21. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
B rody
Another report ruined. Why can’t I get my head on straight?
Heaving a sigh, I wad up the page and toss it toward the trashcan in the far corner. The projectile stops five feet short and dances in a graceful twirl onto the otherwise clean floor of the conference room.
“Fuck,” I groan and throw my head back. I can’t even discard garbage correctly. I’m a fucking mess.
Footsteps pull me out of my self-loathing. I look up to see Sera creeping toward the discarded piece of paper.
She picks it up, making eye contact with me. “Don’t mind me. Just going to put this where it belongs.”
I watch her walk away, surprise making me pause. “Have you been here the whole time?” I glance at her desk stationed in a corner of the room close to the entrance.
“Yep.” She throws the paper away and turns around. “You can keep writing. I’ll keep tossing.” Her smile falters as I don’t react. “Seriously, I don’t mind.”
“It’s five p.m. on a Saturday. You mind. Anyone would mind.”
Her shoulders fall. “Nick asked me to stick around and make sure you don’t do something stupid.”
“Me? Do something stupid?” I exhale and rub the heels of my palms on my eyes. Of course, I’m a source of concern now. I’ve given my friends every reason to think that about me.
It’s been a shitty week. Not for HEY, for me. But I should be happy. HEY got another client shortly after the Ross sisters’ case wrapped up. It was only a case of a missing puppy, but still it’s better than nothing. Everyone got a kick out of going to the pet store and playing with dogs in the name of finding our missing forever friend.
I wish I could say the same for myself.
I’ve been in a shit mood throughout and I’ve been a pain to be around. It’s no wonder the guys insisted I stayed back at our client’s home in case the puppy turned up instead of going to the field with them.
Well, I’m done being looked down upon.
“I won’t do anything stupid, Sera. You should go home.”
She stands there for forty-three seconds staring at me. I know because I’m counting. If I don’t keep my mind busy, I’d think and that hasn’t been going well for me lately.
She finally speaks her mind. “Is something wrong, Brody?” She’s been giving me uneasy glances all week so it’s about time. “Did something happen?”
“I’m okay.” My voice breaks. “Just fine.”
She steps closer, hesitation in her stilted motions. “If something’s wrong, you know you can talk to me, right? I’m great at listening.”
I doubt talking would resolve the turmoil I’m facing. Talking won’t bring her back . “Thank you. I’ll remember that.”
“Great.” She goes back to her desk and picks up her bag. “See you on Monday. Have a nice—well, try to feel better.”
I give her a two-fingered salute and listen as the door closes, leaving me truly alone. I sink in my seat and cover my face with my hands.
The fuck is wrong with me? I never get this way over anyone. People have come and gone in my life. I’m used to it. I expect it.
However, the Ross sisters worked their way into my heart in a way I could never have expected. Especially one. I can’t believe I miss arguing with Ivy. Maybe that’s why I’ve been starting fights with the guys over nothing. Yet, none of their rebuttals come close to what it felt like when Ivy was here to drive me insane.
Imagine I tell them that’s the reason I’ve been a mess. I can’t. Hell, I don’t even want to tell myself that so I’ve been writing and rewriting this report hoping I get through a page without messing up and scribbling her name.
The conference room door glides open. It’s nearly soundless but I’m used to it now.
“I thought I told you to go home.” Sera can be persistent when she wants. I don’t need that now. I need space to wallow.
“No, you didn’t.”
My head kicks up. It’s not Sera striding toward me. Nick leads the way with Zane right behind him.
“What are you guys doing here?” I ask. “Thought you went home.”
“Thought you managed to finish your report.” Nick picks up the latest page I’m struggling through. “Hey, are you doodling?” He laughs and hands the paper to Zane.
I rub my forehead. “You guys should go away.”
“Are you drawing a girl?” Zane gives me a look.
Another wasted paper. I snatch the paper, crumple it, and throw it in the trashcan. The evidence of my failures have piled so high they’re nearly spilling out.
