Chapter 19
19
I slam the empty cup down on the bar, swallowing the last gulp of my second Sex on the Beach. “And now your brother won’t speak to me! I’ve been texting both of them, but we’re in another fucking standoff and I don’t know what else I should do.”
Layla pouts, nursing her first vodka cranberry and glancing toward the door for the tenth time.
“Are you waiting for someone?”
She looks at me wide-eyed, adamantly shaking her head at the accusation. “No, of course not!” She sips her drink, pulling in more through the straw as she stares down at the bar. “I’m just nervous.” She laughs and leans in, eyeing the bartender at the other end tending to some giggling customers. “I’ve never used a fake ID before.”
I smile, shaking my head. “We already got through the door. We’ll be fine.” I pat her knee. “Don’t worry, Lay.”
“So, the boys are fighting again?” Layla waggles her eyebrows at me, and I push her away by the shoulder, making her cackle. “No, seriously. They’re both idiots for acting like this. I already knew my brother was stupid, but it’s kind of disappointing to find out Bentley Marshall is too.”
I shake my head again. “Stop saying his name like that, Lay,” I say and then sigh. “I blew up my life for those idiots.” My shoulders fall and I lean a little heavier onto the bar top. “Mom hasn’t spoken to me since the alumni event. Not that she really checked in daily, but not even an angry voicemail this time. Just complete silence.” The alcohol in my stomach mixes with the flare of panic, churning into a hard ball in my gut and making me nauseous.
Layla pats my hand, pursing her lips. “I’m sure she’ll brush it all off like nothing happened in a week or two. Don’t worry too much over what Aunt Sandy is going to say. You can always come stay with us for breaks if she gets nasty again.”
“Did I make a mistake?” I whisper. Layla’s eyes widen and I rush to explain. “Breaking up with Christopher has only made things more complicated with Mom and Axel and Bentley. And now they’re fighting over me.” Or over themselves? I don’t really know anymore, but the thought has kept me up several times after Axel told me they slept together, working myself up thinking about it more than once. I'm not about to tell Layla there’s an added layer to all this shit, though, if Axel hasn’t told her he likes guys yet.
“J, no. Things might be complicated right now, but you don’t deserve to?—
The bell over the door rings, cutting her off as we both glance over to see who’s walking into the minimally crowded bar. Mira stands just inside the door, looking back as she waits for the people behind her to get ID’d. My stomach drops, the ball of anxiety inside it plummeting too, as I watch Autumn and Aria come in after her, smiling and looking around. I’ve been meaning to talk to Mira and try to get to know her better, but with classes, and trying to figure out what’s going on with her best friend and his roommate, I've barely had the time to try to catch her.
“Hey guys!” Layla calls over, waving at them.
I snatch her hand without thinking, and she turns toward me. “What are you doing? What if Bentley is...” My voice trails off as the fear I was just about to voice comes to life and Bentley walks through the door, following the trio of girls as they head toward us. Then the fear quadruples as Axel steps into the bar and follows behind Bentley. Both guys stare at me over the heads of Mira, Autumn, and Aria, trapping me in their gazes.
“Hi, Layla, Janette,” Autumn greets as they reach us, leaning against the bar beside Layla. Mira and Aria stand behind her, looking around rather than at us. I nod to Autumn, ripping my eyes away from the magnetic presence of the men behind her. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Needed to get this one off campus for a bit,” Layla says, pointing at me over her shoulder. “She’s been stressing hard lately.”
I blanch at Layla as Autumn pouts at me, feeling both of the guys still staring at me, listening to every word.
“Yeah, my classes have been getting so much harder lately. I’m freaking out about my midterms next week. Starting to think med school might be a pipe dream if I have to suffer through four more years of this first.” Autumn leans into the bar, flagging down the bartender who nods to her and starts wrapping up with the group at the other end. “What are you guys drinking?”
“I had a Sex on the Beach,” I say, keeping my eyes on Autumn as Bentley and Axel crowd in with the other girls, getting closer so they can shout their orders when the bartender comes over.
“What’s in that?” Aria asks, staring at the chalkboard of drink names behind the bar.
“Vodka, orange juice, and cran, I think.” My eyes stray, meeting Axel’s over her shoulder and he beams at me, white teeth gleaming. “Maybe some grenadine or something?” I whisper, transfixed on the molten look in Axel’s gaze.
