Chapter 30
Dinner turns my stomach even more than the salad. But what's new lately?
Everything is so fucking exhausting at this point. My eyelids droop, desperate for sixteen hours of uninterrupted sleep. Hell, put me in a coma for a year so I can finally get some shut-eye and ignore the world and pretend I’m not stuck on an island with a psycho as the leader who poisons people.
Good times.
The only thing I can think of as I shove delicious steak and potatoes down my throat is—will I be next? Will he poison Shepp and me before we can even make it to the fight?
He didn't. For whatever reason, he seems to want us around. Whether it's to continue our torture and enact his revenge on us or to use us for whatever he sees fit. We’re here. Alive. And very fucking annoyed.
Fuck. My head hurts.
Even worse when Shadow leads us to the top of The Pits into the stands and gives us a private viewing box to witness the murders of people with guards in tow.
Staring down, I note the same blood stains I walked across before murdering the man in cold blood. Well, not exactly cold blood. He seemed to deserve it, regardless of how he was set up to die at my hands.
"Any idea as to what's going on?" I murmur to Shepp, who sits beside me, watching the scene unfold with a blank expression.
The muted shouts of the men in the stand muffle through the glass box, and I see more and more of Shadow’s soldiers lining the benches everywhere I look. Even his guards stand silently with narrowed eyes.
We're surrounded by the enemy.
Shepp shakes his head, taking my hand in his. ‘No clue,’ he mouths.
I nod in response, curling my fingers around his. The warmth of his palm in mine settles the aches roaring through my weary bones. If I have to watch a fight to the death, then I'll do it, holding onto the one person who has been able to ground me this entire time.
Shepp has been my lighthouse in the storm, guiding me back from the brink of drowning. Repeatedly. I wouldn’t have survived this if he hadn’t been taken, too. I would have succumbed to my darkness and become the unfeeling soldier my monster molded.
I owe Shepp everything. Including the support he deserves, too.
Looking at his solemn face, devoid of color and the spark that makes him–him, has shivers creeping up my spine. An aura of sadness and fear wafts from him. Crushing my fucking heart. Everything about this experience is shaping the two of us into different people. Vastly different individuals from who we were a mere week ago.
A larger-than-life presence invades my personal bubble to my left. Settling on the bench beside me like this is an everyday occurrence. I swear the hairs on my arms stand on end, prickling when his gaze finds mine.
Mikhail. The little devil himself.
He shifts in his seat, observing the crowd down below through the streak-free glass, giving us a perfect view of the fight about to begin. He folds his hands in his lap, patiently watching Shadow with a calculated stare.
The mask around Mikhail falls away, revealing the man beneath. He openly glares. With hatred. At the man holding Sunshine’s arm in his tight grasp. Bruising will no doubt be left behind on her flesh.
Mikhail flexes his fist. Until his mask slips back into place, replacing his anger with indifference. I want to believe he’s letting me see the real him and his displeasure at Shadow. The same as me.
Shadow moves around the private box with determination etched into his face with Sunshine in tow, muttering beneath his breath. Sunny doesn’t say a word as he drags her along, appearing like a rag doll doing whatever he says.
“You’re with me,” he grunts, dragging a compliant Sunshine out the private box's glass door. It leads out to the stage I saw him on when I was in the ring, fighting for my life.
Sunshine smiles beside him like a dutiful daughter as Shadow speaks to the crowd through the microphone in front of him. Shadow’s booming voice barely breaks through the glass we’re surrounded by, giving the illusion of privacy. The crowd's noise dissipates, completely washing away when they fully take their seats. His people look at him with wide eyes, grins, and utter devotion.
I wonder how they have kept his identity secret all these years without anyone slipping up. He must have a tight hold on them. Something over their heads to keep their lips sealed. No one gives unquestioning loyalty like that. Do they?
"My father had terrible plans for your sister. Ones I disapproved of." Mikhail turns to look at me, taking in my neutral expression. "You don't trust me."
Not entirely. I’m trying so hard for my sister’s sake. She pleaded with me to think it over, and I have. I conceded with the fact I wouldn’t be able to break them up. It would only get worse from there. So, I’m helpless with this—a participant with no say in the matter.
