To Tame An Angel: A Femdom Fantasy Romance

CHAPTER TWELVE

NALLA

The feeling of someone smelling my hair woke me, but since I was warm and comfortable, I barely moved. It took a moment to realize I was draped over Tannor, sticky skin to sticky skin. Despite wishing for a bath, I was too content at this moment to move. He burrowed his nose deeper into my scalp and I smiled, sliding my hand across his expansive chest and pinching his nipple. He stiffened, caught doing something he didn’t want me to know.

My angel was determined to make me–and himself–believe this is not something he desired. But I’d been the one with the vantage point when he stuck his ass out towards me while I massaged his back. If his ass cheeks weren’t so thick, I would’ve gotten a peek at his hole, which would’ve been a nice reward.

He pulled back, and I could almost discern the grumble in his tone. When I turned to him, he was staring ahead with dark eyes and furrowed brows. Despite the shave they gave him before he was brought, a steady beard coats his chin. It’s thick with brown hairs scattered down his neck. He’s incredibly handsome. I daresay even better looking than Zaya’s first angel, known as Beast. As the eldest, she was determined to have the finest specimen the pit could offer, but I believe I took the bargain.

“Where is your head?” I asked, caressing his chest.

He licked his lips and glanced at me. “What did the general want?”

His question shocked me, and I stiffened. Tannor shouldn’t ask. He has no right to ask about the affairs of women. To even dare ask should earn him a beating. But something is changing. I’m petrified that if he doesn’t fully give himself to me, allow me to truly tame him, then they’ll take him and break him.

Harrowing visions of mother chaining him and using her arsenal of tactics until he’s nothing but a screaming madman passed through my thoughts. There would be nothing sexual about it, pleasure wouldn’t be in the equation. It would be torture and inevitable death, as they would pull his wings from his back and amputate them.

I curled my hands into his chest. To my surprise, he brought his hand over mine, warming my skin. It’s like we’re holding hands, and a fluttering feeling jumped in my stomach.

“She heard of your escape,” I confessed.

His jaw twitched. “You had to promise things, didn’t you?”

He turned to me with bright and clear blue eyes encased in long dark lashes. Tannor had learned to expect honesty from me, and the fact he expected it placed us both in danger.

“I did.” I nodded.

Tannor was quiet for a while, barely moving but for the rise and fall of his chest.

“You shouldn’t worry,” I finally said, pushing myself off him.

This was too intimate, too close. Sex was one thing; this was something else. This was feelings. Love cannot exist between us or even anything remotely resembling love.

“Forgive me if worrying about my death is not allowed,” his words were acidic.

Standing from the bed, I cast him a look. We’re both naked, but all sexual need was sapped from me.

“I told you I would take care of you.” Anger rose within me.

Tannor laughed, a sardonic laugh, and it felt like we were strangers once more, in a room packed with unsaid things.

“You live in dreams,” he said. “The rest of us live in hell.”

I studied his anger. It was so deeply ingrained that it occupied all the small gaps between the cells of his body. He couldn’t extract it, even if he wished, even if he fully gave himself to me.

“Look at me,” my voice was tight, controlled, but magic was simmering like electrical wires through my veins.

He rose from the bed, all naked and solid, a wall of flesh, looking down at me. We stared at one another, breathing sharply. There are so many words mangled in my mouth that I don’t know where to begin. I wished to tell him that I wasn’t his task master, unless he asked for one. I wasn’t his enslaver, unless he wished to be enslaved. I wouldn’t be his lover, unless he desired it. But I desperately wanted him to want all that and more.

I was flooded with the realization that I didn’t know how to communicate these things. There was much tutelage on how to tame him, but not on how to make him mine. And anyone who is tamed without belonging is nothing more than someone awaiting their moment for freedom.

A knock startled us, and I almost cursed at the constant intrusions. Yesterday, mother and now who?

“Nalla?”

Valle’s voice surprised me. My sister never visited me, not once. The family must certainly be far more worried than they’re letting on.

“I’m coming!”

Tannor sneered at the door, but I grasped his arm.

“Bathe. Have breakfast. I’ll be back,” I said quickly.

He yanked his hand from my grasp, and I’m more hurt than angry. Tannor saw this and flinched. He took a deep breath and slowly nodded.