Layla giggles next to me, pulling me out of my trance as I look around. Mira gives me a puzzled look before averting her eyes when I glance at her.
Aria shrugs. “That sounds good. Get me one of those, Blossom?” Autumn nods, leaning forward as the bartender walks over.
She orders their two cocktails, Bentley pressing forward and ordering a round of beers for him, Axel, and Mira.
“It’ll be good, I promise,” he says to her as she scrunches her face up at the beer order. He pokes her in the side, and she bats his hand away, laughing and shaking her head. I watch the interaction with a little smile, fascinated by playful Bentley, before leaning forward and ordering a soda.
“Want to grab a table together before this place fills in?” Layla asks as the girls’ cocktails get made in front of us. Autumn nods her head, looking around and pointing out an empty high-top near the middle against the windows. Their drinks get made and Autumn passes her card over to open a tab, my soda coming up next. We take our drinks and walk over to the table. I have to jump up a little to get on the bar stool next to Layla and my feet rest on one of the bars across the legs of the chair, so they don’t dangle above the floor like a toddler. Autumn sits across from Layla and Aria grabs the seat next to Autumn, taking a sip of her drink through her black painted lips and surveying the room still.
Mira walks over, Axel and Bentley flanking her with their beers in their hands. She takes the stool at the head of the table, facing the window that looks out on the front street. Multiple people walk by in the setting light of the evening sun. She takes a sip of her beer and grimaces, glaring over her shoulder at Bentley who stands at the corner of the table between Autumn and her. He smirks, downing a third of his in one swig. I watch the way his throat bobs with the movement.
“You don’t like it?” Mira shakes her head at Bentley’s question but grabs his arm when he turns to go back to the bar. “Let me get you something else. I’ll drink that.” Axel settles behind Aria and Autumn across from me, one hand in his pocket while he slowly sips his beer and stares out the window. I study his profile, straw sitting in the corner of my mouth while I mindlessly chew on it, only half listening to the conversation around us.
“No, it’s fine. I don’t want anything else.”
“You don’t like it, Mir.”
Axel glances over at me, catching me staring and holding my gaze as his heats up, smirking at me. Heat blooms underneath the ball of anxiety, flooding my stomach, and I continue staring at him, not caring that he caught me.
“It’s fine, Bentley. I want to try getting used to it.” She takes another sip. “It’s really not that bad on the second try.” Autumn laughs and Bentley shrugs.
Layla leans over, saying, “I’ve never liked beer either. If the drink doesn’t at least have juice to cover the alcohol, I usually won’t touch it.”
“Same!” Autumn says, holding up her plastic cup.
Axel winks at me and I smile, letting the straw fall out of my mouth and turning back toward the group as they start talking about cocktails they all like and then the first drinks we all had. Aria nods to her cup when it gets to her turn, and everyone pauses.
“Well,” Axel says, leaning forward with his hand on the back of Autumn’s chair. “What do you think of Sex on the Beach?” He smiles mischievously at her as she side eyes him.
“Subtle, dude,” Bentley murmurs, sipping his beer to hide his own smile.
Axel laughs, opening his mouth, probably to try to fit his other foot inside it, but Aria beats him to it. “It’s good, but I prefer sex in less sandy locations.”
Axel bleats a laugh, Autumn and Mira chuckling as well. “Touché,” Axel adds, cheers-ing his beer against her cocktail. He makes eye contact with Bentley across the table, and I see the same heat he directed at me in his eyes. I glance between them, watching the way they hold eye contact and feeling the heat in my belly grow.
The group starts trading stories about their hometowns and childhoods, Layla and Axel starting to argue about the events of certain family holidays. But I stay silent, watching Axel and Bentley. They seem relaxed, sharing heated stares every once in a while, and then each turning toward me. Bentley licks beer off his lips at one point, my eyes following the movement while he watches me, and Axel starts telling the story about how he fell off his roof chasing squirrels.
I notice Mira staring down to check her phone every couple of minutes, eyebrows pulled together, and forehead wrinkled in worry. Bentley sees it too and they have a wordless conversation of nods and shrugs before they’re both back to paying attention to the group.
Autumn rolls her eyes as Mira, Layla, Aria, and I laugh at Axel’s story, culminating in him crumpled on the front yard in a dumbfounded heap. “That was completely your own fault.”
