Chapter 19
When Onyx dropped us off at the boys’ place, Sloane had some business to deal with at the club, with a huge VIP party she is running this weekend. She promised to be back for me before the end of the day. Alessandro also wasn’t back from Geovani’s apartment just yet, and the other boys were not around, but the guards had been told to let us in.
He’s quiet, unusually so, and I’m sure he wants to lick his wounds alone, but I don’t want to leave him like this. Not until I know he’s alright. I make him a coffee and watch as he drinks it down, staring into space. He looks broken, a shadow of his former self, and that really scares me.
“Can I get you something to eat?” I ask, trying to bring him back to the land of the living.
He shakes his head, and I know he probably needs to just sleep it off. He’s no use to anyone like this.
“Come on.” I hold my hand out to him and lead him up the small set of stairs that take us into the bedroom he was staying in at the front of the house before I left. Then just like the night when he first brought me back to his apartment all messed up, I help him undress and get into the shower.
He stands with his head back against the tile wall, letting the warm water run over his face and his body, his gorgeous, tattooed, ripped body now on full display. I know now is not the time to drool, but I actually can’t look away. Even suffering from the hangover from hell, he still looks edible.
His eyes meet mine. “Red, join me. And take that fucking wig off, you look like Biker Barbie.”
I stifle a laugh, catching sight of myself in the mirror. He’s not wrong. I don’t know what possesses me to do it. Maybe I’m feeling weak after thinking he was dead for a split second this morning, or maybe I just really missed him and selfishly want his body pressed to mine all soapy and hard. But against my better judgment, I strip off the jeans and tank I have on, followed by my underwear, and lastly the wig, letting my long hair fall free over my shoulders. It feels good to have it off.
I walk toward him, his eyes pinned to my body, eating up every inch of me, then I slip under the steaming water with him.
His hands trail up my arms over the fake ink now marking my fair skin. “These better be temporary. If I find out you have destroyed your perfect skin, you don’t even want to know how I will punish you.”
My hand reaches his face, and I run a finger over his busted lip. “You’re one to talk. No need to pull out the belt just yet, these will all come off eventually.”
He rests his head on mine and inhales deeply. “But the lip ring won’t. Lucky it’s a good look on you.”
I laugh lightly. I’m so used to it now, I don’t even think about it anymore.
“What the fuck were you thinking disappearing like that? Anything could have happened to you.” He pulls my body so close to his, like he just might never let me go again. I can feel how much I scared him.
I roll my lips, not sure if I should tell him or not. “Anything nearly did. But I’m okay, I have Sloane looking out for me, and my knife thanks to you.”
He pulls back from me a little, taking my face in his hands in a way that forces me to stare right into his dark eyes. “Who the fuck attacked you?” he growls out, and I feel the tremor in his hands.
I sigh heavily. How can he see all that just from looking into my eyes right now? I take a step back from him, letting the water soak my hair and run over my eyes. I know he’s about to overreact, and I’m not quite sure how to ease him into this little nugget of information. But I won’t hide shit from him. No more secrets; they only make shit worse for all of us. “After I stole Dani’s car, I went back to Sloane’s club looking for Enzo or trying to find information that might lead me to work out how to destroy him. Some asshole took a liking to me and followed me out of there, dragging me into the back alley behind her bar first chance he got. I later found out he was Wyatt Cross, a dirty cop on Enzo’s payroll.”
Even though we’re not touching anymore, I feel his body tense. “Wyatt Cross.” He spits out the name like he knows him. “He’s a fucking dead man.”
I stare up at him, not sure if I should admit what I did or not. “Yes, he is,” I whisper, dropping my eyes away from his scrutiny.
His hand comes to my chin, forcing me to look back up at him. “You killed a cop?”
“He was going to rape me. I did everything you showed me and fought him off, then he came at me again, and I pulled my knife on him. It was self-defense.”
Relief washes over him. “Good girl.” He pulls me into him, stroking my now very wet hair. “You did good, Red, really good.”
“Why do I still feel so sick over it? I didn’t want to kill him, I just wanted him to leave me alone.” I feel teary, knowing I haven’t been able to deal with what happened at all. “Sometimes at night when I’m trying to sleep, I still see him bleeding out, it’s horrifying.”