“If you don’t want this, then you need to at least pretend. If I discard you, if I claim I don’t want you–” A sharp pain speared my chest, and I felt like crying. Defeated.

“They’ll kill me. I’m aware of the consequences, Nalla. You weren’t the only one who was schooled,” he said tightly. “Struggle the first three to four nights, they said. Then give in and secure your place in her home. Because if you cannot manage that, death will await. Those were the words used.”

I don’t myself to respond. So, that’s the crux. They give in because they wish to live. They pretend to enjoy it. If I were in his shoes, I would likely do the same. This is all a moot point. None of it is genuine. None of it is real. He played his part, and I played mine. We’re nothing but pawns, the slick oil to keep the societal wheels turning.

He was right. I lived in dreams.

Tannor watched as I walked to my dressing room and slid a flowing dress over my body. His eyes stayed on me as I haphazardly knot my hair. And he remained focused on me as I slipped into my sandals.

“We’re clear, Tannor,” I snapped, annoyed at his gaze. “You don’t need to stare anymore. You can close your eyes.”

When I looked up, he was unmoved. Those deep blue eyes were stark against his tanned skin. “Shall I await my execution, then?”

I sighed deeply and walked to the door. “Give me credit. I’m a dreamer, remember? I wouldn’t want you dead. Even if we’re strangers, I would ensure you’re safe. Even if you don’t wish it of me. Because despite your words, you still belong to me. It’s my body against the sharp knives waiting for you out there. The least you can do is stop staring at me when I’ve asked you to.”

With a sharp yank, I opened the door and strode out. My heart was beating erratically, and I was angry Valle was here because I couldn’t take a moment to soothe the deep pain birthing under my breast. It felt bolder when mother came; because I’d thought it would be me and Tannor, a little team, against the world. But I was on my own attempting to save the life of a man who vitriolically hated me. A man who pretended.

Valle was in the gardens, and she turned to me with a pleasant smile. She looked stunning. She was the loveliest of us, with thick long curls and bright green eyes made brighter by her pregnancy. I was surprised to find she’s with Rynn and my spirit suddenly soared. My little sister turned to me with a wide smile and a squeal of delight. She was in my arms in two steps, and I slacked at the relief of being with someone who wished to have me.

Rynn is the only one not born of our father. Her hair was long and blond, and her eyes were a golden hue. She was my precious one, for she was born when I was old enough to hold her small hand and teach her things.

“Can I see him?” Rynn turned hopeful eyes on me. “I’ve never seen an untamed one before.”

Thinking of Tannor and his words dispersed my momentary happiness. “No. He’s resting.” Lies. “I may have worn him out last night.” More lies. It was me who passed out on top of him.

Rynn provided me with a coy look. “Is he truly massive? Valle said he was!”

I laughed and pulled her in, kissing her forehead. “Enjoy your innocence, because it’ll quickly disappear the moment mother begins your training.”

She was fifteen and all bright and sunshine, understanding very little of the dynamics. For now, she was tasked with studying history, arithmetic, and fighting techniques. Her tutelage would begin next year.

“I could tame a man now.” She held up her small hand and a sparse spark flittered from her fingertips.

Valle grabbed us and pulled us deeper into the garden. “I need breakfast and we can catch up while we feed the pregnant woman.”

We settled around the table, nestled in the center of my gardens, amongst the roses and freesias and the bees dancing from opened bud to open bud. There’s entirely too much food, but Valle looked delighted, and I was ravenous myself.

“Mother sent you?” I asked afterwards as the plates were removed by servants and warm tea was served.

Valle looked so content with her meal she didn’t bother denying mother’s assignment. “She worries.”

“All the time,” Rynn pipped, and I kicked her lightly under the table. “It’s true, she won’t even talk about father. Ever.”

Rynn doesn’t know that our father is not her father. What did it even matter? Father was long gone, and mother sought solace in one of her many men. For all we knew, Rynn’s father served her breakfast each morning without being able to tell her of his identity.

Valle glanced at me and inhaled sharply.

I leaned towards Rynn and smiled. “I have a new palomino pony.”

Rynn’s eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open.

“I rode it the other day. A fine galloper,” I said in a tempting tone.

Our little sister leaned forward in desperation, her gaze wide. “Oh, may I take it for a ride? Please say yes!”