“No way!” he insists. “It was the squirrel’s! If it hadn’t charged me, I wouldn’t have fallen.” Autumn shakes her head and Bentley tilts his to the side, staring at Axel with a lopsided grin.
I snort, pulling everyone’s eyes toward me. “Squirrels don’t charge people.”
Axel narrows his eyes, putting his hand on the back of Autumn’s chair again to lean across the tabletop and say, “Maybe if someone hadn’t dared me to go catch one, I wouldn’t have fallen, hmm?” His look makes all the air leave my lungs, rendering me unable to respond as I get sucked into their brown depths.
Autumn laughs. “Still your fault, Axel. You were the one stupid enough to climb up there.”
He leans back, nodding slightly but still staring me down. “Touché.”
“What are you doing here?” The furious voice draws all our attention to the group of men standing at the end of the table. A guy looking very similar to Mira stares down at her, Bentley having moved out of the way to stand behind her as they glare at each other. Another guy, slightly taller and more muscled stands right behind the first, arms crossed over his chest and a slightly lesser look of anger on his face.
I see Tanner over at the bar, ordering with the same bartender who fixed our drinks and notice a sandy haired man in nicely tailored clothes come around to stand behind Layla and me.
The Ravens surround us, all their attention on Mira at the end of the table as she stares up at who I assume to be her brother Ramsey.
“Hanging out. What the hell are you doing here?” She sits up to try to match his height from atop the barstool.
“You’re not old enough to hang out in bars, Amiria.” Ramsey glances down the table at each of us, skipping over looking at Autumn entirely. “None of you are, actually.”
“Don’t chastise them! Like you never drank before twenty-one,” Mira yells back, face getting red as she looks over at the guy behind Ramsey and glares harder for a second before returning her attention to her brother. “You’re being a hypocrite.” Bentley reaches out, placing his hand on her shoulder and stepping in closer behind her. He glares at the guy behind Ramsey, body completely tense. The guy’s eyes track Bentley’s movement, staring down at his hand. Mira shakes it off, and I glance between her and the newcomer then over at Bentley whose jaw is clenched tight.
“That’s different. I didn’t have anyone there to stop me from making mistakes. You have me, so you’re not going to do the same stupid shit I did.” I’m certain he’s her brother after that remark, silently thanking my parents for not having more kids after me.
Autumn cuts in suddenly, snorting at Ramsey’s words. His eyes fly to her, immediately leaning back when he realizes how close they are. She openly glares at him from less than a foot away. “Oh please. Because sitting here in a bar having one drink is really going to ruin her life.” Tanner approaches from behind them as Ramsey and Autumn try lighting each other on fire with their minds. He carries three beers easily in his massive hands, passing one off to the guy behind me, then handing another off to the guy behind Ramsey.
“Figured Ramsey would be dragging Mini-Adams home,” he murmurs after sipping his own and making eye contact with the guy behind me.
“He will not be!” Mira looks ready to put up a fight and Ramsey turns toward her, matching the energy as they face off.
The guy from behind him steps forward, getting between the two and facing Ramsey. “Drink a beer, dude. Cool down, hang out.” He pushes his beer against Ramsey’s chest, who grabs it and chugs two-thirds in one go. “School’s been stressing you out too much. You’re burning out with all your pre-med classes and TAing.”
Autumn jumps in her seat, eyes flying to look over at Ramsey beside her, lips pursing but eyes less anger-filled than before.
“I'll take Mira home. The girl I was supposed to meet never showed up anyways. You guys stay and have fun,” the guy between Mira and her brother says.
Bentley leans forward, about to intervene with his fists clenched at his side, but Mira grabs the guy’s arm, seeming to give up the fight. “Whatever,” she says, jumping off her stool and subtly shaking her head at Bentley. He shares a look with her, and she pleads with him with her eyes. I look to the guy next to Mira and see him watching the exchange as well, mouth twisted to the side. What is his deal with Bentley?
Mira storms out, taking her stuff with her and the guy puts his hand on the table, looking around at us as he says, “Sorry guys, have a great night and don’t let this one spend the whole-time sulking.” He nudges Ramsey who grunts before disappearing after Mira through the front door.
Bentley stares after them and I glance over at Axel. He watches Bentley too, concern etched into the crinkles around his eyes and hard set of his mouth. Tanner comes around to stand behind Layla and me, and I notice Aria playing with the straw of her cup, glancing over my shoulder every now and then.
