To Live Among Wolves (Legends of Arcadia Book 1)

Chapter 10

I tried to tamp down my emotions, but the anxiety only grew. It seemed silly to cry now after so much had happened. I hadn’t cried when I’d been brought in front of the Council. I hadn’t cried when Silas had threatened to rip out my throat. And I hadn’t processed my dream until that moment.

Nyx.

Exactly the entry in my journal for the Smoke Wolf.

Folklore.

Or so I thought.

The reality of such a creature being real and knowing my name… It broke whatever dam I had built that held back my tears.

And then there was Silas.

He watched me, head tilted.

What did I do to deserve his wrath aside from being born a human?

“Eden,” he said. “Can I–” Silas closed his mouth, something at war in his mind. “Would you like a hug?”

“What?” I wiped away some of the tears on my face.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand the question, only that I couldn’t have heard him. A moment ago, he blamed me for things and fought with his brother, and now… I wasn’t sure.

Silas gazed at the branches far above us, muttering something under his breath before turning back at me. “Would you like a hug? Is that something that would comfort you?”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

He’s dead serious.

Silas turned away, mumbling something about humans.

“A hug won’t fix it.” Apologies wouldn’t fix it either, but something had shifted in him after that argument with Nash. An unseen war raged inside of his head, one I would never understand. He struggled as much as I did to understand everything going on. And if a hug is what kept this version of Silas around, I would take it. “A hug is as good of a peace offering as I’ll get from you.”

His eyes slid up to mine, questions swirling in their dark green forests. “If I gave you a hug, would that make you not flinch when I’m near you?”

I paused, remembering the flash of wildness in his eyes while he dragged me through the woods. I remembered his breath against my cheek and the flutter in my heart any time his eyes met mine.

I found myself seeing him maybe for the first time. Caroline said he hadn’t been ready, that they had thrust the title of king on him in a time of grief and pain. I saw the broken pieces and his attempts to glue them back together. I saw his eyes, searching. I thought of being a friend. I thought of knowing him.

And I thought about being held by him.

Curse attractive werewolves.

I nodded.

With uneasy movements, Silas stepped toward me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I hugged him back. His strong muscles shifted under his robe, the scent of the mountains after it rains overwhelming my senses. The moment felt warm, like cozying up by a campfire.

When I could no longer breathe from sheer closeness to this king, he stepped back, running his fingers through his loose curls.

He avoided my gaze as he cleared his throat. “So, I can take you back to your room. Or if…”

His voice trailed off when he met my eyes in the dark. At that moment, I became aware of how alone we were. There were so many words on my lips waiting to finish that sentence.

“Silas,” I swallowed. “You have to understand, I never intended for this to happen. I have only ever wanted to find you again. If I had known…”

“I know.” He straightened himself, messing with the buttons on his robe.

“I know it’s not much to offer, but if there’s anything I can do to help…”

He rubbed his eyes. “What could you do for me?” It sounded like a rhetorical question.

“I don’t know.”

After a moment, he turned on his heel and headed back up the path waving me onward.

I followed in silence until we arrived at my room. “Um, goodnight,” I whispered, gazing up at him.

“Goodnight, Eden.” His voice sounded rough and uneven.

He turned around and left, not glancing back.

Not even to lock me in my room.

The next morning, I woke up much too exhausted to worry about Silas. I had a sneaking feeling that the cause of my headache was lack of caffeine in addition to the healing head wound.

You would think an advanced race of shapeshifters would figure out some way to have coffee, even in the woods.

While I lay there staring at the branches above me, I wondered about the world outside of Arcadia. They’d probably found my car parked in its usual spot in the State Park’s lot. They probably found the bear spray I’d left there and my school bag with some textbooks. They’d probably interviewed people I worked with and asked if anyone had seen me.

My last known location would be my car or the trail I’d been assigned to that day, but they wouldn’t find anything. A bit of blood, maybe. But how far was Arcadia from that trail? How far had Silas brought me?

And did I want them to find me?

Strange enough, my answer would be no. I wanted to research the wild, this was it. No job application or internship could ever afford me this experience. How could I turn back now when there were so many new things to discover?

Not knowing the time, I went ahead and changed into the light green robe per Caroline’s recommendation. I had been worried about being accepted at the Council, but the nightmare about Nyx left me shaken.