Pretending to think about it, I feigned a resigned sigh. “But no harsh jumps.”

Her chair toppled backwards before I could heed her to calm, and she called wildly for the servants to saddle up the beast for her to ride.

“Very clever,” Valle said with a smile as she blew into her hot teacup.

My face fell, and I turned sharply to her. “Cut the niceties and tell me.”

She raised a brow, and her hand came to her belly, soothing the child within. “How testy, Nalla. Mother was right to worry. A few days into a taming and you should glow with how many times he’s made you come.”

Her words were acrid, burning my skin with the reality of my predicament. Valle never had such issues. Her men gladly submitted to her just at the sight of her beauty. I looked away, my eyes on the dancing bee hovering over the flowers. The bee led such a simple life so far away from the complexities clouding mine.

“He hates me.” The confession escaped because I had to tell someone. If I didn’t, it would scorch my throat raw like acid.

Valle hummed. “Of course he does, darling. What did you expect?”

I shrugged, losing all interest in the cooling tea. “I don’t know. Something like what you have, I suppose.”

She inhaled and closed her eyes, allowing the sun to toast her cheeks. “Every man is different. Some never enjoy it. Others delight in it.”

“I thought he enjoyed it. He was simply pretending,” I said bitterly.

“Cocks don’t harden on their own, Nalla.” Her voice was coy and full of laughter. “And concerning yourself, if he’s enjoying it will sap your own pleasure. Let it be up to him if he enjoys it. Worry about your own orgasms, darling. I’m certain if men had their choice, they would come in five seconds, never giving a spare thought if we were even wet.”

I contemplated her words, sinking into the plush chair and burying myself in my morose thoughts. Her knowing eyes were on me, and I felt myself tired from the constant studying everyone seemed to do.

“You thought it would—what? A relationship?” She wasn’t mocking me, but there’s a slight tone of incredulity.

I glanced away. “No. I know it’s not allowed.”

Vallen let out a long sigh and leaned forward, reaching for my hand and threading our fingers together. When I was little, she would do the same thing.

“You feel for them, don’t you?” Her words were low, as if she shared a secret.

“I know it’s because of Ellar,” I said.

The sound of my brother’s name feels so foreign that it made Valle flinch, but she didn’t disagree.

“I always think of him. I cannot help it. He would be a handsome, strapping man by now, but we wouldn’t know him. We wouldn’t be allowed to be proud of him or tease him or anything of the like. He would be a ghost, same as he is now. Just another man for a woman to break,” I murmured.

Valle pulled back with taunt lips. “They don’t need to break, Nalla. Mine are still perfectly straight—and hard. Why do you think I don’t allow mother in my home? She wouldn’t like how I live with them. How the three of us delight in each other’s company. I’ve no need to know which is the father because the child belongs to the three of us.”

I glanced at her. “Don’t they get jealous of one another?”

This made her laugh, and she looked even lovelier than before. “Oh no! They enjoy each other’s company as well.” She paused and looked almost naughty. “Sometimes I just watch them together. It’s quite erotic.”

I’d seen it before, of course, but the way she said it made a blush creep up my face. “I thought that if they produced that scent, you know the arousal, then I would know and ensure we were both enjoying it.”

Valle shook her head and sipped her tea. “That’s a myth. I’ve never smelled it. If it happens, it only happened when I told them the child was coming. But it was slight and then I realized I purchase new bathing oils.”

She laughed, slightly embarrassed by her own confusion.

I was shocked at her words, and the denial was quick on my tongue, but I stopped myself. I realized Valle’s men played at loving her. To save themselves. To not die. That’s when I recalled how often Tannor’s arousal had come. For me. For what I do to him. The cock doesn’t produce the scent… the desire does. A cock hardens on its own. It needed little cajoling and a breast without a woman entices it. But desire is something entirely different.

My eyes found my balcony.

Valle continued speaking about focusing on myself and what I wished him to do for me. She went into a litany of explanations and suggestions, but I hardly listened. My mind was on Tannor, on his reactions, on his words. He smelled my hair while I slept. I was asleep. He didn’t need to convince me of anything while I slept. He did that on his own.

Despite my love for my sisters, I was desperate for them to leave. I needed some quality with my lying angel, and the evening couldn’t come soon enough.