Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
“ G et out.” Nicholas’s voice was hoarse with dehydration.
The door slamming shut had woken him up, and his eyes landed on Lucien.
The jug next to him was still full of water, the glass still placed on the neatly folded napkin Edwina had set it on.
Lucien ignored him as he strode to the curtains and drew them open.
Sunlight poured into the room, and Nicholas groaned. “I will not ask again.”
Lucien only turned to him and pulled up a chair to his bedside.
Nicholas’s face was deathly white. Dark circles shadowed his heavy eyes, and his breathing was labored, but at least he was breathing. He coughed, the sound deep and rough.
“What is this, then?” he sneered. “First you went after my sister, and now you are after me?”
Lucien only cocked his head at him. “Where is the man I met in Cambridge? This bitter man before me… I do not know him. And perhaps if you had let me know him, I could have helped.”
“I do not need your help. That is why. The man you knew went into a battlefield thinking he would come out unscathed—rather foolishly so. But is this not every soldier’s ignorance? They think they will be the ones untouched?”
“War touches everybody,” Lucien answered curtly. “And you may tell yourself that you do not need help, but your sister certainly does. Your staff needs the help. Your reputation, also.”
“So you are here to gloat about your power and how you have fixed everything.”
“You and I both know that there is no easy fix to addiction,” Lucien sighed. “We saw enough destruction from opium when we were younger, no?”
Nicholas glared at him. “I pitied those fools. Now, I am one of them.”
“Your pride stops you from getting help, stops you from seeing that you need help?—”
“Do not tell me what I need,” Nicholas snapped.
“Nicholas, your sister watched you collapse in the parlor. Will you have her watch you die?”
The Earl fell silent, and Lucien realized that he had gotten through to him, at least in a small way.
“I am here to tell you news of my engagement.”
Nicholas barked a laugh. “I think we are far past me being your best man,” he said drily. “Who is the unfortunate lady who will be shackled to an uptight bastard like you? What lady will you make miserable for the rest of her life?”
Lucien swallowed back the insults. “Edwina.”
There was a beat of silence, and he watched the rage spreading across Nicholas’s face. He tensed up, ready for blows.
Nicholas breathed heavily, staring at him, his gaze becoming more and more unhinged.
And then he erupted.
He lunged for Lucien, a shout of pure fury tearing from his throat. He reached for Lucien’s throat, but his body was not strong enough. He immediately crumpled, his upper body failing him and drooping. His arms went limp, dropping to the bed. He cursed, tears welling up in his eyes as he glared up at Lucien.
“ Why ?” he growled. “Why my sister, of all women you could have? Why must you insist on remaining in my life?”
“Because Edwina?—”
“Do not speak her name so informally,” Nicholas snapped.
“She is to be my Duchess, and she has granted me permission to use her Christian name,” Lucien shot back. “She is more than capable of making her own decisions, Nicholas, and she has accepted my proposal, for she understands that it is for the best.”
“What do you mean?” Nicholas’s voice was a rough growl as he lay back against the cushions.
Weakly, he reached for the jug, but his arms could not hold it up. Water sloshed over the sides, and he cursed again. Lucien was quick to lean over and pour him a glass. He offered it to Nicholas, who only glowered at him.
“I do not want?—”
“Do not be childish,” Lucien grunted. “Drink the water, Nicholas.”
Reluctantly, the Earl did. He gulped it down before he sighed as if the water was the best thing he had tasted in a while.
“You will listen to me while I explain,” Lucien continued, relaxing back in his chair. “I am not doing this to hold power over your head or flaunt anything. I am doing this because your family has no option, thanks to you. You have fallen into a severe addiction, and I do not think you understand the repercussions of your actions on Edwina.
“I wish to help you, whether you like it or not, for I cannot know about this problem and leave you to it. I will not hear of you dying in a puddle somewhere on the darker streets of London, chasing your next fix. You were once my closest friend. I will not sit idly by while you drive yourself and your family name to ruin.
“I am going to set you up in the countryside. You will be in a comfortable estate where you will be rehabilitated with proper medical care. You will have utter discretion and privacy, for I will handle everything regarding your reputation. Meanwhile, Edwina would be left alone, which is why I suggested our engagement. Do you wish her to be without her brother, without financial stability? This way, we can visit you regularly, and she can check on your progress.”
“And if I refuse this country rehabilitation?”
“Then you and Edwina will be destitute within months, if not sooner. Lord Stockton had already tried to use her to get repaid, and he is by far one of the tamer lords. Who else will you let harm Edwina?”
At that, Nicholas flinched. It was the most sober he had looked since Lucien had arrived at Montgomery Manor. His shoulders curved inward.
“Has she agreed to marry you for my sake?” he asked, his voice calmer and quieter than it had been in a long time.
Lucien nodded. “She knows that this is the best way to ensure that you are safe and cared for, and that you are not destroyed in every sense of the word.”
“Heavens.” Nicholas made a tortured noise as he rubbed his hand over his face and hair, oily after days of rest and nights of seeking highs. “I have done horribly as a brother, have I not?”
Lucien’s lips pressed into a firm line. “You have endured things not many men can, and you have made mistakes. But you can change, Nicholas. For her, for yourself, you can change and do better by her. It is not too late. You are too weak to fight me, so why would you hesitate to agree?”
