Tricky Girls (Girls of Hazelhurst #1)

30. CHAPTER 30

CHAPTER 30

Tilda

I have half my mind on the TV and another on Haz and Nic donning shoes on their way out the door.

‘Don’t fuck this,’ Elly warns beside me, drawing my attention back to the game I’m playing.

From the corner of my eye, I watch Haz lean against the kitchen table, Nic pulling on her peacoat behind her. ‘You should play a real game,’ Haz says. ‘Expand your damn minds.’

Elly huffs. ‘Give over, mate. This is your game.’

‘What is it you’re playing again?’ I ask, briefly flicking my gaze to them.

‘D&D,’ Nic responds, voice as cold as the Arctic Ocean. I’m surprised she answered at all—had to be obvious I wasn’t asking her. ‘Dungeons & Dragons. Tabletop role-playing game.’

If it was Haz, I’d ask her to elaborate, maybe crack a joke at role-playing, but after being gozzed in the mouth last month, I’ve no desire to engage her any more than necessary. Just seeing her smug face makes me want to punch her

‘Nah, not enough dopamine for me.’ Elly snatches the controller back when I die yet again.

‘Alright, later then, motherfuckers.’ Haz pushes off the table. ‘Have fun melting your brains.’

The door slams, telling me Haz was the one to close it.

‘Didn’t know they were into all that.’ With them out of sight, I curl into Elly slightly. As much as I love having Haz around, something in me sighs every time it’s just Elly and me.

She presses a quick kiss to the top of my head. ‘You’ve been witness to our board game nights for months.’

‘Yeah, but, D&D’s a bit different, isn’t it? Like for the hardcore crowd.’

Elly shrugs. ‘Haz has been talking about joining for ages. And where Haz goes, Nic goes.’

‘Would’ve thought it would be the other way round.’ I study Elly as she plays, her light eyes flitting over the screen. Her face in profile’s always so nice with her cute wispy sideburns and freckles. ‘Not for you, anyway?’

‘Not for me,’ she confirms, following that up with a sigh when her avatar’s blown to smithereens.

‘Died quicker than me that time.’ I take the controller smugly, sitting up straight so I can concentrate.

‘I reckon if we double team this,’ Elly begins, nosing my fall of hair, ‘we might have a better chance.’

‘Thought it was one-player?’

‘It is.’ She slides an arm around me. ‘We can make it two-player like this though.’

I smother a grin as she slips in behind me, drawing my back against her front. Her thighs hold me snuggly, hands coming up to cradle mine on the controller.

My body does that thing it does every time she instigates something like this. It tingles from head to toe, thrumming with awareness, the place between my legs stirring awake.

‘Dunno,’ I murmur, mashing the joysticks for all I’m worth. ‘This seems awfully distracting to me.’

Elly strokes the backs of my hands. ‘Maybe you’re right.’ We watch as the avatar’s shot down once again. ‘We should go and play something properly two-player.’

‘Oh yeah?’ I toss the controller away, stretching my arms above my head with a yawn. ‘Like what? Strip poker?’

‘Not too far off.’ She ambles to the stairs, looking cute in denim overalls. ‘Sit pretty for me. Back in a sec. Maybe go turn the heating up.’

I swap the TV for a playlist on Nic’s speakers. It drowns out the sound of Elly rummaging upstairs. I hope the others will be gone for a while. As fun as it is sneaking around, I’m always grateful for these rare evenings alone.

We’ve made it a point not to share her bed any more than two nights a week. It just seemed a good boundary to me, one me and Ryan failed to keep as we bed hopped each night at Portia House. I don’t want things to get routine, extending this exciting, secretive, risky thing we’ve embarked on. I can’t bear the thought of things going stale with Elly. I don’t think it’s a real concern, just one my dumb brain’s come up with. Can having sex with another girl ever get boring? It forever feels thrilling and she swears she hasn’t even shown me all she can do yet.

Or all I can do to her.

I want that. As does she. I’m just…I don’t feel quite ready. I think I need to get it all straight in my mind first. Or not straight, as the case may be. Elly says she understands but with her knowing she was a lesbian since forever, I’m not sure she does.

