12. Archer
Chapter 12
Archer
Something about Shane made me greedy. Ravenous. I wanted to carve out a hole the shape of me and live in him. I loved the way he gave himself over to me, as if it cost him nothing. But I saw the way he looked at me when I told him he was good, and the way he shuddered without meaning to. I knew it cost him more than the nothing he pretended.
Stretched out underneath me, Shane was a fucking sight. All thick and strong and utterly lost to me. He gripped the pillow like it was the only thing keeping him from flying apart. Maybe it was. I knew the feeling all too well.
Shane’s body was hot and tight, and something about having a guy so much bigger than me under me, boneless and whimpering, panting my name, begging. It did things to me that I couldn’t put a name to. All because a man with thighs thick and strong enough to pop my head like a grape had his knees pressed up around his ears while I drilled into him.
I released my hold on his legs and they wrapped around me as I dove down, slanting my mouth over his. As much as I loved hearing every whimper and moan that spilled out of him, I needed the taste of him on my tongue. I needed to breathe him in and hoard every sensation I could for later. Because we couldn’t keep doing this for obvious reasons. Reasons which made no sense right now, but probably would when I wasn’t lost to the heat of Shane’s body.
Shane kissed me back like we’d been parted for centuries and not minutes. Like we were long-lost soulmates finally reunited. I tried not to let it fuck with my head, how much I liked kissing him, but the thought was there that his kisses were better than anything I’d ever experienced. I’d never been a butterflies-in-the-stomach kind of person, but when Shane kissed me, my entire body felt like tiny wings were fluttering inside me, under my skin, trying to break out or maybe trying to show me what it was like to fly.
“Fuck, I’m close,” Shane keened, hands still gripping the bed.
“Do you want to touch yourself?” I asked him, licking and kissing a trail up the side of his neck. I’d slowed my pace to catch my breath, but my heart still thudded against my chest like it was trying to break free.
Shane shook his head like he was suddenly shy and had lost the power of speech.
“Did you want me to touch you?” I let the words out against the curve of his neck. I kissed the spot of skin below his ear. He trembled at that, his ass clamped tighter around my cock. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you. You’ve been such a good boy, you deserve a reward.”
I might have missed the way his breath caught had I not been right up against him. The word ghosted out of his mouth, barely audible.
“Please.”
“Please what? Be a good little slut and tell me what you want.”
God, I loved the way he loved that. The way his body responded to me even when words failed him. The way his breathing changed and his legs tightened around me even the tiniest amount, though he tried desperately to stay still. Everything about him was intoxicating .
“Touch me. Touch me, please, please fucking touch me.” Shane unraveled. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. Stunning, all curled up underneath me, ass stretched around my cock, arms pinned above his head with nothing but my word keeping them there.
I reached between us and took hold of his cock. Precum had pooled on his stomach and I gathered that up and smeared it on his dick, smoothing the way only a little. Just enough.
“That’s a good boy. My little slut. So hot and tight for me. You can come now. Come whenever you’re ready, little slut. Show me how much you love having my cock buried inside you.”
My mouth was running away with me, but I didn’t give a fuck. I couldn’t stop myself from talking. It was like breathing. Even if I held my breath, eventually I’d have to breathe again. Shane didn’t seem to mind. Every syllable that came out of my mouth was for him, for us really. Because I loved the way he reacted to my voice, to my praise.
I smeared a bead of precum over the head of Shane’s dick with my thumb and that small move seemed to be his undoing. He cried out, voice hoarse and thick and desperate. He said my name when he came, like I was the only thing left in the world. It sounded like equal parts elation and disbelief.
“Archer, holy fuck… shit, yes. Please, please, Archer.” Shane came, thick ribbons pulsing out of him. His ass clamped around my cock, squeezing it, milking it.
“Please what?”
Shane lifted his head and captured my mouth with his. And that, of all things, was my undoing. My release hit me like a hurricane, slamming into me, making my hips snap harder, bury myself deeper. I wanted there to be no condom between us. I’d flood his ass with my cum and keep it there in the deepest parts of him like a secret stamp of ownership. He’d let me too. I knew he would .
Our kisses slowed as our releases faded away. Eventually, Shane lowered his arms and wrapped them around me and I didn’t have it in me to mind. I let myself enjoy being held. Being touched like I meant something, was worth something. I basked in the feeling until my face stung with beard burn and I collapsed in a boneless heap on top of Shane. My cum-sticky hand was still trapped between us and my cock had slid out of his ass, the condom hanging off it, but I’d be damned if I could find the energy to move.