I take a deep breath, trying to contain myself. But that’s hard when Sunshine is involved in the matter. My sister is my primary worry—even over myself—and she always has been. I try to remember how Mikhail looks at my sister with love in his eyes and how she reciprocates.
They care for one another, and I can only hope that continues when he whisks her away, but I still have questions for him—questions I wasn’t able to ask in our short time together.
"Why would I?" I ask, tilting my head. "You've known my sister for two days. I've known her forever. And I'm supposed to believe you have her best interest in mind? What game are you playing?"
I bite my tongue, sinking my teeth deep into the traitorous body part. Hard enough to taste the blood flowing from my new wounds. Okay, so that wasn't as smooth and collected as I intended it to be. I could have been a little less direct and to the point. You know, subtle. In an attempt to gain his trust and make him like me enough to tell me all his secrets. But my fuse is short. I’m exhausted. And I’m so over being on this stupid island.
Fuck it.
This little shit has my sister in some sort of spell, and I want to know how.
Also, why?
Mikhail breaks out in a smile, chuckling under his breath. "Understandable. I am nothing but a stranger to you. But to Sunshine, I am someone. And she is the most important thing to me."
"How?" I don’t mention he’s a literal child parading around like a man, and she’s a child, too.
"Try three years," he says, raising a challenging brow.
"Three?” I scoff. “There's no way. They locked her away in a hospital room without access to anyone. Besides, she would have contacted me first if she had that capability. I am her sister, after all.
"Three years ago, I met an exceptional person through online gaming. She was lonely. I was lonely. But she was also traumatized by the events she witnessed. She saw her sister murder for her."
I pale, stiffening at the memories sneaking through the darkness of my mind and trying to haunt me. Sunshine told a random person on the internet about my crimes? Wonderful. I’m sure the FBI knows all about it now. I’m doomed. Dead. About to go to fucking prison for eternity for the attempted murder of Thomas Mondelli.
"She also mentioned that a bad man took her sister. Oh, and that she was being held in a hospital against her will. But she didn't know the location or anything about it. They kept her under lock and key, watching her almost every hour of the day. Her only reprieve was the hour a day she was granted an iPad to play games online. Something she used to her advantage." He tilts his head, watching her through the glass of the small room. "Your sister will never be trapped again. I will make sure of that. She is mine to keep." He levels me with a soft expression, opening the windows to his soul to reveal a man with genuine intentions, meaning every word he says.
My chest constricts at the hint of betrayal—my sister, the girl I sacrificed everything for—had a way to communicate with the outside world? I was out there busting my ass to keep her safe, and she reached out to people online and didn't have the guts to contact me? I blow out a breath, tracing the line of the scar hidden beneath my tattoo. It’s grounding, bringing me back to the scene unfolding before my eyes—death and destruction.
Mikhail’s words bounce around in my brain, playing on repeat like an annoying ass record, reminding me of what I’ve done for the past three years for my sister to keep her safe.
And she wasn’t able to contact me.
Logically, I know she wouldn’t have been able to. If she had a tablet to play games, there’s no way she could have gotten my number or messaged me. Her options were limited. And I’m sure her fear led her to other means of finding friendship and comfort. I couldn’t be there for her physically. Through notes, sure. But those were so few and far between that she had to seek someone else out. So, why not? If she found solace in Mikhail—I’ll never understand why, little bastard—but he brought her comfort in her dire days.
I wish she could have gotten the word out to me some way without putting herself in front of a loaded gun.
“But why not me?” I mumble more to myself than anyone, still reeling from the shock of his confession.
“Believe my words when I say she wanted to. Your life was also always in danger. She didn’t want to risk your well-being because she attempted to reach out. Even through me, Journey. It was too dangerous. She was under the same scrutiny as you were. Not to mention, constantly monitored by Gabriel Viotto’s men.” How the hell does this little shit know more about my life than I probably do?
Jesus. My sister revealed all our secrets. Didn’t she? She trusted this boy with everything about our lives, with no regrets.
I’m so boned.
If he’s mafia, he’ll hold this over our heads and bend us to his will. I can see it now. The past always repeats itself.