There’re only two things simple in my brain—Elly’s an insane kisser and I want more of them.

When I return to those basics, the waters smooth out again.

My heart kicks up when she returns downstairs, plastic bag of something in her hands.

‘Got this ages ago,’ she says, tossing it onto my lap. ‘Never played with it though.’

I slide it out the bag. It’s a wooden box with a bunch of dice inside, each face a different picture and instruction.

‘Love dice,’ I say with a smile.

‘Aye. Up for it? Are you still doing Dry January?’

‘Yes and yes.’ I heft the dice in my hands, hearing them clack together. ‘Are you saying I get to see you naked finally?’

‘If you play your dice right.’ Elly smirks, snapping the strap of her dungarees. ‘You have me at a disadvantage with these.’

‘Not from where I’m sitting.’ I slide onto the floor where I can use the coffee table to throw the dice. ‘You can get yourself a drink if you want.’

‘No, ta. If you’re doing this sober, so am I.’

Our knees touch as she kneels beside me. My pussy does more than stir now. It aches, eager for this game.

‘You start with these ones,’ Elly says, swapping the dice in my hands, ‘for our clothes. Femmes first.’

I bite on my lip as I shake the dice, taking stock of what I’m wearing. A few more layers than Elly, but not by much. Few rolls and I’ll be in my underwear.

I toss the dice. ‘Socks and strip tease. Amazing.’

Elly laughs. ‘Get to it, babe. Make it good.’

She leans back on the sofa as I come to my back, feet in the air so I can reach my socks. It’s so dumb. The music isn’t right either. I hook a finger in one, pulling it off as provocatively as I can. Judging by Elly’s shit-eating grin, it’s not provocative enough.

I throw a sock at her head. ‘You know, I read that girls can orgasm stronger if they’re wearing socks.’

‘Better prepare for some weak orgasms then.’

Elly scoops up the dice. She gets t-shirt and quickly. Shrugging, she pulls down the straps of her dungas until the bib falls. Then she whips her top off, leaving her in only a sports bra. She refastens the straps, flicking her t-shirt at me.

‘Weak,’ I tease. ‘My show was way hotter.’

‘No arguments from me.’

I toss the dice. Trousers and slowly.

‘Well. Definitely glad I turned the heating up now.’

Elly only smiles, watching attentively as I get to my feet and unbutton my jeans. I’ve got a thong on in a bid to minimise knicker lines. It’s so thin it sometimes misaligns to one side of my pussy. I’m careful in pulling them down, feeling strangely shy beneath Elly’s gaze. She’s seen me naked tonnes of times by now but that’s usually after lots of kissing and heavy petting. I don’t need much encouragement with all that.

‘You can probably go slower,’ she says, eyes on my legs.

‘Almost like you don’t want to see me naked.’

She chuckles. ‘Wash your mouth out.’

I touch my thong to make sure it’s all in place before sitting back down.

Reaching out, Elly trails a finger over the edge of the G-string. ‘I’ve chosen a good day for this.’

‘I always wear my best underwear for you.’

Elly smiles, leaning in to kiss my neck after pulling my hair to the side. One of her hands lands on my thigh, massaging there.

I let my eyes fall closed. ‘Getting ahead of yourself there.’

‘Just warming you up.’ She pulls back, eyes smokier than before. ‘I know you’re a chilly thing.’

I slide the dice over to her. ‘Feeling pretty warm actually.’

It’s not long until we’re both lounging in our underwear, me in a mismatched bra and thong and Elly in her sports bra and boxers. She looks so strong, so capable, her hands large where she grips a can of Pepsi.

She sips from it, eyes scanning my near nakedness. Wordlessly she strokes the backs of her fingers over the cuts on my thigh. Her touch is gentle. Questioning. I feel myself tense.

She returns her eyes to mine. ‘Tell me. It’s hard not to notice.’

I smile weakly. ‘Would rather we make out.’

‘Tell you what.’ She places her can on the table so she can take one of my hands in both of hers. ‘Tell me what’s up with that and I’ll give you the biggest snog of your life.’