He pulls me a little closer. “He got what he deserved in a hell of a lot more humane way than I would have done it. Predators like that are the scum of the earth, Red.”
I let him hold me close as I try to block the memory of him bleeding out from my mind. But the reality is it’s just another scene to add to a very haunting catalogue of the last twelve months. As much as I want to act like a badass bitch like Sloane is, I’m not. Everything I have been through leaves me with ghosts.
He takes a washcloth and squirts some body wash onto it then glides it over my body. I relax into him, enjoying the way it feels to have his hands on me again. When he’s done, I take the cloth from him, soaping up his delicious body. Every muscle is ripped perfection, giving me the urge to run my tongue over his abdomen, down to his… Fuck, he’s hard. And if I wasn’t trying to get him into bed so he can sleep off his poor choices, I would get down on my knees and suck him off right now.
I quickly glance up to him instead, swallowing the lump in my throat and he takes the washcloth from me. He knows what I’m thinking. He’s so fucking hot for me right now, I can feel the heady desire swirling through the air.
I wait until I know the water has run over him enough to rinse him off then I shut it off. Heat is radiating off my face, not from the hot water. He stares at me, his chest rising and falling slowly. When I’m with Geovani, it’s what he doesn’t say that scares me the most. The haunted way he looks at me when I know his mind has gone to some dark place. I take a step away and push open the glass door, taking a plush white towel and wrapping it around myself before handing one to him.
“Do you need me to get you anything? Advil for your head?” I offer, thinking he must have the hangover from hell right about now and needing to say anything that’s not I want to fuck your brains out.
“You know I don’t take that shit. I’ll be fine.” He pushes past me, going to the vanity, adjusting his towel so it’s around his waist then squirting some toothpaste on his toothbrush before brushing his teeth.
I have no idea why, but I lean into the tile wall, just watching him do something so normal. So simple. When he’s done, he spits out and spins round to face me. “What?”
I pull the towel a little tighter around my chest. “I’m sorry. I hated lying to you. But I needed the freedom to take control of my life again. And with you boys calling the shots and watching my every move, I never could.”
His forehead creases. “I thought you were lying in a fucking ditch somewhere dead, Red. Sorry is not going to cut it this time.” I can see how furious he is with me; it’s masked behind the pain I caused him, but it’s there.
I’m not sure how to explain this to him, but he has to know things are different now. We’re not going back to the same old controlling stuff where he watches my every move, that shit is crazy and nothing real can come from it. “Sloane was there, she saw what I did the night I got attacked and offered to help me. I have my own place now, the Strykers backing me, and a real plan to take down Enzo.” I can’t help the small smile that paints my lips knowing what I achieved without all of them. “I can do it without you, but I would prefer to keep you in the loop. All the lies and secrets have already caused too much trouble for all of us.”
“You’re not working for Sloane, are you?”
“Just behind the bar when she needs me, it’s not a big deal.”
Panic etches itself onto his face, his eyes wide and unfocused. “I don’t want you working in a sex club.”
“Not you as well. I’m just working behind the bar, not shaking my tits or screwing dudes for cash.”
He captures my hand roughly, his nostrils flaring, his eyes darkening in a way that makes my heart race. “I appreciate Sloane was there to help you, but now that I know where you are, nothing bad will ever happen to you again.” He states it as a fact, his tone unwavering, his eyes locked on me, suggesting he has full control still.
I tilt my head up toward him defiantly. “Why, because you’re not letting me out of your sight?”
“Something like that. You can tell Sloane you’re working for me again and you don’t need her bar job.” His lips twitch up at the sides in that psychotic way only he can get away with because somehow it makes him look sexy as hell.
I yank my hand free from his grasp. “Geo, I didn’t come find you so you could lock me up in your apartment again. I wanted to make sure you were okay. And now that I see you are, I’m going back to my new apartment and my new life to finish what I started.”
“Like hell you are, you just told me yourself you nearly got raped by some scumbag dirty cop. And now you’re working for a known gang member at her sex club. Why would I let you back out there alone for some other cunt to finish the job?” His voice booms off the tiles walls as he loses his shit.
