True Me (Fallen Brethren MC #6)

Chapter Fifteen

Cash

R IDING THROUGH TOWN , I make my way to the diner where I’ve placed an order for Rebel. She’s still having a hard time eating since her grandma’s death and Eagle and I have decided to ensure she eats several small meals throughout the day. Eagle managed to get her to eat an early lunch with Reagan and Zoey before leaving the clubhouse. He said she didn’t eat a ton of food, but she did get a few bites down. She did manage to drink her milkshake entirely though. Before today, she wasn’t even finishing her milkshakes. If there’s one thing our ol’ lady loves, it's a thick chocolate milkshake. If that’s what it takes to get something in her stomach, I’ll give her one every time we try to get her to eat. Anything to ensure our girl is healthy and not losing weight or letting her grief put her in the hospital. It’s not the best or most nutritious, but that’s okay. We’ll figure it out one way or another and get through this.

I’ve already been to Fallen Ink. I had to reschedule a client I’ve had several sessions with already to work on a complete back piece. He’s been really patient and understands how I work. I’ll sit with him for a few hours at a time before wrapping up. He gets the time to heal and then we have another session. This piece literally takes up his entire back, starts to wrap around his sides, and rounds the top of his shoulders. The bottom of it disappears in his pants which is why he wears a loose pair of shorts or sweatpants when we have a session. He doesn’t want to ruin what I’ve done and I don’t blame him. This is shaping up to be my best work so far and I love the piece he designed for me to put on his body permanently.

Parking my bike in front of the diner, I get off and head inside. The place is busy as I bypass all the tables and booths filled with customers and make my way to the counter to grab my takeout order. I’ve got the three of us dinner and we can eat at the club regardless of what’s going on when I get back. Rebel is upset about the mess and that’s only going to make her not want to eat more. She’ll put her entire focus on cleaning the place up and making sure it’s ready for when the doors open. That’s just her work ethic and something she’s had since she walked through the doors of the clubhouse with Pound. Even before she got the job behind the bar, Rebel would clean and work in the clubhouse when no one else was awake. When Pound first brought her in, Rebel didn’t sleep a lot. She had nightmares regardless of if she slept alone or if Pound joined her in bed. No matter what he tried, she wouldn’t be able to sleep a full night and we all tried to think of ways to help her without her knowing. That’s when Reaper suggested she start working behind the bar for us.

As I go to give the waitress my name, my phone starts to vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out and see Titan’s name on the screen and a sense of dread fills me.

“Order for Cash,” I tell the waitress while answering the phone. “Titan, what’s up?”

“Get the fuck back to Entice. Now!” he barks through the phone as I hear a ton of commotion on his end of the call.

“What’s goin’ on? Everythin’ was okay when I left and Eagle had everyone startin’ to clean the place up,” I ask him, my voice full of confusion at the panic I hear in his voice.

“Not gonna say shit over the phone. Get the fuck back here,” he says before I hear a loud crash and know this isn’t good.

There’s no point in responding when the line has already gone dead. I shove my phone back in my pocket and pull out my wallet to retrieve money. Pulling out a handful of bills, I toss them on the counter before looking at the waitress.

“Give the food to someone who needs it. Either someone here or a homeless person so they get a hot meal,” I rush out my words before turning and racing from the diner.

Straddling my bike, I immediately start the engine and take off toward the strip club. My mind is racing with a million thoughts and it feels as if my heart is about to beat right out of my chest. I can’t see anything on the road around me and I know this is dangerous as fuck because I can’t focus on anything and that’s when I’ll be more likely to get in an accident because I don’t see something another vehicle on the road is doing. Still, I manage to get to Entice and pull into the parking lot out front with other bikes of members from the club that usually aren’t here this early. A few cars are in the parking lot though I barely pay attention to them as I make my way inside.

Utter chaos is what I step into. Titan is trying to get the few customers out the door as they bitch and whine about being customers and having already paid the cover charge for the night. My eyes slide to the bar and I don’t see Rebel there. No one’s behind the bar as the strippers all stand on stage while Sloan and Kenna sit at the end of the bar that’s the furthest from the door. Several club members are walking through the place and mumbling about shit I can’t comprehend right now. Another loud crash sounds and I race toward Eagle’s office where I’m guessing the noise is coming from.

Stopping just outside the door that’s now hanging from the door frame at a weird angle, I find Eagle in the middle of destroying the entire place. Racing up to his side, I wrap my arms around his body and feel how bad he’s shaking as he starts to fight against my hold.