‘Blackmail.’

‘Sexy incentive,’ she counters.

I sigh, tangling our fingers together. Mine are sweaty, Elly’s warm and steady in comparison.

I know she’s a safe place, and it’s not like I go to any major lengths to hide what I do, but…well, it’s that whole having your ugliness thrown back in your face thing.

‘It just became a thing when I was a kid. I don’t know, maybe I knew someone else who did it or saw it on TV. First time I lost someone I loved, I tried it. Not on my legs. My wrists, being all cliché. And it helped. Weirdly. Made me all calm and chill. So everything bad that happened after that, it just became my go-to.’ I shrug. I never talk about this shit so it’s hard for me. ‘It’s not that deep. Not really. Just looks bad. My rule is no scars. No permanent ones anyway. It’s still better than other things. You know, drugs and stuff.’

Elly strokes her thumb over my knuckles. ‘What bad things are happening to make you still do it?’

I shake my head with pursed lips. ‘The same bad things as ever. Same things, different forms.’

‘Yeah, I get that.’ She squeezes my hand. ‘Who did you lose?’

I look down at our hands, noticing their different sizes. It’s easier to look at them than into her eyes. Especially when I’m talking about this. About her.

‘You know those people you meet and have an instant soul connection with?’

Elly nods.

‘And then they leave and it’s like they take a piece of you with them? You’re just never whole again, no matter how much time has passed, no matter how you try to fill the void. And it’s even worse when you know it’s your fault they left. You only have yourself to blame.’

In the silence that follows, Elly shifts uncomfortably. ‘Tilda, you’re not talking about your mum’s old boyfriend, are you?’

I release a breathless chuckle. ‘No, not him. His kid.’

‘Oh, I see. You lost touch with them?’

I nod, the pain of it washing over me like a bucket of fresh blood—a wound that never heals. ‘Kinda had to be that way. But yeah, never heard from them again.’

‘That’s rough, bro.’ She pulls on my hand, making me tumble into her. ‘Come give Elly a hug.’

I crawl into her lap, arms and legs wrapped around her like a four-tentacled octopus. I lay my head on her shoulder, closing my eyes when her arms come around me. It’s like being knitted back together again. She’s a literal tonic.

‘What would make you stop you doing it?’ she burrs into my ear.

‘Nothing,’ I whisper. ‘Don’t ask me to stop.’

‘Okay.’ She kisses my temple, her breath warming my face. ‘Okay.’

When she pulls back, that previous solemness is blessedly missing. ‘Can I ask you to kiss me instead?’

I smile, cupping her cheeks. ‘You can definitely ask me that.’

It’s a kind of balm, the feel of her lips on mine. It never grows old, never since that first kiss in Vipers when everything inside me had stood to sudden attention.

Feels even nicer without the barrier of clothes.

It’s my first time seeing Elly this undressed. She’s always kept her clothes on, even with my half-hearted attempts to disrobe her and return the favour. She feels divine, her stomach and chest rising against me as she breathes, her tongue tasting of Pepsi, the bulk of her between my legs.

‘Wanna carry on playing before we get too carried away?’ she says against my lips.

Sliding off her, I fish out the other set of dice. My heart quickens at the sight of various body parts paired with words like lick, suck, kiss.

‘Make it good,’ Elly jokes.

I roll, landing on thigh and kiss. ‘Wait, so I have to do this to you now?’

‘Only if you like.’

I regard Elly sitting crossed legged, her boxers hiding the body part I seek. ‘Bend that leg up, please. And straighten the other.’

Elly does, leaving one thigh free for the taking. I lower down, using her leg for leverage as I attach my lips. Her skin’s hot and she smells musky. Makes me wonder if she’s wet. I certainly am.

I feel her fingers stroke through my hair as I kiss up and down her thigh. I’m so close to her pussy, overly aware of the thin barrier of cotton that separates us.

‘Babe, that’s so hot,’ she sighs.

My pussy stirs. I want to pull down the waistband of her boxers, to attach my lips there. Instead I straighten back up, eyeing the wetness I’ve left on her thigh. ‘Your turn.’

