Chapter 15
15
M y head lolls off the end of Layla’s bed as I stare at her upside down in her desk chair, typing up an essay on her laptop. She said she had to finish it when I asked to come over, so I made myself comfortable after she opened the door and then went back to her desk thirty minutes ago. I hold one of her plant shaped pillows against my chest, running my palm against the fuzzy material while I wait.
Layla stops typing, grabbing the mouse and aggressively clicking the left button before sliding away from her desk and watching the screen. A blue light spins around in a circle as it loads before a Congratulations, your paper has been submitted message pops up and she throws her arms into the air and whoops.
I laugh, saying, “I take it you made the deadline?” as I glance at the time and see it's five minutes to eight.
“With a couple hours to spare!” She spins toward me, leaning back and pulling her legs up to tuck underneath her. “Now tell me how your meet up went!” She grabs a throw pillow off the floor, tucking it onto her lap and then laying her chin in the palms of her hands as she stares me down.
“How many energy drinks have you had in the last 24-hours?”
“I don’t know. Three? Doesn’t matter. Tell me!”
I sigh, sitting up and taking a second to let the blood drain from my head.
Axel cancelled again on our Friday library meet up last week, not even coming to our classes either, but then he showed up in our Wednesday class, still sitting away from Bentley, but coming right down to my front row seat and sitting down next to me. We didn’t speak since he showed up just as Howards walked in, then packed up and left the moment class was over. I wanted to ask what was going on, but he didn’t even look at me to give me a chance to try to say something.
Then I showed up to class this morning to find Bentley sitting in the seat on the left of my usual spot. I paused on the stairs, limbs faltering as I remembered our kiss two weeks ago. Shaking off the feeling when someone bumped into me to get to their seat, I walked down to my usual spot with as much bravado as I could summon and sat down.
Bentley looked over at me and I met his eyes as I pulled out my notes for the class. He’d searched my whole face, and I wondered if his thoughts were in the back of Kitsune Grill like mine were. But then he just nodded and faced forward again without a word.
Axel showed up right as Howards did again and it made me wonder if he was hiding in the hallway, waiting to go in at the last possible moment so he didn’t have to speak to either of us. He sat down next to me on my right side, avoiding my eyes when I looked over at him. Bentley looked at him too, but I found regret playing across his features when I glanced over at him. He tried to hide it, smiling to me as Dr. Howards started class, but I spent most of the hour thinking about that look and trying not to explode under the tension running in all directions around the three of us.
“Still meeting in the library later?” Axel said when Howards released us to go. His eyes stayed on my face, not sparing Bentley a glance. It had been the most I’d heard him speak since the first time we sat together in the library on the second week.
I turned to look at Bentley who stared up at Axel before nodding and staring down into his bag as he packed up.
“Yeah, see you there,” I said as Axel nodded once and walked off.
I remember watching him leave as I sit on his sister’s bed and stare into her eyes that almost perfectly match his.
“I didn’t tell them,” I say, picking at a thread on the pillow in my arms.
“Coward!” Layla yells and I let my head fall back against the wall behind me.
“I know, but things are so weird, not just with me but with them too. What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey guys, here’s the research I’ve compiled and oh by the way, I broke up with Christopher so now I’m free and open to date either one of you.’ Be fucking for real.” I narrow my eyes at her, squeezing the pillow further against my chest.
She leans forward and shoves my foot. “Yes! You need to tell them. They’re both operating under the assumption that you’re off-limits when you’re finally home free!”
“We’re barely all talking to each other again. I’m not throwing another wrench in the mix right now. If them thinking I’m still with Christopher helps us all get along, I’m not going to change anything.”
“Bentley kissed you while you were still with Christopher,” Layla points out, starting to spin back and forth on her chair.
“You need to calm down.” I laugh. “Take some melatonin or something, you’re way too jittery right now.”
Layla shrugs, starting to complain about how she thought her Romantic Period English class would be more Pride and Prejudice and less William Blake poetry, but my brain wanders off as I nod along.
Axel had already been in the library when I showed up at two minutes to five. He sat at the same table I picked out last time, already focused on the screen of his laptop. I picked up my pace, wanting to talk to him before Bentley showed up, but as I came up to the table, I realized he had earbuds in. Not wanting to disturb him if he was actually trying to avoid us, I sat down, pulling out the books I took out last time we were here and my laptop to keep taking notes on the passages I marked with sticky notes.
“Hey, Blue,” Axel whispered, pulling my focus back over to him as he took out the earbud on the side closest to me.
“Hi, how have you been?” I turned toward him in my chair, gripping the edges of it to stop myself from reaching out to him. The urge to touch him had apparently only grown in his absence the last couple of weeks.
He sighed, tipping his head back and staring at the ceiling. “I’m sorry I ditched the last few times. I’ve been feeling off for a bit and just needed to figure some stuff out.” He glanced down at me with a small smile. “Forgive me?”
I rolled my eyes. “Nothing to forgive, Axe. We have the whole semester to do this project. Plus, Bentley cancelled once too so it wasn’t just you.”
Axel deflated a bit, looking much more relaxed as his smile grew larger. “I was worried you'd be pissed at my flakiness.”
I shook my head. “You’re good, Axe. Just next time you’re feeling off, talk to me or Lay. We were both worried about you.”
“I don’t think you want to know about what’s bothering me,” he murmured, playing with the earbud in his hands.
I’d been about to prod him about it more when Bentley walked up, dropping his bag next to the chair across from me and sitting down with a friendly greeting. We spent the next hour in a tense silence, Axel putting his earbud back in once I showed them both the research I already compiled. When we hit the hour mark, he pulled out the headphones, closing his laptop and saying he’d see us in class on Wednesday before leaving quickly.