“I’ve got you, Eagle,” I tell him, not letting him go as his body sinks into mine in defeat and exhaustion. It’s almost like my voice has to break through some sort of haze surrounding him and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the truth. “You’re not alone and neither am I. We’re gonna get our girl back and bring her home where she belongs. I’m gonna watch what the fuck happened and we’ll go from there.”

Eagle doesn’t turn around as I head for his desk and look around to find Hawk entering the room. He’s not acknowledged by his brother and I have no doubt Eagle isn’t seeing him right now. He’s not seeing much of anything. Hawk rushes to my side and presses some buttons on the keyboard to rewind the footage filling the screens. I don’t even know what’s going on yet, but the feeling in my gut is telling me it has to do with Rebel and why I have yet to see her in Entice. When Hawk finishes rewinding to where the footage needs to start, I keep my eyes locked on the screens in front of us and my heart shatters in my chest. It skips a beat and the breath feels as if it's robbed from my lungs. I can’t breathe and my vision starts to fade with every second I watch Chad attacking Rebel. She can’t fucking fight back with her ankle lodged under the gate for the dumpsters.

“No!” I yell out as I watch Chad lift a limp Rebel in his arms and carry her off the screen as my legs give out and I sink to the floor behind the desk. “Fuck! Where is she Hawk?”

“I don’t know, Cash. I’ve been searchin’ through all the cameras throughout Clinton and haven’t been able to get a sightin’ of the car he took off in. Either that means he switched vehicles shortly after leavin’ the club or he somehow managed to make it look like he put her body in one vehicle while leavin’ in a different one. I’m not sure how he would’ve managed that one yet, but it’s a possibility,” he answers me as Reaper and several other members enter the office and look at the pure destruction Eagle’s created as the pain of losing our ol’ lady filled him.

“I want fuckin’ updates. Now,” Reaper barks out, his voice bringing me out of the haze starting to pull me under as Eagle finally gets off the floor and makes his way over to me. “Why the fuck was Rebel alone takin’ out the fuckin’ garbage when you all know Chad was out there and close to the club?”

“I didn’t know she was takin’ out the garbage. I left to deal with a few things at Fallen Ink. Yeah, I saw the bags in her hand, but I thought one of the guys would have taken them from her,” I answer, not putting the blame on anyone but needing Reaper to know I wasn’t here when this went down for some reason. Nothing seems right in my mind as I try to process what I’ve just seen.

“Where the fuck was everyone else?” Reaper yells as more guys fill the office and look around at everything that’s been shattered, thrown, displaced, and ripped from the walls.

“I was sittin’ at the bar and knew she was takin’ out the garbage. I thought someone was on the backdoor already,” Crow answers, hanging his head in shame and guilt as I let my eyes land on him as he tries to help Eagle remain on his feet while Hawk does the same for me.

“Hawk, what have you been able to find?” Reaper questions, moving further into the room while nodding at Savage to head out and I know it has something to do with Fawn.

“Not much. Like I just told Cash, I couldn’t find a single glimpse of his car as I searched through the cameras in Clinton. Not sure if he switched up vehicles or somehow got this to play on a loop to fuck with the camera footage. This is insane and shit I’ve never seen before. I’ve got a ton more work to do before I’ll be able to figure it out,” my best friend responds as he starts typing away on the keyboard once again but I can’t pay attention to what he’s doing.

“I don’t wanna bring Fawn into this shit just yet. Let her think we don’t know what she’s doin’ and that she’s involved in all this. For now, keep a close fuckin’ eye on her. I want everyone out searchin’ for any sign of Chad and Rebel. Cash and Eagle will be at the clubhouse with Hawk and Titan. For now, Entice is closed until further notice and I want a group to go through this place with a fine tooth comb. Find any fuckin’ evidence you can to figure out what the fuck is goin’ on and where Rebel is. Especially the parkin’ lot and where the dumpsters are,” Reaper orders, his voice echoing off the walls of Eagle’s office that’s been destroyed and no longer has anything on the walls to take away from the sound filling the room.

I t's been hours and we’ve come no closer to finding Rebel or any signs of her. Chad left absolutely nothing behind to find her, him, or where they’ve gone. Fawn has the answers and no one’s questioning her. No one is with her at all. She could lead us to Rebel and we could get her back quicker if someone was with her and she went to Chad. That’s what pisses me off the most. Almost as much as the fact that Reaper has essentially benched Eagle and me from being out searching for Rebel. He won’t even give us a reason why we can’t be out there on the road.

