Chapter 22
Bethany’s final drive from Savannah to Nantucket felt like a revolution. With her car packed with as many belongings as she could stuff inside it and her heart in her throat, she dropped her foot on the pedal and headed north—stopping again in Virginia halfway for a good night’s sleep before proceeding to New England.
That night at the hotel restaurant, she sat with a glass of wine and texted Rod, who announced that Felix was “doing very well” and “wanting to play outside much more than he’s allowed.” Bethany’s heart felt warm.
BETHANY: Make sure he rests! Cover him with plenty of kisses! He’s so brave!
ROD: Can’t wait till you get back. It’s still August. We have plenty of summer left to enjoy.
It wasn’t lost on Bethany that this was around the same time she’d broken up with Rod back in 1997. It was as though, in returning to him now, they were able to relive that summer again. They could take it all back.
“You’ve been here a lot recently,” the bartender at the hotel said as he wiped down the counter beside her. “It’s rare that I get a regular at a hotel like this.”
Bethany smiled and set down her phone. The bartender was perhaps her age, with a red bowtie the hotel demanded he wear and one crooked tooth that made him look charming.
“I’ve been in the process of moving my life from Savannah to Nantucket,” she admitted, grateful for the ability to say it aloud. It made it real.
“Wow. Nantucket!” He shook his head. “It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.”
“I was born and raised there. It feels like such a privilege, looking back. And now, I get to raise my children there.”
“How many do you have?”
“Three.”
He smiled. “I have four!”
Bethany laughed. “Ages?”
“Twelve, ten, eight, and four. My wife likes to call that last one a happy accident, but I always, always wanted four kids. I just like the chaos of it all. The fascination they have for the world.”
“I’m one of four, too,” Bethany said. “It was always a blast.”
Until it wasn’t, she thought.
“Are you still friendly with your siblings?” the bartender asked.
Bethany kept her smile up. “My older sister, Rebecca, just moved back to Nantucket, too. We’re becoming closer than ever, and her kids have really taken to my kids even though they’re quite a bit older. It’s been a dream.”
Valerie remained out in California. They hadn’t heard from her much as of late, and it felt like a black hole they were purposely ignoring. Esme, Victor, Bethany, and Rebecca all ached to hear from her soon—to unite their family fully. Maybe there was still time.
“What do you do for work? If you don’t mind me asking,” the bartender asked.
“I’m a surgeon.”
The bartender stopped scrubbing the counter and gave her a bug-eyed look. “A surgeon! Wow. I don’t know if I’ve ever met a female surgeon before. And at this hotel, I meet a lot of people.”
Bethany beamed. “We’re still a rare breed, I’m afraid.”
“A surgeon,” he repeated. “I’m going to tell my daughters about you. They really can be anything when they grow up. Society welcomes change.” He continued to shake his head. “I hope my kids don’t look down on me and my bartending gigs. I’m sure one day they will.”
“No,” Bethany assured him, her voice firm. “One day, they’ll understand that everything you did was for their benefit. That you fought to put food on the table and clothes on their back. And that you cared about them, genuinely, in everything you did.”
Bethany wasn’t sure why she answered him with such ferocious intensity. But his eyes were so large they were apt to swallow her.
“Thank you for saying that,” he said after a pause. “I can’t tell you what that means to me.”
Sometimes, Bethany knew, people just needed to be seen and heard. As the soon-to-be ex-wife of a Waterstone, she knew that more than most.
As the ferry pulled into the Nantucket Harbor, Bethany peered across the water to see her mother, her father, Rebecca, her nieces and nephew, and all three of her children. They waved wildly as the boat grew closer and closer. Phoebe held a large sign over her head, which she’d apparently colored herself with crayons and markers. Bethany could make out the words WELCOME HOME, MOM. It was enough to make her burst into tears.
Bethany pulled her car off the ferry and parked in the lot near her family. She leaped out and wrapped her children in her arms as tears rained down her cheeks. Everyone was speaking at once, asking her how her drive had gone and if she’d remembered “that thing” they’d wanted from home.
“I have everything,” Bethany assured them. “Don’t worry about it.”
She hugged her sister, mother, and father next. In her ear, Victor whispered, “I’m so proud of the doctor you’ve become, honey.”
