Tripp: Ride With Me Series

5. Casey

Watching my baby sleep,her little cheeks puffing out with each breath was the best part of my night.

She was better than any calming meds or a heating pad for that matter. I’d been antsy all night, between being in a very dangerous situation, being hurt, and then seeing him again.

After Tripp left, I had to admit to myself that—why was it so hard to love some people? Or to accept that they loved you too? Any of it. No one tells you as a kid that when you get big, older, your adult brain is just as fucked up as your younger self. I should have known what to do…but alas, I knew nothing.

I’ve loved—I love—the big idiot. I have for as long as I could remember. He was the forbidden love people warned you about. The older, experienced man. My brother’s best friend. He checked—checks—all the right boxes for me though. I was sure he always has.

I blamed my current acknowledgment of loving a ‘bad boy’ on the romance novels I read.

I wanted him, no, I needed him to be the book hero.

Yesterday he was. He’d literally dropped in out of nowhere and scooped me up.

When I was a child, I remember him and Scooter hanging around the house. They’d let me play with them, and as time went on, they’d changed. Growing into young men. The age gap didn’t keep them from being there for me. School bullies? Oh, they’d handled it.

When I was seven, they’d headed off to basic training. There had been a lot happening. Tripp was a dad; I’d heard Mom and Scooter talking about a baby. He was off to make a better life for everyone.

My mom had cried for days. I remembered that time being hard for her, for us both. Every time there was a knock on the door, a late-night phone call—she was so worried she’d lose her boy.

I saw them anytime they came home, but with Tripp having other responsibilities, I didn’t get to see him as much.

Then years passed before I saw him again.

He’d joined Scooter on a trip home for my high school graduation.

That night changed my life. I didn’t just mean the graduation; I mean the way I saw Tripp.

That night he’d saved me from myself. The guy I was ‘talking to’ was a jerk. He wanted in my pants, I’d said no, so he left me, abandoned me at a gas station.

I’d called home for a ride. Thankfully, Mom always made sure I had change for the pay phone. Tripp had been the one to come swooping in. On the way home, I’d broken down, ya know, the whole ‘over-emotional girl crying bit.’

Tripp had taken me for a long drive, not wanting me to go home upset. We’d talked. I’d cried more. He’d threatened to break the jerk’s knee caps. He’d pulled me out of the manic state I was spiraling toward.

In hindsight, knowing the man as I did now, that long drive kept him from going back and beating Josh’s ass.

Tripp had been there, supported me, and even kissed me goodnight on the front stoop of the house. A soft, quick brush of his lips and he was gone.

Don’t make it weird, people. I was nineteen, six months from being twenty at the time I graduated.

That brief kiss stayed with me. I still thought about it. That was the night I noticed Tripp Cavannagh as a man and not just my older brother’s best friend.

The sexy-as-sin man has been heart-stoppingly handsome and formidable for years.

When he and Scooter came back home between tours, on breaks, they’d always come to see Mom and me. At my college graduation, I got to meet Phoenix, his son. Tripp’s mini me to a tee.

A few more years passed, and I had to make the hardest call of my life. My mom’s passing hit me hard.

It was during that time home that things actually changed between us.

I was twenty-seven, supposedly an adult who was now on my own, falling apart after months of watching my mom get sicker and slowly deteriorate. If not for the strength of will, I couldn’t say how I’d have turned out. But I’d pulled myself together and with them by my side, we’d said goodbye to a woman who’d loved us all unconditionally.

I’d let the emotional me be in control that night. The alcohol probably didn’t help. And well, one thing led to another, and the man stole my heart completely. And I willingly gave him my virginity.

It was a night I would never forget. And, my heart has truly been his since that night.

It would always be his.

He’d left a couple of days later, no in-person goodbye, just a note that said, ‘See you soon, beautiful.’ But I didn’t see him soon. Not for years after that. It was never awkward, just not as often as my heart wanted it to be.

He’d been there for the hard times. He’d healed a piece of my shattered heart each time.

I just had to decide if I wanted to trust him to put it back together again. Could this time be different? Would he leave again after he knew the truth?

I had to push back the fact that he’d hurt me by always leaving.

Running the pad of my finger along Penny’s cheek, my smile grew.

I’d never gotten to be a mother in the formative years—you know, in my late twenties or, hell, even my early thirties, when I was married and had more time and energy.

It turned out to be the best part of those years. I didn’t have to have a child live with a shitty man too. And I was grateful for that.

I was blessed with a baby when I needed her the most. My marriage had dissolved, my ex being a total shitbag. The bastard hit me one too many times, and I’d finally had enough. That last hit was out. The marriage, the years of misery—done. He, of course, said he was ‘sorry.’ I got the ‘it was an accident, you just made me mad.’ And of course, the famous last words, ‘it’ll never happen again.’ It always happened again. If they hit you once, they’d do it a hundred times.

I might be clueless sometimes, but I’ve been to that rodeo. It ends with the bull rider in misery. No thanks. I left the house that night with no real destination in mind. I’d ended up at the bar on the edge of town.

Happenstance put the person I needed in my path. I had no idea Tripp was even in town. And truthfully, I had no idea I’d end up in his motel room.