Ramsey moves behind Autumn, standing beside Axel who glances around at the new guys filling in our table.
“Bent,” Axe calls, nodding to the empty seat at the head of the table. “You going to take that seat?”
Bentley rolls his eyes at Axel and sighs. “No, Axe. You want it?” Axel scoots around Ramsey and plops down, smiling at the table as he does so. Bentley shakes his head, but a small smile sits on his face, and I see Layla notice it too, looking between the two of them before turning to look at me with wide eyes.
I look out the window, avoiding her gaze as Ramsey and Bentley start talking about sports and Autumn asks Tanner how the hockey team is doing so far. They get into an argument about the mascot, Aria even laughing along when Axel starts howling at the ceiling, making people look over from other tables in the now busy bar. I watch them all interact, sipping my soda and laughing along.
Until I glance over at my guys and notice Bentley’s hand.
It rests on Axel’s thigh casually, neither of them looking uncomfortable and enjoying the contact. But my eyes home in on the hand, mind exploding as I remember Bentley accusing Axel of using me to get back at him. And then I remember Axel telling me they slept together. All the looks between the two of them from tonight play through my mind and a twinge goes through the center of my torso.
My breath comes shallow, the noise in the room seeming to dim as the lights suddenly feel too bright and I jump up from the table.
Everyone looks over at me, Layla reaching out to touch my arm. “You okay, J?”
I nod, giving my practiced public smile. “Yeah, just need to get some fresh air quick.”
“Want me to come?” She starts getting off her barstool, but I quickly shake my head, avoiding looking at anyone else.
“No, it’s fine. I just need a sec.”
She nods and everyone goes back to their conversation as I pass between Tanner and the guy beside him, heading for the slightly ajar back door beside the bar.
Stepping into the cold night air, I breathe heavily, pacing the width of the small alleyway I find myself in. Images of Bentley and Axel, real looks passed between them, and things I've imagined of them wrapped together, reel through me, as I try to calm down. My hands go to my head, holding the sides of it and holding back my curls as I stare at the ground, trying to think clearly.
Was I always just in between the two of them, getting in the way when they both thought they couldn’t have each other?
Christopher calling me pathetic comes to mind and I feel the lance of the barb sink deep as I question what’s happened between them since the last time we were all together. They could hardly look at one another and now they’re exchanging charged looks and touching each other in public. Maybe they realized I was the wrench in the system.
The door opens behind me and déjà vu slams into me as I whirl around and find Bentley staring me down. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to get you alone, but you seem to make it rather easy for me each time,” Bentley says, chuckling as he steps into the dim alleyway. “What is with you and back doors?”
I stop pacing, as far from him as I can get in the limited space, and stare at him, hands still in my hair.
The humor leaves his face, and he closes the distance between us quickly. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m so stupid,” I whimper, staring up at him in the moonlight. “I’m the problem, aren’t I?”
His face clouds further, scrunching up as he tries to understand my panicked conclusion.
“The reason you and Axel fight is because of me, right?” I look away from him, going back to pacing, only heading away from him and then back toward as I rant. “I was always sitting between you guys, causing problems the whole time. You both knew you wanted each other, and I threw a grenade in the whole thing, coming in and causing problems by liking both of you, so suddenly you guys were fighting, and it was all because of me. You’ve both put it together, haven’t you?” The fault line fracturing up the center of my being, rumbles as I stop a foot away from him, finally dropping my hands in defeat and meeting his wide-eyed gaze.
His mouth hangs open a little as he stares down at me.
“You’ve both realized you’re better off together rather than one of you trying to get the girl and the other ending up alone. So, I'm the odd one out, right?”
“Sunshine,” he says softly, walking up to me and placing his hands on my shoulders. “You’ve got it all wrong.”
I feel my lower lip start to tremble, the back of my throat and bridge of my nose tingling. “It’s okay.” I sniffle, looking away from him. “I’m not going to plead or anything. I’ll bow out graciously, I'm just coming to terms with it right now.”
He shakes his head, whispering, “This is not going how I planned.”
I step back, but he doesn’t let me get far, stepping with me so that we stay chest to chest. I throw my hands up between us, landing on his pecs. “I get it, Bentley. Please just go so I can pull myself together on my own.”
