinked, his dumb mouth parting as his brows furrowed, but I kept going. “I’d think with what happened to your dad, you’d have more respect for nurses. Unless your insult was just about a male being a nurse because if so, we’re done. And you might imagine the team will have your back, but my stats speak for themselves. I’m a good teammate, and after one game with me, they’ll all turn on you. Now, if Reiner asks, our first mentoring session is over.”
Ooo boy.
My hands shook from adrenaline, and I needed to go for a jog to get rid of the weirdness from that chat. Fuck. That was not how I envisioned being a mentor to a punk ass kid, but he was so ungrateful and full of himself. How was Audrey so kind and selfless and Quentin the opposite? I rubbed my temples, regret clogging my throat as I thought about the fallout. Reiner would be pissed. Audrey would be upset. Even though I was looking forward to seeing her tomorrow, I’d just have to prepare myself for Audrey to be cold to me again. After seeing her smiles and jokes, I really didn’t want to go back to indifference.
Audrey stoodoutside the hospital holding two cups of coffee. Her hair was pulled back, out of her face, and her light blue scrubs were tucked in. She looked like a real nurse, and she seemed happy. Her version of happy though. Her eyes were wide, and her gaze kept darting as workers walked in. Fifteen minutes before seven meant a lot of shift changes.
“Theo, hi,” she said, her lips curving up on the sides. “I brought you coffee. Uh, I didn’t know what type.”
Shit. Was she blushing? She clearly had no idea what happened with her brother, but I really liked how she stared at me. “Coffee for me? Auds. Get outta here. You must’ve poisoned it.”
“What? No.” She blinked.
“I’m teasing.” I winked, and our fingers slid together as she handed me the to-go cup. “Figured you were so jealous of how I looked in scrubs, you wanted to take out the competition.”
She scoffed, but her gaze softened. “I wouldn’t be that obvious, Sanders.”
A warm, pleasant sensation formed in my belly when she looked at me like that and had that snarky tone. Audrey had snark to her, and I appreciated it. We walked toward the door when it hit me. “You were waiting for me?”
She stared at the floor and shrugged one shoulder. “Yeah. Figured if we’re partners it would be nice to walk in together.”
“So sweet.” I nudged my hip against hers. “Never let anyone tell you that you’re not the sweetest, kindest?—”
“Enough.” She snorted. “I already regret it.”
A bubble of anticipation flowed through me as we neared the head nursing station to check in. I wished I could text my mom for encouragement or hear her joke around about all the shit I’d see. Literally. Despite having my whole hockey career set out for me, the thought of making a difference like this mattered so much to me.
“We got this, Sanders.” Her tone turned serious.
“Yeah, we do.” I sipped the coffee as our eyes met, and her nerves were clearer now. Was I nervous? Hell yeah. But I had pre-game jitters for a decade and knew to embrace the chaos, welcome the flutters. Audrey might not have that to fall back on, and I set the cup down with the intent to grab her hand but stopped myself. She might hate that even though I wanted to feel her skin.
“Use the nerves to your advantage. Those flutters in your gut? That means your body is paying attention. Your senses are heightened. You see things differently. It means we’re alive.”
She sucked in a breath, her eyes widening as she stared at me, and I said to hell with it. I squeezed her hand, her soft skin like a flicker of flames. “You’re the best in our class and ask all the right questions. Do that here.”
She blinked. “Thank you, Theo. I-I needed that.”
I smiled and released her hand, but her fingers hung in the air almost like she didn’t want to let go of me. I also didn’t want to, but that was a problem for later in the day.
“Good morning.” Marcy arrived, her face firm yet welcome. “Finish those drinks, and we’ll make our rounds. I’ll have you both shadow me for the first half of the day, then you’ll split off and start taking vitals and updating charts with the patients’ permission. Ask any question that enters your mind. Now, are you ready?”
“Yes, ma’am.” I nodded.
“It’s Marcy. Not ma’am.”
Audrey released a tiny sound, almost like a laugh, but I didn’t dare look at her. I liked the fact we had our own inside jokes. It meant Quentin had kept his mouth shut, and for once, I was grateful for his choice.
