To Live Among Wolves (Legends of Arcadia Book 1)

Chapter 16

Silas led me through the woods on a small boarded pathway through the forest. I was getting used to the absence of shoes after leaving them in my room that first day. I could feel everything: the wet boards and the grass tickling my toes.

“Where are we going?” I whispered, something stirring inside of me—excitement and nervousness.

“Patience, young human.” Silas chuckled. “We’re almost there.”

I flinched. I never dreamed that the word human would be an insult. But I found myself bristling every time Silas said it. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t even my fault. But to be human meant I’d always be less than the wolves of Arcadia.

The trees began thinning out, and gray light filtered around us. Craning my neck, I caught a glimpse of open sky past the trees, the sound of rain pattering on each individual leaf of each of the countless trees. My jaw slid open and my eyes wandered over the dancing branches.

Silas’s deep laugh startled me.

“What?” I raised an eyebrow.

He laughed again, shaking his head. “You’re so… human.”

“Isn’t that a bad thing?” I hated that I heard the doubt and fear of disapproval in my voice.

“I forget, sometimes, to appreciate the small things. But you remind me to pay attention a little more. That life itself is magical even in the small moments.”

Silas pulled me forward down the boarded path, and soon the whole sky emerged like the mountains and trees had hidden it from view. A great big expanse fell open before me, light fracturing in so many shades, faded by the clouds. Mist blanketed the folds of the Great Mountains, trees punctuating where they met the horizon.

“What is this place?” I breathed, eyes taking in as much as they would allow.

“Welcome to Rauha, my secret place. Rauha means peace. This is my place of peace.”

A light mist brushed past, sending a shiver down my spine. But the rush pulled a laugh out of my innermost being.

“Since we were interrupted before,” Silas bowed his head, extending his hand to me, “may I have another dance with you, most esteemed guest of Arcadia?”

“A human dancing with the wolf king?” I mocked, sliding my hand into his. “How scandalous.”

Silas grinned. “You forget he intends to marry her.”

My stomach lurched at the words. It wasn’t like marriage hadn’t been part of the bound mates thing. It wasn’t like I didn’t realize the weight of what had happened in the previous twenty four hours. But something about Silas speaking the words aloud… It brought heat to my cheeks.

Marriage.

I would be his wife in three months’ time.

He pulled me close, swaying in the drizzle. His eyes held secrets that I wished to unfold.

“Too bad we didn’t know,” he mumbled.

“What do you mean?” I gazed up at him, watching his eyes and lips.

“Back when we first met.” Silas’s voice reverberated in my chest. “We could’ve stopped ourselves from wasting so much time.”

“We’re here now,” I whispered. “This must’ve been part of the plan. All of our history has led to this moment.”

Silas grew quiet as something passed over his eyes like a cloud over the sun. “I wish my father could have known you better. He would’ve loved you.”

As if dammed up by the sheer strangeness of the past few days, tears spilled down my cheeks like the waterfalls hidden in these mountains. I turned my face down, avoiding his gaze. We stopped dancing, and I tried to shake away the growing ache of profound loss. Silas bent his head down and met my eyes, a shadow of emotion casting over his features.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He said it in such a sweet whisper that a sob escaped my lips.

“I don’t know why I’m so emotional over this.” I sniffled. “I only met him that one time, but the knowledge that you all existed somewhere in the world confirmed that magic waited to be discovered. And knowing that he’s gone is painful.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. It’s unfair of me to be like this when he’s your father. You must miss him so much.”

“Eden.” Silas hummed my name. “It’s all right to cry. And I do miss him. And my mother. I miss having a complete family, and they were so in love.”

I brushed away the tears with my thumbs. “What was she like?”

Silas held my hands in his, gazing out over the expansive view of rolling blue mountains. “Regal. Being a queen was in her bones.”

I sniffed again, blinking to slow my tears. “I wish I could say the same about myself.”

He grinned, rolling his eyes. “You’re wild at heart. That counts for a lot.” He sighed, dropping his head back so his eyes faced the foliage above us. “I thought losing my mother would be the hardest thing. I thought it would break me. I was fifteen.”

“Silas, I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, pursing his lips. “My father turned into a shell for a while. The kingdom grieved for such a long time. And then, the sun peeked out again. Theirs was a passionate love, something that burned, a beacon for all of Arcadia. And when her light went out, we all lost our way for a bit.

“And I clung to my duties as an heir. They kept me afloat. Duty and discipline. I ate well, I hunted well, I patrolled and mingled and performed so well. But duty became my identity, and I lost myself in what I wanted to be instead. And then, after losing my father, I only had Caroline.”

I held Silas’s face in one hand, running my thumb against his light stubble. “A child should never bury their parents so young.”

“But now I have you.” He pulled me closer, arms wrapped over my shoulders as I buried my face into his shoulder.

I couldn’t help but take deep breaths, like the smell of him brought me some sort of peace that I hadn’t had since that day I slipped into the river. Or maybe it was this place—Rauha—that brought me to rest again.

“We should be heading back,” he whispered into my hair. “They’ll be needing me.”

“Of course.” I pulled back. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” he whispered, caressing my cheek like he’d done it a thousand times, like he didn’t light my skin on fire with his touch. “You don’t need to apologize to me. You come before duty, before ritual, before everything. You’re going to be my wife. You’re going to be my queen.”

His words sent my thoughts in a spiral. The reality settled in again that I would have to lead a kingdom.

“Silas,” I breathed. “I–”

“I can’t wait until you see the ceremony things.” He gushed as he brought me back down the path. “It’ll all be perfect. The Tailors will make the most elegant dress for you to wear. And Caroline will help you with all the details.”

The blood rushing through my ears drowned out his words.

Thump, thump.

Thump, thump.

Thump, thump.

Queen.

How will I ever be enough for this?