Trapped (Killers Inc. #4)

Chapter One

Night air brushed past him from Ridge’s spot on the roof.

With his eye to a scope, he watched Shadow move in perfection.

Blood flew in a flawlessly planned arch.

He heard every sound through his earpiece.

Shadow wasn’t even breathing hard. His quick movements were from years of practice.

Just another job for the entire team. Still, Ridge watched and waited.

All through the mostly silent ride home, Ridge’s gaze never budged from Shadow. He knew Shadow was fully aware of Ridge’s eyes on him. A few times, they met each other’s stare. Shadow always looked away first. He knew why Ridge watched.

They went through the usual decontamination process before heading their separate ways to their bedrooms. Since Ridge’s room was just beyond Shadow’s, he hung back but never lost sight of him.

When Shadow closed himself inside his room, Ridge moved to the door and sat to wait.

No doubt, Shadow knew he was there. They always played this game.

One day, Ridge would stop. The love in him would die.

Not because he couldn’t love unrequited any longer, but because Shadow killed it.

These nights were always fifty-fifty. Either Ridge would be the one who comforted Shadow or Zeus would show up, and Ridge would wither a little more inside. When the light went out and the bed creaked with no Zeus in sight, Ridge drew a steadying breath. His place wouldn’t be taken tonight.

The moment the first mumbles began, Ridge stood.

He slipped into the room and beneath the covers.

Shadow muttered angrily in Russian, going over long forgotten orders from their captors.

They were children bred for one purpose—to spy for the Russian government.

That meant training to fit into any situation and killing anyone they had to kill.

Shadow was one of the best, but it came at a high price to his mental health.

Except he was the steady one, and so no one noticed that about him.

He hid it so fucking well. One of their ground snipers, Field, was the only person on the team Shadow let see him when he was weak.

Ridge stole these moments like a thief. His pride had disappeared too long ago to recall.

Maybe he had never possessed any to begin with.

When Shadow’s words turned angrier and more agitated, Ridge tugged him into his arms.

Shadow reacted the way he always did. He rolled, pinning Ridge to the bed. A knife appeared in his hand and pressed against Ridge’s throat. “Who are you? Who sent you?”

“It’s Ridge, sweetie. You need to get some rest.”

He felt Shadow’s muscles relax. A secret wave of disappointment washed over him. In his deepest secrets, he wanted Shadow to slit his throat. End this. As always, that was not what happened.

“Ridge?” The knife disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “I know that name.” Every word he spoke was in Russian. He was still trapped in his dreams. “How do you know him?”

“I am him.”

Shadow caressed his face. “No. He hates me. He wouldn’t come here.”

“Where is here?” Ridge whispered the question. He truly wanted to know where Shadow went in these dreams.

“Someplace I would never want him to see.” Shadow whispered the answer back, as if afraid he would be overheard.

“Why? He doesn’t hate you. He wants to help.”

Shadow stroked his face again. “That’s a sweet sentiment. You smell like him.”

Ridge’s chest squeezed. “That’s because I’m him.” He kept his voice quiet. Ridge couldn’t break this spell. This was all he got of the other half of his heart.

“Prove it.”

“Just tell me how.”

Shadow moved in closer. “Kiss me. He might hate me, but he’s the only person who kisses me like he loves me.”

“That’s because I do.”

He heard Shadow swallow. “You have no idea how much I wish that was true. It’s okay if you want to pretend.”

This was why he stayed trapped in this hell and kept coming back for more. No one knew how he ached for these stolen moments that weren’t even real. “I don’t want to pretend. I want it to be real.”

The air in the room changed.

Ridge knew he wouldn’t learn anything else.

“Ridge?” The Russian accent was practically gone.

“Yeah. It’s me, sweetie. You were having a nightmare again.”

“Oh. Sorry.” He obviously still wasn’t completely awake. Shadow settled down in his arms, draped over his body like a blanket. He used Ridge’s chest as a pillow. “You’ve always been the most comfortable solid rock.”

Ridge shook with silent laughter. He was easily twice the size of Shadow. “My doll. I can carry you around on my hip.”

“Sounds nice.” Shadow was definitely more asleep than awake. His words were slurred and barely audible.

Ridge kissed the top of his head. “Go to sleep, beautiful. I have you.” He always would and it was fucking killing him.

Shadow always pretended to be asleep each time Ridge slipped from the bed.

Then he moved into the spot where he had lain and savored the wisps of his scent on the sheets.

They were both so fucked up. At least Shadow was self-aware.

One of these days, Ridge would find someone worthy of him.

Shadow would continue on in silent agony.

It was like they had this pact they didn’t speak about.

Shadow checked the clock. It was one a.m. He had plenty of time.

After crawling from the bed, he found the clothes he needed and quickly dressed.

He sneaked from the room. Since he was a shadow, it was easy.

No one ever saw him unless he let them. Once he made it to the garage, he was home free.

He jumped into his black MX-5 and was gone.

The roads were deader than usual. Most sane people were sleeping.

No one had ever accused Shadow of being anything less than unhinged.

