Chapter 50
The shadows swirled around us, a storm of mist and fury. I tugged at Gran, Loch already on his feet.
“We have to run,” I said. “I have enough magic left to create a diversion, and then we’ll make a break for it.”
The rain had stopped, the ground under our feet marshy, our boots sinking into it. The forest provided a break from the wind, but even so, it was impossibly cold with my clothes soaked through, hair dripping wet.
Gran resisted, staying seated. “No,” she said simply.
“Gran,” I started, but she held up a hand.
“As long as I’m alive, you will be in danger simply for being associated with me.”
Despite everything that had happened between us, despite all her secrets and lies and the horrible things she’d done, I couldn’t accept that answer.
A shadow lunged for Gran, and Loch jumped in front of her, slashing his sword through it. He hunched over with the effort, gasping for air.
Gran snapped her fingers. “Focus, girl.”
Loch, barely able to stand, slashed at the shadows that surged forward.
“The shadow king will take you because he thinks you can help him get me back. He’ll stop searching for you if I’m gone, and you’ll be safe. This is what I should’ve done from the beginning.” Gran winced as she gripped her shadow, peeling it from the ground. She screamed as she ripped it away from herself, the sound like a piece of parchment being torn in half.
I stumbled back, horror filling me. I still had so many questions, still had so much to say. I hadn’t even asked her how she managed to escape from Spirit Shadow, but there was no time left.
“You can’t do this,” I said, heart wrenching.
A stone mask slipped over her face. “I can and I will.”
Loch continued to swing his sword at the swarm of shadows, his movements becoming choppier, clumsier. He stumbled but managed to right himself. Gran gripped her fist tight, her shadow beginning to unravel like a thread being pulled loose from a rug. She fell to her knees, entire body shaking. The shadow continued to unravel, her fist squeezed tight, features pinched in concentration.
“What are you doing?” I yelled, reaching for her.
“Snuffing . . . out . . . my shadow.”
Loch dropped his sword and stumbled to my side, grasping my arm. His normally golden skin was so pale, his eyes tired and bereft of their normal brightness.
Fear washed over Gran’s brown eyes as the shadows reached for her, her own shadow almost completely gone now. I scrambled to her as she fell to her back. The shadows hovered over her as if they sensed she was almost gone, would be of no use to their master now.
My tears fell fast and hard. I gathered her in my arms, her shadow almost completely faded, only the shoulders up remaining. She stared at me with glassy eyes.
“Sing for me, girl, hm? A nice song.”
Just like I always did when she was sick or not feeling well. I wanted to tell her no, that this wasn’t the end, but there was no point denying it now, and I could give her this one last comfort. Do this one last thing for her. I nodded, and my voice trembled as I started to sing.
“Hush, my dear
Let the fear
Fade and ebb away
Sweet little dear
Know that I’m here
Night and day”
Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, her fist unfurling slightly, her shadow now with only the top of its head remaining.
“I love you, girl. Remember that... lightning never strikes in the same place twice.”
I couldn’t even parse out what that meant as her eyes closed, and then she was gone.
“Goodbye, Gran,” I said, pawing at my tears, but I didn’t have time to mourn, not when Loch’s shadow was still so close.
All the shadows lurked near the trees, unsure if they should take Gran or not.
“Let’s get your shadow back, Loch.” I came to a stand, pushing the grief aside for enough time to get Loch’s shadow back. Then I’d allow myself to wallow, to scream, to do whatever I needed.
I glanced behind me when Loch didn’t respond.
My stomach dropped when I saw his form crumpled on the ground right by us.
I ran back to him, dropping at his side. “Loch!” I rolled him over onto his back. “No. No, no, no.”
I’d lost my mother. I’d lost Gran. I would not lose him too.
His chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. I ripped open his shirt, the blue lines touching right where his heart beat. They slowly began to spread from his heart, an inky web creeping up to his face, down his stomach, to his arms. The blue lines stretched out, mottled and twisted to every part of his body. I stared in horror.
“Blood and skies.”
I had to get his shadow back. Now.