He probably felt that he’d taken advantage of me that night. Because that’s the kind of man he was. Good from the tip to toe. A great father, even when things were rocky with the ex from hell.

Never fear, he didn’t do a damn thing wrong. Things just weren’t right then for us to be together. I believed things happened for a reason. We couldn’t begin to fathom why, and it wasn’t for us to understand. We lived, learned, and made the life we wanted with what we’d been handed.

That night started so badly and ended blissfully. We’d both been drinking, but I knew what I was doing. I knew what I wanted. Him.

I’d seen the lust in his eyes—I wanted all of him so bad I could taste it. He’d helped wash the sting of betrayal and hurt away. The next morning though, it had been me who’d run off. I wasn’t upset that it had happened. I hated that I’d technically taken advantage of him. Used him to make myself feel better.

I hadn’t said goodbye. Hadn’t wanted to. That night replayed in my mind often. His gentle touches. The love and patience he’d showed me. The love was always wanted, the love we deserved was at my fingertips. So was the fear of denial.

“Does he know?”

I jerked, not having any idea Scooter was there. For a big guy, he moved around like a ninja. I looked up, meeting his gaze.

“Tell him what?”

“Don’t. You know damn well what I mean.”

Shit. “How long?—”

“A few months. Phoenix is the one who asked me about it. That day y’all came by the shop. He took one look at her, and he knew.”

“How?”

“He said she looks just like him at that age. The curly hair, the eyes. It’s kind of obvious once you put it together.”

“I didn’t think tonight was the right time.” I rubbed my neck. “Do you think he knows and just hasn’t said anything?”

He sighed. “No, if he knew, he’d have mentioned it. I thought when he saw her at the station, he’d just know. But there was so much going on. He was solely focused on finding you.”

“I can’t believe you called him—he showed up.”

“If there is anyone on this planet, other than you, that I know I can count on, it’s Tripp. He may have his issues, but loyalty ain’t one of them.”

He had a point there. “I’ll have to talk to him about it; it’s eating me up that he doesn’t know. I’m just scared.”

“That”s fair, but, sis, you owe it to him to let him be a part of his daughter’s life. She needs to know she has a father who would move heaven and earth for her.”

I smiled. “He would. I have no doubts about that. I just don’t know where we stand. Will he break my heart again, or would we be enough to spark a change?”

“You won’t know until you talk to him.” Scooter came in, gently took Penny from me, and moved her back to her crib. He then helped me up to my feet, holding my crutches out for me.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Later today. Guess I need to tell Phoenix too. Man, that’s an age difference…” I chuckled slightly.

“We don’t choose our family or their ages when we find them.”

“How’d you get so smart?”

“Mom,” he retorted, walking down the hall to his room.

Shaking my head, I moved across the hall to my room. I could hear Penny’s tiny snores through the baby monitor. I carefully got myself back into bed and closed my eyes.

Tomorrow would either be the second-best day of my life, or the worst. I prayed for the former.

Yawning, I scrubbed a hand over my face. I hissed when I hit the scrapes on my chin. I’d forgotten they were there.

Moving hurt. My body was so damn sore. It felt like I’d been hit by a car. Making a face, I got to my feet and carefully made my way through the room and into the bathroom. I took care of business, turned on the shower, and climbed in under the steaming hot water.

The warmth soothed some of the aches, letting my muscles relax. I gave myself a good scrub, washed my hair, and took care of everything else that needed to be done, as quickly as I could. Keeping in mind what the doctor had said about the stitches.

As soon as I was out, I dried my hands, wrapped a towel around me, and moved to sit on the closed commode lid. I didn’t dare leave the bandage on my leg any longer. I removed it before I dried myself off. It should be okay to let the stitches air out a little bit. Right? I wasn’t going anywhere.

I slipped on a pair of panties, my pajama shorts, and the bra I had on the counter. I did, however, forget to grab a T-shirt on my way in. So once my brace was back on my ankle, my teeth brushed, and my hair up in a messy bun, I slowly made my way back into the bedroom.

Let me tell you, crutches pinching nekkid skin—no bueno. My underarms were pissed at the moment. And the arms of my crutches had deodorant on them.

I pulled an old Harley Davidson shirt out of the dresser and hurried to get it on. It was so big it swallowed me. I found myself balling my hand in the fabric. This was the shirt I’d taken from Tripp the night we spent together. Matter of fact, I’d worn it home.

I’d forgotten it was in there.

Shaking my head, I didn’t have any longer to overthink my thoughts because my daughter started calling for me.

I left my room, stumbling once when the crutch got stuck on the narrow doorframe.

“I can get her,” Scooter called out, opening his door.

“I could use help. I’m sure she’s got a nasty surprise waiting on us. I can smell it from here.”

He grimaced.

“I’ll remove and clean if you’ll rewrap the buttrito?”

“Buttrito…” He laughed softly.

We worked well as a team. We always had. Having a sibling who was so much older than you could be a blessing. That thought ran through my head every time I saw Phoenix. He had a baby sister that I hoped one day he could have a real relationship with.

I just had to get up the courage to tell her father about her first.