I side-eye the little shit, scrutinizing his thinned-out face. He could almost pass as an adult, but the lack of facial hair and pimples gives him away. He’s still a child. But he’s her only hope in getting to safety.
“Why did she tell you all of this? You were a damn stranger. You can't expect me to hand my sister to you because you've been internet pals with her, and now...” I trail off, biting my tongue again. As much as I wanted to think I was okay with this, the doubt creeps up on me. I want to question everything.
Stop showing your damn hand, Little Snake! My monster’s words pound me over the head much like he did back then, too, whenever I disobeyed. Bam! A crack right to the skull. You’d think I would have learned by now to be a dutiful little snake and not show any of my emotions.
But I’ve consistently failed miserably. He couldn’t pry my humanity out of my soul. Ever. He tried but never succeeded.
"She is my wife," he says, adjusting his posture to his full height. "And I will take her where I please. She'll be treated like a queen. My queen." He blows out a breath, still watching through the window. "I have every intention of providing for her. I have the means. The want. She will be safe with me. Safer than here with him. I promise you that, Journey. No harm will come to your sister. Ever again.” He shakes his head, looking Shadow up and down. “She told me why you stabbed him, and it’s going to happen again if you don’t let me take her out of here.”
A full-body shudder works through me. Those words pierce through my chest like a knife slicing through butter. Right to my damn heart. That shatters with the memories of what brought me here. Him—Shadow. Touching her where she shouldn’t have been touched. She was a child, and he was a monster high on his horse with power, exuding it over an innocent girl.
Never again.
I protected her from it once in our trailer. Here, though? She’s in the same vicinity as him. He could sneak into her room and traumatize her for good. I’m so fucking torn. He’s a monster. Worse than Gabriel, that’s for sure. He shouldn’t be trusted around anyone, especially a child like Sunshine. I know she’s been doing everything she can to manipulate him and wrap him around her finger. It’s shown.
But that can only save her for so long. Eventually, he’ll take what he wants.
"You're fourteen!" I hiss, squeezing Shepp's hand for reassurance. "You can't expect me to...to believe..." I shake my head, trying to wrap my mind around the situation.
"I may be young. In your eyes, I'm probably dumb and jumping the gun. Last night, we married with her father's permission. Legally speaking, Sunshine is mine. My wife. My prized jewel. I want to prove myself to you, Journey. I know what it's like to be protective of my siblings. We look out for each other. I can't thank you enough for doing what you did for her. You saved her from something terrible. Now, it’s my turn. She wants this.”
She wants me, is what he’s not saying.
Does she want this, though? Is this truly the life my little sister wants? It’s like a mother letting go of her daughter's hand and willingly handing her over to the shadows of the night. To the dangerous world I tried to shield her from for so many years.
I suck in a breath, pinching the bridge of my nose to distract myself from attempting to punch Mikhail in the face for taking her away. Or hug him for keeping her safe? I’m so torn and confused by how I feel.
He could be lying. Or he could be telling the truth. It’s only a matter of time before his true form shows. When will that be, though? Today? Tomorrow? When they go back to his home, isolating my sister from everybody?
"I found a match for her in the system. I'm taking her back to Miami. She will have a new heart." He licks his lips, slowly looking at me with a softened face full of desperation for me to understand. "Isn't that all you've ever dreamed of? And why you sacrificed your freedom to provide for her and her health all those years ago?"
Everything I’ve dreamed of since her doctors told me she needed a transplant flashes before my eyes. I tried so hard to get her higher on the list. To find her matches that would be compatible with her. Anything to make her healthier. It seemed like I’d never see this day. Now, her new husband snaps his fingers and gets it done without blinking an eye.
I’m a goddamn failure of epic proportions. But grateful someone could do that for her.
Defeat settles in my soul. Maybe this move will be better for her. If he’s telling the truth, that is. I’m so wishy-washy with my feelings regarding him and her. Ugh. I want her by my side. But I don’t want her to stay in Shadow’s vicinity. If I do that, Sunshine will attract even more attention from Shadow. If I let her go with Mikhail, she’ll be safer. I can’t be everywhere at once. I need to trust his words and trust in him. A fucking stranger to make sure my sister is safe and gets the healthcare she needs.
