To Live Among Wolves (Legends of Arcadia Book 1)

Chapter 39

The birds alerted me to the storm before the thunder did. The crows had been circling, and the songbirds foraged before disappearing to hunker in their nests. Not long after, the first crackle and echo of rolling thunder ensued.

I loved the rain, but electrical storms had always put me on edge. Power lurked in those clouds. Danger and flood followed in its wake. And yet, the rainy season had only begun.

I leaned back from my position between Nash and Caroline, where we sat at Rauha. I lay down between them, gazing up at the tree branches stretching over the edge of the outcrop past our bare feet. The black clouds on the horizon couldn’t be seen if I looked straight up.

Caroline lay down, turning her eyes to meet mine.

Nash laid down, sighing as he did so.

“What now?” Caroline whispered.

I smiled at her. “I’m taking this day a moment at a time.”

I was grateful Eden had been aware enough to give us space. It’s not often you have a whole day to spend with your family before you die.

My mother hadn’t gotten that luxury.

My father hadn’t been given it either.

I needed this.

If I’d taken my stand tomorrow amidst secrets and lies, attempting to soften the blow to my family, I would’ve been a coward. If I were to hold my ground against Nyx and protect my kingdom and my people without saying a proper goodbye to my siblings, I would’ve been restless as a Spirit.

I wanted to do this right. Or at least as right as I could. This seemed like the best option.

After another warning rumble of thunder, Caroline started to hum a tune that Elder Macon once taught us. Nash joined in, humming along, taking breaths during the pauses. The nostalgia sent aches through my chest as I let my eyes fall closed.

We used to spend hours up here, hiding from training or bathtime or lessons. Mother would hike up to us and drag us back down with threats if we didn’t behave well.

But it had been a refuge during hard seasons or when there were altercations with local human populations. It had been my safe haven when Mother passed on. We’d always had a place to go where we knew who we were.

We weren’t royalty for once.

We were siblings.

But that part had disappeared along with Nash after our mother passed on, leaving me and Caroline to pick up the pieces and try to make our family whole again.

I’d started coming up to Rauha alone. It felt empty back then, but it was supposed to be this way. Us three together forever.

“My king?”

Forever apparently didn’t last forever.

I opened my eyes. “Markus.”

Caroline scrambled to her feet, dusting off her robe in seconds.

Nash and I shared a bemused expression as we pulled ourselves to our feet. Caroline had only ever been like this with Markus. Never anyone else. And gratitude rushed through me, realizing that she had found someone.

Markus bowed. He seemed anxious.

Maybe this whole engagement and then becoming king thing has severed his nerve.

“Markus, loosen up a bit. You’re in good company here.” I shouldered Nash.

“It’s Ransom,” Markus said.

“What about him?” I raised an eyebrow, peace slipping from my grasp like it always did with Ransom.

Markus scratched at the back of his neck. “He’s gone. And he’s taken Eden.”

Wind be with me.

I sprinted down the path towards my mother’s garden where the sacred ruins lay waiting.

He has to be there.

Most of Arcadia avoided the place, superstition thinking it haunted. But my mother saw it as a place of beauty, not ashes.

Nash and Caroline tumbled behind me, Markus somewhere behind us.

I shoved branches aside, groaning with every bite and burn. I didn’t have much of a need for my skin and bones after tomorrow.

But Ransom wasn’t the type to disappear.

Something was wrong. Arcadia felt it.

Wind, be behind me.

I tripped onto the path between the Yard and the heart of Arcadia. I turned left, farther into the forest.

“Wait!”

Nearly colliding with Nash and Caroline who were right behind me, I spun to find Leander gliding towards us. His unseeing eyes stared at me, an unusual ashy substance covering his lids and surrounding skin, something I’d never seen him do before. But maybe it was some Seer ritual.

“You’re going in the wrong direction.”

“No offense, Leander,” Nash started with labored breaths, “but how do you know which direction is right when you can’t see?”

Leander blinked, turning his head to Nash. “You never change, Nash.” With a quiet chuckle, he turned and set off at a brisk pace towards the Yard. “Follow me. I know what he’s planning.”

Caroline huffed in disbelief. “Leander has never been wrong before, but now is not the best time to test that.”

I shook my head. “We need to follow him.”

“He’s blind.” Nash threw a hand out after the Seer. “Isn’t there a proverb about that?”

“I can still hear, you know!” Leander called. “We’re going to miss him if you all don’t hurry up! Nu, panni!”

I didn’t need another command. I jogged to catch up with Leander.

“I apologize for my brother.” I shook my head, matching the Seer’s pace. “I’ve been apologizing for him for years, and it seems I won’t be stopping anytime soon.”

