22. Archer
Chapter 22
Archer
“Don’t people who win obscene amounts of money generally buy obscenely large houses?”
Shane didn’t seem offended by my comment. All he did was smile at me and unlock the door of his modestly-sized home.
“It’s just me here. Why would I need more space? I already have more space than I use most of the time. Come on in and I’ll give you the tour.”
Shane’s house was a simple two bedroom with a basement and an attic that could be converted into another bedroom if he wanted. So far he hadn’t wanted evidently. Shane’s house was everything I’d expected it to be, really. A wall of pictures in the living room showed off his family and friends including a group photo with him, Cyrus, and Marshall.
“That was taken at their five year anniversary.”
“They’re disgusting,” I said with no malice and only a hint of jealousy. I’d never had a serious relationship. Nothing long-term anyway. I’d been serious about a couple of people, but they were never serious back.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” Shane wrapped his arms around me from behind and I leaned against him, luxuriating in the attention.
“I’m good. What was it like?”
“What was what like? ”
“Winning all that money.”
“Terrifying. Liberating. Confusing. Amazing. You name it, I felt it. I’d been dead broke before. Like, deciding which bill to pay based on who was going to cut you off, kind of broke.” Shane huffed out a breath. “Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real. Did you want to see my one big indulgence?”
“Of course I do. Especially when you use words like big.”
I turned and waggled my eyebrows at him. Shane shook his head, but he’d cracked a smile. He led me to his bedroom and pushed the door open before tugging me inside.
“It’s a giant sex toy, isn’t it? One of those dildos as big around as my head. I’m well-endowed, but even I can’t compete with that, Shane.”
“You’re impossible,” He laughed and half steered, half shoved me into the en suite where I laid eyes on the world’s largest bathtub.
“Jesus fuck, man. How many people can you fit in that thing?”
“Well, I was hoping for at least two.” Shane whipped his shirt off and started the water. Even if I hadn’t wanted to lie around in a bath—which I did—I definitely wasn’t going to say no to lying around naked with Shane. The man was so beautiful he made my chest ache.
Taking my shirt off, I discarded it and watched as Shane checked the temperature of the water.
“Your big indulgence for yourself was a bathtub?” I wanted to understand him. Shane didn’t do anything without a reason and his reasons were what made him so goddamned appealing. I wanted to know everything about him.
“My last place didn’t have a bathtub. Only this little shower that was so small it was hard to wash my hair because my elbows would bump against the sides of the shower. It was like showering in an upright coffin.” Shane motioned to the other end of the sizeable bathroom. “ That’s why my shower is also huge. It’s the one thing I wanted for myself. No more tiny bathrooms.”
Popping the button on my pants, I shoved them down. Keenly aware of the way Shane watched me, I gave my ass a wiggle. What I didn’t expect was for Shane’s hand to shoot out and crack against the cheek of my ass. The sting shocked me, and I blinked at him for a moment before grinning from ear to ear.
“You’re going to pay for that.” I straightened and kicked my pants to the side. Like a tiger hunting its prey, I stalked toward Shane. He had a way of looking at me that made me feel like the biggest person in the room. Like it didn’t matter if there were three, or three hundred, people around us, he’d still pay attention to me because I was the only person he saw.
“Oh no,” he deadpanned. “Don’t punish me, please. I’ll do anything.”
When I got closer, he wrapped an arm around me and tugged me close to him. I had to tilt my head to look up at him and the way his eyes shone down at me stole my breath. “You fell for my most evilest of plans.”
“And what was this evil plan?” My heart slammed against my ribs. We’d gone from serious to playful and somehow, in the space of a blink, we were back to serious again. If Shane’s evil plan was to get me to fall in love with him, then it was a resounding success. I’d been addicted to him since we met. From that first day, that first time, I knew he fit me like no one else ever had. Or ever would. There was something singularly wonderful about Shane Taggart that made me think he’d been built just for me. Created out of my dreams or something else equally impossible.
I didn’t want to play anymore. Didn’t want to pretend that the things fluttering around inside me weren’t serious. I grabbed Shane, wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, and I pulled him down into a kiss.
It was ferocious at first. Needy in a way I’d never been. Desperate too, like I’d actually die if I didn’t get my tongue into his mouth, or if I didn’t share the same oxygen as him, I might fade out of existence altogether.