Bethany had never imagined wanting her father’s approval. Not after what he’d done to their family. But hearing it now, in the chaos of the Nantucket Harbor, she nearly burst into sobs.
“Look who’s here!” Rebecca called as Bethany and Victor’s hug broke.
Bethany turned on her heel to find Rod, Renee, and little Felix in his wheelchair approaching them. Due to the nature of his surgery, Felix was only permitted to walk a few minutes per day. She’d assured them, with physical therapy, he would be back to his feet full-time by autumn.
Seeing Rod thrilled her. She had to stop herself from running toward him with her arms out wide. She had to stop herself from leaping upon him and covering him with kisses. Now that she knew about Nick’s affair and fresh start, she’d begun to ask herself, why not me and Rod, too?
Rod hugged and kissed her on the cheek. His familiar smell filled her nostrils and made her heart ache.
“Welcome home, Bethy,” he breathed. “You were gone too long.”
Renee walked around the Sutton family, introducing herself and Felix. Esme, of course, knew them well, as Renee had brought Felix into the Sutton Book Club children’s corner several times. Felix babbled happily with Esme as Esme bent down to ask him questions about his trip.
“I heard you went to Savannah. You are such an adventurer!” Esme said.
Felix beamed.
Rebecca insisted that everyone come back to the Sutton house for a barbecue. “I hope you haven’t eaten?” she asked Renee. “We bought enough food to feed a small army.”
“We’re always hungry,” Renee assured her. “We can help you out.”
Back at home, Tommy insisted that Bethany sit in the “chair of honor” on the back porch. Rebecca poured her a glass of rosé and passed her a bag of salt-and-vinegar chips, Bethany’s favorite, as most of the kids ran around the yard and along the beach, dipping their toes in the surf. Phoebe had taken control of Felix’s wheelchair off to the side, where they colored pictures and chatted. Although Phoebe had seven years on Felix, she liked nothing more than being artistic and opening her heart to little kids.
Bethany remembered the fear Amanda and Bob had had for Phoebe’s future. “She needs better grades in science if she’s ever going to become a Waterstone doctor.”
The hypocrisy was startling, given the fact that they’d never appreciated Bethany’s medical degree as a woman.
She shook her head, reminding herself it was over and that these ghosts didn’t have to haunt her anymore. That she could let go.
“Something smells good!” a familiar voice called from the back door.
Bethany turned to find Ben wheeling Doug’s chair out onto the porch. Rebecca was behind them, beaming, with her hand on Ben’s shoulder. Love shimmered between them. Bethany wondered if they’d allowed themselves to fully give in yet.
Rebecca needed to listen to her heart. She’d lost her husband only eight months ago, so perhaps she wasn’t ready.
“Make room! Make room!” Esme said, hurrying to move chairs around so Doug’s wheelchair could join the table.
“Don’t fuss over me, Esme,” Doug said with a smile. It was a smile that told you exactly how he’d looked as a younger man when he’d been stationed in Germany with Grandpa Thomas. It was a smile that obliterated decades of time.
Ben headed for the grill with a big bag of chicken. “I seasoned everything up at the Book Club,” he explained to Rebecca. “Should be ready to go.”
“The coals are hot,” Rebecca said, hurrying up beside him to touch his arm. “What can I do to help?”
Beside Bethany, Rod drank a beer and gazed out across the frothing sound. In the late afternoon light, the wrinkles around his eyes looked deeper, more worn. Bethany reached under the table and took his hand. She wanted to claim the time they had left. She didn’t want to wait.
Waiting meant opening yourself up to tragedy. Nothing was a given in this life.
Renee told Esme about how healthy and happy Felix was in the days after the surgery. “For so much of the past few months, he just wasn’t my happy, healthy boy anymore. Now, it’s like Bethany has given him back to me.” She beamed across the table.
Bethany squeezed Rod’s hand harder, listening to Victor’s questions about Felix’s recovery, her mother questioning, “Does anyone need anything?” and Rebecca hollering to the children, telling them to come in for dinner. To get washed up.
Every single sound, every single second, glowed with the promise of summer. Bethany’s heart swelled.