I fussed with the robe, thinking about what I would say. Everything felt like my fault. And while I cherished the fact that I could witness the very thing I’d desired most, I hadn’t asked to be brought here. And I didn’t think I deserved to be tried for threatening the exposure of Arcadia because I had doodles of cartoon werewolves in my journal. Betraying the people who had rescued me as a little girl was something I would never do.

Humans often destroyed the things that made them curious. I would die before I let that happen to Arcadia.

Soon, Bennett guided me to the same large room. This time I knew what to do and knelt low before Silas.

The same smirk rested on his face, but something besides wildness rested behind those eyes. Something soft. He seemed well rested after the night we’d had.

I didn’t have time to unravel any mysteries Silas held as he addressed his people and pulled me to my feet. He turned me to face the crowd.

“As you all know, yesterday this human was to be tried for threatening exposure of our kingdom.”

I watched him out of the corner of my eyes. He stood tall and regal in his silvery robe, a crown of willow tucked over his mess of dark hair. He gleamed in the early morning sun, the epitome of some forest god or spirit.

Maybe that’s what virlukos are.

“Yesterday, in addition to this woman, we received two other guests.” Silas swallowed. “My dear brother, Nash, son of King Iain. May his spirit find peace among trees.”

The crowd of people repeated Silas’s words, paying homage to their former king.

Nash ducked his head where he stood in the front row of the crowd with Caroline.

Silas waited for them to grow quiet before continuing. “And last night, our safe haven of Arcadia was breached by Nyx through a nightmare.”

Murmurs of disbelief rippled over the council. Gratitude rushed through me realizing he hadn’t said whose nightmare it had been. Silas held up a single hand and silenced them all at once. The people waited, all watching their king.

Despite what Caroline had said and the interactions I had seen with my own eyes, Silas was a good king. They respected him even when they were scared.

Dropping his hand, Silas glanced at me.

“As you all know, dreams are fickle, but I believe it best to treat it as reality. In lieu of the circumstances at hand, I have decided to pardon this woman for the intrusion if she agrees to assist us. I believe she has valuable insight on Nyx and the outside world. And I grant her honorary Historian authority until the Winter Equinox.”

Another rumble of murmurs from the crowd.

Caroline stepped onto the dais of wood, passing me a deep blue robe. In the light of the sun, the robe flickered like starlight. It, like the other robes, felt like water in my hands.

Silas quieted the crowd once more. “She is to be treated like any other human we have served in the past. But she is of equal status to any one of the pack. I’ll need to talk to the Branches immediately. Council meeting dismissed.”

While the people filed out of the hall casting backward glances at me, Caroline pulled me aside. “Welcome to the pack.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand. You said they were scared.”

Caroline nodded. “And they still are. But they are more afraid of Nyx.”

Nash meandered over while Silas conferred with a group of six or seven people, a rainbow of robes. I watched while he spoke with each of them, delegating responsibilities.

“So what valuable insight do you have on Nyx?” Nash asked, hands in the pockets of his robe. “Last I checked, you didn’t know who he was until last night.”

“I still don’t know who he is. And I’m not aware of any information that I have to help you. But I would give it in a heartbeat if I could. I told Silas as much last night.”

Caroline shrugged. “The fact that you had a dream about Nyx makes you pretty important. You may have access to things we don’t know.”

Silas now stood with three men in violet and one man in light blue, the guard who had stood outside my door and led me to the throne room with Bennett.

I motioned my head to him. “Is he giving orders?”

Caroline and Nash followed my gaze.

“He’s giving them the information they need to talk one-on-one with whoever has questions,” Caroline said. “But I have your pack orders.”

“I already have orders?” My brow furrowed. “But I still don’t know what it is I’m supposed to be doing.”

“You’re first wanted in the kitchen.”

“Historians work in the kitchen?”

She laughed, a sound like songbirds. “No, not at all. But Sarva is tonight, and we need all the help we can get for preparation.”

“Sarva? What is that?”

“Kind of like your version of Thanksgiving or Christmas, but different. Sarva is one of many feasts and festivals we celebrate, but this one is where our ancestors come back for an evening to give advice, reminisce, and visit Arcadia again.”

“Wolves have holidays?” I brushed my hair back over my shoulder. “I guess I didn’t expect it to be so…”

“So what?” Caroline grinned.

I shrugged. “So human?”

“What?” Nash scoffed. “You think we don’t know how to let loose and get wild?” He smiled and ran his tongue over his teeth.

