24. Understood
Those words might as well have been daggers. They stabbed right through me.
"What?" I stared at her.
"The strength of the magic between these two portals is limited," Mama said, her gaze fixed on me. "This one can only take one person. Maybe you could carry the otter through. But it isn't strong enough for two people to be transported safely."
Corvin sat at the bottom of the staircase, shaking his head. He opened his mouth to speak when a heavy thud battered the doors.
They were here.
No!
My gaze locked with Corvin's, sadness and resignation filling his now-dull eyes. But the slightest of smiles tugged at his mouth. "I'll hold them off, clever girl. They're coming for me anyway. Let them have my blood and let me know you have survived. Just take Tagger and go."
Tagger squeaked with alarm. He raced down the stairs to Corvin. Putting his paws on Corvin's chest, he chuffed and nipped at him.
I agreed wholeheartedly. "No! I have given up so much that I have wanted, and I won't give up you."
Mama's voice came from the portal, shaky not just from magic but emotion. "Sweetheart, he can open another portal and get through that."
Except he couldn't. He was barely holding himself up on the stairs. His breaths came in ragged pants, his left hand wrapped around his right wrist as if he could somehow hold off that last injection of poison. Should I send him through this one and figure out another way? No. Even if he got onto the island, it would still be close enough to the King of the North Sea that his power would remain, and the island staircase portal wouldn't be strong enough to allow us to escape elsewhere for who knew how long?
We needed a portal staircase somewhere farther away. Somewhere we could both go.
The doors shook again. The attackers on the other side cursed and swore, their voices muffled but irate. The stones grated on the floor, the heavy rubble holding it shut. But it wouldn't last. They'd be through in minutes.
"Philomena!" Mama's voice cut through the air. "Be reasonable, sweetheart. You cannot delay any further. Get yourself through this portal right now. I've already lost Erryn. I won't lose you too. Let him have the pages in the book and he can find his own way through another."
"No." I swallowed hard as I turned back to Mama. "No, I will not leave him. Can you tell me another portal staircase we can reach from here?"
Mama's lips pressed into a tight line. She gave me that look. That look that told me she expected me to listen.
I didn't care.
I'd backed down on so much to make her happy. I'd given up everything to find Erryn and to take care of Mama. But no more. Maybe dreams were only going to lead to disappointment, but I was finally going to ask for what I wanted for me.
"Mena," Corvin whispered, laying down on the stone. "Just go."
No.
No!
"If you hurry up and come through, he'll have the time to make it to another portal," Mama said in her most soothing and persuasive voice. "Please. Please hurry, sweetheart."
My face hot, I turned to face Mama. "Mama, I love you, but I won't leave him. I have given up everything else I cared about. I haven't even tried to have a life. I don't even know how much of a life I'm going to have left, but I won't give him up."
Everything faded as we stared into each other's eyes. I wanted to say so much. So many words. And all that came out next was a strangled "please."
It wasn't much. Just a single, shaking syllable.
Tears brimmed in her eyes as she looked right at me. Then she nodded at the book in my hand. "You have my book? Turn to page eighty-one."
Hands trembling, I flipped through. The descriptions and coordinates on this page detailed those of another grounded portal and staircase.
"Draw those symbols on the arch and in the basin as you did for this one. That one should be strong enough." Mama placed her hand at the base of her throat, her voice shaking. "It's at Gryphon's Crossing. We can reach you there, or you can start on the west road and we’ll find a place between."
I nodded, choking. "Thank you. I love you, Mama. Your research—it's impressive." There was so much more I wanted to say.
The doors shuddered.
"That portal is one of the strongest ones," Mama said. She covered her mouth. "I love you, sweetheart. I love you, and I'm proud of you." Her hand shaking, she then pressed it over the portal's center, and it faded.
Part of me couldn't believe she'd agreed. That she had given me the answer. And part of me knew why she had.
More heavy thumps and cracks struck the door. We didn't have much time, but I didn't need long.
Corvin continued to struggle up the staircase. He was over halfway there.
"I'm not leaving you behind, I promise," I called down to him. "I'm just going to prepare this."
I picked up the reagents from my bag and added them to the basin. Seeds, feathers, and flowers spilled in.
I had enough of everything except—wood.
Where had the other piece gone? Had it fallen out when I dumped the bag?
I scanned the chamber floor, searching desperately for the missing piece of wood. The pounding on the door grew louder, the lock beginning to buckle.
Corvin dragged himself up another step, but he was fading fast. "What's wrong?" he rasped.
"Come on, come on," I muttered, digging through my bag again just in case I had missed it. Still nothing.
My fingertips brushed my broken spoon wrapped in the oil cloth.
My heart twinged as I grabbed it.
It was splintered and jagged, but it was also flammable and dry. Shaking my head, I jammed it into the dying sparks of the previous fire. It smoldered, the smoke curling higher.
The doors shuddered once more. A gap of pale light appeared in a line as the columns rocked. One of the warriors tried to jam his hand through the crack.
I mixed the reagents into the basin. The flames caught. The spoon burned, the wood crackling and popping. I poured in the seeds, the lavender, and everything else. The scents merged in a heady blend. The cuts on my arm had almost stopped bleeding, but I scratched at them to let the blood trickle into the basin.
"Just hang on, Corvin," I said, my voice shaking. I referred back to the book as I traced the symbols onto the beams and the arch. The portal started to light up.
The doors thudded again. The pounding echoed through the chamber.
With a strangled cry, Corvin spasmed on the staircase. The final claw had embedded in his wrist.
"Corvin!" I screamed.
Tagger screeched with me. His high-pitched squeaks filled the air. He circled and pounced on Corvin, his little paws striking his chest and face.
Corvin didn't move.