It was Shane who got up and removed the condom. He took it to the bathroom and disposed of it. He returned with a facecloth and sat down on the bed, and gently taking my hand in his, he wiped it clean, paying special attention to the skin between my fingers.
A million things we should talk about hovered between us, but I was suddenly too fucking tired to care about any of them.
“You could stay.” I told him, knowing he wouldn’t. But I’d let him if he did. I’d curl myself around him, a ridiculous idea given the difference in our sizes.
“Can’t.” Shane sounded like he regretted that he couldn’t. It was probably one of the things that hung in the silence between us.
“That’s okay too,” I told him.
My hand was clean but he held it in his still. I saw him look at it, like maybe my hands held my secrets and if he studied the lines in my palms, he’d be able to find the key to unlock them. Or maybe he was trying to find a way to let me down easy. I’d never had this, whatever it was between us. It was perfect. Too good to be true. I didn’t want to give it up.
I didn’t think of myself as a selfish person, but Shane brought it out in me. Being with him made me not care about anyone else but myself—and him—and how we fit together. How good it was between us even though we’d just met .
“We should—” Shane started, but stopped.
He looked at me with those big, pleading eyes of his. They hid nothing from me. He was just as fucked over this as I was. Just as greedy and anxious to keep it as I was.
“We should do whatever we want,” I supplied, twisting my hand to link our fingers together. “Whatever we want.” I held his gaze as I repeated myself.
There were a million reasons we shouldn’t and we both knew it. But, post-orgasm, the world was still fuzzy and distant and easy to ignore. I’d had enough of reality for a while. Being with Shane chased some of the unhappiness away. It was like the sun coming out after a long, dark winter. No sane person would willingly shut themselves away from the sun.
Forcing myself to move, I rose and straddled Shane. I kept our hands linked and draped the other one around his neck. Leaning forward, I rested my forehead against his.
“We’re adults, Shane. We’re adults who are attracted to each other and have incredible sex. So long as we both remain willing, why should we stop?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It is. It can be.” I wasn’t ready to give this up yet, but if he wanted to stop, I wouldn’t argue with him. I knew how to take no for an answer.
But Shane didn’t tell me no. He wrapped his other arm around my waist and tilted his head until our mouths met. He held me close and kissed me slow. His hand tightened on mine and though I feared the worst, he looked at me as he brought my hand to his lips. The world’s softest kiss brushed against my knuckles.
“It’s irresponsible.”
“So be irresponsible with me. ”
Shane kissed my hand again before lowering it and releasing his grip from mine. I had to stop him from saying no. No was permanent. No was a decision he couldn’t unmake, even though I knew that was stupid. People changed their minds all the time.
“How about we take it as it comes?” I suggested. “We don’t have to plan for it to happen again, but maybe we don’t have to go out of our way to avoid it either.”
A million arguments sprang to mind, but I tamped them down. I liked him, but there was a good sort of begging and a bad sort of begging and I was teetering on the fence between them.
Shane eyed me as though he knew what I was saying. Like he saw through the bullshit and knew all the things I wasn’t willing to say. I didn’t want this to stop, but I didn’t know how to ask for it to go on. Shane had already given me so much, it seemed unreasonable to want more.
A million reasons not to loomed over us, but only one thrummed in my chest. It was the only one that I cared about. I wanted it. Him. And everything about him that he was willing to give me. But only if he was willing.
I didn’t care that we shouldn’t. My life was full of shouldn’ts. I shouldn’t have gone into business with Clayton. I shouldn’t have taken my eye off the money the first time I noticed a discrepancy in the books. I shouldn’t have let him get away with it. But all of those regrets I’d racked up were things that I’d done. Choices that I’d deliberately made. I didn’t want to regret letting go of Shane too easily.
Shane nodded, just once. But it was enough to bring a smile to my face.
“I don’t suppose you want to stay over after all? ”
Shane shook his head. “I can’t.” Again, it sounded like regret but he leaned in and kissed me, then stood and gathered his clothes off the floor and tugged them on.
“See you tomorrow, Shane.” I said his name instead of calling him my little slut, but his cheeks turned that delicious shade of pink as though I had.