To Live Among Wolves (Legends of Arcadia Book 1)

Chapter 5

I tried to work out the tension behind my eyes, but nothing stopped the throbbing that lived there whenever Nash stood in my presence.

Especially now.

Now, of all times when I’m dealing with a potential threat to the kingdom.

“Does someone want to explain what’s going on here?” Nash threw his hand in the air at me, looking at Caroline. “Why is he wearing Father’s crown?”

“Why don’t we sit down?” Caroline stepped towards our brother.

“Where is he?” Nash’s shoulders tensed.

“Nash–” Caroline said.

I can’t handle gentleness.

Not now.

Not after what we went through without him.

“He’s dead,” I snapped.

Caroline froze, clenching her hands into fists.

“Dead?” Nash furrowed his brow. “How did he… How did–”

“Out searching for you.” I stood from my throne and stepped closer to him. “He died, trying to see if you’d been caught in the city.”

A wounded expression passed over his eyes, his resolve faltering. “No, I told him… Why would he–”

“Because at that point, you hadn’t bothered coming back in a month, Nash!” I shouted in his face. “We were planning the Joulo feast, and the waterfall had frozen, and you hadn’t bothered to return.”

“I planned to come back. I was in the Washita mountains.” He seemed fragile, like this might break him. He’d always been the tougher one, but the roles reversed.

I was the Alpha.

He was the Omega.

“And now, you’ve been gone for a year. You decided to show up unannounced and without remorse. You are reckless and irresponsible. And it’s your fault our father is dead.”

“Silas,” Caroline gasped.

Nash shook his head, eyes dazed.

“Enough, Caroline,” I snapped. “Stop treating him like a pup. He chose his place in this pack. You’re both dismissed.”

I pushed through them, leaving Guardian’s Glade and heading Lycaon knows where. I needed out.

I found myself walking on the route through the residential court. I smiled at my people as I passed, headed to Eden’s room.

I hadn’t recognized her at first when she’d slipped and rolled down that hill. Only after flipping through her journal did I find her name, and that’s when faded and foggy memories from my childhood drifted back into focus.

Father.

The riverbank.

Virlukoslessons.

Arcadia existed as a place for legends, creatures to save the day when humans failed. When people became lost or cold or starving, we rescued them. Only the trained Guardians ventured into the towns to resupply rarer items that we couldn’t salvage in the forest. Most of our job occurred in the mountains, where idiot humans became lost.

And it was safer to be a wolf in the forest.

But I hadn’t thought of Eden since that day. She was a human—a lesson—in my young mind. Though she must’ve remembered that encounter to adulthood. She had done extensive research on wolves. Other things, too. But there were pages upon pages of facts and drawings of wolves, tracks, food, dens, pups, and even legends.

In a way, it fascinated me. This human met my father once and never forgot. How many times had I seen that humans could be reckless and ruthless? And yet, she’d been drawing portraits of my father along with little floral patterns and fairytales.

Danger would follow her for knowing so much. And I needed to know how much the other humans knew. If they knew and believed the virlukos existed, it was only a matter of time before they hunted us down or trapped us to discover our secrets.

I had to protect my pack above all. Arcadia meant more than following rules to save a human. Even if it meant breaking one of my father’s rules for the sake of my people. Eliminating one problem all for the greater good.

Even if she reminds me of my father?

The memories of him rushed back like they never left. So many happy memories with my father, so many things he taught me. Though now, they were almost unwelcome, making me second-guess my decisions as king.

Had it only been less than a year since his passing? My father was forty when he died, young for a shapeshifting king.

The truth of the matter, my short time as king had been tumultuous. I hadn’t been trained. I had never assisted with most duties of the king. I had mixed emotions about taking his place back then. Unworthy, untrained, and grappling with grief at the loss of my hero, and not much changed in a year.

My reminiscing thoughts stilled when I found myself lingering in front of Eden’s door. It wasn’t that she was special to me, only that she brought back so many of those memories. Memories I cherished.

