33. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
B rody
Cold winds whoosh past my ears as I ski down the slopes. A figure sweeps by, spraying me with snow particles.
“Try to keep up, son,” Cliff throws over his shoulder.
I scoff. He’s only so good because he’s been skiing on these slopes longer than I have. He knows all the tricks to move as fast as he does.
But I have the advantage of raw, youthful power, so I speed up, digging my poles into the snow only long enough to get some leverage, and then I’m off again. Cliff is still ahead of me, but I’m gaining on him.
He turns his head slightly to the left, and seeing me, he picks up speed, too. For someone so old, he’s as strong as a nimble foal. My pace slows as I marvel at his expert curves and seamless movements.
Then, my eyes fall on the flag that marks the end of the slope. He’s almost there.
If anyone gets wind of this, namely Nick, that Cliff beat me at a race, I won’t hear the end of it.
Gritting my teeth, I race as fast as possible, closing in on him. The tricky bastard does a side swipe that ruins the path and forces me to arch wide.
A hearty laugh leaves me. A fair race cannot be found on these slopes when I’m racing against Cliff or my friends. Always someone pulling something.
He sails over the finish line, raising his poles and spinning around to watch me descend.
“You cheated,” I accuse, slowing down next to him.
“Zane would call it a useful advantage.” Cliff shrugged.
“And then I’d kick Zane in his shins.”
Cliff chuckled. “Yeah, let’s not do anything of that nature.”
“As long as you don’t tell Nick you won.”
“You know what?” Cliff muses. “Don’t step on my toes ever and I won’t tell him.”
I eye him for a moment. The shrewd man. “Deal.”
He laughs. “I’m getting good at this.”
“At being a pest like Ivy? Good for you,” I say dryly.
“Speaking of, where is she?”
I plop onto a bench and kick my ski shoes off. “Still asleep when I left her.” Anyone with eyes, ears, or a working cell can tell what’s happening between Ivy and me. I see no use in keeping it secret.
If I had the option, I’d shout it off the mountains. What I’m shouting, though, I’m not sure. We’ve fucked a few times? Yeah, that’s nothing. Means nothing. People fuck and forget each other’s names the next day. Hell, some people don’t even know the names of the people they fuck.
I blink up at Cliff.
He shrugs. “Where did your mind go?”
“Nowhere.” I nod to the terrain. “The after-holiday crowd is still a bit lively.”
“I’m not a child, Brody.” He sits next to me. “I know a change of topic when I hear one.”
“Change of what topic?”
“The topic of Ivy.”
“Oh, we’re still on that?” I dust off my boots. “She’ll probably have breakfast and work on whatever she works on while I’m gone. I’m sure she’ll be alright.”
He chuckles and looks up at the ski lift overhead.
“What’s funny?”
“You,” he says without missing a beat. “I remember I was young once with feelings too.”
“You know you talk in circles sometimes, right?”
“And you look right ahead without turning to smell the flowers. Sometimes, that’s where you need to be.”
“Around flowers?”
Cliff eyes me, clearly exasperated. “When are you going to tell her?”
I can’t even pretend not to know who he’s talking about. What, though, I’m not sure. “Tell her what?”
“To stay.”
I scoff a laugh. “Cliff, that’s crazy. She’s... she’s a city girl. Compare Denver to Pine Peaks. What’s the allure?”
But I’d seen the allure last night when her eyes lit up as she looked at the mountains. As she looked into my eyes.
“It’s not for our world-class city, Brody.” His voice is steady and quiet. “For you.”
“She doesn’t like me enough to even spend a full day in my presence. Imagine asking her to stay for me. That’d be crazy.”
Cliff’s face betrays no emotion. He says nothing as I try to convince myself Ivy doesn’t care about me.
Last night told me differently. One look in her eyes showed everything that lay beneath the surface. And it reflected the feelings I’d developed for her.
Still, our lives are going in separate directions. She has her job and her sister to look after. I have my company and my friends. I can’t let them down, and I can’t ask her to leave her obligations for me, either.
“You can’t decide for her, Brody. That’s not giving her the respect she deserves.”
“Yeah, I’ve learned that lesson.”
“So, will you speak to her?”
I glance at the lodge. Who knows where she is now? What she’s doing? There’s already so much on her plate. It’s my job to lighten her load, not weigh her down with more to think about.
“Not now. After things with her dad get sorted out.” I recall that she’s chosen to use herself as bait, and Cliff supports her. “After she makes it out alive.”
“She will.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You won’t let him hurt her.”
True. “I have my limits, Cliff. I’m a just a man. Running head long into danger doesn’t help either of us. If she gets hurt, if I’m unable to protect her, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”
“Because you care for her.”
“Of course I do.” The words leave before I can consider them. Then, I do. “So much.”
“Then trust she’ll be alright as you all do the best you can. Then afterward...”
“I’ll ask her to stay with me.”
A proud smile lights up Cliff’s eyes. “Attaboy.”
