Chapter 19
“We need to do something about this Caedryn fella,” Gilmar says as he sits back against a log.
It’s nearly midnight, and we’re relaxing after a late evening ride. A few days have passed since I stabbed myself. We successfully carry out our earlier mission once I’m healed, which doesn’t take Kian long to do.
“The visions are coming at worse and worse times,” Gilmar says. “Next time it will come at a cost to one of us.”
“Relax.” Riahn says. “We all have baggage. I didn’t get on you about that pixie that was sweet on you.”
Gilmar turns white.
“Oh, I want to hear about this,” I say. “A pixie?”
“She was a nuisance. Couldn’t get rid of her,” he grumbles.
Westin snorts. “You liked her following you around.”
“I did not!” Gilmar throws a knife, and it sticks in the ground against Westin’s boot.
Westin casually pulls it out as if he didn’t come close to losing a toe.
“She kept cursing all the humans who looked at me,” Gilmar says. “I didn’t bed a woman for two whole years!”
We all burst out laughing.
“How did you get rid of her?” I ask.
Gilmar clears his throat and looks around.
“Come on, tell him,” Kian says.
“I shaved all the hair on my head and gave it to her, including my beard.”
“That’s all she wanted was your hair?” I ask.
“She cast a spell with his hair and a drop of his blood and made a tiny three-inch doppelganger of Gilmar,” Riahn says.
“Pixie’s can do that?” I take a drink from my water skin.
“It has a piece of my soul in it.” Gilmar winces. “I always know when she’s doing stuff with it. Like intimate stuff.”
I choke on my water and spew it all down my shirt. And I thought my three-way bond was rough. I’ve never met a pixie, but I know to stay away from anything with wings and that is less than a foot tall.
Everyone else roars. “You like it,” Riahn says. “I still see you stiffen every now and then and then you run off to be alone.”
“I did not need to know about that.” Tension suddenly clamps down on my heart. My chest burns with fire. I leap to my feet as some sort of thread that holds me bound to Niawen drags my subconscious across the void to her.
This is not one of our usual visions. Evening is just falling in her part of the world, and I’m there with her, just like the time she appeared to me on the boat when she was seasick.
“Niawen? What is it?” She’s frozen on the hillside outside her cottage, looking at her daughter—
And that dreaded mountain cat. The beast is between them, with its focus on Ahnalyn.
No. Caedryn.“Get out of here,” I yell. Why aren’t I seeing through the eyes of the cat? Why aren’t I connected to Caedryn in a way that I can stop him?
Niawen doesn’t answer me. Maybe she can’t see me. “Niawen?” I grab for her hand, but she doesn’t move. My hand feels cold as it passes through her.
Niawen starts glowing, not anything outward that I can tell, but a tiny dot of light builds in her core and creeps into her extremities.
Her light is such a small amount. After all these years, she hasn’t built it back to full strength.
Her light won’t be enough to help her. Not to make a shield, not to use it as a weapon, not to heal her should she become injured. I know this from my time with my team. They carry enough light to make it useful, but not Niawen.
Up on the hill, Ahnalyn is just as still as her mother, her eyes wide with terror.
Where is Owein? Why are they alone?
“Back away, Ahnalyn,” I beg.
She doesn’t move. She can’t hear me. Of course not. Nor can she see me either.
I fumble at my hip for my knife. My hands pass right through the weapon, through me.
Am I not real? What is happening?
And then the animal turns away from Ahnalyn.
As it leaps at Niawen, I catch the depraved look in its eyes.
I dart in front of her, but the cat plows right through me and crashes into Niawen with unparalleled speed—
Just as a blast of light hits them, shooting right through me from behind.
A sickening crunch fills my ears.
The crunch of bones. Her bones. The cat’s bones.
I whirl around to see Ahnalyn’s terrified face.
She used her light. She unleashed an attack.
And I understand. Ahnalyn is untrained. Has no idea of the power within her.
She doesn’t understand what happened—
That her light struck her mother and the cat.
I spin to face Niawen. The beast’s claws hit its mark—that of Niawen’s chest.
The cat is still, now lying beside her.
A pain so fierce stabs me as I fall to my knees beside Niawen. Creator in heaven, what have you done? This thought is for the villain Caedryn. But he doesn’t hear me, doesn’t respond.
Blood froths at Niawen’s mouth, and she gasps for breaths. Ahnalyn stumbles forward and kneels on the other side of Niawen, sobbing, gasping as snot fills her sinuses and tears drip off her chin.
Niawen,I cry. My Niawen.
This can’t be happening!
I try running my ghostly hands through her. Take my light! It’s yours. Take it!
She coughs and spits more blood.
What is this? I paw at her. Niawen.
I ache with all sorts of pain. Shadows of blackness encroach on my vision.
Her light is not enough.
She’s going to die.
It’s time to say goodbye. Somehow I have to say goodbye.
I can’t do this. She can’t even hear me.
For years, I’ve loved you as you loved another man. Your joys were joys, but they were my pain. I kept you as safe as I could, and I watched you through the window of our joined souls. Don’t die, Niawen. Don’t die! Take the light from me. Take the light back! Live!
No matter how much I grunt and strain and paw over her, I cannot return her light. She’s dying.
Just slipping away.
When Niawen holds up her dragon stone, Ahnalyn clutches the stone in her palm and collapses on her mother.
Kenrik.
I startle. Niawen?
You’ve always held a piece of my heart. Your love has kept me strong. I feel you always. Be free now, and know I guard your soul.
A cut so sharp, as if made from a dagger with spines, rips through me.
My subconscious snaps back into my body as Niawen’s breath expires.
I drop to my knees and cradle my head in my hands and rock spastically. “Niawen… Niawen…”
She’s gone.
And she promises to haunt me forever.