“With the shift change, we’re going to check in on our post-operative patients, ones who’ve undergone major surgeries, and check for complications. What are the main complications we’ll be looking for?”
“Bleeding, infection, organ failure,” Audrey answered.
“Correct.”
“Okay, let’s go.” She walked down the hall and approached a shut door. “Patient one is a thirty-five-year-old woman who was brought in from a car crash two days ago. Major surgeries on her stomach, legs, and arms. Multiple wounds to redress and check on.” Then Marcy knocked, and we followed her into the room.
“Hi, Bea, I have two nursing students with me observing this morning. Are you alright if they’re in the room when we check the surgery site and your vitals?” Marcy’s tone shifted from her all-business one to kind, calm, and reassuring.
Bea nodded and offered a sad smile. “Sure. Welcome.”
Audrey smiled. “Thank you for letting us be in here, truly. I know it can be uncomfortable.”
“Not after you have children.” Bea laughed, and Audrey joined her.
It was beautiful and strange to see Audrey’s bedside manner shift so much from her day-to-day personality. Despite her nerves earlier, she seemed at ease. Kind of like me on the ice.
I should’ve been watching Marcy check vitals—even though we’d known how to do that since freshmen year—but instead, I admired Audrey and how she seemed to mouth the procedure.
Marcy updated the charts, checked in on pain management, and brought out a breathing machine that helped patients get oxygen into their lungs to prevent any infection there. Audrey bounced up and down.
She did that again in the next room—an older gentleman’s appendix had burst and was on the verge of sepsis. Audrey also did it on the third and fourth visits. I wasn’t sure why it was so wonderful to see her like this. Maybe it was knowing she worked so hard for so long, that she never had fun.
We had a fifteen-minute break to grab a snack around midmorning, and we stepped outside in a small courtyard.
“This is –”
“You light up in there, Auds.” I interrupted her, not meaning to. “You come alive in the patient rooms, and it’s beautiful.”
I rocked back on my heels, my ears heating at the compliment, but it didn’t make it less true. I needed her to know that.
“Uh, thank you.” A blush spread from her face and down her neck. “No one… not that you’re calling me that, but wow, I’ve never been told anything close. You didn’t say I was… but?—”
“You are beautiful.” I chuckled, honestly kinda charmed by her rambling. She was an ice queen, always holding it together, and I was lucky enough to see her unravel. It made me want to pull at more threads and learn more about Audrey’s unraveling. “However, you come to life when interacting with the patients. It reminds me of me on the ice, actually. It’s like you were meant to do this. Patients will see that, Auds.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“You brought me coffee, girl.”
“I didn’t want to be friends with you, but unfortunately, we might be?” she said the sentence with a question at the end, her face vulnerable like she’d said the wrong thing. She was adorable. Damn. It was a shame so many people didn’t see this side of her because it was cute as fuck.
“Seems to be so, bestie.”
She laughed. It was fleeting, but the sound was pleasant and caused that same warm sensation in my stomach. Audrey’s laugh felt like scoring a goal. Took a lot of work and the timing had to be right, but fuck it felt good.
“Thank you.” She swallowed and held my gaze. “It’s been a while since I had a friend, and I know we’re oddly connected, but it means a lot that you’d be friends with me. I’m not that fun, or?—”
“If you’re going to insult yourself, I’m gonna have to interrupt you and demand you stop.” I shook my head. “Friends aren’t defined by fun. It’s more than that, and you know it.”
She pressed her lips together and a small, slow smile replaced it. “I get a sense of how you are when you play. A little fiery, quick to react. Calculating. No wonder you’re drafted.”
“Okay, too much.” I held up my hands. “Too fast. Too many compliments. Quick, insult me.”
Another snort. Fuck yeah. That was two and half today.
“We should head back.” Audrey pushed through the doors and glanced at me over her shoulder. “Come on, buddy.”
Mm, didn’t like hearing buddy coming from those lips.
Marcy approached with a half-smile before saying, “Next will be our patients who’ve suffered an acute stroke. We need to…”
Her voice trailed off as my body tensed from head to toe. Sweat pooled on my forehead as I struggled to breathe. Stroke patients.
I… wasn’t sure I could handle it.