It was Shane who slowed the kiss, who eased it off from this frantic, stunningly needy thing to a slower, sweeter kind. One filled with raw affection and so much tenderness that I worried I’d shake apart from all the things vibrating inside me.
Somehow, between that first meeting and being led into his bathroom, I’d fallen in love with him. Head over fucking heels. Shane Taggart had won me over with his bright smile, his easygoing way of being, and the generosity of his spirit. When he looked at me, I felt like he saw me. Like I could tell him anything, show him anything, and he’d still think I was the best person in the room.
Terror clawed at my insides. I couldn’t love Shane. He’d never love me back. This was supposed to be a casual thing. Something to scratch our mutual itches until … until what? Until something better came along? That was impossible because Shane was the something better. He was the best thing. The brightest thing in my life. He’d quickly become my biggest supporter, my loudest cheerleader. Three quarters of the clients I’d landed so far were because Shane had referred them to me. He’d sang my praises, telling people to come check out my work.
He cupped one side of my face and his thumb brushed over my cheekbone. Without saying anything, he leaned in again and kissed me. His lips were softer than anything I’d ever kissed and his eyes were deep pools of emotion. Maybe I wasn’t alone in this terror, this love, this wonderful-awful feeling of flying and crashing all at once.
Wrenching my gaze away from Shane’s, I climbed into the bathtub .
“This thing is fucking huge. Like six of me could fit in here.”
“I don’t ever plan on having six people in my bathtub.” Shane stripped the rest of the way and climbed in behind me. I didn’t miss the way his cock swung heavy and half-hard between his legs. Later I’d do something about that, but for now I wanted to luxuriate in the bath with him. I wanted to let myself enjoy this.
“You better not,” I said as I let myself be pulled into his embrace. I leaned back, enjoying the way his body fit perfectly around mine. The way his legs cradled me between them and the way my head rested comfortably against his chest. Did I love fucking him through the floor in increasingly filthy ways? Absolutely I did, and I’d continue to do so for as long as he’d let me. But there was a sweetness about Shane that I couldn’t deny being attracted to.
I liked that he was nice to people. That his first and last intention was to help people. I liked that he wanted to help people find a solution, not just throw money at a problem and walk away from it. Maybe that’s why I opened my mouth and started telling him about Clayton.
Shane sat quietly behind me, sliding his fingertips up and down my arm as I talked. I told him everything Clayton had told me in the phone call. That he was in trouble. That he’d lost money, and then more money, and had stolen to try and make good, only to lose that too.
“I never knew about his gambling problem. I’d have helped him if I had known.” The words felt like the truth when I said them, but deep down I wondered if I would help him now that I did know. I was still hurt from what he’d done, regardless of why.
“Addiction is a beast of a thing. It’s not easy to deal with. I’m sure you’d have done everything you could.”
“I don’t even know how I could have helped him, to be honest. I don’t know shit about helping people with that kind of problem. ”
“It’s okay to not have the answers.” Shane’s hand skimmed down my chest. The water was still warm, but all I wanted now was to lay in bed with him. Talking to Clayton and avoiding the way it had made me feel sharp inside, like I was full of broken glass, had tired me out.
I didn’t ask to get out, though. I burrowed closer to Shane and closed my eyes. He didn’t ask anyone for anything, so giving him a few more minutes of this wasn’t a hardship.
“I like your bathtub, by the way,” I told him. It was an awkward segue, but he let me get away with it. I didn’t want to talk about Clayton anymore, or addiction, or how my best friend had betrayed me and had only returned when he thought I could do something for him.
“You’ll have to test out the shower in the morning,” Shane purred in my ear.
I liked the idea of waking up next to him. There wasn’t a part of me that didn’t want to know what it was like. What kind of person was he in the morning? What side of the bed did he sleep on? It was dangerous to want to know these things about him. Wanting them made it impossible for me to pretend that I wasn’t in love with him.
And I had to pretend that it was still casual. There was no way Shane had the same feelings for me that I had for him. And yet, I felt safer here than I’d felt at Cyrus and Marshall’s. More settled. Less fatalistic. Clayton’s reemergence reminded me of the harbinger of doom and it wasn’t until Shane and I stripped bare and he held me that I was able to shake off that particular feeling.
“Let’s go to bed,” he said.
It was the easiest yes I’d ever said.