True Me (Fallen Brethren MC #6)

Epilogue

Rebel

Five years later

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED so much in my life and I have Eagle and Cash to thank for everything turning positive and starting to go my way.

With their encouragement and support, I did start seeing a therapist and she’s amazing.

I’m not seeing the same one as anyone in the club but I found one who specializes in those who have been kidnapped and tortured.

Honestly, she’s been through something very similar to what I’ve been through with Chad and Fawn.

It helped us bond and for me to trust her so much quicker than I thought I would.

Her name is Heaven and at this point I only see her if something happens and I need a session with her.

In the beginning I was seeing her three days a week and tapered it down to once a month.

After two years, I felt as if I could start to live on my own and trust my judgment and senses when it comes to various situations in life.

It doesn’t hurt that I talk to my men and they work through everything with me.

My nightmares have just about disappeared.

When I dream these nights, it’s all about my future with the men I love, building our family, and my found family in the members and ol’ ladies of the Fallen Brethren MC.

It took almost a year of working with Heaven, but she finally helped me defeat the demons in my head so every night is filled with anything other than visions of what has been done to me.

I do have PTSD from Chad and everything that happened between us.

That will never go away.

Heaven was instrumental in teaching me how to deal with nightmares and intrusive thoughts whenever they enter my mind.

Sometimes things happen without warning.

Sometimes it’s something small and inconsequential while other times it takes a lot for me to be thrown into any kind of episode.

Two and a half years ago, Eagle and Cash married me.

I got married to Eagle while going through a commitment ceremony with Cash.

That’s how they wanted it to happen and went along with everything else I wanted for our day.

We kept the ceremony small with just Crow, Hawk, Kendell, Reaper, and Alex there.

Everyone else was there at the reception and to help us celebrate our union.

Everything was in deep purple and white with wild flowers for my bouquet and candles for the center pieces.

Our night was very low key and exactly the way I wanted it to happen.

It was the best night of my life.

Especially when I got to smash cake in both of their faces.

Eagle and Cash did nothing but laugh in response while carefully feeding me bites without making a mess of me.

I’ve kept my job at Entice.

Eagle and I manage the club together while I also work the bar.

We’ve changed everything to be a better environment for the dancers and every member of the staff.

Everyone has to work together to clean the club every single night.

It’s not left to Sloan and Kenna or the bartender.

We hired two more people to work behind the bar with me.

They’re named Sally and Taylor.

Both of them are amazing and work well with me.

We can move around one another as if we’re dancing in a very small space.

The dancers all come in daily for practice and working out new routines with one another.

There’s no animosity or any of the bullshit we had before. Plus, Doc comes in once a month and checks the girls while also giving them drug and pregnancy tests. If someone fails a drug test, they’re gone immediately. I’ve taken on that role from Eagle so he doesn’t have to be an asshole to the girls or other staff.

Cash has taken Fallen Ink to the next level.

They’ve opened up three more shops and all of them are successful as fuck.

Once a month we travel to the other locations so he can check in on them while going over any potential problems with the employees at each spot.

Eagle and I always travel with him those days and we get in some time for the three of us when he’s not working.

I’ve gotten a few tattoos from him over the years and love every new addition to my body.

The original shop in Clinton is getting booked almost a year in advance for tattoos by each of the artists.

Less than a year and a half ago, I got pregnant with our first baby.

We didn’t really try to get pregnant but we weren’t doing anything to prevent it either.

Eagle and Cash were true to their word and never once pressured me to get married or have a baby.

So, when it finally happened, we were all over the moon.

My men were there for every single doctor’s appointment, ultrasound, and when I went into labor in the middle of the night during a snowstorm.

Our son, Beckett, decided to arrive during one of the worst storms in our history.

Beckett is a stubborn little boy, but I wouldn’t trade him for anything in this world.

Eagle and Cash spent my entire pregnancy checking my stomach every single day for any changes until my bump appeared out of nowhere.

Then they would lay between my legs and talk to the baby every single night before we fell asleep, each man taking their turn telling stories about our relationship, how we met, or just simple details about what happened during the day.

Stories were read to my stomach and music was played for the baby.

The day we found out Beckett was a boy, Eagle and Cash were so excited.

I thought they were going to share our news on a billboard in town.

Within seconds every member of our family knew what we were having.

I was so happy to watch them get excited and jump up and down and throw a party.

Now that Beckett is here with us, Eagle and Cash are there for every nighttime feeding, dirty diaper, and when he got sick a few months after he was born.

For a week our little guy was in the hospital on oxygen and all sorts of other shit.

It was the scariest time in our lives with him.