Right now, Eagle and I are sitting at the bar with a Prospect in front of us. Neither one of us are talking or looking at anyone. We’re sitting in silence as men come and go from the clubhouse in shifts. Titan and Savage separated everyone into groups or pairs and they’ve been going out to search for Rebel all over Clinton and the surrounding areas. Whenever one of them comes in for a short break, they go to Reaper or Titan and give their updates that we can’t hear. This is fucking bullshit!

“Reaper, what the fuck is goin’ on?” I finally yell across the room, making Reaper’s head snap up to look at me.

“Cash, we’ll let you know when we know. Right now, you and Eagle need to calm down and try to get yourselves together. If you don’t get your shit straight, you won’t be goin’ with us when we find Rebel. She needs you both to be strong and not losin’ your fuckin’ minds,” Reaper states, his voice hard and cold as he looks between the two of us as Hawk rushes out of his room and into the common room.

The ol’ ladies are in the kitchen trying to console one another. They don’t know all the details about what’s going on with Rebel, but all the women in this club are smart as fuck and realize something has happened. Especially when Eagle and I entered the clubhouse and she wasn’t with us. We don’t tend to leave her side unless she’s here sleeping in one of our beds. Even then, we try not to leave her because of her nightmares. The longer she has one of her nightmares, the longer it takes for her to bounce back from it.

“And you really believe that we’ll be able to calm down and focus on shit when we have no clue where our ol’ lady is?” Eagle turns around and questions his best friend and the President of our club. “Would you be able to calm down if you were in our shoes, Reaper?”

“Eagle, you’re both fuckin’ out of your heads right now. You destroyed your fuckin’ office. If there was anythin’ left to destroy, I can guarantee you Cash would’ve helped you finish it. Do you think this is what Rebel wants you to do? How she wants you to feel or act when she’s not here?” Reaper returns, his voice full of defeat as he looks between the two of us.

“It doesn’t matter how we act right now because she’s not fuckin’ here!” I yell out, my voice breaking as my emotions overwhelm me and I can’t control how I’m feeling after watching what the fuck Chad did to her before he took her away from us.

If I hadn’t left and dealt with everything on the phone, Rebel would still be with us. I wouldn’t have let her take out the garbage on her own. Rebel didn’t need to leave the building until it was time for us to take her home. Instead, I thought I was doing the right thing and instead our girl went missing.

Dropping my head to my hands, I let the tears slide down my face and land on the bar in front of me. Eagle rests his hand on my back and I don’t look up at him as I usually would. Another hand joins his and I have a feeling it’s Hawk. If anyone realizes what’s going through my mind right now, it would be Hawk. I’ve been best friends with him for so long we don’t need words to get through to one another. Eagle has been in my life long enough to also pick up on those cues from me by now and he’ll understand where I’m at in my head right now and how I’m blaming myself for our girl being hurt and taken.

“This isn’t on you, Cash. You have been at her side every second of the day and have to do what you gotta do in order to keep Fallen Ink on track and be there for your ol’ lady. You didn’t have the first clue no one would stop her from takin’ out the garbage after you left,” Hawk says, his voice low enough for only Eagle and me to hear as more guys come and go from the clubhouse or sit down with a plate of food in the common room.

“I was there and didn’t stop her, Cash. If this is on anyone, it’s on me. I was more worried about yellin’ at everyone for not doin’ their jobs instead of keepin’ an eye on our ol’ lady. We all dropped the fuckin’ ball in this situation and will have to do everythin’ in our power to make it up to Rebel when we bring her home. And we will bring her home. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that we’ll get her back and help her through everythin’ he’s currently puttin’ her through,” Eagle states, his voice strong and sure as I look over at him without lifting my head.

With a nod of my head, I lay my head down right on the bar and close my eyes. Images of Rebel fill me as I replay every second I’ve interacted with her over the years. Falling in love with her was slow and all consuming. I don’t know about Eagle, but every single time I heard her speak or saw her do anything, it made me want her more. Not sexually if I’m being honest. It made me want her in ways where she opened up and told me all of her secrets and shared everything about herself. The need to discover every single detail about her life filled me and I don’t know how the fuck I’ll go on if she decides she doesn’t want Eagle and I once we bring her back home. Neither one of us will force her to do something she doesn’t want to do, but I’ll fucking lose my mind if she decides we can’t protect her and aren’t strong enough to be in her life.