Caroline rolled her eyes as she grabbed my hand. “Ignore him. I usually do.” She pulled me after her.

The cooks had me making the delicious spruce bread I’d been given the morning before, along with preparing the dough for an apple and berry tart. Someone had begun to roast deer meat over a fire, and it elicited a grumble from my stomach.

Caroline set down her copy of the virlukos history of law she’d been reading from for the past hour or so. I had learned a lot about why they existed, the values they stood for, pack hierarchy laws, and so many little things I hadn’t even considered. It all made my head spin.

Caroline closed the book. “If you’ve had enough of making bread and cooking, we’ll take lunch in Guardian’s Glade and discuss your plans for tonight.”

On our path back to the throne room, a young man in a violet robe stopped us.

“Caroline, I–” He froze, staring at her.

“Is everything all right, Markus?” Caroline tilted her head.

The man called Markus moved his lips, but no sound came out. A slight chuckle escaped him. I bit my tongue to stop from laughing.

A blush crept up his ears as he ducked his head down. “Sorry, I’m– Vanni.”

He slipped past us, keeping his head down.

“Oh, Markus.” Caroline shook her head with a smile as we continued our walk.

“What was that about?” I glanced back to watch Markus trip through a group of pups playing in the pathway.

“No, it’s stupid.”

“Come on! Something happened back there.”

Caroline sighed. “I keep feeling like he’s going to, I don’t know, ask me to eat with him? Or help with his Seer stuff. It’s not like a Historian like myself would have much to add.”

“Maybe he’s scared.”

“It’s not like I’m Queen. And I never wanted to be, by the way.” She clarified, one finger in the air. “Is it something I put off? Or am I imagining whatever this is?”

“It’s like he wants to talk but can’t find the words. Maybe you make the first move. A nudge in the right direction and see where it takes you.”

She smiled and walked on. I followed her back to where we had the council meeting. When we entered, Silas was in his wolf form. From what I gathered, he and Nash were walking through their responsibilities for the evening while Caroline would manage the rest of the festivities. She told me that custom called for the sons of the late King to lead the Spirits of the past back to their burial spots as an end to the festivities, and there were certain processes they had to follow.

Everyone bristled with energy. I heard whispers about people excited to see certain people again and talk of music and dance.

But the conversations I wanted to hear only lasted a few seconds. People would whisper about the king and share an expression ranging somewhere between amused and concerned. But I never caught on to what they were suggesting.

Now, while the men walked through with Elder Macon what they were supposed to say and do, I wondered if we might be hosting another wolf pack.

“Caroline.” I turned away from the brothers. “You never told me why you all celebrate the equinox. I know a little about the history and why you protect humans. But why is this night so important to you all?”

Caroline closed the book she had brought along with her. “It’s one of our most sacred events and has been for centuries. But this year is special.”

“Why this year?”

Caroline frowned. “It’s the first Sarva since the Passing of Kings. Kind of a post-coronation ceremony. And Silas is twenty.”

“And that’s a special age?” I turned back to Silas, who had phased, bare back facing me as he put on his robe. I saw his shoulder muscles tense when he moved to slide his arms in the sleeves.

I turned to Caroline, face burning. My face had to be scarlet like the cover of her book.

“Silas is the new King of Arcadia, so he and our father share a heart-to-heart. It’s a moment where the new king or queen can ask questions of the predecessor. King Iain will return in Spirit as well as our people, along with all of the other ancestral kings and queens of old,” Caroline continued, oblivious to my abashed state. “As for Silas’s age, tonight his life mate will be assigned.”

I swallowed. “So it’s a wedding feast.”

“You could say that.” Caroline shrugged as the boys headed our way. “Each Branch has a representative that votes on which heir is first in line when the heirs are between the ages of fifteen and twenty. Usually the decision is made when the heirs reach twenty, but under the circumstances, they voted early. Nash had disappeared, and I’d grown numb the years after our mother had died, so Silas was the natural choice. And now, our father will decide who will be our new queen.”

“So Iain is coming back to life?”

Caroline shook her head, thumbing through the book in front of her. “Not exactly. His Spirit will return for the evening. But as far as I know, they are sentient and responsive, like they’re truly living without having full bodies.”

I bit my lip as I traced the grain of the table. “And Iain chooses the queen based on merit?”

