6. Harlowe
CHAPTER 6
HARLOWE
G ood morning.
That was all the text said when I got it earlier this morning. I mean yeah, it was a good morning. Things had been running smoothly and I’d had the best sleep I’d gotten in a while, likely due to the fact that I hadn’t had sex like that… ever, probably.
I’d had sex. Sure. Had a few boyfriends or guys I was dating semi-regularly, but the intense attraction that I’d had with Brooks had taken that to another level. I’d slept and almost overslept. After the way I’d hurried out of there, I tried not to be embarrassed after the fact.
How the hell could I look at him knowing what that mouth—or those hands—had done?
Ugh. I dropped my head against the desk in my office. I’d been in here since I’d seen the first Briggs brother come through the door. Now, seeing Cobb was fine. I knew Cobb. We’d been in school together, since he was only two years older than Camden and me. Still, where there was one, there could be more.
“Hey, Harlowe.” Jazzlyn was leaning against the doorjamb with her arms folded across her chest. Jazzlyn had worked here for a few years and was good. She was a single mom in her thirties and loved that I didn’t care if she brought her kid in with her and sat him at a table when she was short a babysitter. Or if her mom’s shifts at work and hers overlapped.
She lived with her mom for the very reason of being a one-income single mother and having the help. I knew that I couldn’t ever be in that situation because I didn’t have the backup. There wasn’t a chance in hell my parents would help me like that, nor would I want them to. It was a miracle I’d turned out as well-adjusted as I was.
“What’s up?” I asked, but my face was still pressed against the desk.
She snorted. “Everything all right in here?”
I raised my hand to give her a thumbs-up then picked my head up. “Dandy. How can I help?”
“Oh, Camden is here with some of her brothers. You usually like to know when she comes in if you’re here.”
“Yup.” But my stomach and chest tightened. “‘Some of her brothers’?”
She nodded as she released her arms. “Yeah, there’re three guys with her. She has four brothers, right?”
“Yup.” Hopefully, the right brother was missing. Though sometimes people thought Jenner was another brother, it didn’t happen often and Jazzlyn didn’t pay enough attention to know who was who. Baseball wasn’t her thing and she only knew the guys because they came in here semi-often. “I’ll be right out.”
She left so that I could have a mini freak-out.
What if Brooks was out there? How would he act? How would I act? Yesterday had to mean nothing because he was with women all the time. It couldn’t mean anything to him, right? So it wouldn’t mean anything to me. Plus, knowing how pissed off Camden would be if she found out was a serious deterrent.
I couldn’t lose my best friend—the only friend I cared to hang out with on a regular basis and told almost everything to—due to a one-night—or daytime—mistake. She’d never know and everything would be fine. There was exactly zero risk that he’d tell her, so as long as I didn’t crack, everything would be fine.
On my way through the kitchen, there was an order for pickup, so I grabbed it and called out that I was taking the order. Once I was through the door, I glanced over at the big table to see Camden with her brothers—minus Brooks—and their girlfriends. Perfect. I let out a sigh of relief then I dropped it at the right table and noticed the one beside it, needed to be washed off.
My staff was good, so chances were, Jazzlyn just hadn’t gotten back to it yet. After reaching around the bar to grab a cloth and the cleaning solution, I sprayed the table and wiped it down. As I did it, my phone buzzed in my back pocket.
When I pulled it out and saw who it was from, I sighed.
Brooks had sent me another text saying good morning . Nothing else. Or at least not that I could see since I’d only read the preview and not the actual message. Instead, I put it back in my pocket and considered the fact that I was going to have to block him. Not because I thought he’d be relentless, but to curb my own impulses.
Because I desperately wanted to reply to that text, but the problems that would occur if I did stopped me.
Brooks Briggs couldn’t be allowed to sidetrack my life. I was focused. Right now, the priority was to save enough money for the down payment to buy this place from my parents. This is what I wanted. A man couldn’t get me off-track, no matter who he was or how long I’d wanted him.
He was a one-time mistake that I wouldn’t be repeating. Besides, Camden wasn’t wrong to dislike baseball players. They were sexy, but they were mostly all the same and that wasn’t a life for me, even if he wanted that with me. And I wasn’t thinking he did.
It had been one time.
After taking a deep breath, I calmed my nerves and headed to their table. Time to act normal.
Brooks’ brows furrowed as I kept the fake grin on my face as best I could while taking all their orders and got the hell away from him as quickly as possible.
No way would I be delivering that order. Things could get back to normal.
Except a month later, I didn’t feel normal. I felt like hot ass and not in a good way. People said summer colds were the worst, but for me, the summer stomach bug took the cake. I was so tired that I’d had people cover for me at work the last couple of days. Yesterday, I’d thrown up every time I’d tried to eat anything. Even toast.
I was ready for this bug to be gone.
So when there was a knock on my door, I thought about just staying on the couch. Whoever it was could go away and leave me to wallow in misery alone. I even pulled my blanket over my head as if to hide, but I missed the breeze of the fan I had blowing directly on me, so I pulled that back down.
Then my phone buzzed. It was Camden.