But she didn’t know that. She didn’t know that she meant something to me, no matter how small that something was. And a part of me hated her for hanging onto my father’s memory. Why would a nettle-brained human remember his legacy?

Another part of me hated myself for bringing her here. If I had left her there, I could’ve taken her journal and waited until she regained consciousness. It would have minimized the threat of exposure while also saving a human like we had been designed to do. And I wouldn’t be so… frustrated.

Pulling the keys from a hook on the door frame, I unlocked the door.

I knocked, hesitant at what proper manners were between a wolf king and a human prisoner. Because this had never happened before now. No human had ever stepped foot on Arcadian soil before Eden.

“Come in?” her voice questioned, muffled by the door and the hedges grown by Seer and micca magic. No doubt the Seers watched me from the shadows.

I slipped the keys in the pocket of my robe when I entered her room, simple, like the rest of the residential court. Wolves didn’t need much to entertain them indoors when they had the world at their claws.

Clearing my throat, I held my hands behind my back, focusing on everything else but her.

Always rescue those in need.

Always be kind.

I repeated my father’s words over and over like a chant in my head before speaking up, resisting the urge to ask about what she knew. That could wait until tomorrow.

“I wanted to make sure they fed you.” I tried to keep my voice conversational.

Eden sat in one of the chairs at the small table eating a piece of spruce bread. I sat across from her. The wood squeaked, my ears hyper-aware of the sound. I folded my hands on the table, attempting to smile, but it fell flat on my lips. I refocused my attention on her heartbeat.

Eden swallowed her bite of bread. “The healer checked me out and said I should be fine tomorrow. He put more of that stuff on my head.”

“Good.” I nodded. “Waybread should help you heal.”

We sat in awkward silence for a moment.

“So how–”

“I wanted–”

We both paused mid-sentence.

I motioned for her to speak. “You go first.”

“How did you find me?” she asked. “You remembered me.”

I cleared my throat again. “I had forgotten about that day by the river until I read your journal. It all rushed back to me, like a dream.”

I surprised myself with the truth, but something about missing my father and Nash returning and Eden mixed up in all of it. My heart ached for simple days. Running through our mountains. My father’s laugh bubbling up from his chest, rushing like a waterfall.

I missed those days.

I missed him.

“I never forgot you,” Eden whispered. “Or Caroline and Nash.” A worried expression passed over her face for a moment, then she glanced up at me. “What happened to Iain, your father?”

My chest ached, hearing his name again.

She remembered him, his name.

Iain.

Not your majesty or King of Arcadia.

Iain.

Familiar with a man she’d met only once.

Pushing my dark hair up and out of my eyes, I sighed, breath catching in my throat. “He died… ten months ago. And I assumed the role of King of Arcadia.”

The truth made my eyebrows furrow, eliciting an emotion I couldn’t quite name or pin down. I wrestled with the idea, rolling it around in my mind.

Is this regret?

A foreign emotion.

Would things have been different if Nash had been there when our father died?

“That must’ve been pretty difficult for someone so young.” She took another bite of spruce bread.

Pity from a human? She cares.

Why do I care that she cares?

I shook my head, the wolf side of me warring for control with the human side. Thoughts overlapped each other, making my head all fuzzy. I didn’t want to give this human an upper hand on me when she already knew so much. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–”

I stood, cutting her off. I needed to do the best for my people regardless of what this human meant to me or what my father had meant to her. “Be ready tomorrow.”

When I reached for the door, she jumped to her feet. “Be ready for what?”

I half turned, gazing at her sidelong. “My people have been restless and scared since their King died. Helping is our purpose and our downfall. They will not release you with the knowledge you possess. I suggest you make a case if you wish to leave.”

She swallowed, face tense and unsure. “You know, I thought you all might be cruel when I found you.”

I turned to face her, irritation bristling under my skin. Something about how she said the word cruel rubbed me the wrong way since it was her kind that killed my mother and father. But it wouldn’t do to take my grief and frustration out on her. I pushed the emotion away like a wolf pup nipping at my heels.