His certainty doesn’t ease the strain in my chest.
“I’m meeting up with Mom for lunch at Nancy’s.”
“Give my regards,” Cliff says. “I’ve got some work to do.”
I finish lacing my boots. “See you around.”
Mom’s already at the diner by the time I get there. She sits by the counter with Nancy, both locked in a conversation that makes them laugh out loud. If I could guess, they’re recounting the events in our small town.
“Hey, Mom.” I lean over and kiss her cheek.
“Brody,” she cheers, spinning on the barstool and throwing her arms around me. They don’t manage to squeeze me like they did when I was a boy, but her hug makes me feel warm, nonetheless.
“Hey, Nancy.” I wave at the older woman.
“Hey yourself. Where have you been hiding Caroline? She cracks me up like no one else.”
“Oh, stop.” Mom waves off her praise. “I’m just saying it how I see it.”
“Well, I certainly want to hear the news from my perspective.”
Mom laughs again.
I smile at her. It’s nice to hear the sound so full and unrestrained. It was a bit more muted when I was growing up, and she worried about me constantly.
“Come on, Mom. Let’s grab a seat.”
“Choose your meals. I’ll be with you in a moment.”
After Mom and I settle in, Nancy arrives and takes our orders, lingering to chat with Mom for a moment. I almost pity the other tables waiting for their service.
Finally, we’re alone.
“Tell me everything.” Mom taps my hand. “How is the firm? How are the boys?”
I tell her all about it. It isn’t much different from when we speak on the phone, only now I can give her silly details like the little spats between Zane and Sera and how Nick is infernally annoying.
“Nick is a sweetheart.” Mom presses her hands to her chest, her face soft.
I quickly moved the conversation along. Our meals arrive, and we speak around hearty mouthfuls.
“You told me that Ivy is back. What is happening with that?”
Thankfully, Mom, unlike Cliff, is more interested in the case than in the non-relationship between me and Ivy.
I tell her where we’re at and what Ivy plans to do.
Her eyes are warm and understanding. “So how does all of this make you feel?”
I exhale, my shoulders sinking. “Frustrated. I don’t want Ivy getting hurt. What kind of security firm do I run if I’m endangering the lives of the people I should be protecting?”
“Sure that’s the only reason?” She raises a brow.
Oh, for Pete’s sake. I take back my thanks because she’s just like Cliff.
“What else could be the reason?”
“Maybe she’s more important to you than other clients.”
“There’s no favoritism in our security firm, Mom.”
“It could simply be that your heart has chosen its favorite and there’s nothing to be done about it.”
I sigh and rub a tired hand down my face. When did I become obvious? Mom is all the way across town. I doubt she’s seen me with Ivy because I sure as hell haven’t given her those details. Yet, she’s spelled the situation out better than I could articulate.
My heart’s favorite. Ivy would sneer if she heard those words from my lips.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” Mom has a satisfied smile on her face.
“What?”
“You’re smiling. You’re thinking about her.”
“Ugh.” I run my fingers through my hair. “Whatever you’re thinking, just stop. Ivy and I would never work. This is just a...” I grasp for a description that minimizes how my heart thumps when I look at her, “a... thing.”
“Mm-hmm.” Mom’s knowing smile grows. “Call it whatever you want but you’d have to face the truth of it very soon, Brody. You like her. I’m sure she likes you too. I saw it that very first day at the bakery. She couldn’t stop staring at you. I almost felt like I was intruding on a special moment.”
“Mom.” I look down at my clutched hands, my face warming up. Leave it to my mom to make me feel like a kid with his first crush. “It’s not—”
“I don’t care what it’s not. I care what is.” Her gaze softens. “You’re a good man, Brody. I know. I raised you. And you’ll make a good woman happy someday. Someday could also be today.” She pauses. “Or in the coming days. Whatever. But don’t throw it away.” Her eyes drift into the distance. “Sometimes we get one and that’s all we get.”
She’s probably thinking about my dad. My heart squeezes. I lean forward and take her hands in mine. “Sometimes we have all we need right from the start.”
“Sweet.” She gives me a small smile. “But you know what I mean. Don’t let her get away because you’re too headstrong to see what’s right in front of you.”
“You could have stopped at ‘away’ and the sentence would have still been completed.”
She laughs and flicks the back of my hand. “Will you tell her how you feel?”
I exhale and recline in my seat. Twice in one day, I’ve been asked to address this thing between me and Ivy. I told Cliff I would, but thinking about it now, doubts cloud my head.
What if Ivy rejects me? What if my confession sours the time we’ve already shared? So many what-ifs.
Giving the advice is easy. Executing it is much harder.
I glance at Mom’s reassuring face. What do Cliff and she see about Ivy? They’ve never endorsed a woman for me like this. My heart has never needed a woman like this, either.
Maybe they see something I don’t. Perhaps I should listen.
Doubts still niggle at me. And mulling over the matter doesn’t clear it up one bit.