Bentley sighed, watching after him before looking to me and then ducking his head. We’d packed up quietly, an awkward silence around us before we both stood up and just nodded, heading in different directions at the door.
“Where’s your head, babes?” Layla calls, snapping her fingers as I glance up.
“Sorry, got lost in my thoughts.” I slump down a bit, picturing Axel’s face as he sulked at the library table.
“Heard anything else from Aunt Sandy?” she asks cautiously.
I sag further down. “Yes.” I wiggle my phone out of my back pocket without sitting up. “She texted me yesterday.” I pull up our chat, reading the long text she sent before I woke up yesterday.
Mom
Christopher and Paul will be coming to the Alumni event we have tomorrow. I expect you to act civil and salvage this relationship. I spoke with Paul, and he says Chris hasn’t moved on yet, so there is still time. Pietro will have your dress delivered Saturday morning.
Layla rolls her eyes. “She’s so fucking delusional. Does she really think she can order you to make up with him after the last conversation you guys had?”
Mom called me the morning after Christopher left, immediately lecturing me about how big of a mistake I had made and how much I'm going to have to do to make it up to the Tonkins’. I’d let her speak, waiting for her to get it all out while I sat on my bed, still in my pajamas at nine in the morning. Once she was done, she asked me what I was thinking, and I’d started.
“I don’t want to be with him, Mom.” It was all I said as she continued to give me reasons we were good together. I had to have said it eight or nine times before she exhaled in frustration and told me I was acting like a child.
“Then maybe I’m not mature enough to be dating right now, Mom.” The weight of the conversation had started to take a toll on me, making me feel like I'd gone on a twenty-mile run.
“Please be serious, Janette.”
“I am, Mom. I don’t want to be with him. I did it for you and it made me miserable. So, I broke up with him for me. You can’t ask this of me anymore.” I listened to the silence that followed with my heart hammering in my chest.
“We’re not done discussing this, Janette,” Mom hissed and then hung up on me.
I told Layla the whole conversation, smiling as she paced my room and angrily complained about how unfair and crazy Mom was acting.
“Clearly she does think that,” I say and pull my legs up, squishing the pillow between them and my chest. “It’s going to be a fun event with Mom smiling and shooting daggers at me the whole time. Plus, Christopher will be there probably hovering around me and making stupid comments about how lucky I’d be if he took me back.” I roll my eyes and sigh, rubbing my shins.
“Oh my god!” Layla jumps up from her chair, clapping her hands and then grabbing her phone and typing into it manically. She squeals when she’s done, whispering, “I’m such a genius,” to herself.
“What?” I furrow my brows at her, hugging my legs tighter.
“You need to bring a date!” She claps again, jumping a little as well.
I sit up, dropping my legs. “Lay, what did you do?”
A devilish smirk lights up her face as she sits down, leaning back and crossing her legs. “Just wait. He’s on his way. It’ll be perfect.”
I groan, already knowing I’m not going to like this plan. A loud knock on her door startles me and Lay chuckles before getting up to answer it.
“What’s the emergency, Lay?” Axel asks, walking in and stopping when his eyes fall on me atop her bed. His eyes flick down to the pillow in my hands before smirking. I smile weakly.
“Take a seat,” she says, pointing to the fluffy folding chair in the corner. He walks over, plopping down and folding his arms over his chest as he glares at his twin. “J needs a favor.” Layla sits back down facing him with a serious look.
He sits forward, leaning his elbows on his knees. “What’s going on?” Axel looks over at me, worry instantly written in the lines that appear along his forehead.
“I have to go to one of my mom’s campaign events tomorrow.” I try to sound confident but end up wringing my hands in my lap and avoiding his eyes.
“Okay,” he says after a long pause. “What’s the emergency here?” He looks between me and Layla with raised eyebrows.
“She needs a date,” Layla blurts. I glare at her, but her overly excited eyes are locked onto Axel.
He looks directly at me again and I meet his eyes, feeling like a middle schooler asking a boy to the dance again. “Why isn’t Chris going with you?”
I squirm. “Um, we sort of broke up.” I stare down at Layla’s comforter, finding the words so much harder to say than the first time I had to in this room.
Axel sits up further, the motion pulling my focus. “When?” he asks, clearly trying to hold back a smile. The look makes the corners of my mouth tilt up.
“Two weeks ago,” I say, and he releases his smile, dispelling the prickly feeling in my chest that told me he’d react like Mom did.
“So, you need someone to hang out with at this thing?” He leans back, crossing his arms again and my eyes track the flex of his biceps under the tight long sleeves of his shirt.
“More like someone to keep him and Aunt Sandy at bay. Think you’re up to the task?” Layla mimics his posture, adding a quirked eyebrow as she challenges him.
“Chris is going to be there?” Axel’s head swivels between the two of us. I nod, wringing my hands again. “I am so in.” His smile turns into a vicious grin and my stomach flips. “What’s the dress code?”
Layla smiles too, bouncing in her seat while Axel stares me down. “You don’t have to do this, Axe. I can handle them on my own.”
“Oh, I know you can, Blue. I’ll just be there for my own amusement, don’t worry.” He winks at me, still smirking and my heart lurches, remembering the kiss with Bentley randomly. “Dress code?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s business casual,” I whisper, eyes still locked with Axel’s. “But my mom’s assistant is dropping off a dress for me in the morning, so I don’t know what exactly I’m wearing yet.”
“You should show up in matching outfits,” Layla says, giggling.
I give her a blank stare, shaking my head. “I think just showing up together will be enough to piss Mom off. No need to give her an aneurysm trying to maintain a fake smile while steam comes out her ears.”
“Don’t worry, Blue. I’ll make sure we have a great time.” Axel leans back, snuggling further into the fuzzy grey chair, still smirking.