Eagle and Cash never left the hospital and watched every single time the nurses and doctors were in the room and close to our boy.

Hawk and Crow weren’t much better when they came to visit.

Our little man has his uncle and grandpops wrapped around his little finger and they dote on him.

Hawk wants Beckett to be close to his kids and we’ll make that happen.

Now, our boy is happy and healthy, growing like a weed and ready to conquer his milestones and to continue wrapping all of us around his little finger.

Right now, I’m currently in the nursery with my little man.

He’s wide awake after eating and getting a fresh diaper put on.

I’m rocking him by the window we have in the room where the moonlight can shine in on us.

This is my favorite time of day with Beckett.

It’s just the two of us tonight and I know the guys are awake and listening to us as I talk to my boy.

“You know, Mommy loves you.

Today we’re gonna have a big day.

You have to go to the doctor and get some of those nasty shots.

Then we’re gonna go have lunch with Daddy (Cash) while Dada (Eagle) goes to get the SUV from the shop.

We’ll be with Grandpops so we can get our errands taken care of.

I think we should go get you a few new outfits today too.

You’re growing too big for some of the clothes we have right now.

Are you excited to go out in town today, Beck?”

I ask my boy as I look down at him to find him smiling at me.

Beckett is such a happy baby and I know it’s just a matter of time before Eagle and Cash make their way in here to spend a minute with us before we lay him back down for bed.

He’ll only get up once more tonight and then will sleep until eight in the morning.

He’s been like this for several months now.

For our first baby, Beck is very easy and I couldn’t ask for a better one to learn how to be parents with.

Honestly, I’m almost ready for a second baby.

I haven’t told the guys yet, but it’s not going to take much to talk me into getting pregnant again.

Everything about this was easier than I thought it would be.

“Sweet Girl, how much longer are you gonna be here?”

Eagle asks, walking in the room and taking Beckett out of my arms. “We miss you in bed.”

“I miss you, too. However, this is my time with our guy and I don’t take it lightly. You guys have him when I’m at work. Well, you’re at work with me. But you get what I mean. Right now, I have him all to myself after feeding him after you’ve helped me change and feed him,”

I state as Cash follows Eagle into the nursery.

“We get it, Doll. However, we need our time with you too. We’ve all been so busy lately and now we want some time with our wife while our boy sleeps. He’s fallin’ asleep in his dada’s arms as we speak. Eagle will put him to bed while we go get things started in the bedroom,”

Cash says, pulling me out of the nursery and leading me straight to our bed while stripping me along the way.

It doesn’t take long for Eagle to join us in bed while making sure the room of the nursery is closed all the way and the monitor is on at our bedside. Soon, I’m consumed with the lust pouring through me as Eagle and Cash work my body like a finely tuned instrument. They work together easily and ensure I’m more than satisfied at the end of the night. Or morning depending on how much energy they have.

My men worship me until it gets close to the time we know Beckett will wake up again.

I more than return the favor to them as we all end up in a tangled mess of limbs with the blankets kicked off the bed.

We quickly shower and I put one of Eagle’s tee-shirts on with a pair of Cash’s boxers just before going in to find Cash already changing Beckett’s diaper as he talks to him.

Eagle joins us with a blanket to cover us when I sit in the rocking chair.

He worries about a draft coming and making Beckett sick again so he takes every single precaution he can to prevent it from happening.

One of the many reasons I love him and fall deeper in love every single day with these two men.

My grandma and parents would be so happy to know I have them at my side and that we’re starting a family of our own.

“How many kids do you wanna have?”

I ask Eagle and Cash as they take seats on the floor in front of us.

“Why are you askin’, Sweet Girl?”

Eagle questions, turning around to look at me with shock filling his face.

“I’ve been thinking about wanting another baby. Maybe not right now, but in the near future,”

I answer him, as Cash turns around so fast I’m surprised he doesn’t get whiplash.

“Yes. Anytime you wanna start tryin’, we’ll be right there,”

he states emphatically as I start laughing at his excitement. “Hopefully this time we have a little girl.”

“That would be nice.”

Until Beckett falls asleep, we laugh and talk about the possibility of having another baby.

It’s the most fun I have with the three most important men in my life.

Beckett might not be able to contribute much to the conversation, but his smile is more than enough to brighten up our day.

Once our boy is back in his crib, we make our way back to bed and finally fall asleep.

I dream of a little girl with Cash’s eyes and sense of humor and my height.

I envision Beckett being the overprotective big brother who will go out of his way to make his sister miserable during her teenage years and I wouldn’t want anything different in my life.

This is the path I’m supposed to be on.

Grandma’s life lessons have led me here and I can’t wait to see where the future takes our family.