Eden brushed her mess of curly hair behind her ear. “I told myself that I must have imagined a wolf that rescued me from the river. But I’ve searched for you all for so many years.”

I raised an eyebrow.

Always be kind.

After my father’s words fluttered through my thoughts, an image of Nash overpowered them. He snapped at me for caring, for stooping so low as gentleness when humans brought death with them.

She blushed. “I can’t believe I’ve found you.”

“You didn’t find us. You were brought here.” The words tumbled out before I could stop, bitterness lacing every syllable.

Her smile faltered, and she shrugged. “What’s the difference? I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You arrogant humans think you’re so important. That the world revolves around you.”

“No, that’s not–”

My emotions hit a rolling boil. “You think you found Arcadia? You think you weren’t being followed that day? You think that you’re so brilliant that you discovered the best-kept secret in Shaconage?”

“No, I only meant that I’m grateful to be here. This is all I ever wanted.”

“This?” I sighed. “You wanted to be a prisoner on trial?”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Stop twisting my words.” She moved away from the table. “You’re being so unfair. Just because I’m human doesn’t mean I think like the ones you’ve dealt with.”

“All humans are the same.” I tilted my head from side to side, failing to keep a level head. “You’re weak, powerless, thick-headed, and arrogant. You care so little about the impact you’re having on the greater world. You take and take and take and never give. And you’ve lost the wildness you were born with.”

“You’re cold, you know that?” She shook her head, and I noticed her pale features growing splotchy. “Unfeeling and unkind.”

“Any feeling I had left when I lost my father,” I growled.

I stepped to her with purpose. She backed up against the hedges but stepped forward to avoid the thorns, bumping into me. I grabbed her arm with enough force that her head shot up, frantic and cornered. I noticed the bruising on her arm had turned a slight blue-ish gray.

My heart jumped inside my chest as I stared into her eyes. She seemed so small at that moment, so human. I could almost taste her fear in the air. I ran my tongue over the sharp edge of my teeth, leaning down close to her right ear. Her pulse beat faster.

“I am wild at heart, a wolf at the core. I could rip your throat in seconds,” I whispered, voice rough around the edges. “Don’t for one second think that I’ve forgotten the wild. Or that it has forgotten me.”

I pulled back to look her in the eyes.

Fear.

Paralyzing fear.

Good.

Fear is good.

Much better than familiarity.

I felt her breath on my cheek, her skin against my hand cold despite the warmth emanating from Arcadia’s life source.

She shuddered in my grasp, and I released her, backing up.

She didn’t move.

I swallowed down whatever emotions had lodged in my throat, heat running through my body. Turning away, I headed for the door, pulling out the keys.

“Be ready,” I barked, slamming the door behind me.

I ignored the strange looks from the few people still mingling in the residential court as I locked Eden’s door.

I headed back to Guardian’s Glade. Nash and Caroline had gone, leaving the throne room empty and soulless.

How did this kingdom crumble in a single day?

The day after my father died, I buried him in the Aisle of Kings next to my mother. I stacked his stones. I wept. The tears of grief had since dried into burning anger. Yet all of these raw emotions kept bubbling to the surface.

I wasn’t ready to be a king.

My father realized that Nash would be an Omega. His destiny was to be at the mercy of the pack.

But that didn’t mean I was ready to be the Alpha.

I slipped out of my robe, hanging it on the hook.

I needed space.

I needed air rushing past me.

I needed the oxygen rising in and out of my lungs, heart racing, blood pumping through my veins.

Freedom.

I quickened my pace through the Yard past the pups. I phased as I slipped around the rock formation concealing our forest. With a quick trot, I maneuvered the masked hallway, light calling me further onward.

At the end of the hall, I slipped through the opening and launched into the cold water of the cascade. The mountain water ran over my head, wetting my gray coat.

Feru Falls meant safety. It meant home.

I’m not going to allow my home to fall apart.