16. Brooks
CHAPTER 16
brOOKS
H arlowe’s first night here—yes, I was hoping it’d be a first of many—went more smoothly that I thought it would. Having her sleeping in my house made my chest swell. Now, maybe it wasn’t the way I wanted it to be, but I’d put all that aside for my kid.
What I wanted didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was what was best for our kid and fuck, I wanted to tell everyone about the baby. Harlowe seemed to want to wait, though we hadn’t talked about it. She was so damn worried about what Camden was going to do, but my sister would have to learn to live with it because I wouldn’t stand for her treating Harlowe any particular way that wasn’t good just because of this.
After getting dressed—no shower needed because I’d taken one after the game—I headed downstairs for breakfast. Some days were two shower days, but today wasn’t one of them. I was still fresh.
Harlowe was already in the kitchen, sitting on the stool at the island with a cup wedged between the two of her hands, staring at what was inside as if it held the answer to all of her questions. It was like she hadn’t heard me come in.
“What’re you doing up so early?” I asked. It wasn’t exactly early, but I had to work out before getting ready for the game. Most of the time, I did it at the clubhouse because there was no reason not to, but if she was going to be around more, I’d do it in the gym downstairs.
“I didn’t know what time you were going to leave this morning and didn’t want to hold you up.” She finally looked away from the coffee she’d been holding.
“‘Hold me up’?” I asked as I grabbed a cup of my own.
“Yeah. I need a ride. I’m not walking all that way.”
I furrowed my brows as I took that first delicious drink of coffee. “Ride where?”
She grinned as her head tilted. “To my apartment. I should’ve driven myself here, but you were demanding last night, so I didn’t think of it.”
I had been demanding last night and thought I’d get more of a fight from her than I had.
“I’ve got things to do,” she continued. “Work.” There was a twinge in her voice when she said she had to work.
It must have been hard to walk back into that place, a place she’d been working at and toward for years, now that she knew she wasn’t going to get it. It’d all kind of been for nothing. If I thought she’d let me, I’d lend her the money myself or hell, buy it for her. That could be a push present right?
There wasn’t a chance in hell Harlowe would accept that.
“Yeah, I’ll take you on my way to the field.”
“Perfect.” She swung her legs off the stool and hopped down all at the same time. Harlowe was on the shorter side, so her feet had been dangling in the air.
“I’m not leaving yet,” I told her, fighting a smile. As if she were in too much of a hurry to get away from me. It was funny, but at the same time, my neck was suddenly stiff and my body warmed more than it should have just from the coffee.
Harlowe turned toward me, those golden eyes looking up. She had her hair pulled up in a bun, but there were tiny pieces falling all around and I couldn’t decide if that was on purpose or if she just hadn’t taken the time to make sure all of the hair was up.
She wasn’t showing yet and fuck, could I not wait until the day there was a baby bump right there for everyone to see. It was too early for that, but something had definitely changed about her. Her breasts were fuller. Her already curvy body had a new softness to it.
Maybe not everyone would have noticed, but I’d watched her intently for years. She’d been sexy to begin with. Now… fuck. This was going to be hard because I wanted her, but she wasn’t mine.
“You’re coming back tonight,” I said, but it sounded like a direct order, which had her placing her hands on her hips and scowling at me. I snorted quietly and fought back a grin. “I mean, you’re coming back tonight, right?” As she opened her mouth like she was about to protest, I cut her off and said, “We still have some talking to do, don’t we? Plus, I’d prefer you stay here until you’re feeling better. I’d like to be there for you.”
Her face softened as she took in what I’d said. “You make it hard to tell you no .” Now my full-chest laugh came out. That had been the plan, hadn’t it? “All right,” she said, finally giving in. “I’ll be back, but I have to work today and you know the morning sickness could last the whole pregnancy. Am I supposed to stay here the entire time?”
Nodding, I said, “Absolutely. I’m not joking when I say I want to be in it with you.” In more ways than she knew about.
Rolling her eyes exaggeratedly, she asked, “Did I tell you my due date?”
Scouring my brain for every tidbit of information, I realized that she hadn’t. “No.”
“It’s beginning of April. You probably won’t even be in Michigan then.”
Well, shit. She wasn’t wrong. First, we had spring training until the very end of March then usually our first games aren’t in Michigan. “If I’m not in Michigan, then you’ll be in Florida for spring training or can go wherever we are.”
