Twelve
Megan Bryce To Catch A Spinster
O livia woke next to a warm body, a heavy leg trapping her.
She shoved against it, whispering, “Nathaniel, I can’t feel my leg.”
He grunted and slid his leg off.
She cuddled beside him, his arm snaking around her.
“Good morning, Olivia.”
“Good morning. It’s quite nice waking up with you, even if you did crush my leg. You’re very warm.”
He grinned. “Just think, Olivia, that could be yours every morning if we married.”
“Harrumph. Why do you have to ruin a perfectly good morning.”
“It’s my nature. Would you like breakfast?”
“What about the servants?”
“I’ll have them make up a tray.” He winked. “That, too, could be yours every morning.”
Olivia sniffed. “As if I was so lazy. And I believe my waking up in a man’s bed is proof positive that I would not make a good wife.”
“As long as it was my bed you woke up in, I believe you would make a very good wife.” He began ticking off his fingers. “Because you are entertaining. You are intelligent. You are passionate. You have irresistible taste in dresses. And you make this mewling sound in the back of your throat when you come. I really can find nothing wrong with the idea of marriage.”
“I have thought of a new rule, Nathaniel.”
He murmured, “Only one?”
“No more mentions of marriage. It quite puts me off. And stop sending your family to change my mind. I have had enough lectures. I’m surprised you haven’t sent for the magistrates. Tie this girl up, she refuses to marry me. ”
“I could quite easily force your hand, Olivia. You are in my bed, we have had intimate relations. Your father has the right to force me to marry you at sword-point.”
“Well, he wouldn’t force me at sword-point and I would advise you not to try either.”
Nathaniel flung the covers off and rose. He said, “If you do not wish to be forced into marriage, I would advise that you dress quickly. I’ll need to deposit you somewhere less questionable.”
“You can take me back home. I’ll tell them I woke early.”
“Lies come unnervingly quick to you, Olivia. Won’t your mother ask your sister?”
“No. I go over often enough, she doesn’t question it.”
He shook his head and muttered, “Too much freedom, entirely.”
The cold ring of steel silenced the crickets mid-song. Nathaniel pushed Olivia behind him, cursing himself for escorting her this early in the morning.
Olivia gasped. “Rufus! What are you doing?”
He answered coldly. “I could ask the same of you, Olivia. And of you, Jenkins.”
She muttered, “Oh, bother,” under her breath and attempted to push Nathaniel aside.
“He has a drawn sabre, Olivia. Please stay behind me.”
Her very angry brother-in-law gazed in fury at Nathaniel, and truth be told, he couldn’t fault the look. He deserved everything he got from the wicked looking sword. But he’d be damned if he got it in front of Olivia.
Nathaniel said, “Mr. Eliot–”
“Unless you are going to tell me the announcement has already been sent to the papers, I don’t want to hear it, Jenkins.”
Olivia shouted, “Rufus!”
“Olivia, he is escorting you home in the early morning. And you told your mother you would be staying with us last night.”
She gasped again. “You didn’t tell her...”
“...No.”
“Oh, thank you. I’m sorry, it was a dreadful thing to do, but–”
“It was a stupid thing to do. You are not only risking your reputation but your entire family’s as well.”
Olivia said, “Yes, well, luckily I’m the only one unmarried.”
Nathaniel interrupted. “And luckily, I have already asked for Miss Blakesley’s hand.”
The sharp end of the sword gently fell to earth. “Good. But this is still a stupid idea, Jenkins.”
Olivia tugged at his coat. “Uh, Nathaniel–”
“She however has refused me.”
She uttered a very unladylike word as Rufus speared her with his iron-gaze.
“How extraordinary.”
“Rufus–”
“If you have no feelings for him, Olivia, why are you sneaking around with him?”
Nathaniel turned to face her, secure in the knowledge that he would not be stabbed in the back by her angry relative. Mr. Eliot’s anger was directed where it should rightfully be.
“Yes, Olivia. That question has been bothering me as well.”
Her eyes narrowed, her chin rose, and she tapped her foot. “As I have explained, at length, I do not wish to marry.”
Rufus Eliot guffawed. “It seems to me that you wish very much to marry.”
Olivia blushed. “You know nothing of it, Rufus. And you, Mr. Jenkins, know what this is and why I won’t marry you. Rufus, please escort me home. It would be a disaster if anyone else saw us together.”
“It’ll give me a chance to tan your backside.”
“I dare you to try.”