She closes her eyes as she shakes the dice. ‘Please get tits. Please get tits.’

I roll my eyes but of course she gets tits, along with suck.

She grins. ‘May I?’

‘You have to roll to get my bra off first.’

Retrieving the other dice, she slams it underwear side up. ‘There.’ She leans down, skimming her lips over my boobs above my bra, one hand sneaking around to unclip it. It falls around my waist. Then her lips are on my nipple. She applies suction, her tongue circling.

Ryan liked nipple play sometimes. The only guy I’ve ever been with who has. Wasn’t much though, just a bit of biting before he inevitably shoved my head somewhere else. I wonder how it would feel to suck Elly’s boobs. I know she’s responsive there. She pinches her own nipples whilst we fuck ourselves for each other.

She nibbles me, making me gasp. ‘You can do that to me if you want,’ she says.

I think about it, then I think too much about it, quickly psyching myself out. ‘I think I might have to level up for that first.’

Elly smiles. ‘No problem at all.’

But it feels like one to me. I put my hands over my face as it burns. ‘I feel like such a fucking virgin.’

‘Hey, don’t worry about it. That’s kind of a hot thought anyway. I’ve never taken someone’s virginity before. Also, you know we’ve technically already been having sex, right?’

‘Yeah, selfish pillow princess sex.’ I run my eyes over Elly’s mostly naked body. ‘I want you to feel good too.’

‘I do, babe, believe me. Nothing feels better than getting you off.’

I nod wordlessly, reclaiming the dice. I laugh when they land on neck and blow.

Getting back into Elly’s lap, I press my lips to her neck, issuing from them the most obnoxious raspberry I can.

‘Fuck yes.’ She tips her head back. ‘One more time and I’ll come.’

I chuckle against her skin, kissing there instead. ‘Elly?’

‘Mm?’

‘Can we go upstairs? I’m worried about the others.’

She sits up with a sigh. ‘Fair. Let’s grab our shit.’

When we’re sure we’ve got everything, we scurry upstairs with it all in our hands, pausing only to yank up my bra when it falls to the landing.

In her room, she scoops me up, my clothed pussy pressing into her stomach as she carries me to the bed. ‘Can I carry on?’

‘Was kind of hoping you would.’

I close my eyes when she rests the weight of her body on mine. It’s like being covered in a sexy weighted blanket, warm and comforting and incredibly arousing. She’s already pressing her hips into mine, a rhythm that feels so familiar by now. I’ve never come from dry humping but I get closer and closer each time with her.

It’s not long before she’s back on my tits, repeating everything she’d done downstairs. I keep my hips moving, eyes tightly closed. I need her mouth somewhere else.

‘Elly,’ I whisper. ‘No teasing.’

She releases my nipple with a wet pop, moving her mouth lower until she reaches my knickers. ‘Can I take these off?’

‘What do you think?’

‘I think you’re being incredibly needy.’ She grasps my underwear and pulls them down. ‘And incredibly hot. Fuck, Tilda. You’re so wet. I can literally see it.’

I twine my fingers in her hair. ‘Your mouth, Elly. Please.’

She pulls my thighs apart, burying her face between them. I bite my lip at the feel of her breath. Then her tongue’s on me, circling my pussy, drawing wetness up to my clit.

‘Fuck. Elly. This isn’t going to take long.’

Elly chuckles. ‘You always say that.’

‘And it never does. Not with you.’

‘But with men, right?’ She looks up at me as she swirls her tongue. ‘That always takes years?’

‘Oh, hundreds.’ I smile up at the ceiling. ‘Sure.’

She clucks, kissing my thigh. ‘You poor straight girl. How repressed you must be.’

‘Gagging,’ I agree. ‘So get on.’

There’re no more words as Elly works her magic, stroking that tongue over and over my clit until I’m completely wound. I come hard, letting her hear me knowing we’re the only two in the house.

She groans against my skin, her tongue only speeding up. ‘Can you come again?’

‘Yeah, just, keep going. Go really fast.’

