Chapter 31
The stars surrounded us as Loch and I made our way across the balcony, around a corner where shadows shrouded us and we were out of view of the ballroom. I pulled Loch into an alcove with a raised stone ledge that I assumed might be for a statue or decoration of some kind. But right now it was empty.
I took him in. He wore a black silk shirt that made his golden skin gleam, the top few buttons undone, showing the faint blue lines on his chest. A black jacket stretched over his broad shoulders and hung down to his waist, grazing his tight-fitting black pants. That sapphire mask matched his eyes, and they sparkled with the familiar mischief I’d missed so much.
I couldn’t believe he was here. He hadn’t left for the shadow court, hadn’t left me. We had to talk about what happened between us, my new name. There was so much to catch him up on. He dragged the mask over his head and set it on the little stone ledge behind me.
I took off my mask as well, unentangling it from my hair and setting it next to his. “I can’t be gone for long. My... parents will be worried that I disappeared.”
“Your parents,” he murmured, rubbing his jaw. “Bloody fucking waters.”
I thought of the last time we’d seen each other, the prince drunk and me running away. “I’m sorry I ran away from you,” I burst out, and then the words began tumbling out, one after the other. Everything that had happened after I left that inn. The cage, seeing the king and queen, finding out I was their daughter. I spoke for what felt like an eternity until all the words left me, and I just stood there, waiting for his response.
He stared, mouth agape.
I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “I tried to see you. But my mother felt it best that I stayed here, in the castle. And I understand her reasoning.”
He was silent for a moment, eyes searching my face, regret pinching his features. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I spent a year trapped in the shadow court. A year unable to go where I wanted, to do what I wanted. It was awful, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.”
Guilt filled his words.
My gaze softened. That’s what he was worried about? That I’d felt trapped again, that I was reliving some trauma by being in that room with him? “It’s okay, Loch. You’re not my gran. You wouldn’t imprison me like that.”
His fists tightened. “Except I did imprison you like that.”
I twirled a strand of hair around my finger. “Well, yes, but it was for one night, and you were trying to keep me safe. It was the smart thing to do, really. Plus, you kept me very entertained.” I rolled my eyes. “My gran certainly never brought me bottles of wine, then spent all day drinking and flirting with me.”
His lips twitched. “Well, I’m glad I don’t remind you of your gran. That might kill the mood a bit.”
Heat pooled in my belly as I gazed up at him. “And what mood is that?”
He lowered his voice. “Are you flirting with me?”
My cheeks flushed, but I didn’t deny it, didn’t break his stare.
He stepped closer and backed me into the stone ledge, my wings unfolding behind me. “I missed you. I was worried I’d never see you again, and then the king and queen appeared and said they’d found the long-lost princess—and I just knew it was you.”
“You missed me?” I asked.
“What, you think I just flirt with anyone like that?”
I gave him a look. “You do flirt with everyone like that.”
“Not since you first appeared in my dreams.” His face grew serious.
He reached out and brushed my cheek with his knuckles. I could scarcely breathe, scarcely believe what he was saying. Desire spread between my legs at his words.
“Loch,” I whispered, his face so close to mine, “thank you for coming for me.”
“I’ll always come for you,” he said. “Haven’t you learned that by now?”
My throat grew thick, and I wasn’t sure what to say in response to that. He’d done so much for me, and I hadn’t given him anything in return. I didn’t deserve him.
His hand fell away at whatever he must’ve seen on my face. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Let’s get you back to the ballroom. We can talk more, figure out what we’re?—”
“No,” I said, desperation taking over all logical thought. I didn’t want to go back to the ballroom, didn’t want to leave this little alcove where it was just me and Loch and the stars.
He stilled.
I grabbed the lapels of his jacket and tugged him to me. “Stay with me just a little longer?”
He studied my face, his eyes dark and glassy. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to seduce me.”
The words sent a thrill through me, and I remembered how it had felt when he’d touched my wings, the desire that coursed through me, same as now. “Maybe I am,” I said, rising to the challenge.