Caroline shrugged. “I’ve never really thought about it, never something I had to consider. Maybe he knows something we don’t now that he’s passed. Or maybe it’s knowledge passed to him from the Elder. But by midnight, we’ll have a chosen queen and the ceremony will take place during Joulo.”

Why does the thought of Silas marrying some wild wolf girl make my stomach hurt?

I chided myself, upset for allowing my emotions to twist into whatever this mess was. Silas made it very clear that he disliked humans. And he’d been so moody that I had trouble keeping up with him.

Then I remembered the hug.

The smell of rain.

His strength despite his circumstance.

I had to admit the attraction, but that didn’t mean I had to hold onto it. Nor could I.

It’ll all be over tonight.

“Glad you ladies could join us for a meal.” Nash flopped down next to me. “Seems like I’ll be accompanying you tonight, since you’re the guest of honor. Kind of like a weird body guard.”

“Guest of honor? All I’ve done is have nightmares and bake bread.” I chuckled, trying to ease the growing tension I felt near Silas. The image of his back flashed in my mind, and I ducked my head to my bowl of stew.

“But bread is a delicious food,” Nash reasoned, picking up his bowl. “Speaking of, I hope we’re having apple berry tart tonight. It was Mother’s favorite.”

Caroline smiled. “You always tried to take mine!”

“And I always had the nasty job of keeping the peace.” Silas chuckled.

I ate my stew in silence, listening to them reminisce about the past. The thought of their childhood spoiled by the loss of both their mother and their father made my appetite go sour. I pushed my bowl away from me on the table.

“You don’t look so good.” Nash touched my shoulder. “Please don’t tell me you’re one of those humans who eats only vegetables. Because that stew has a ton of meat in it.”

I shook my head, managing a smile. “So much has changed, and I wish I could go back to the Little River where we all met and start again. Do you still go out there?”

Silas and Caroline stopped eating and exchanged a glance.

“Eden,” Silas began, “if Nyx is able to infiltrate your dreams, it means he’s near. I had a discussion with the Elder and our top Seers this morning, and they all agree that we can’t allow you to leave Arcadia until we sort this out. With the threat of danger…”

My mind brought up memories of the nightmare intermingled with the brief history of the Arcadian pack of virlukos Caroline had shared while we baked.

I looked down at my hands in my lap. If Nyx was real and prowling around the Appalachian Mountains, I didn’t want to be alone either. But the words until we sort this out echoed in my thoughts.

Will I be allowed to stay when this is all over?

Maybe I could work in the kitchens and help cook or babysit the pups.

The thought disappeared as Silas began asking me questions about my research journal. I told him the basics of my job for the National Park Service and talked about my own personal studies.

“After meeting y’all, I grew obsessed with wolves and all things folklore. I journaled about it. If I had my journal now, I would show you.”

Silas stood and walked over to a door that I hadn’t noticed before, hidden behind his throne in the hedge. After a moment and the slight squeaking of wood on wood, he returned with my journal in hand.

“I kept it in my room,” he mumbled, passing me the journal. “For safekeeping.”

The idea of him reading my journal brought heat to my cheeks. I had assumed he’d read through it, but the confession felt like he’d read the pages of my soul.

I leafed through the entries with memory more than intent. My fingers opened the pages of the Smoke Wolf. A very fuzzy and blended drawing of a dark wolf and red eyes nearly jumped from the page.

“I got the idea of him from the Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle,” I murmured, remembering the haunting mystery. “The only things I could find out about the Smoke Wolf cryptid are here, from some page about Appalachian folklore and how to protect yourself. Most of it was sasquatch or whatever, but there were small sections about werewolves, wendigos, raven mockers, and the Smoke Wolf.”

Caroline rolled her eyes at the word werewolf, but the boys sat at full attention.

“So the first time you’d ever encountered Nyx was in your dream last night?” Silas asked.

I nodded, not wanting to look at him. Between his constant mood swings and how much he dealt with, I walked on eggshells around him. And for whatever reason, my mind kept falling back to the purpose of tonight’s festivities. I couldn’t help but wonder if Silas felt nervous.

His engagement feast is tonight, but instead of worrying about his future with his wife, he’s having to worry about an outside threat.

All because he’s the king. Or because of me.

But he cared for his people.

And that should be his biggest priority, right?

I hoped for his sake that I dreamt of nothing that night. He deserved at least one moment of happiness.