Chapter 9
Ithought I would feel different. I don’t know why. I just did. But I don’t…
Well, I do. In a way. I feel like I’ve finally gotten something I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember. I also have this insatiable hunger for more.
I’m aware the chances of that happening are slim to none. Antonio doesn’t do girlfriends—not that I’ve ever seen—and I’m under no illusion that he’s going to start now just because I gave him my V-card. Let’s be honest, that thing was well past its expiration date anyway.
A smile forms on my lips when I recall just how sweet he was. How tender. Not at all what I was expecting from a man with eyes as black as night. He told me I deserved to be worshiped, and I was. He didn’t fuck me. Antonio made love to my body. And honestly, I’m glad I waited for him, because it was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better first-time experience.
Then again, I guess the morning after could have been better. I woke up early, looked at Antonio’s sleeping form, and freaked out a little. I didn’t want to deal with the awkwardness. I mean, what was I supposed to say?
Thanks for breaking through my barrier. See you around sometime?
I also didn’t want to face him when he told me that last night was a one-and-done kind of deal. I get that it was. But knowing it and hearing it are two different things. I can live the reality. Probably. If I don’t have to face him. If I avoid going back to that club and stay far away from anywhere that I know he’s likely to be.
I’ll always have that one night, and that’ll just have to be enough.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself as I make my way to my last class of the day. Sitting down at the back of the lecture hall, I pull out my laptop and fire it up. I’m early, but that’s not unusual for me. I like to be prepared.
Ten minutes later, Rosa drops onto the seat next to mine. “You’ve been MIA all weekend. And you still haven’t told us what you got up to with that mob boss of yours,” she whispers.
“First of all, he’s not a mob boss—that’s hearsay.” I roll my eyes. I might know the truth, but I’m not stupid enough to confirm the rumors to anyone else, not even my best friends. “And, secondly, he’s certainly not mine.”
Rosa’s eyes trail up and down my body. “You had sex!” she squeals, and my hand shoots out to cover her mouth.
“Shh, oh my god!” I look around the lecture hall, but no one appears to be paying us any mind. “Wait. How can you tell?” I ask, feeling very self-conscious all of a sudden.
Can everyone tell? Is there like a big neon sign written on my forehead? Matilda V lost her V?
Rosa peels my hand away from her mouth. “I couldn’t tell, not for sure. But you just admitted it. So… how was it?” she asks with a grin.
I smile. “Better than I ever thought it could be.” My thoughts drift to images of Antonio’s naked body on top of mine.
“Shit, really? Your first? Did you come?”
“Three times,” I tell her. I’m counting the orgasm he gave me in his office, because, well, it counts.
“Man, does he have a brother? I need to get me one of these mobsters. Wait! Is your cousin still single?” She lifts her eyebrows up and down suggestively.
“Which one?” I shake my head, thinking better of it. “Actually, no, they’re not. Doesn’t matter which one, and my cousins are not mobsters, Rosa.” I laugh.
“Mhmm, okay. Well, when are we seeing Antonio again?” she hums.
“We?”
“Uh-huh, I’m living vicariously through you, Little Miss Three-Orgasms-In-One-Night.” Rosa sighs wistfully.
“I’m not seeing him again. Friday was a onetime thing.” I shrug like it’s no big deal. Like I haven’t thought about it all weekend. Like I haven’t wanted him for as long as I can remember. Like having a taste isn’t worse than not having one. Because now I know what I’m missing out on.
“He said that? Asshole. I don’t care how scary he is, I’ll castrate him,” she seethes.
“He didn’t say that. He didn’t say anything. And he didn’t have to. I… uh…. I left before he woke up,” I admit while forcing my attention to the front of the class as the professor walks in.
“You left? Why?” Rosa hisses.
“Because I didn’t want to have the awkward morning after talk. It was easier if I just left.”
“And he hasn’t tried to reach out to you?” she asks.
I shake my head. Why would he try to reach out? We didn’t make any promises, didn’t exchange any confessions of undying love. It was sex. Grown-up people have sex. One-night stands are the norm these days. It’s not a big deal.
I try to focus on the lecture. I really do, but my mind keeps getting invaded by images of Antonio every five minutes. Okay, every three minutes. The man is damn fine in a suit. But naked? I didn’t think it was possible for any human to look that good.
“I gotta run. I have a shift at the diner, but call me later. I want all the sordid deets,” Rosa singsongs before picking up her bag and running out the door.
Like I said, it’s my last class of the day so I don’t rush to follow her. I shove my laptop into my bag, grab my phone from the side pocket, and scroll through my messages as I walk out of the building. That is until I hit some sort of wall and my phone drops to the ground.
“Ow… f?—”
A pair of hands grabs hold of my hips as I stumble backwards. Then I peer up. And freeze.
Oh shoot. He’s here. Why the heck is he here?
I glance to my left and then to my right. Students are milling about, chatting in small groups, and rushing off towards their next lecture halls but no one is looking at us.
“Uh…”
Antonio chuckles. His hands drop from my waist, and he bends down to swipe up my phone before holding it out to me. “That’s all you have to say to me, Matilda?” he asks while lifting a challenging brow.
“What are you doing here?” I collect my phone and shove it back into my bag. I don’t bother to check if the screen is cracked. Right now, I don’t care.
“Looking for you.” Antonio smirks, and I swear my knees weaken. “Ya see, I was waiting for you to do the right thing. Thinking to myself… any minute now, she’s going to call. Because the Matilda Valentino I know and love has way too good of manners to just run out without so much as a goodbye.”
The Matilda he knows and loves?That can go into the unpack never basket.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble as I try to wrap my head around what’s going on right now.
“You don’t look very sorry, Matilda. Why’d you leave?”
I glance up and watch as Antonio folds his arms over his broad chest, his shirt pulling tight with the action.
“I thought we agreed no regrets.”
I shake my head. “You’re right. We did. And I don’t have any regrets,” I tell him. “I just… I was trying to make it easy. For both of us. We know that Friday night was just that. A night, one night, Antonio. So why go through the awkward morning after if we don’t have to?”
In a matter of seconds, the softness of his expression disappears. Antonio’s jaw clenches and his eyes gloss over, becoming darker than I ever remember them being before. Then his fingers wrap around my wrist and he tugs me forward, dragging me back into the building. He opens the first door he sees and then shuts it, moving up the hall and repeating the process.
“What are you doing?” I ask, struggling to keep up with him as he continues to drag me along behind him.
He opens the fourth door along the wall, glances at the room, and pulls me inside. He slams it shut and then he’s pushing my back against the closest wall. His body presses into mine. My eyes widen when I feel the hardness of his cock digging into me.
“Does this feel like it was just a one-night thing, Matilda?” Antonio hisses.
“I… uh…” I shake my head. I can’t seem to find any intelligible words.
“No?”
“No,” I repeat.
“What gave you the impression that I wouldn’t want you in my bed when I woke up?” he asks as he tilts his head to eye me like a curiosity.
“Nothing. I don’t know. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m kinda new at this, Antonio. I don’t know what the expectations are. I don’t know the rules,” I attempt to explain.
I need to know. I’m a rule follower. Always have been. If I know what I’m supposed to do, I can do it. It’s simple as that.