I lift my hips into her mouth, pressing my head back into the pillow. She carries on with her tongue, not losing her rhythm for even a moment. The consistency makes me come again in short time, my pussy clenching harder than the first.

‘You sound so good,’ Elly breathes, coming to my side. There’s red high on her cheeks, her eyes a little wild. ‘I nearly fucking came.’

I lay a forearm over my face, eyes closed. ‘You are so, so good at that.’

‘It’s something I pride myself on.’

‘Oh yeah?’ I roll my head to face her. ‘Five stars all round?’

She nods. ‘Minimum. I’m a people-pleaser.’

‘You’re certainly a Tilda pleaser.’

Cool air from her open window swirls around me. I curl into her body, an arm around her waist. She’s still in her underwear but the way she keeps shifting her legs tells me she’s in a certain kind of pain.

I stroke her with my fingers, careful to keep it tender rather than arousing. Not like that will make any difference to her with the state she’s in, but I don’t want to be a tease. I need to know that when I touch her—because I will, and soon—it’s because I’m truly ready, not because I feel like I need to to assuage my guilt.

I kiss her arm, feeling a wave of gratitude for her wash over me. I don’t think it would be like this with Haz. She would push, goad. Not because she’s an asshole but because she knows I want it. I know Elly does too but she’s far too much of a gentlewoman to pressure me.

I sigh, tightening my arm around her.

Crazy thing is, I think I want her to push.

It’s strange feeling in charge of my own pleasure. Feeling like a first-rate citizen in the bedroom instead of always second. The bottom. The submissive one. The one who plays at going along with it even if I want it as much as the boy does. It’s a role I’m used to, one I’m stuck in. Elly might be masculine but she’s no man. It’s all equal with her, all of it, and that’s so fucking weird to me.

It’s all this nuanced stuff that’s got my head in a twist. And that’s even without the fact it seems I’m suddenly attracted to girls. Girls. More than one of them. I could probably deal with one. It’s just the person, right? But two is heavy. Two means I’m not who I thought I was.

Elly threw out a bunch of labels the other day, but none of them felt right. Demi, pan, bi. They’re not me. Straight feels right but how can that be? It’s like calling yourself a vegan when you still chow down on meat.

Elly tightens her arms. ‘Babe?’

‘Mm?’

‘You’re sighing an awful lot there.’

‘Sorry.’ I kiss her arm again. ‘Brain’s being loud.’

‘In a good way?’

‘In a kind of neutral way. Just…trying to figure out who I am.’ I snort, burying my face into her. ‘You know. Casual.’

‘You know that’s literally an ongoing process for everyone, right?’

‘Is it? You seem pretty sure of yourself.’

‘Then I’m a good faker.’ Cupping my head, she pulls it back so we’re eye to eye. ‘I know I’m a lesbian, yeah, but the rest of it…’ She purses her lips and shrugs. ‘Who fucking knows.’

I watch as she rolls onto her side, our knees gently touching. ‘What do you mean?’

‘My body.’ She runs a hand over her boobs. ‘I don’t like these. Never have. They don’t feel like me. They’re too big. Too…obvious. Does that make me a guy? No. But do I feel like a girl? Also no. But do I want to keep using she/her pronouns? Yeah, I do. That feels right.’ She flicks her sports bra with a finger. ‘I want to get rid sometimes. You know, once I’ve saved enough for top surgery. But then a girl touches them in bed, or I do, and it feels so good, so do I want to get rid of them really? It’s just a fat I don’t know all of the time. That’s how you’re feeling, right? About this whole gay-or-not thing.’

I run my hand down her arm, eyeing her boobs so close to my face. It’s as easy to imagine her without them as it isn’t. So if I feel that way, no wonder she’s confused when it’s her own body. Maybe she’s right. Maybe we’re not meant to figure everything out. I feel like a different person every day, whilst desperately wanting to stay one thing and be confident in it.

‘I just like my brain being tidy. I like having boxes to put everything in. Nice little labelled boxes.’ I carry on stroking her arm, soothing myself as much as her. ‘I had an obsession with personality quizzes when I was in school. I liked being told who I was. It calmed everything—same feeling as when I cut myself. I used to feel awful every time they gave me an answer different to the one I thought I was. Like, really used to tweak me out. So dumb.’

