THIRTY-SEVEN
ETHAN
Eager fans crowd the corridor, and security bustles around, adding to the excitement and chaos. Yet, it’s all inconsequential compared to my emotions.
What the fuck is happening right now?
I’ve never felt so out of control, and without control, I’m no better than my idiot captain.
Prior to the game, I couldn’t resist the urge to be with Aurora, the intensity of my desire overpowering all rational thought. I almost let words slip from my lips that I have no business saying. I tried to tell myself it was merely some post-nut psychosis.
Then, I was annoyed when I saw Ricky getting close to her. That shit doesn’t fly with me. Jackson’s the only exception. Before I could wrap my head around my jealousy, Jackson was running his mouth in front of the team.
I still have no idea what’s going on with him, but it eats at me. Maybe it’s a physical manifestation of his panic over Aurora leaving, but something isn’t right.
Earlier in the season, when he showed up to practice hungover and I found out the staff was medicating him, he only shrugged when I sent him home. Until, finally, I pissed him off enough. Today, my insinuation that he was using again genuinely upset him. Plus, it’d never happen with Aurora present.
There’s something more going on here.
The game ended, and Aurora was the first thing on my mind, this gnawing urge to reach out and take what’s mine. For a hot minute, I wanted to be a twenty-year-old player running into the tunnel to kiss my girl. How ridiculous is that?
I grow increasingly irritated, watching Jackson publicly claim her while I sit on the sidelines. Why can’t it be me too?
Because this is what I chose. Because I’m thirty-five, coaching her boyfriend’s team, and newly divorced. Fuck.
I enter the tunnel with that depressing thought to find Kyle close to Aurora and Jackson. I see Jackson’s internal battle, the weight of his defeat visible in his slumped shoulders, and my possessiveness returns with a vengeance.
The world is testing my limits, pushing me to the edge.
Anger courses through me and adrenaline floods my veins. I clench my jaw and ball my fists, struggling to hold back the impulse to protect what’s mine.
My racing heartbeat reverberates in my ears, drowning out all other noise. Every muscle in my body is taut, begging to take control.
But I’m powerless against Kyle. Security won’t intervene with the police commissioner. Approaching his son may be manipulative, but it’s not unlawful. I’d love to rearrange Kyle’s face, but I can’t risk losing my job or getting arrested. My only choice is to ensure Aurora’s safety.
She stands behind Ricky, using him as a shield, and I know I need to comfort her. Jackson’s not thinking clearly.
I quicken my stride, but before I reach her, she straightens her posture, lifts her chin, and walks away. The sight of her displaying such strength fills me with pride.
That’s my girl. Don’t take shit from anyone.
I hate this for Jackson. It makes me sick when the asshole blocks him from following her. I want to intervene, but I’m torn. Jackson needs to handle Kyle himself. I’ve done it enough for him.
If Jackson doesn’t cut ties with Kyle completely, his father will continue crossing boundaries and taking advantage of him. Kyle contributes to Aurora’s insecurities, and Jackson will lose her.
And that abusive piece of shit isn’t coming anywhere near my child.
Ricky puts a protective arm around Aurora’s shoulders, sealing the deal. That’s my job.
“Aurora,” I call out and wave the guys into the locker room without me, disregarding my fear of their reactions.
She faces me, her whiskey eyes glistening with unshed tears. Her pain overrides logical thought, and even with the crowd gathering, I know I can’t let her slip away.
I take her hand in mine, guiding her around the corner and out of sight. I gather her in my arms, and she rests her head on my chest. Beneath my suit coat, she clings to my button-down, her heart pounding against me.
I cup the back of her head and kiss her temple. If anyone saw, there’d be no mistaking the intimacy between us.
“Everything’ll be all right,” I assure her.
“He’s going to relapse.”
Even as she says it, and I can’t deny she knows him best, I don’t believe it. I can’t fathom Jackson risking her.
And as much as I want him healthy and functioning, I can’t let her set aside her dreams to accommodate his dependency. It traps her and teaches him nothing.
“I’ll keep an eye on him. You can’t let this stop you. You deserve to shine.” It’s the absolute truth. No matter how badly I want Aurora with me or how much Jackson relies on her, we have to let her go.
The buzz of the crowd grows louder, and I sense a dominant presence approaching.
Ricky steps aside, revealing a frantic Jackson, still in pads and skates. He’s around 6’3” barefoot, 6’9” on skates. He towers over all of us and captures everyone’s attention.
“I knew I’d find you with her when you weren’t in the locker room.” He aims his words at me, but his fierce gaze remains fixed on Aurora.
Despite the taboo nature of our relationship and the prying glances, he leans in, takes her face in his hands, presses his forehead to hers, and closes his eyes.
She still clings to me, and I put an arm around his shoulders to provide them with some semblance of privacy.
“I’m sorry. Shit, I know that looked bad. My head’s fucked up.”
She trembles against me, and I hold her tighter.
“Don’t do it, Jax. Whatever he wants, don’t.”
He gives her a lingering kiss. “I won’t. I swear.”
I clasp the back of his neck. “You better not.”
He lets her go and puts an arm around us both. “Yes, Coach.”
We stay embraced in one another’s arms longer than we should. Longer than socially acceptable.
Yet, I can’t bring myself to pull away.