“If you keep going this way, we’ll need a special budget for paper,” Nick says.
“I agree.” I plop back in my seat and make a shooing gesture. “That’s why you both need to get out so I can focus and finish up.”
“We are not your problem, Dum-Dum.” Nick attempts to smack the back of my head. I grab his hand just in time and give him a warning look. He chuckles. “We are your solution. You’re coming line dancing with us.”
I groan. “No.”
“Did I forget to say no isn’t an option? It’s either a yes or I’ll be happy to.”
“Not tonight.”
Letting loose on the weekends at The Tavern is one of my favorite things about coming back to Pine Peaks. It takes me back to our teen years when we spent our weekends dancing through the night until our moms dragged us out by our ears. Those were the days. Nothing is easier than getting lost in the already familiar steps, the music flowing through me.
I’m just not up for it tonight. I want to wallow in my unease, letting it eat at me until nothing remains.
“You drew hearts, too?” Zane picks up another paper from the table.
I dive for it. I don’t remember drawing hearts, but I don’t remember much of anything. I’ve been in a daze.
I shake out the paper to look at it but it’s plain. “There are no hearts.”
Zane shrugs. “I was just kidding.”
Nick laughs so loudly my ears ring. “Come with us or I’ll let Zane keep messing with you.”
I eyeball both men. “How could I say no to such a pleasant offer?” I snatch my jacket off the coat hanger and head out.
“Doodling and drawing hearts,” Nick sing-songs. “Does Brody have a girlfriend?”
I turn around so he runs into my hard chest.
He falls back, one hand around his midriff and the other held out. I hate the sound of his jolly laughter. “Fine. I’ll stop.”
Even Zane has a smile on his face.
I can’t believe they think this is funny. I also can’t believe they’re not mad at me for my sour mood. I wish they were. Then maybe they’d leave me alone.
The Tavern buzzes with an excited crowd. It’s a barn-shaped bar that hosts Saturday line dances for the people of Pine Peaks. The hum of many voices speaking over the loud music vibrates the air.
I feel like turning around and leaving the moment we walk in. I don’t want to be around all these people. I start to but Nick catches me in the act.
He thumps my back, turning me back around. “No. Stay for fifteen minutes at least. If you don’t like it, then you’re free to leave.”
My shoulders drop and I head for the bar. Fifteen minutes. I set a timer on my watch.
The bartender slides beer bottles our way. We grab them and turn around to watch the dance floor. The participants move in step to the music blaring from the speakers. The smiles on their faces and the brightness of their eyes nauseate me. I swallow a drink of the cold, bitter liquid, and look away.
“Come on. The song’s ending. Your favorite’s coming on.” Nick drags me from the bar and onto the dance floor. He puts me in between Zane and him as though I’m a flight risk.
The tune gains momentum and I frown at him. “This is not my favorite song.” It’s my least favorite line dance song, in fact. There’s a little jig in the middle that messes up my groove.
“I can’t hear you,” he shouts back.
I lean in but he leans further back, points at his ears, and shakes his head. The little shit .
The dance begins and I have no choice but to follow. My movements are slow and lackluster at first.
“Pick it up, Brody!”
I search the crowd for the person who said that but I can’t make anyone out. Not with my consistent movements and that of everyone around me.
A flash of brunette hair has my step stuttering.
Zane bumps into my side and grabs my arm. “You good?”
That can’t be Ivy. I know that but my mind is grasping at straws, forming her out of thin air.
“I am,” I tell him and attempt to keep my head on the motions.
Would she think this is ridiculous? Or would she join us if she were here? I can imagine her joining the dance only to prove that she’s better than me.
A smile twitches my lips. I definitely won’t let her out-dance me.
“Hey, is that a smile?” Nick claps my shoulder. “More of that.”
I shake my head but it’s already started. I’m not so angry anymore. Exerting myself this way, even with the jig I’m bad at, doesn’t feel so terrible.