She shook her head before I finished. “I would never be allowed to travel then—plus, I’m not giving birth somewhere I’ve never been with doctors I’ve never met. I’m not doing that.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have said it.” Because asking a woman to do any of that was ridiculous and in my defense, I hadn’t asked. I’d just said she was going to do it, so that was probably worse. “I’ll figure it out, but I’m going to be there. Unless you tell me I can’t be.”
We weren’t together, which meant she might not want me in there watching as she pushed our child into the world. I wanted to be, but in the end, it was up to her.
She rolled her eyes again. “No. You can be there. You’ve seen it all and that’s one thing I kind of don’t want to do on my own.” She pulled at the hem of her shirt like that was hard for her to admit. Her mom wasn’t someone she’d want there. Even I knew that. The only other person I could think of was my sister if they were on good terms at that point once Camden found out she was pregnant with my baby.
“Good.” At least that was settled. “Send me calendar invites for all of your appointments. Even if I can’t go, I want to know they’re happening.” She nodded in agreement. “And we’ll figure Camden out. She’s going to be pissed, sure, but she’ll get over it. You’re like a sister to her.”
Though if I could have my way they’d be sisters-in-law which was a type of sister.
She visibly cringed, her shoulders almost meeting her ears. “Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. If that were true, I’d be your sister, too.”
I grunted. “Definitely not my sister.”
“I’m going to go get my bag, so I’m ready when you are.” She turned and started for the stairs. I didn’t mind the view as she left.
“You want breakfast?”
“I could eat,” she called over her shoulder.
While she packed her bag, I made scrambled eggs and this bacon that was already cooked, so I just had to throw it in the microwave. It wasn’t my favorite meat on a game day, but I wanted the extra protein and it only took minutes. Then I quickly made some toast and had plates on the table by the time she got back down. My heaping helping of eggs dwarfed hers, but I was a lot bigger and didn’t think she’d eat much, if last night’s dinner was any indication.
By the time Harlowe had come down the stairs, I was on my way back to the table with the orange juice.
“Don’t pour me any,” she said right as I was about to.
“You don’t like orange juice?” I poured it into my glass instead.
“Love it. Just can’t drink it in the same meal as I eat eggs.”
As I sat down, I was confused. “Is this like a foods can’t touch each other thing?”
She shook her head. “It’s a baby makes me throw it all up if I do it thing.”
Noted. I’d remember that for next time. Instead, I took her glass to get her water then came back to the table, where we both ate rather quickly. I had the time, but it didn’t seem like she did.
We only talked about the game tonight on the way to her apartment. It was a safe topic and while I thought we were in a good place baby-wise, I didn’t want to chance an argument before I had to leave her.
Once she was inside, I headed to the field.
I had just come out of the therapy room, where I’d met with the trainer about my knee, when Silas slid in beside me. It’d been a couple of months since I’d strained it, but they didn’t take any injury lightly. After all, they were paying me a shit ton of money to play this game and they weren’t going to let their investment get worn before its time.
“I kind of expected to hear from you last night,” he said as we walked down the hallway to the room where we usually met before the game to go over things like game plans, strategies, and the other team’s starting pitcher. Our manager would let us know if there were any changes on our side as well.
“Sorry, Princess. Didn’t have time,” I said, but I kept my eyes forward and my pace steady. Any change and he’d give me shit.
Silas chuckled. “I just want to know what happened, man.”
“With?” Though I didn’t need to guess. There was only one reason he’d ask me without our other brothers around and that was because it was about something only he knew, which meant it was about Harlowe.
“The way you tore out of here yesterday morning… I knew you were going to talk to her. Then you did the same thing after the game when we all knew she’d run off to puke. So, spill. What happened?”
I shook my head and wasn’t going to say anything because Harlowe didn’t want Camden to know. But he’d already put it together and I could use my brother at this moment.
“OK…” He dragged the word out as we turned the corner, but this time, I did slow down. This conversation needed to be over before we got to the other guys. “Is she at least really pregnant?”
“Yeah.” Then I stopped. “She’s worried about how Camden is going to react, so I need you to keep this part between us. Not even Urban or Cobb. They might not mean to tell anyone, but they will. At least their women. Then everyone knows but our sister and that won’t end well.”
“Promise.” He held up three fingers, as if he’d ever been a Boy Scout. “Not even Amity.” I raised an eyebrow. That, I didn’t believe. “I’m not shitting your dick, man. I won’t tell her. When she finds out I knew, she’ll be annoyed, but she’ll understand.”