Leander cracked a smile. “You know what they say, better to be blind than to see but not have vision.”

Leander led us to the depths of the Sage Brush, Markus finally catching up to our small party as we turned down the path we’d taken when I’d ingested nightshade. But the path grew longer and darker.

Suddenly, a small blue flame appeared in the palm of Leander’s hand. He blew on it, and the embers flickered and flew around us, lighting lanterns that had been immersed in darkness.

I turned to see Leander open a door and freeze.

“What is it?” I placed a hand on his shoulder.

He took a deep breath and backed up. “We are too late.”

Nash groaned. “I told you! We should’ve kept to our original–”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Caroline cut him off. “You’ve always been the one to–”

They continued bickering and talking over each other when I turned back to Markus. He watched Leander, eyebrows low over his eyes.

“Leander,” he murmured, pushing past Nash and Caroline’s argument. “Face me.”

I glanced between them as Leander shifted to face us.

“Silva,” Markus cursed. He stepped forward, taking the Seer’s face in his hands. “I could bite Ransom right now,” Markus growled, wiping the strange, ashy substance off of Leander’s face. “He’s learned this ancient way of Sight. It’s a little like a parasite. He and Aubrey have been experimenting for quite some time.”

“What do you mean by experimenting?” I barked. “What’s going on?”

Markus stepped back, giving Leander room. Nash and Caroline had shut up and watched the Seers. Leander shook his head as if to clear his thoughts.

“Better?” Markus asked, holding his friend’s shoulder.

“Ransom?” Leander murmured.

“Who else?” Markus threw his hands up, sighing when he turned around.

“Does someone want to explain what happened with the eyes and the–” Nash motioned circles around his eyes.

Leander bowed his head. “My sincerest apologies. We have all been deceived.”

Markus ran a hand through his hair. “There are old texts—centuries old—that discuss this parasitic practice of Sight. It’s almost like it puts the host’s conscious mind to sleep, and the parasite can walk, talk, live, breathe, see, and speak through the host.”

“That’s terrifying,” Caroline said.

“I can’t remember the space between now and when I bumped into Ransom when he headed out.” Leander held his hands to his temples. “It’s like the memory disappeared and there’s a hole where it had been before.”

“A hole?” I turned to Markus.

“Like a gap in memories.” Nash nodded. “It’s like everything is gray between then and now, right?”

Leander and Markus looked at Nash but stayed silent. I let the information sink in, worried that being with Ransom put Eden in danger.

Was he on our side? Had he ever been?

“What do we do now?” Caroline asked, turning to Markus.

“I should find the Elder,” I said. “He would know what to do. With everything going on–”

“That’s just it, Silas,” Markus interrupted. “You bolted before I could explain everything, and I’ve been trying to catch up to you. Ransom and Eden are gone. So is Elder Macon. I couldn’t find Aubrey either.”

“You could’ve started with that,” Caroline said, throwing up her arms.

“I tried!” Markus growled. “Silas took off before I could say more.”

“Do you think they’re seeking a vision of her future?” Nash turned to Caroline.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” I snapped. I had enough of bickering and differing opinions. “Markus, you’ll take Caroline and Leander and search for them wherever you think they’d do the vision ceremony.” I pointed at Nash. “You and I are going to Mother’s garden.”

“The ruins?” Leander asked.

“I have a hunch.”

“A hunch,” Nash repeated, eyebrows raised. “We’re trusting a hunch?”

“Do you have a better idea?” I shoved past him. “You’re the Omega here. You listen to me whether you like it or not.”

I threw my robe on the ground. With barely a backwards glance, I shifted and ran back down the lit path and through the Sage Brush until I reached the light of day. I didn’t stop to wait for Nash and took off towards the heart of Arcadia.

The storm had grown restless in our absence, clouds hanging low. Purple streaks of hot lighting streaked through the cloud. A moment passed before an ear-splitting crash shook the trees around me. The forest aged while I ran, the trees becoming older and denser. Moss coated the floor instead of pine needles and leaf litter. The roots of trees reached out in a hesitant greeting as I approached the edge of the garden.

The stones of the ruins rose out of a light fog, wildflowers mingling with ferns, quaking in the wind of the storm. I shifted in a stumble, bare feet hitting the forest floor. The breeze picked up speed, tearing through my hair while I threw myself to the ground in front of the ruins.

I was alone.

They weren’t there. My hunch had been wrong.

I thought for sure that Ransom would have brought her here, like a mirror of the vision he had shown me with Lycaon and Nyx. I thought maybe he would bring her here and Nyx would come in, like two lines of a circle meeting over space and time.