I had no idea what I was doing. I’d never seduced anyone in my life, but Loch had a way of bringing out a side of me I didn’t recognize.
“Good.” His voice dropped low. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
And then his lips were on mine. I clutched his jacket tighter, balling it up in my fists as his mouth moved with my own, teasing it open, tongue slipping inside. He kissed me harder, pushing me into that stone ledge, hands roaming up my wings, fingers dancing along the sinew and bone. I let my head fall back as his hands roamed, gripped, kneaded. I wanted those hands everywhere. He threaded his fingers through my hair, but heat pierced every inch of me where his hands had been, my body now a fire that only he could put out.
“Loch, I need you,” I said, brazen in a way I’d never been before.
My breath hitched as he gripped my waist and hoisted me up onto the stone ledge.
He gazed up at me, pupils blown wide. “Do you know how many times I’ve thought about doing this?” His hands skimmed under my skirt, over my legs, and in between my thighs, until—Oh. I tensed, and he stopped. “Is this okay? We don’t have to do this?—”
I reached down and put my hand over his. “Don’t you dare stop.”
A wicked smile took over his lips, and he tugged down my silk panties until they were stretched between my ankles. Then he was lifting my skirts higher, and his head lowered in between my legs.
“What are you—oh blood and skies.” I moaned as he fastened his mouth over the slick heat between my legs, his tongue sweeping down my slit. He let out his own moan of pleasure, which shot straight to my core.
I’d read about this in books, and the descriptions had always heated my blood, but the reality had me boiling, my entire body lit up in flames as he licked like I was a feast he wanted to devour.
My hands fisted in his hair, body trembling. I was losing all control.
“You taste so damn good,” Loch murmured into me.
His hands gripped my thighs, thumbs kneading into them, sending even more sparks to fan the flames erupting in me. Instinct took over, and every thought fled from my mind as I became a ball of clay under his mouth and hands, ready to be molded into whatever he desired. I arched back, my hips and pelvis rising as he applied a delicious pressure with his mouth. Forget a fire, now I was melting into pure molten liquid under him.
“You really are a man of many talents,” I gasped out.
He chuckled, and the sound rumbled through me. “I will gladly show you my talents. As many times as you’d like.”
I’d always thought this type of situation might be awkward, that I’d be clumsy and have no idea what to do, but my body responded so easily to him. I rocked my hips to match the rhythm of his tongue, which he now moved in quick strokes up and down my center. The tip of it teased my entrance, and I tilted my pelvis, needing more, more, more.
He plunged his tongue inside, and I gasped out loud. “Spirits below.”
His hands gripped my legs tighter and his tongue swept inside me, and then he was licking up and down my center again, deepening the pressure, the stubble of his chin rasping against me.
I rubbed myself against his mouth, a pressure building, mounting to unbelievable heights. I was spinning out of control in the best way.
“Come for me, Poppy,” he said.
I cried out at his use of my name, body unraveling beneath his mouth, thighs clenching tight as my release ripped through me. I’d touched myself over the years, explored my body when Gran was away getting supplies. I’d orgasmed, and it had felt amazing. But this... this was a whole other level.
I trembled, slowly coming back to myself, feeling weak and limp while Loch gently grabbed my panties and slid them back up my legs. I watched, immobile, as he spread my skirts down and straightened them, then gripped my waist and set me down in front of him.
“That was amazing,” I breathed. “When can we do it again?”
He laughed and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose.
“But what about you?” I asked, sliding my hand down to the bulge in his pants.
He shuddered, and I loved knowing I had this effect on him.
“I want to make you feel good too,” I said.
His eyes glittered. “You already have. You don’t need to give me anything in return.”
“I do,” I said, giving the bulge a squeeze that made him moan. “Let me touch you.”
His pupils turned to black orbs at that.
“Taste you,” I whispered.
He stilled, no longer resisting.
A loud bang sounded in the distance as chatter erupted into the silent night. Loch and I sprang apart, and I came back to myself. The balcony coming into stark view outside of our little alcove.