“What if…” Nicholas paused, biting his lip. “What if I am not ready to get better?”
“You likely are not,” Lucien allowed. “But your sister depends on it, whether you are ready or not.”
He took the glass from Nicholas, who shed a single tear and stared at the bedspread and his own hands as though he could see the extent of his destruction. He heaved a breath before nodding.
“I confess I am still angry, but I no longer have the energy to be,” he muttered. “I feel betrayed and played, but you are right. It is for the best.” His voice was small. “I am not ready. I am not at all ready, and I am scared at the thought of going days without—without opium. But I can try.”
He had forced out the word, as though he was not used to confessing such things aloud.
Lucien nodded. “Spend time with Edwina,” he advised. “She will want to visit you, but these will be your last few days with her in your family home. For her sake, do not spend those days on the streets of London for one last high.”
Nicholas nodded, guilt flooding his gaze as if that was exactly what he had intended to do. One last terrible hurrah before he began his recovery.
Lucien stood up, but Nicholas reached out to him. “What of our friendship?” he asked, his voice low.
Lucien only looked down at him. “I am sure that will be addressed in time. For now, focus on your recovery.”
“He has still not come downstairs,” Edwina murmured to herself, alone in the library.
She had returned her poetry book to its rightful place and had chosen another book to try and lose her thoughts in.
This time, it was a fiction novel where the heroine was a well-to-do lady who meddled in the love lives of others and became something of a matchmaker, forsaking her family’s support. Yet, Edwina’s thoughts couldn’t remain on the book properly, not when she had not seen her brother since Lucien had gone into his room.
Lucien himself had left, as per Isabel’s request before dinner, and with just Edwina and her aunt at the table, it had been a very quiet, almost awkward dinner.
There was nobody to fill the silence with, and Edwina only dutifully answered questions that her aunt posed. By now, she had finally convinced her aunt that she was not marrying to right a wrong—that wrong being the loss of her virtue.
Still, she had thought that Nicholas would come downstairs to speak with her. Did he feel so betrayed that he would not even look at her? Could he not stand to be in the same room with her so badly?
Then, her heart beat faster. The last time he had learned about Lucien being around her, he had broken the window and disappeared for hours.
Putting her worries aside, Edwina hurried to his room. Without the Duke in the house, everything felt eerie. Fresh but eerie, as if the life within Montgomery Manor had vanished with each loss, including that of her brother’s sobriety.
Knocking on her brother’s bedroom door, Edwina did not wait for him to bid her to enter. She pushed open the door and found her brother being dressed by his valet, leaning heavily on the back of a chair against his dresser.
“Thank you, Roland,” Nicholas said. “That will be all.”
Roland bowed out of the room, and Edwina took another step towards her brother. Relief flooded her at the sight of him in his room, but it was quickly replaced by worry over how he would speak to her.
What she did not expect was for Nicholas to hold her gaze, and for his expression to crumple as he crossed to her on weak legs.
And she did not expect his arms to come around her, pulling her close.
“Edwina,” he murmured, “my dear sister. Can you ever forgive me?”
Edwina blinked, surprised by the unexpected apology.
“Nicholas,” she whispered. “You are not cross with me?”
“Oh, quite,” he muttered into her shoulder. “But I am mostly cross with myself. Lucien told me several truths that I did not wish to hear but I needed to.”
He pulled back, holding her hands the way he used to do when she had been nervous about a social event, afraid of their mother’s disapproval.
“I have not considered how my… problems have affected your life, Sister. And I cannot apologize for that enough. I am sorry for everything I have put you through and the risks you’ve had to take for me. I… Well, I am struggling to live with myself over such things.”
“They shall soon be fixed,” Edwina assured him. “Do not fret too much, Brother. Lucien spoke to you about our… engagement?”
“He did. And I admit I was quite furious at first, but I am too tired to be angry. I am tired of… everything, admittedly. You are doing for our family what I should have always done—which is everything to secure our financial stability.”
“Everything will be better soon,” she promised, squeezing his hands. “You shall see. It will be all right. You shall settle in the estate, and you shall get better. We can be well again, yes?”
Nicholas nodded at her, his brow furrowed with guilt. “Of course. I am only sorry for the things I have made you endure.”
“Let us speak of it all when you have more strength,” Edwina said, her chest tight with emotion.
Tears blurred her vision as she looked at her brother, feeling closer to him for the first time in a long while. Not everything would be fixed overnight, but they were a step closer.
“Thank you, Brother,” she whispered, pulling him back into another hug. “Thank you for agreeing to the plan, to get better.”
“I am only sorry that I could not do it sooner.”
Edwina let her tears dampen her brother’s shirt, but he did not push her away. There had been so many sneered words and accusations, and she knew that he had a world of other things to say to her, but for now, they could just hug.
She had been craving this closeness for a long time.
“As much as I cannot make amends with Lucien yet, I know that you will be a fine duchess,” Nicholas told her, pulling away. “I was actually dressing to come downstairs and have tea with you. I have missed dinner, but I am rather thirsty, and I am feeling rather cooped up in this room.”
Edwina nodded eagerly. “I am sure Aunt Isabel will want to join?—”
Nicholas winced. “How about we only keep it between us? After all, I will miss you when I am exiled to the countryside, and you to your ducal home.”
Edwina could not help but blush at the thought of her future, and she nodded eagerly. “Of course.”