I jumped to my feet as the shadows began to fly away, deciding they were no longer interested in us now that Gran was gone. My wings flapped behind me, and I rose into the air, flying fast and hard, blocking the shadows as they tried to escape.
“You’re not going anywhere,” I said to Loch’s shadow.
The shadows must’ve decided I was a threat because they lunged and gripped me tight. Their wispy bodies slithered around me and curled like a rope, holding my arms to my sides, keeping me immobile. This might’ve been a bad plan. I had no idea how I could fight back, what I could do against this onslaught. The shadows felt like ice against my skin, so cold they burned. I shivered, struggling against their hold, but each time I struggled, they only tightened their forms around me.
Loch’s shadow swam around my legs. Meanwhile he had gone completely still on the ground.
Spirits below, he couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t be. Loch’s shadow let out an inhuman sound that split the air. It flew up from my boots and to my neck, wrapping around it. I choked, unable to even clutch at my throat, hands and arms still stuck at my sides.
Above the gray clouds parted just slightly, allowing a small sliver of light through. It wasn’t enough to infiltrate the forest, not this deep in. Not unless I could somehow move the trees to let the sun in.
This was it, then. After everything, this would be my end. The information about the shadow king would never go beyond this forest. It wasn’t just our lives at stake—it was everyone’s. And we’d failed.
Suddenly, I was so, so tired. A bone-weary exhaustion that sank deep into me and wouldn’t let go. I was tired of feeling weak. I was tired of feeling grief. I was tired of feeling scared. I was tired of feeling worthless. My gaze flicked to Loch’s. But I wasn’t worthless. I’d never been worthless. I’d just been too stubborn to recognize it. Too scared to trust that I could be enough. Just me.
Black spots dotted my vision as my lungs burned, my body growing weaker and weaker. A light burst into the forest, so bright I had to close my eyes as it seared down.
“We’re back again, bitches,” Driscoll yelled from somewhere nearby.
The shadows’ holds on me loosened, and it was the push I needed to fight.
I screamed, and my wings burst open. The shadows launched backward as I flapped my wings harder and rose in the air. My breathing was ragged and uneven, but I was alive, and that was all that mattered right now. My entire body felt beaten, bruised, and so weak, but I would not give up. Not when so many others kept fighting for me. Not when Loch still had a chance.
Driscoll and Leoni stood there, Driscoll with his hands out, bending the trees to let light into the forest, while Leoni twisted her hands, creating a wall of water that trapped the shadows from leaving.
His gaze flicked to my gran, lifeless on the forest floor. “Is that...?”
“We don’t have time!” I yelled, gaze narrowing in on Loch’s shadow.
“We have to hurry,” Leoni shouted as her arms shook while she maintained the massive wall of water that encircled us like a bubble. Driscoll continued to bend the trees this way and that to allow sunlight in, to force the shadows into the only sliver of darkness left.
I pumped my wings and flew straight toward Loch’s shadow. With nowhere to go, it hissed and shrieked, stretching out its arm and slicing at me. I ignored the pain that seared through me when it swiped at my arm, grabbing onto it as it writhed and squirmed. I held on with all my might, and we slowly sank to the ground. Leoni let the wall of water fall, while Driscoll continued to part the trees and let the sunlight barrel down.
Spirits below, this thing was strong. But of course it was. It was Loch’s shadow.
Leoni ran to where I wrestled on the ground with it. It swiped at my right wing, a pain burning through the tissue that made me cry out.
“What do we do?” I yelled as I rolled over the shadow and pinned it down, muscles quivering, sweat dripping from my face.
Leoni reached into her pocket and pulled out a needle and a thread. “You’ll see,” she said.
“Well, whatever you do,” I panted, “can you do it soon? I’m not sure how much longer I can hold this thing.”
“I agree,” Driscoll yelled. “It’s really not easy keeping these trees parted. They’re very willful today and not happy about me bending them this way and that.”
Leoni ran to Loch’s unconscious form and crouched down. She glanced up at me. “You need to bring his shadow over here. He’s too heavy to move.”
“I’ll need Driscoll’s help,” I yelled back while clamping both legs tight around the shadow’s wriggling form.