‘Ever take any gay ones?’

I smile. ‘No. Maybe I should have.’

‘I think you’re better off just going with the flow. Humans are messy. We’re not binary—in literally any way. If people got that humanity would be much better off, I swear.’

‘It’s all a spectrum,’ I murmur.

She kisses my forehead. ‘Exactly. Boxes are cool and all, but they’re not meant to be locked up tight forever. They’re meant to open, be unpacked and repacked in whatever packaging is good for that day. If all you know today is that you’re into guys, and you’re maybe into me, too, that’s fine. That’s a good box.’

‘A good box,’ I muse with a chuckle. ‘Thanks, Elly. That’s literally chilled me the fuck out.’

‘Yeah?’ She runs a gentle palm over my scars. ‘As much as these?’

‘More,’ I say quietly, peering into her kind eyes. ‘There’s nothing ugly about you that there is in that.’

‘As long as you don’t think you’re the thing that’s ugly.’ She cups my cheek and kisses my lips. ‘I don’t fully know the ins and outs of your brain yet. Something tells me you’re a bit of an onion. But I think you’re beautiful, Tilda. Inside and out. You fascinate me endlessly.’

I blow out a breath. ‘Fuck, Elly. Are things always this intense with lesbians?’

‘Literally. It’s a problem. But also my favourite thing about being one.’

‘I think it might be mine too.’ I return her kiss. ‘Can’t say my pillow talk’s ever been this riveting.’

Elly snorts. ‘I bet. Your ex didn’t seem the type.’

Yeah, that’s for sure. I try to remember what we did post-sex but come up kind of empty. There was banter. Laughter. Cuddling. More sex. No psychoanalysing though. That’s a new one.

‘You know the other night when you said ‘let’s not have you thinking’? Can you do that again, please?’ I close my eyes, sightlessly seeking her lips. ‘Everything’s quiet when you’re touching me.’

Elly rolls on top of me, pinning my arms above my head. ‘Apart from you.’

I tut, feebly struggling against her hold. ‘Dick. You only have yourself to blame for that.’

With her arms still holding mine, she kisses me. The type of kiss that tells me she’s about to get me back for my cheek. It might all be equal with Elly but she’s definitely still in charge in the bedroom. Even if I knew I was into girls the second I was born, I know it would still be her in charge. I like that. It’s where I’m comfortable, where it feels natural. And I know there’s power in being on the bottom. It was something I could wield even with Ryan, regardless of whether or not he knew I was wielding it.

‘I think I’d like for you to come again,’ Elly says into my ear.

‘I think I’d like that too.’

She noses my cheek. ‘Maybe with my fingers this time? Can I trust you to keep your hands up here?’

I curl my fingers round the headboard. ‘You can trust me.’

‘Good.’ She presses a lingering kiss to my cheek. ‘Knew I could.’

My body responds quicker with my hands incapacitated. I try not to move at all, my attention focused solely on the trail Elly follows with her mouth, her hands skimming up and down my body. I shiver, both from her touch and the cool air.

I try to anticipate her entering me, stretching me with three of her fingers, stopping every so often to rub the heel of her hand against my clit. She touches me so good, her own enjoyment, so evident in her gasps and groans, driving me ever higher. As much as I lose myself to her touch, I watch as well, making sequences in my own mind of what I’ll do when I finally touch her. Would she like everything she does to me? Is she showing me without words what she wants me to do?

She rises up again, resting half her weight on me as one of her hands disappears between my legs. She finds my clit, still so sensitive from my first two orgasms.

‘Fuck,’ I groan, bending my free leg as high as it will go. ‘Please go inside me.’

She rests her forehead against mine as she pushes inside. She gasps at the same time I do. ‘I love this,’ she whispers. Curling her fingers, she flutters them against me.

I grip the headboard tighter, resisting the urge to wrap my arms around her, pulling her deeper into my body.

‘I can already feel you clenching.’