“Absolutely not,” he says. One of his arms comes up, banding around my waist and pulling me further into him as the other wraps around the back of my neck, long fingers sliding into the back of my hair. Goosebumps erupt across the skin, but I only have a moment to process the feeling before his lips meet mine and we’re kissing. It takes even less time than before for me to respond in kind, digging my nails into his chest and feeling the rumble of his answering groan vibrate beneath my palms. He pulls away much quicker this time, only moving back an inch to look down at me, rubbing the tip of his nose against the length of mine as he does so. “Better, or still confused?”
I narrow my eyes on him, digging my nails in a little further. “This is your way of clarifying the situation?”
He shrugs, releasing my head and reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone, his other arm still squishing me against his chest. “I thought it was enlightening,” he mumbles with another shrug.
I roll my eyes and he puts his phone away after sending a text. His free arm joins the other, holding me against him while I drum my fingers against his chest.
“We just going to stand here now?” I ask, not even moving an inch away from him. Warmth radiates from him, oozing into me at every point of contact.
“Give him a moment,” he says, reaching his hands down to grip my ass.
Noise from the bar suddenly floods the alleyway for a moment and Bentley lifts his head, looking over mine. “Getting started without me, I see,” Axel drawls from behind me. My spine snaps straight, head turning to look at him as he leans against the closed door and lets his eyes roam over both of us.
“You were taking too long,” Bentley says with a smile, squeezing my ass. Axel’s eyes jump down, and he licks his bottom lip, watching Bentley’s hands flex. “Janette here is under the impression that we’ve decided to be together without her.” Axel’s eyes fly up to mine, mouth hanging open. “She thinks we’ve decided she’s a problem and that she’s the reason we’ve been fighting.”
“Oh, Blue, no.” He steps toward the two of us, and my heart squelches.
Bentley reaches up and snags my chin between his index and thumb, turning my head back toward him to look me in the eyes. “We were going to try to make this a slow seduction, but it seems like we need to clear some things up.”
Axel brackets me in from behind and he loops an arm around my waist, sliding it between Bentley and me. He hunches down and his chin lands on my shoulder. He pecks my cheek. “You are not a problem, Blue.” He steps in closer, and Bentley moves his hand off my ass to press against my lower back and rest against Axel’s stomach. “And you were not the reason we were fighting. I told you I was attracted to you in the stairwell. Do I need to reinforce the point?” He squeezes my middle and I stare into Bentley’s eyes, breath stuttering as I stand sandwiched between the two of them.
“Pretty sure my attraction is evident,” Bentley says, rubbing his finger along my jaw as he presses his hips into my stomach. The hard length of him rubs against me and my mouth opens at the contact, a moan escaping when Axel starts trailing his lips along the side of my throat. I tip it back, giving Axel more access, and close my eyes. Letting go of my chin and brushing my curls back, Bentley leans forward and nips the shell of me ear on the other side.
Already attuned to each other, they both pull back at the same time and a whine escapes my throat without my permission. I bite my lip, looking back at Bentley, who smiles down at me.
“We were fighting because we're both stupid, not because of you. It was never a jealousy or ‘fighting over you’ thing, sunshine.” Bentley pecks my lips, lingering a bit and nipping my bottom one when I pout.
Axel laughs next to my ear, cuddling closer into me. “I don’t think I ever even considered choosing between the two of you, if I'm being honest.”
I turn to look at him, rolling my eyes when he can see my face. “Of course, you didn’t.” He leans forward and captures my lips, slowly teasing them open before rolling his tongue against mine. I moan and he shuffles forward, meeting the brick wall that is Bentley.
Someone whistles at the mouth of the alleyway, and we all break apart instantly. My blood spikes with fear, as I glance around, seeing a laughing group of drunk kids passing by and not the flash of cameras my mind conjured up. The three of us glance between each other, the heat of the moment still present beside the adrenaline of getting caught. I lick my lips and both boys follow my tongue with their eyes.
“Maybe we should take this back to West Tower?” Bentley says, shifting his weight and running a hand through his hair.
“Let’s go,” Axel says, reaching forward and grabbing my hand before rushing toward the end of the alleyway.
“Wait,” I say, pulling him to a stop and grabbing Bentley’s hand with my other. “I need to go tell Layla I’m leaving.”
“Text her,” Axel says, before continuing on his way, pulling the two of us in his wake.