Are you home? I’m at your apartment, but you’re not answering. Where are you?
I groaned. I’d been ignoring everything for the last couple of days, but I had told her I wasn’t feeling well, though I’d rejected the idea that she come take care of me. Apparently, that had only lasted so long.
As much as I didn’t want to and as much effort as it took, I pushed myself to get up off the couch and go to the door. When I finally opened it, Camden’s eyes widened in surprise. I don’t think she thought I was here.
“You’re home,” she said as she stepped into my apartment.
“Yeah. I just didn’t want to answer the door. I’m tired.” I shut it and moved back over to curl up on the couch.
“I’m sorry. You’re really not doing too good, huh?”
“Nope. I picked up a stomach bug. Probably at work.” Because people didn’t always cover their mouths when they coughed, which was disgusting. “I thought it was food poisoning at first, but it’s lasting too long and I didn’t eat anything that should be able to give you food poisoning.” Actually, the day I’d gotten sick, I hadn’t eaten anything because my stomach hadn’t been feeling right.
“Is it getting better?” She sat on the chair farthest from me. Honestly, I’d have done the same thing. She could be here for her friend without getting too close.
“It comes and goes,” I explained. “Sometimes, I feel all right, then others… not so much.”
“OK.” She slapped her hands against her legs. “What can I do for you? Clean? Make you something to eat?”
I gagged involuntarily at the idea of eating.
“Sorry.” She snickered. “I’m not the best cook, so should I get you something to eat?”
I snorted. “Your cooking is good. It’s the general…” I stopped to swallow back what was trying to happen. “Idea of food.”
Nope. I wasn’t going to be able to fight it off. I lurched up from the couch and ran down the hall to the bathroom because I was going to throw up either way and I’d rather not do it in front of Camden.
But nothing came up. It was all dry heaves at this point because I hadn’t eaten anything in days.
Once I’d gotten back to my couch, I pulled my legs under me. “Sorry about that.” At least I hadn’t had a fever with any of this. It was just a couple of days.
“You know, you said you weren’t feeling good for a day last week too.” She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes like she was trying to figure out a great mystery. “Is there any chance you’re pregnant?”
“No.” The answer came so immediately that I didn’t have to think about it, but then my blood chilled and my eyes widened as I looked at her.
“There is, isn’t there?”
A wave of a different kind of nausea crashed over me. Shit. I suppose there was. I mean, Brooks had used a condom, so I assumed the chances were low, but unless you just fully abstained, which I had done for months before him, there was always a chance.
Camden watched as I went through an entire boat of emotions. “There is, isn’t there?”
As my bottom lip trembled at the idea of it, I nodded my head. Tears were threatening to fall, but I could fight those back. No need to get all worked up when I didn’t know what was happening. It probably wasn’t true. Maybe he’d given me mono or something.
The problem was that I wasn’t sure.
“All right.” She stood and grabbed her purse, which was still hanging around her body. “I’ll skip the chastising about safe sex and go get you a pregnancy test.”
“Wait.” I reached out to her but wasn’t close to actually touching her. “What if someone sees you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Do you think I care?” Then she giggled. “Besides, imagine the heart attacks my brothers would have. That alone would be worth it. Maybe I’ll post a pic of me buying it on social media so they’ll see it.”
My stomach roiled again. If she did that, Brooks would see it and demand to know whom Camden had been with. She’d have no choice but to tell him it was for me and while I hadn’t spoken to him in slightly over a month, he’d put it together.
“Please, don’t. People will ask questions,” I told her. “Then you’d have to either tell them the truth or lie. Neither option is great.”
“Fine.” She sighed long and dramatically. Normally, I’d be on board for her to mess with her brothers, but right now, I had to see a negative pregnancy test.
Camden left then was back twenty minutes later telling me it was time to pee.
We were standing in my bathroom looking at the instructions when I asked her, “Have you ever taken one before? How does this work?”
“No idea,” she said, moving the paper to get a better look. “I’ve never taken one. Have you?”
“No.” And I hated the fact that I had to now.
“Well, I’m guessing you pee on it,” she said, as if that weren’t totally obvious. “Just pee on it and let’s see what happens. I bought two packs, so we’ve got some room for error and it’s going to say pregnant or not pregnant. While you go, I’ll see how long we have to wait.”
Nodding, I moved so that she could leave the bathroom. We were close, but she didn’t need to be in here while I peed on a stick or while I had a complete freak-out.
What if I was pregnant? Camden would find out that I’d had sex with her brother. She’d hate me for that, given that the one thing she hated was someone who pretended to get close to her just to get closer to one of her brothers.
Now that wasn’t the case here, but she’d absolutely see it that way. As if I’d played the long game when really, no matter what my feelings for Brooks were, I’d been resigned to nothing ever coming from it.
If only he hadn’t kissed me and shattered all that resolve in the blink of an eye.
“Done,” I called out once I’d gotten the top back on the pregnancy test and finished up. I was washing my hands when she came back in.
“Three minutes,” she told me as the two of us stood over the damn stick.
“I can’t just stand here watching it. Let’s go get a snack.” For some reason, I felt like I might be able to eat something or, at the very least, drink something.