Nathaniel rubbed his forehead. “I’ll leave you to it, Eliot. And you, Olivia, I shall see later.”
He spun on his heel, frustration flashing in his eyes.
Olivia sighed, cursing herself for her brainless ideas. Cursing the world in general, and men in particular, for making mountains out of mole hills.
Rufus sheathed his sabre, his jaw tight.
“Please don’t tell Mary, Rufie.”
“Why not? You don’t seem to care who knows.”
“I care! I was just stupid.”
“Olivia, you are walking a tightrope. Jenkins has every right to force you into marriage; he is being too soft-headed. One word to your father would end this.”
“Rufus Eliot, you know nothing of the matter. And not you, nor Father, nor Mr. Jenkins, will make me do what I don’t want to. So tell the whole world if you want.”
Olivia stomped off. She could hear Rufus muttering and following behind her. This plan was going downhill and she wondered if she’d ever been in control of this experiment. Men were a lot harder to understand than the stars.
Mary’s strident tones echoed through the house. “Hello, Mother. Where’s Olivia?”
Olivia cursed Rufus and then herself. He couldn’t keep his big mouth shut and she had been the fool to try and sneak about.
Mary peeked her head around the door and Olivia glared at her. “I am going to kill your toad of a husband.”
“Mmm. I believe you have some explaining to do.”
“He could have kept his big mouth shut.”
“And you could have stayed at home. Now tell me, was it your idea to sneak off with Mr. Jenkins? Or did he pressure you in some way.”
Olivia sighed. “It was my stupid idea. I wanted to see him and I wanted to know if I could sneak away undetected. Obviously I forgot to plan for sneaking back.”
“Obviously.” Mary sat beside her and stared. “So?”
“So what?”
Mary wiggled her eyebrows. “So how was your first night alone with a man?”
“Mary!”
“Olivia!”
Olivia wiped her brush on the cloth. “It was enjoyable.”
“Enjoyable. This was your first night together, wasn’t it?”
Olivia refused to look at her. How could she tell Mary that it wasn’t?
Mary laughed. “You little sneak. Don’t tell me you’ve snuck off with him before.”
Oh, to confide in someone. Mary didn’t seem upset with her and it would be nice to share her secrets. She and Mary had always been close.
Olivia glanced at her. “He came here. After dark.”
“Ah. So it’s not only the stars you’ve been studying. How is your Mr. Jenkins, then?”
“Mary! Now you want details? You wouldn’t give me any after you married Rufus. Technically, this is all your fault. If you had told me anything, anything at all, I wouldn’t have needed to conduct such an experiment. I would have taken your word on the subject.”
Mary said, “And stowed it away, problem solved. I know you, Olivia. You have never worried about pleasing Mama and finding a husband, and you’re too independent to think you need one. What does that leave? You would die a spinster, living your whole life under Papa’s roof, having the run of everything, exactly as you please.”
“I’m sorry, is something wrong with that scenario? It seems quite pleasant to me.”
“Thankfully, I know better. That is boring, Livvy. Yes, yes, you would have your studies, but no family. No interruptions, no surprises. Having a plan is all well and good, but distractions are sometimes better.”
Olivia raised her eyebrows. “I find this hard to believe coming from someone who has known who she would marry since she was five years old.”
“That wasn’t a plan, Livvy, that just was. I can’t help it if I found my mate so young.”
“So you want me to have distractions. That’s why you wouldn’t tell me about your wedding night.” Olivia narrowed her eyes. “It was your wedding night, wasn’t it?”
Mary gave her a small smile. “Of course it was my wedding night, as we were married that day. But was that the first time we were intimate? That was the night before we became engaged. Rufus was so distraught about the whole thing he ran to Father the next day.”
“I can’t believe you never told me!”
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you getting any ideas. That was clearly short-sighted of me; you don’t need my help in thinking up crazy ideas.”
Olivia balled her fist and pounded her leg. “And I can’t believe your toady husband was so self-righteously smug!”
“Olivia, you have a strange concept of the world. Rufus, although of course he loved me, had ruined me, therefore he had to marry me. Mr. Jenkins has ruined you, therefore he has to marry you.”
“Our situations are vastly different, Mary. You were but eighteen and I am twenty-seven. If you and Rufus and Nathaniel will simply be quiet about it, no one need know that I am ruined. It’s not as if I was marriageable material before, anyway.”
Mary fingered the paint pots. “Do you not like Mr. Jenkins?”
“Well, of course I like him. I would not have done such a thing if I didn’t.”