“Blood and skies,” I said, staring at Loch in horror. “We just—you just—I—” My heart pounded. “Here, right outside the ballroom where my parents are sitting.”
Loch laughed as the chatter continued, female voices gossiping about some affair one of their friends was having. “I kind of liked it,” he said, voice low.
My breath hitched. “Oh?”
He stepped closer and drew me into his arms. “I liked creating this little world for us out here, making you forget your troubles, your worries. I liked making you come apart with my tongue, erasing every thought from your mind. Except me. Knowing that I can do this to you anywhere.”
I stood there, speechless. The chatter growing quiet again as the group retreated back inside. “Well, I’d say you accomplished all of that. And more,” I finally said.
The door banged open again.
“Princess Arabella, are you out here?”
I jumped at the voice.
“Erasmus,” I whispered to Loch. “My mother’s captain of the guard.”
He growled, and I put a hand over his mouth.
“Yes, yes, I am,” I called. “I just needed some air. I’ll be in shortly!”
“I’ll wait for you. Your parents were worried when you disappeared.”
“No, really, that’s not necessary.” Panic seized me. “I need a moment for myself, and then I promise I’ll be inside.”
Erasmus grunted, which I took as confirmation he’d heard me, and then the door clicked closed as he went back in. Relief washed through me. If he’d caught me with Loch, that would have blown the prince’s cover and raised far too many questions.
I turned to the prince, laughter spilling out as I covered my mouth. He shot me a wolfish grin that melted my heart.
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he whispered. “And we’ll figure out how to get you out of here.”
The laughter died on my lips. “Out of here?” I asked.
He gestured. “So we can go to the shadow court like we’d planned. Find your gran.”
Of course that’s what he’d expect. That had been the plan. I grabbed my mask, wringing it tight, hesitating before saying my next words. “Loch, I don’t want to leave.”
His brows pinched together. “What are you talking about?”
I spread my arms wide. “I just found my parents. I know who I am now. I have a duty to them.”
I thought of my mother, all her hopes and dreams for me, how badly it would hurt her if I left.
“What about your duty to yourself?” he asked. “You still don’t know who your gran is. Why she took you. As long as she’s still out there, as long as the shadow king is involved, you’re not safe.”
The challenge in his words surprised me. Tension tightened his shoulders and his expression in a way I wasn’t used to.
“He’s not going to take me.” A defensiveness rose up in me. “I’m a princess. He wouldn’t want that kind of conflict, surely.”
Loch’s temple pulsed. “You have no idea what he wants.”
“And you do?” I shot back, anger flaring at his words. At the audacity to tell me that I had to leave the home I’d just found and go with him. Like he knew better than me.
“You realize you’re just as trapped here as you were in that tower.” He gestured to the gleaming castle. “It’s just a nicer prison.”
I stepped back like he’d slapped me. “I’m not trapped. I’m a princess, and I owe it to my parents to act like one.”
Pity shone in his eyes, and I hated it. “You don’t owe anyone, not a damn thing. Why don’t you get that?”
“Stop.” My voice shook. “Just stop it. I don’t want to leave here, and you need to respect that.”
The truth was I didn’t know what I wanted, but the thought of leaving this safe haven I’d just found made all my bones twist into knots.
The anger ebbed from Loch’s face, and he slowly unclenched his fists, inhaling a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight. I’m not trying to upset you. It’s just—you just freed yourself, and now you’re retreating again.”
“Go to my room,” I said, voice low. “Wait for me there, and we can talk about this more.” I didn’t want to disappoint him, didn’t want to say goodbye like this, not after everything he’d done for me. “It’s down the hallway from the ballroom, silver double doors on your right that you can’t miss.”
He was silent, too silent. “Okay, then,” he said after a beat. “I’ll go, and we can talk more when you’re ready.”
I nodded, hating this tension between us. Loch opened his mouth, then hesitated and closed it as he gave me one last backward glance before slipping away and around the corner. Once he disappeared I sank against the ledge he’d just had me pressed up against. A stone settled in my stomach, something telling me that whatever was building between us had just been broken, and I didn’t know if there would be any way to fix it.