I love that she talks too. That’s certainly something I’ve never experienced before. Tommy’s the only chatty guy I’ve had in my bed, a thought that almost makes me snort despite Elly being three fingers deep.

She pauses to massage my clit with her palm, the rapid action only making me clench harder. I bite my lip, readjusting my hands where they slide on the metal.

‘Don’t you let go,’ she warns.

‘I’m not. Don’t you stop.’

Elly sighs, resting her forehead on mine again. ‘Tilda, I could do this for-fucking-ever.’

My breath releases as I begin to come, my stomach muscles tightening, my hips rising.

I look into Elly’s eyes. She looks back, her gaze coaxing.

‘Come on.’ Her whole body jiggles with the speed of her thrusts. ‘Let me feel you.’

I tip my head back, mouth opening—

‘Yo, Elly.’ A rap of knuckles comes to the door.

Elly stops.

As does my heart.

‘Did you lock the door?’ I hiss.

She shakes her head, clearly unable to remember. I can’t either which means we probably didn’t.

Haz knocks harder.

I only wait another beat before diving from under Elly and tumbling off the side of the bed. Elly looms over, body shaking with silent laughter as she watches me flail on the ground.

‘One second, mate,’ she calls out, still grinning down at me. ‘Got my tits out.’

I lie on the floor as Elly throws on a t-shirt and answers the door. There’s so much shit under her bed I can barely see their feet on the other side. They’re talking but my heart’s beating too fast to hear what they’re saying. Doesn’t seem to be any suspicion in Haz’s voice. I’m starting to think she really is just remarkably oblivious. This is, what, the third time she’s basically caught us in the act? It’s made us reckless, like we’re egging her on to discover us. Maybe Elly is. Maybe I am. It’s not like she’ll behead us for it, is it? At least not in a way she can’t reattach them afterwards.

It’s chilly on the floor. I idly scan my eyes over the contents under the bed, listening for any strain in Elly’s voice as she speaks. She has to be wetter than me at this point. I don’t know how she hacks it. I don’t think I could give someone two-almost-three orgasms without a single one for myself.

My eyes snag on something that almost makes me snort aloud. It’s a dildo, still tangled up in its straps. It’s flesh coloured like the one Haz owns. Maybe a little bigger, the width of the three fingers that had just been inside me. My pussy’s still throbbing, denied as I was of my orgasm. I carefully trace my clit with two fingers, imagining that strap inside me, thrusting as Elly had been.

I hear the door close, the distinct snick of the lock, then Elly’s looming over me again.

‘All good down there?’ She holds out a hand to help me up.

Reaching under the bed, I pull out the dildo, shaking it free of the straps. ‘Use this on me?’

Elly goes quiet, staring at it in my hand. ‘You sure?’

I nod. ‘Dying here.’

She holds out a palm to receive it. ‘Alright. Let me just find one I know is clean.’

I get back on the bed as Elly hunts around, her back muscles flexing as she rummages in her wardrobe. She returns with one the same colour as the black straps.

‘Sure you’re sure?’

‘Super sure.’

She looks at me for a further moment before pulling the straps up over her boxers. I release a breath. I’d been wondering how she would wear it, if she’d remove her clothes first.

She repositions herself on top of me. ‘Do you need warming up again?’

I shake my head. I’m beyond ready for her.

There’s a distant part of me that realises how significant this is. You can’t get more lesbian than letting a girl dick you down, can you? And this way, Elly can feel it too. She once said she could, though I don’t think this dildo vibrates. Maybe it’ll be like dry humping for her. Some pleasure, but not as much as she needs. Not as much as I want to give.

‘Just to warn you,’ she says as she lines up the head of the dildo to my pussy, ‘I slip out sometimes. It’s harder than it looks and I don’t have as much practice as Haz.’

‘Even guys do that, Elly. Especially when drunk. Chill. I honestly won’t take much to pop.’

She pushes in with a smile. I groan. Fuck, I’ve missed feeling full. Fingers are great but it’s this smoothness I’ve been mourning. And this thing—it feels even better than any dick I’ve taken, the shape and texture of it made to perfection.

‘Good?’ Elly whispers, holding her hips still.