Once we’d gotten to the kitchen, I grabbed an applesauce cup and a bottle of water. Camden did the same, then we sat at the little table I had in silence. Until she said, “So, who’s the guy?”
I shook my head. “No way. Not until I find out if I’m pregnant and honestly, not even then.”
She snickered. “That embarrassing?”
“You have no idea.”
Though Brooks wasn’t embarrassing, exactly, the fact that I’d given in so easily was a little. I’d wanted him for so long and all it had taken had been a kiss for me to potentially throw a lifelong friendship away.
“Is it anyone I know?”
I shook my head. “I’m not telling you, Camden. Not unless I have to and right now, I don’t have to.”
She scowled. “As best friend, I’m supposed to have access to the juicy bits.”
After putting my applesauce cup down, I nodded. “Sure, you are, but that means I do too. So tell me, Camden Briggs, why do you hate baseball players so much?”
She winced. “I guess we’re allowed some secrets.”
Exactly. She didn’t want anyone to know that and I couldn’t let anyone know this. Not yet. My phone alarm went off, letting me know that the test was ready. I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as I tried to convince myself it’d be negative, though there was something nagging at the back of my mind that my entire life was about to be derailed.
When I didn’t move, Camden asked, “Do you want me to go look?”
That was an interesting consideration, but no. I needed to see it myself. “I’ve got it.”
The walk to the bathroom was a slow one, as if I already knew that my life was about to change. When I picked up the pregnancy test, I saw that it was true.
No matter how much I willed it, the word not wasn’t in front of pregnant .
I was pregnant.
I was pregnant at twenty-one.
I was pregnant at twenty-one with my best friend’s brother’s baby.
Now, I wanted to cry for real, but I wouldn’t. Instead, I took a deep breath three times before Camden called out, “The suspense is killing me.”
Right. She was here, so there was no way around telling her right now. And I was glad she was here. If there was one thing that would always be true about Camden, it was that she took care of her friends.
I walked back out there in a daze with the pregnancy test in my hand. As soon as she saw me, she said, “Pregnant.” A statement. Not a question. All I could do was nod. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah.” A tear escaped and ran down my cheek, causing her to hop up and pull me into her arms.
“It’s going to be OK, Harlowe. No matter what you decide to do, it’s going to be all right.” In that moment, I wanted to believe her, but none of this was OK.
When I pulled back, I took in a cleansing breath. Now, there were decisions to be made because there were options, but I already knew that I was going to have this baby. That wasn’t the decision I was thinking about.
It was telling Brooks. I hadn’t talked to him in over a month since that day and he seemed fine not hearing from me. Was he going to be angry?
If he was, it should be at himself. He’d been there too. They were going into September, a pivotal time for the team and a terrible time to drop news like this on any player. They were focused on the playoffs.
Still. He had a right to know.
“Are you going to tell me now?”
I furrowed my brows. “Tell you?”
“Who? Where? When? I mean, I can guess the when. Four to six weeks ago, but come on. Give your best friend the details.”
Well, shit. She knew I was pregnant and if she said something in front of her brothers… I had no idea what would happen.
I grabbed her arms firmly. “Camden, you can’t tell anyone.” Especially your brother went unsaid. “Please. Let me sit with this for a little bit. I have to tell the father. Please.”
She blinked four times like she was confused, then said, “Of course I won’t tell anyone, Harlowe. This is your thing. I’m here for you, though. No matter what. None of my brothers has seen fit to make me an aunt, so this is as close as I’m going to get, at least for now. I’m not going to tell anyone.”
If only she knew that one of her brothers had made her an aunt.
Given that today was Saturday and a night game, I went to Brooks’s house hoping to catch him. Everything inside of me screamed to wait until after the playoffs, but that was another two months. I couldn’t do that to him. He had a right to know immediately.
He wasn’t there, so at first, I wasn’t sure where to go. The field was the obvious answer, but I couldn’t get in. I didn’t have the family pass that Camden did, but I went that way anyhow. If nothing else, I could check in at the bar.
Just my luck. Brooks was walking in alone as I was pulling up, so I stopped my car at the curb, not caring if it was no parking or not and hurried over to him.
His face hardened when he saw me.
“I need to talk to you,” I told him.
“No, you don’t,” he said back before starting to walk again.
I sighed. “Yes. I do.”
He turned toward me. “Harlowe, you didn’t want to talk about it before, so I’m not talking about it now. It was a one-time mistake. You’ll need to move on.”
I stepped back as if his words had slapped me in the face.
Me? Move on? That was all I’d done for the last month. Made sure to stay away from him. Tried not to even wait on them when they came in.
Move on? I was so far moved on that this pissed me off.
Slowly, I walked away. “Fine,” I told him. “But don’t say I didn’t try.”
Then I jogged back to my car and hit the gas, causing my tires to squeal. If he didn’t want to talk to me, then he didn’t get to know that I was pregnant.
I could do this on my own, even if it derailed everything that I’d had planned for my life.
All I knew was that I wouldn’t be trying to contact him again.