“I was afraid you were going to say that,” Driscoll muttered, closing his fists and letting his hold on the trees go.
They snapped back into place, dousing us in the darkness of their shade. The other shadows let out gasps of relief and melted into the forest. Driscoll sprinted to me, grabbing the shadow’s arms as I clambered off it and grabbed its legs. The shadow bucked, hissing and shrieking, trying desperately to escape. We held on tight and carried it over to where Leoni and Loch waited.
“Line its feet up with Loch’s,” Leoni instructed.
I grunted as we pressed the shadow’s feet against Loch’s boots, and Leoni got to work while Driscoll and I held the shadow down.
“Just a little longer,” Leoni said, sewing the shadow’s feet to Loch’s boots.
I stared, fascinated. What an odd way to reconnect a shadow with its human. Gran had just pressed her shadow’s feet to her own, but maybe someone without shadow magic needed extra measures. I’d ask about it later when Loch was safe.
Finally, she was done. The shadow pulled and pulled and screeched, but it couldn’t get loose. I rolled Loch from his side onto his back, cupping his face with my hand. The blue lines began shriveling away, shrinking down from his face, his chest, his stomach, until they were finally gone. Like they’d never been there at all.
His eyes stayed closed, and his chest—it didn’t move.
“Why isn’t he waking?” I shot a frantic look to Leoni and Driscoll, both of them staring with horror. “Why isn’t it working? We got his shadow back.”
Leoni’s eyes welled with tears. “I failed him. I failed my court.”
“No,” I said. “No. You can’t give up. We can’t give up.”
Leoni pushed herself to her feet and walked to Loch, then pressed two fingers into his neck. She swallowed. “No pulse.”
“No,” I said fiercely. “We have to do something.”
I banged on Loch’s chest. “C’mon, fight. Fight for your life.”
Fight for me.
Tears streamed down Driscoll’s face, and Leoni sank to her knees, staring at Loch’s lifeless form in shock.
I brushed back the curls stuck to his forehead. This couldn’t be his end. Our end.
I pressed my lips to his and let out a ragged scream, my fists pounding into his chest. Sorrow filled me at the injustice of it all. That someone as good and kind and wonderful as Loch would ultimately die in this way: to protect me. He’d thought I was worth dying for. He’d thought I was everything. He’d come for me again and again. He’d allowed me to be myself in a way I never had. He’d believed in me so fiercely, even when I didn’t believe in myself. I was his everything, and he was mine. If he died, I wasn’t sure I’d recover.
That sorrow slowly turned to something more powerful that churned in my gut and flared to life inside of me. Heat flickered along my skin, dancing down to my hands that I banged into Loch’s chest once again.
“Poppy, what is that?” Driscoll asked through tears.
I slowly lifted my head and looked down at the sparks of lightning that shot to Loch’s chest through my fingers. His whole body convulsed, bucking and lifting from the ground. I scrambled back, staring at my hands and then at Loch’s chest. Spirits below, I’d probably almost set him on fire.
Suddenly, Loch gasped, one deep breath, sucking in a lungful of air as his chest rose up in a sharp motion. Driscoll’s and Leoni’s mouths dropped open, while I just sat frozen, unable to even breathe as I dared hope that maybe, just maybe, this hadn’t been his end after all.
Loch’s eyes flew open and he shot up, clutching at his chest, gasping for air. A cry escaped my mouth as I draped myself over him.
“You’re alive. You’re alive.” I repeated it over and over, pressing kisses to his cheeks, his hair, his forehead.
“Bloody fucking earth,” Driscoll said. “I think you brought him back.”
I separated myself from Loch, but he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back to him. “What?” I asked Driscoll. “How is that possible?”
“Your lightning,” Driscoll said. “It, like, did something to his heart.”
“I think you made it start beating again,” Leoni said in awe.
I turned wide eyes on Loch, who, even in his weak, dazed form, was able to summon a grin. “Always saving me when I’m trying to save you,” he said. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”
I cupped his face with my hands. “No, Prince. This time, I think we saved each other.”