“Thank you.” I turned to start walking again but thought better of it. “And don’t ever talk about my dick in any capacity.”
His loud laugh echoed down the hall as we stood there. “So, what happened?”
I sighed, hating that I was going to tell him, anyway. “We talked. I’m going to be there for my kid, but she’s resistant.”
“Independent as fuck.”
“Yeah.”
He clapped a hand on my shoulder. “I feel your pain, brother. Amity is insanely independent. Pisses me off once in a while because sometimes, I just want to take care of her.”
My eyes hardened on him. “That’s different. You and Amity are together. In a relationship.”
Cocked his head to the side as a smile played at the corners of his mouth. “You aren’t?” he guessed. I sighed and glared at him. “My mistake. I thought since you’d fucked her—”
“Don’t talk about her like that. She might not be mine, but she is my child’s mother.” I started walking again, but he grabbed my shoulder, bringing me to a stop.
“Do you want her to be yours?” he asked. I tried so hard not to react in any way, but he was watching me too closely. “You fucking do.”
“Stop it.” I shrugged him off and tried to start moving again.
“You fucking love her.”
“I said, stop it .”
He held his arms out. “I already told you I’m not going to tell anyone, so you can admit it to me.” This time, he stopped me by hopping in front of me and blocking my path.
“You know we have somewhere to be.”
“It can wait.”
I chuckled because this wasn’t optional and couldn’t really wait. Silas was about to get us both a talking-to from our coach. Just like he had many times from Amity’s dad when we’d been in high school. “Can it?”
“Yeah.” He stepped closer then checked the hallway to make sure we were alone. “This woman is going to have your kid. You’ve admitted to fucking”—he held a hand up to keep me from chastising him again—“sorry. You admitted to making sweet, sweet love to her. There’s fucking evidence of it. So tell me, Brooks. Do you want to be with her? Do you love her?”
My stomach tightened at the mere idea of admitting something I’d only ever thought to myself. I could trust Silas, though, and he’d asked the question. “Yeah. I do. I want to be with her, but that’s not what she wants and she’s the pregnant one.” I pushed past him to get to the meeting room because it was almost time.
“You sure about that?” he called after me.
I chuckled and shook my head. “That she’s pregnant? Pretty sure.”
“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”
My jaw tightened before I said, “She blocked me after we were together. I think that says it all.”
“Hmm.” He stroked his chin. “Maybe it was just really bad. You were hurt, after all.”
“It wasn’t bad,” I countered. No way did Harlowe think that, either. I’d had her cumming in record time.
“Then maybe she’s like you and acting like she doesn’t want to be with you because she doesn’t know you want to be with her.” He had a smug smile on his face. “Ever think of that?”
Actually, I hadn’t and I wasn’t going to now. Or at least, I was going to try not to. I did have a game to focus on and we were about to start the playoffs.
“Glad you could join us,” the manager called out, making me give Silas a push.
“Sorry,” Silas said to him. “Brooks needed a little romantic advice.”
This time, I punched his leg as we sat down because that statement alone had gotten Urban’s and Cobb’s attention while the rest of the team quietly chuckled.
“You’re lucky you weren’t late,” the manager said, then he started talking about the game tonight.
We hadn’t been late, but if Coach was there and we weren’t, then we kind of had been late. Fuck Silas for holding me up, but man, did his words ring in my ears.
Did Harlowe think I didn’t want to be with her? That I was just showing concern because of the baby? If she did, then that was my fault, but going head on with Harlowe wasn’t going to work. She was already feeling a little caged in and probably not in the best place, given that the thing she’d worked for, the things she’d planned on being what could give her the life she’d wanted was slipping through her fingers.
It fucked with my head that I could fix this problem for her so easily but she wouldn’t let me. Which in and of itself was a sign she didn’t want me.
For now, I’d keep things focused on the baby but continue to try to feel her out about a relationship and maybe try to solve her problem without her knowing it was me.
No matter what happened, I’d have her in my life and if that meant she only wanted to be involved with me as my child’s mother, then that was what I’d have to accept. Which I could. Except…
One day Harlowe would find a man she wanted long term. That person would also be part of the whole co-parenting thing and I’d have to play nice while it slowly killed me inside.
That idea was worse to me than Camden finding out about any of this.