The next song is an old crowd favorite. A cheer fills the air as the singer’s first note comes on, clean and clear. The next line is accompanied by a chorus of voices singing along.
I join in the song, raising my voice at the bass singer’s ho ho ho part, switching positions with Nick. The very next part usually gets everyone laughing. At the tenor’s ha ha ha we all bunch to the left, bumping into each other. Nick pokes me in my ribs and a bark of laughter leaves my lips. Before I can return the favor, we’re switching places at ho ho ho again. When the ha ha ha comes back around, I get my revenge.
Nick doubles over, laughing his head off. I almost envy his ability to display such unrestrained joy. My expression is usually short-lived. Even more so since she left.
I’m only given a moment to worry about that because the song is changing. A few participants switch out for newcomers. The woman at my side is replaced by a boy. No more than sixteen, if the low lights aren’t deceiving me.
He’s just like me and the guys were. I catch him watching my steps to follow the dance. I exaggerate them so he can get them quickly. He does and wears a big grin.
Soon enough, the music dies down.
“Thank you, sir.” His voice rises above the din.
“Sir?” My brows crinkle. “Give me a cane and a cigar while you’re at it, will you?”
He laughs. “My parents taught me manners.”
“They did good.” I thump his shoulder.
Maybe my age is really telling on me. I’m all danced out. I leave the dance floor behind, making way for others.
Only when I break out of the line do I spot my timer going off. The fifteen minutes was up ten minutes ago. I shut it off and grab another beer. I think I’d stick around for a while.
The partnered dance has started and Nick quickly finds someone to dance with. I won’t be surprised if he manages to convince the blonde to spend the night with him.
While my bed will be empty.
I rub the back of my neck to ease the tension cording up there. I can’t believe I only got to spend one night with her against me. If I could go back in time, I’d have let her to sleep on my chest for a few more seconds before leaving.
“Hey, handsome,” a voice says.
I roll the drink around in my grasp, watching the condensation roll down the sides. Ivy would never call me that. Probably idiot if she’s feeling generous.
“Hey. Brody.”
That snaps me out of my thoughts. I turn to see Kerianne looking at me.
“Where’s your mind?” She waves her hand in my face. “I’ve been trying to get your attention.”
I return my gaze to my drink. “Hey, Kerianne. How’s it going?”
She hops onto the barstool so she’s face to face with me. “Why are you moping around the bar when everyone’s out there having fun? Let’s go dance.”
“No, thanks.” I gulp a mouthful. “I’m all danced out.”
“Come on.” She quirks her blood red lips. “I’m not. And this one is my favorite.”
I glance back at the group. The partners have their hands pressed together and are moving around in a circle. I see a couple steal a kiss.
“Find someone else.”
“But I want you.” She pouts.
Irritation sours my mouth. I set the drink aside. “Go somewhere else, Kerianne.”
Her face falls. “Okay, now you’re just being mean.”
“I’m not in the mood.”
“Then you should’ve stayed home,” she snaps.
“I should have,” I concur.
Whatever she hears in my voice softens her tone again. “Come on.” She takes my hand in both of hers. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
Is this still about dancing? I turn and catch her with her lower lip between her teeth and a seductive glint in her eyes. Not about dancing then.
“Thanks, but no thanks.” I withdraw my hand and hold my drink instead.
“Really?” Her lips press into a tight line. “Fine.” She hops off the stool. “You may think you’re cold, Brody Hawke, but I’m colder.”
What does that even mean?
She struts off, head held high with her chest thrust forward. Half the men follow her with their eyes. Any one of them would fall over themselves to be her partner tonight. She wouldn’t even need to ask. Just a glance and they’d be drooling and doing her bidding like good little puppies.
I sigh and face forward. I can’t. Ivy and I made no commitment to each other, but it feels wrong to even think of another woman that way. When I close my eyes, she’s all I see. All the parts of her.
Angry Ivy. Happy Ivy. Sexy-as-fuck Ivy. Leaving Ivy.
I miss her.