Mary eyed her. “Sometimes I think it doesn’t matter if you like the idea or not, as long as you find a solution to your problem.”
Olivia glared at her. “That is a terrible thing to say. I am not immoral.”
“I believe the vicar would argue that.”
“I believe the vicar would argue that you are immoral. Simply because you married afterward does not change the fact.”
Mary shrugged. “The vicar would likely argue that the king is immoral.”
“The king is immoral.”
“So he is. But that doesn’t change the fact that you are a ruined woman. You must marry Mr. Jenkins. Soon, Olivia. There are consequences to your actions that will not wait for you to change your mind.”
Olivia stared out the window. “There is nothing to worry on that regard, Mary. There are no unexpected consequences.”
“Do you not wish to have children?”
Olivia glanced at her. A touchy subject, she knew. “I am an aunt many times over. That’s enough for me.”
Mary snorted. “You can lie to yourself, Livvy, but I at least know there is a vast difference between being an aunt and a mother.”
“I know, but it doesn’t call to me. I don’t lie awake picturing my child.”
Mary rubbed her belly lightly, then nodded. “I understand. It won’t be the end of the world if you don’t have one.”
“No matter what Mama thinks. How many grandchildren does one woman need?”
“I think she wants granddaughters.”
Olivia conceded the point. The newest generation was overrun with boys.
Mary said, “What of Mr. Jenkins?”
“What of him?”
“Where does he stand in all this? I thought you liked him. I thought he liked you.”
“I do like him, and I believe he does like me. But that was never part of our agreement. He agreed to certain rules.”
Olivia sighed. She should end it now. She should write him a quick note telling him his services were no longer needed. She didn’t know if she could do it, though. How could she give up the best times of her life? Why should she have to?
Damn men and their rules. Damn marriage. She could be quite happy as a kept woman. As long as she was Nathaniel’s kept woman. What need had she of society? She could endure the jeers of the ton , the insults. Oh, if only she was an only child, with no family to suffer for her actions.
Mary looked intrigued at the idea of an agreement but merely said, “Agreements change, Olivia. You like him, he likes you. Why are we having this conversation? We should be celebrating your engagement.”
“It is marriage I do not care for.”
“What have you against marriage?”
“Have you met our parents? They’re miserable.”
Mary studied her. “I don’t think they’re miserable.”
“They have nothing in common, rarely talk to each other, and remember the fights they used to have? I’m surprised any of us married.”
“I don’t remember them fighting. And they have six children in common. I think that’s something.”
Olivia sighed. “You’ve been in love with Rufus since before you could walk. You were oblivious to our parents strife.”
“And you are too sensitive. You notice every little detail, but miss the big picture. They’re happy together now, don’t you agree?”
Olivia shrugged. “They seem resigned.”
Mary narrowed her eyes. “What of Rufus and me? Do you think that we fight all the time and have nothing to talk about and nothing in common?”
“No.”
“But?”
Olivia pinched her lips. “But I don’t think it will last. I don’t want to be mean, but I’ve never seen any marriage stay happy. For instance, Prudence. She’s so miserable, I can hardly stand to be around her.”
“Prudence is pregnant with her fifth child in six years and you know how swollen she gets at the end. I don’t think that’s a fair example. Besides, just the fact that this is the fifth baby means that she and Marcus have something in common.”
“A bed.”
Mary laughed. “Yes, a bed. And don’t knock it. Prue could keep him out if she wanted. Just as Mama could have kept Papa out and they had six.”
Olivia shook her head. “I know she has what she wants, as does Mama, and so do you. It’s just... It’s just that I don’t want it. I don’t want to be stuck with someone that I hate, eating meals in silence, or relying on my children for love. I don’t want that, Mary.”
“And you think that will happen with Mr. Jenkins?”
“It’s inevitable. One day he will look at me with loathing instead of passion. One day he will think himself a fool for letting his emotions push him into marrying so unsuitably. I need only look at Papa to see how it will happen.” She shook her head and whispered, “I could not bear it if I saw Nathaniel look at me like that.”
Mary took her hand gently. “I never realized how pessimistic you are.”
“I’m realistic. I refuse to be blinded by love.”
“No, you’re blinded by fear.”
Olivia was silent.
Mary patted her arm. “You are not Mama, Mr. Jenkins is not Papa. If anyone can have a marriage worthy of love, it is you, Livvy. You can make anything work. The only question is, do you want to make it work with Mr. Jenkins?”