But I was wrong.

My knees hit the grassy earth in front of the bloodroot and daffodils. My heart ached at the sight of them, thinking of my mother and father.

“I want things to be as they were before. I want to go home,” I choked.

But you are home.

A harsh breeze rustled the petals of the Solomon’s Seal and echinacea flowers, throwing my hair into my eyes. I could almost hear my mother saying I needed a trim, teasing me for my un-royal appearance. I hadn’t had the energy to keep up with it. Between the nightmares I’d had since taking the blasted nightshade, the growing tension with Eden, and deciding to die tomorrow, I hadn’t even thought about my hair.

When I moved to sit against the ruins, heavy breathing and approaching footfalls reached my ears followed by my brother’s exhausted features, shifting to his human body as he stumbled into the clearing. Thunder rolled, echoing in my ribcage.

“Not used to long-distance running.” Nash panted, planting his hands on his knees. His chest rose and fell in a rush to suck air back into his lungs.

“Can’t keep up with the Alpha?” I raised an eyebrow.

The dig didn’t feel as rewarding as I’d hoped. The disappointment of not finding Eden had far too much control over my emotions.

“Nash,” I started, unsure how I would ask. “Where were you? All those times you disappeared, where did you go? You left us after we’d already lost so much.”

He straightened, brows pinched while he tried to balance his breathing. “I went everywhere. Anywhere. I needed to get away from this place.” He shook his head. “I needed away from all those expressions of pity people gave us. I couldn’t answer their questions or comfort them. I hurt too much to console their sorrow for Mother’s death.”

“I couldn’t give them answers either, but you left me alone.”

I heard the bitterness in my voice and hated it, but my filter had disappeared with the arguing in the Sage Brush and the panic of the unknown. My nerves were fried.

“I didn’t leave you alone,” Nash shook his head. “You had Caroline and Father. I was alone. And I know, I chose it for myself. I made my decision, and I’m dealing with the consequences.”

“I’ll never understand you, Nash.” I leaned my head back, gazing up at the dark storm clouds above, casting the clearing in a muggy gray. The ground rumbled another warning and a bolt of lightning crashed somewhere east of us.

Nash slumped against the stone near me, one arm dangling over his knee. “I sent letters to Father, you know, when I…”

The sentence hung there, unfinished in words but complete with meaning.

“Letters?” I asked, heart twisting. “He never said.”

“Every week away. Told him what I did, who I met. Even the bad parts.” He swallowed. “When I went hungry or got rejected by some other wolf pack, and my rough encounters with humans.”

“Nash.” I shook my head. “Why didn’t you come home sooner?”

He shook his head. “That’s just it. I told you. Months of my life are gone. I sent a letter to him, saying I would return home before the Joulo feast. I knew I’d been gone too long, and it had been a difficult month. But the next thing I remember is being back in our neck of the woods just before Sarva.”

“But…” I started, blinking a few times. “That would mean–”

“I lost almost an entire year of my life.” Nash’s jaw ticked.

Thunder rumbled under us, shaking the trees.

“After seeing Leander like that with his eyes all…” Nash clenched his fists. “I’m wondering now if Nyx found me in a low moment and–” He waved the thought away, biting his lower lip.

“Nash,” I reached out, placing my hand on his shoulder. “I am so sorry.”

He shrugged, sending my hand sliding back to the earth. “Nothing we can do about it now. Just have to move on.”

“Do you think Elder Macon would know?” I glanced up at the angry sky. “You saw how he moved the trees. Maybe he knows something we don’t?”

Nash shook his head. “You’re caught up on the tree thing? We studied it during part of our lessons with Father.”

I straightened. “What?”

Nash’s eyes met mine, raising an eyebrow. “Did you miss all of that? We talked about it for a week.”

Incredulous, I pushed to my feet. “If you paid attention to those lessons, can you bend the trees?”

Nash frowned. “Never had the knack. You have to be pretty dedicated to it. Something about a gift from Lycaon or something like that.”

“You knew how to gain the ability to move trees and manipulate the wind, and you didn’t care enough to attempt?”

He shrugged. “I wasn’t the one who didn’t pay attention to Father’s lessons.”

“Unbelievable.” I shook my head at him.

He sighed, standing. “Well, I guess we keep looking. Do you have any idea of where you’re going?”

“Not a clue.” I rubbed my jaw, my mind still on the trees.

“All right, we’ll meet back up at Guardian’s Glade in an hour, yeah?” He backpedaled towards the path to the Yard.

“See you then. Howl if you find anything.”

With a single nod, he phased and disappeared around a bend in the path, leaving me alone once again.