I nod, wrapping my arms around her shoulders as she starts to move. Gently at first, just enough to feel that pulse of pleasure deep inside me.

The mattress starts to creak with every thrust. ‘This fucking bed,’ she breathes, burying her face in my neck.

I know she’s thinking of Haz. I am too after her comment about her having more practice. It’s hard not to wonder how Haz would be fucking me now. Not with this slow buildup. She’d be jackhammering me, dicking me so hard into the mattress there’s no pause to even draw breath.

My pussy clenches, making me gasp out. I tighten my arms around Elly as she picks up the pace. I don’t know why she was worried about slipping out. She’s wielding that thing like she was born doing it, rolling her hips in a way that’s so obviously deliberate. She’s so giving, wanting my pleasure in a way that warms my heart. These tender feelings are new but entirely unavoidable. She’s just so perfect. Every single thing she does makes me like her more.

She slows down to kiss me, her breathing heavier than mine now. Is it the exertion or is she enjoying this too? I want to ask how close she is but I’m too shy. I don’t know if that would change everything, that acknowledgment of mutual pleasure. I really hope it does feel good for her. I listen out for every hitch in her breath, each one ratcheting me up. It’s hot as hell to think she might be secretly coming, trying to hide it lest she spook me.

I’m not so secretly coming myself. It’s slower than when she uses her tongue, the buildup more intense, the promise of deep pleasure to come. My body feels hot all over, my heart pounding so hard it’s dizzying. I’ve definitely been too long without this. It feels like when I first discovered how good sex could be, when even the idea of it would make me near hyperventilate.

‘I’m going to come so hard,’ I tell her shakily.

Elly raises up on her palms, able to fuck me more deeply this way. ‘I want to watch you.’

I grasp her arms, the closest body part to me. She looks into my eyes, as deeply as the toy she’s thrusting inside me. It’s a kind of meditation, focusing on all the different hues in her irises as she brings me closer and closer to the brink.

‘So beautiful,’ she breathes, tonguing sweat off her top lip.

I stroke her arms with my thumbs. ‘You are.’

Looking between our bodies, she thrusts hard, making me cry out.

‘Babe, you have to be quiet.’

‘No—I can’t— fuck.’

My head roves on the pillow. It’s too much. I’m going to go blind or die or something. Elly slams her hips, the subsequent slapping sound and protesting bed springs louder than any noise I’m making.

I grab her hips. ‘Elly.’

She watches me carefully, shallowing her thrusts but keeping them fast. I suck in a breath, scrabbling around for a pillow to moan into. My pussy clenches, pleasure drenching me. Thank fuck for this pillow because I’m screaming. I hear Elly gasp in response, almost a moan, her hips keeping up with that pulsing motion until my orgasm ebbs.

She drags the pillow from my face, kissing me deeply as one of her hands palms my neck. With agitated movements, she pulls off the strap and straddles me.

‘Let me sit on your face.’ She rolls her hips. ‘Fuck, please.’

There’s a wet patch on her boxers, so large and so evident that I falter. I knew she’d be wet, wanted her to be, but to be so suddenly presented with it has me speechless.

Like a lemon, I can only shake my head.

‘Alright.’ She kisses me reassuringly, though it’s clear she’s working hard to keep the disappointment from her face.

I rub my eyes. ‘Shit. Sorry. I bottled it.’

‘It’s fine, babe. I’m not Haz. I won’t push.’ With one last kiss, she climbs off me. ‘Could you please leave the room so I can take care of myself?’

I gather my clothes. I don’t know where Haz is at so I put them on before leaving. I close the door quietly, lingering there with my hand on the handle.

I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t listen.

I press closer to the door.

Is she touching herself already? Maybe using the dildo she just used on me?

When I hear footsteps on the landing, I’m too dazed to step away, to cover up what I’m doing, where I’ve just been.

I meet Nic’s eyes, the look in them telling me she knows exactly what’s going on.

I have no excuses, my mind still mush from that blinding orgasm and the two others before it.

We stare at each other, gazes unguarded in the quiet dim of the hallway.

She shakes her head. ‘Don’t fuck with her.’