My hands fly to my hips in defense. Is he fucking kidding me right now? I lock my eyes with his, not backing down. He will not control my life, just like I won’t let the other boys. “No offence, Geovani, but because you have no choice, I’m a free woman and I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want. I don’t need you or the Moretti brothers to rule my life anymore.” My voice holds a strong, scary edge to it. I have no idea where it came from, but I like it. I won’t let this man push me around again. No matter how good his real intentions are.
He takes a step back from me, looking stunned. I’m not sure what he expected, but the girl standing before him isn’t it. “So, you’re what, one of the Iron Strykers now?” he snaps back.
I laugh because it sounds so ridiculous. “No, I don’t belong to anyone. Sloane and I have a mutual agreement that we’re working toward, that’s it. When I have achieved what I set out to do, we will part ways.”
He closes the gap between us, trying to cage me in with his large body, but I sidestep him and move into the bedroom. “You already look like one of them,” he seethes, bitterness dripping off his every word.
I’m not even sure where I’m going, since my clothes are back in his bathroom, but I just needed to get away from him for a second. “So I can stay concealed. This isn’t by choice but by necessity. I know you understand that.” My voice is smug because he was the one who came up with the whole secret identity thing last time.
I feel him right behind me, his hot breath on the back of my neck. “The Morettis already found you or you wouldn’t have known I was missing and come looking for me.”
I tug my towel closer around myself, feeling the cool air on my skin and wishing I had clothes on for this conversation. The tension just intensified, and I’m not sure if he wants to fuck me or fight me. Knowing Geovani, it’s probably both. “Yeah, they know who I am. We have come to an agreement.”
“They’re happy for you to keep running around like this?” His touch is sudden and unexpected as his hands close over my arms, and with a not-so-gentle turn, I find myself facing him.
I raise a brow. “I’m sure they’re not happy about it, but they have no fucking choice, Geovani. I have a score to settle, and they now know they won’t see me again unless they’re willing to help me.”
He looks almost impressed by my newfound power over them, and he should. Even I’m surprised they have come around. But really, I gave them as little choice as I’m giving him. “What about us?” His hand runs down my side landing on my ass, pulling me in closer to him.
“Us?” I ask, blinking back up at him from under my fake lashes. Knowing what he is asking me but not sure how I respond. “We can talk about us when I have finished what I started with Sloane,” I finally answer when I see he’s not going to release me until I give him something.
I feel his hands tighten, the tips of his fingers biting into my skin. Fury rages off his body, and I step away from him, not sure what he’s about to do. But his hand comes to mine and he spins me so I’m facing him, the very obvious pink diamond ring glaring at the both of us as he holds up my hand. “I won’t let you marry him,” he spits, his words venomous and laced with barely controlled rage.
Oh, fuck, this is what he’s on about, he saw the ring. “I’m not marrying anyone, Geo.”
“What’s with the fucking diamond then, Red?” He backs me up until we’re walking back through the ensuite and my ass hits the vanity.
I place a hand on his chest, trying to get a little space. “Simply an agreement to be engaged for the allotted time it takes to destroy Enzo. When all is done, the ring can be returned to Alex.”
He lifts me so my ass is resting on the vanity, spreading my legs so he’s in between. I suck in a breath, the intensity in his eyes causing my heart to race like mad. Then his lips are on mine, kissing me, his hands lacing into my hair as he holds me closer. His tongue invades my mouth so possessively I feel like my heart is going to stop. I want to tell him I love him. But this is all so crazy. Everything between us has always been different to what I have with the other boys, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want or care for him just as fiercely. Because I do.
As we kiss, he lets his towel drop to the tile floor. And in one quick move shoves mine aside so I’m uncovered for him as well. Then he lifts me just a little and pushes his cock inside of me.
“Fuck.” I moan into his lips, not expecting it, tingles going through my body just the same from how badly I want him.
He pushes my legs out wider and adjusts the angle so he can fuck me like this, slowly moving in and out of me, waiting for me to adjust to his size. It doesn’t take long since I was already dripping wet from how much it turned me on with all the washing in the shower. Then the fighting.