The tightness in his chest wound tighter as Club Affinity came into view.

Really, only the upper foyer was visible.

The no-holds-barred sex club was underground.

Acts so nasty it would make a heathen clutch their pearls took place right beneath him.

Zeus had designed the place to be invisible to any prying eyes.

It seemed he had visited a club in Vegas with the same setup and mimicked it.

Shadow didn’t know why he always came back.

That wasn’t true. Affinity had one thing he needed: Master Zeus.

Everyone fought to have him. He was a six-foot-six biker Adonis with blond hair and steely gray eyes so light, they penetrated the soul.

What no one knew except Shadow was Zeus was also a deprogrammer of former spies.

Shadow didn’t need to be deprogrammed. He needed everything else Zeus had to offer.

Shadow parked as close as possible to the door. The night air slapped him in the face as he stepped from the car. It never got incredibly cold here, but there was no doubt winter had arrived. Shadow could take it. Russia had been damn cold.

He nodded at the bouncer posted outside. Shadow knew his name, but couldn’t recall it. He would make sure he remembered next time. This time around, he was too tired to think clearly. The guy opened the door for Shadow, welcoming him inside. “Have a good time, Mr. Agafonov.”

Shadow flashed him a smile and headed in.

There were probably people out there who would be ashamed to hear those words.

No one inside this club, though. He was only halfway down the stairs before the distinct sounds of sexual pleasure caressed his ears.

Shadow had a destination in mind as he reached the long hallway at the bottom.

He didn’t look right or left as he made his way down the hall.

Each room he passed had a different kink on display.

Shadow would know. He had been there too.

His goal was the doorway at the end of the hall.

He pushed, and the sound of loud music poured out.

Fog filled the air from fog machines. Different-colored lights bounced in every direction, making everything look slightly psychedelic.

Bodies filled the dance floor, grinding against each other.

A girl was getting eaten out in the corner while people watched. Typical night at Club Affinity.

Shadow’s gaze slid around the room. Zeus was taller than everyone else.

Shadow’s throat swelled. Where was he? It was very possible Zeus was in one of the many rooms he passed.

Shadow couldn’t entertain that right now.

He had killed too many people tonight. His chest hurt too badly from the invisible weight that never lifted.

Fingers encircled his throat. A hard body pressed against his back. He knew it was Zeus simply by the way he felt hovered over—like a tiny mouse in the clutches of a cat.

“You didn’t make an appointment.”

Shadow’s heartbeat already thumped in his ears. “Do I need one?”

Zeus kissed the shell of his ear. His hot breath had chill bumps dancing on Shadow’s skin. “You? Never. But you do have a tendency to assume I’m free.”

Irritation stirred inside Shadow. He didn’t need this shit. Shadow could go back to his cold bed. He would survive. Shadow took a step away. The hold on his throat tightened.

“Nu-uh. You’re in my grasp now.”

A soft laugh that sounded evil even to his ears left Shadow’s lips. “Don’t ever assume you’re in control of me.”

Firm, warm, and full lips touched his neck. “Stay. Dance with me.”

Shadow squeezed his eyes closed. A fresh wave of self-hatred washed over him.

There was no reason to go home. He turned, but Shadow didn’t meet Zeus’ stare.

Shadow kept his face turned away as he stepped into Zeus’ hold.

He didn’t want to look into the eyes of someone else he would never have.

Sometimes, Shadow wondered if he was the only real thing in a world full of fake people.

But when Zeus’ warm body engulfed him, Shadow could close his eyes and dream he was… He locked down his mind.

“So, you couldn’t sleep again, huh?”

“It’s getting worse.” Shadow didn’t admit weaknesses to many people.

Zeus was just one of those people. Shadow didn’t have to worry about Zeus’s feelings.

The guy had none. He was the type of sexy that made the entire world his playground.

Shadow didn’t matter to him. He could say anything. Likely, Zeus wasn’t even listening.

“Come on.” Zeus swept Shadow from his feet and headed for the back door. Envious eyes followed every step. The back door led into another hallway. The office was the door on the right. Zeus’ apartment was on the left. He turned left.

Zeus barely had to shift Shadow to use his fingerprint to get inside.

The lights were out. Zeus didn’t bother turning them on as he strode through the living room.

Shadow had been there enough times to know exactly how the place looked.

Not a single item was out of place anywhere except in the bedroom.

Zeus set him on the edge of his bed. The entire place smelled like his cologne.

Shadow wanted to be a bitch and demand Zeus change the sheets, except he knew Zeus.

Zeus didn’t bring people here. The last thing he wanted was anyone knowing where he lived.

He was too in demand. People might do anything to get his attention.

Shadow only had it because Zeus knew Shadow didn’t really want him. That novelty kept Zeus’ attention.””

Zeus took off Shadow’s shoes. He peeled off his shirt and took off his boots.

Shadow took the hint. He scooted beneath the covers, leaving room for Zeus to join him. Zeus crawled into the spot next to him and hauled Shadow into his arms. This time, when Shadow closed his eyes in the warmth of familiar arms, it took five seconds. He was out.