He pulls out of me, and I slide down to standing in his arms before he spins me around so I’m facing the mirror. My cheeks are flushed with heat, my hair a total tangled mess, and my pupils so dilated you can barely make out the color of them. I push my ass back, wanting him to fill me up again. “Do it,” I taunt him, wondering what he’s waiting for.
He’s studying me, and he spreads my legs wider, stroking his hand through my folds. Then when I’m desperate and panting for him to fill me up again, he pushes his cock back inside me so fucking deep it has my pussy clenching. His eyes lock with mine in the mirror as his hand comes around the front and slides through my juices, finding the sensitive bud of my clit. His other hand comes to my throat, his fingers wrapping around it firmly as he pulls me back onto his cock. He looks possessed, fucking batshit crazy! But so do I. My eyes roll back in my head, and I take every deep thrust he gives me, loving every second of it.
With his fingers on my clit working their magic, combined with the tightening of my airway with the hold he has around my neck and his thick cock filling me up, it sends me over the edge in a frenzy of sensory overload. I scream my release into the empty bathroom, my cries echoing off the tile walls, as I hear him grunt his own release at the exact same time.
He drops his head to mine, and I refix my gaze on him. On our reflection. Water dripping everywhere from my long hair, our faces hot and flushed, and our bodies impossibly close together. His hands are still on me, rough but not causing any pain. “Marry me instead.” His words fill my ears, and I immediately know he’s serious.
I blink back at him. “What the fuck, Geovani?” I snap, trying to move, but he won’t let me. He has me right where he wants me, trapped and vulnerable, unable to hide anything from him when he can see my every expression and feel my body’s reaction.
He holds me close, his eyes locked on mine. “I will protect you from Enzo, you should be mine.”
I blink back at him, not sure what to say or do. He’s still fucking inside of me, I can feel his cum running down my leg. But I don’t move, I just stare back at him. I don’t want to hurt him; he means too much to me. “Geo, I don’t want to marry anyone. Ever,” I tell him honestly.
I feel the way his body tenses, then all of a sudden, he loosens his grip on me, and he pulls out, taking a step away.
Immediately I miss the contact, sucking in breaths, trying to get my erratic heart under control. “Geo, you mean so much to me. You all do. But I don’t want the conventional marriage and babies and all that goes with it. Honestly, after all the examples I have seen in my life, I don’t want to end up like any one of them. But that doesn’t mean I’m not in love with you, because I am. I hope that’s enough for you, because I can’t make any promises of the future. I have no idea what it looks like.”
His hand comes to my face, and he pulls me toward him, softly kissing my lips. “I fucking love you, Harley. When I thought I would never see you again, it fucked me up. If you want something less conventional then so be it. We do whatever you want.”
“Seriously?” His change catches me off guard, a genuine smile breaking across my face as I look back at him.
He nods. “What do you want?”
“Revenge.” I smirk devilishly. It’s all-consuming, and until I get it, I can’t see past the anger I have toward Enzo to imagine what the future looks like.
His hand strokes through my hair, pulling us closer together again. “When you get your revenge, what then?” He kisses my forehead.
“Selfishly, I want all of you.” I bite into my bottom lip, wondering if I should go on. I know how terrible it sounds, but it’s the truth. I love all four of them and don’t want to imagine my life without them all in it.
“What else?”
I close my eyes and for the first time in forever allow myself to dream. “A house in the country we can escape to on the weekends and an apartment in the city where we can hang during the week. I want Ricky to be a doctor, Maddox to win a fucking title fight, Alex to rule whatever kingdom he needs to, and for you to do whatever it is that makes your heart happy. I want us all to be free and safe to be whoever the fuck we want.” My eyes open, and I find him staring at me.
He offers me a half smile, and I know under his tough exterior he wants that as well. “I’m happy when I’m with you.” His finger traces a line over my face, like he’s trying to memorize every detail.
“Am I asking for too much?” A grin spreads across my face as I let out a hearty laugh, hoping to break the tension that hangs heavy in the air.
“Stay with me for the night. Just one, then you can go back to Sloane and do whatever it is you have to with her.” His eyes plead with me to understand how badly he needs this, and his sadness crushes me. I already know I can’t refuse him, and more than that, I don’t want to.
“One night,” I whisper, letting him collect me in his arms and carry me to his bed.