It’s a lot of trust to put on someone so young. Oh, and someone I barely know.
"I would do anything for her," I whisper. "She's my sister. My responsibility. She..." I squeeze my eyes shut, clamping them tight.
She’s my everything. The reason I fucking live and breathe. Always has been and always will be. I raised her. Well, until they took her away from me. I sacrificed my childhood to feed and provide clothing for her. Hell, I even stole for her so we could live and survive. Sunshine is my heart. The air. The everything.
Every step I take, life I break—it was for her.
And now, I need to loosen the reins. Drop them entirely and let her go. Into the arms of a man—no, he’s still a boy—who is promising her the world. Mikhail can deliver what he’s promising. I see it in his eyes when he looks at her with dedication ringing back.
They say the best things in life often break you.
Well, I’m about to break.
"Then you and I have similar interests with her. I assure you, Sunshine will find nothing but happiness at my side. I will do nothing to put her in danger." Mikhail raises a brow when Shepp loudly scoffs, rolling his eyes, interjecting into our quiet conversation for the first time since we arrived.
Shepp takes out his notebook and writes , 'He's the head of the Russian mafia. Danger will always find them.' Shepp tosses a hand, gesturing for me to show Mikhail what he said. He glares at the child mafia leader with disdain, gritting his teeth so hard, I’m afraid he’ll break them.
A side I haven’t really seen from Shepp.
I turn the notebook toward Mikhail and read the words out loud. "He says you're the head of the Russian Mafia now. Danger will always find you. How can I trust that you'll keep my sister safe?"
"And more danger would find her here. It's no coincidence my father struck a deal with Shadow." His lips almost curl in disgust when he spits out Shadow’s name. "It's because I made it happen. I am the brains of the operation. Your sister is safe in my hands. I promise." Mikhail holds out his hand, leaving it suspended in the air.
I stare at it, waiting for me to take it. This is the moment I've been dreading. We’re agreeing with too few words. My gut rolls with indecision.
Patience sparkles in his eyes when I lift my gaze to examine the softness of his boyish face. He’s a boy playing a man’s part. Will he change as they age? Will Sunshine be able to step away if Mikhail proves to be as ruthless as the rest of the mafia men? Only time will tell.
I could keep asking myself questions repeatedly until I’m blue in the face. But this is an out for Sunshine—an out she wants.
I swear an entire year passes. I count the lines on his palm, the calluses lining his flesh, until I finally grip his hand, shaking it with more force than necessary. I may look like a meek woman in his eyes, but I’m anything but.
These hands have had blood staining them; I’m not afraid to paint them with his.
Mikhail yanks me closer, staring dead into my eyes. "Sunshine will be safe. I pledge my allegiance to her. Like I'll pledge the backing of the Russian Bratva to you, Mrs. Viotto."
Mrs. Viotto.
Fuck.
Jericho.
I shakily nod, taking all his words in. Shepp's hands grab my shoulders, gently pulling me back from Mikhail's orbit with a possessive growl. He grounds me again, glaring daggers in Mikhail's direction, looking nothing like the docile Shepp I love.
Mikhail signs to Shepp.
I’m slowly learning with Shepp. He’s teaching me a few things here and there, so I’m familiar with it. Once we’re off the island, I’ll crack open some books and hunker down to learn. It’s only fair.
Shepp scowls, reluctantly signing back. The tension bleeds from his face, and he nods several times as they converse silently. Something drastic must have changed for Shepp to look so relaxed after they finally set their hands down and respectively shake hands. Mikhail must have proved himself.
Somehow.
"I've heard things about Briar Cove and Gabriel Viotto's rulings. I've also heard rumblings of his kingdom falling. Whatever you go back to in Briar Cove will be messy and chaotic,” Mikhail says, straightening his spine again and following Sunshine with a new level of overbearing and protectiveness as she stands stock-still beside Shadow just outside the box.
Before I can hold my tongue, I spout, "Do you know if..."
"They ran. They're fine. I have friends in high places all over the world." He raises his chin with confidence.
Smug, little bastard.
"You're fucking fourteen," I grumble, earning a grin from him.
"No matter how young I am, it doesn't make a difference. I was brought up in this world as a weapon. That's what I was for my father—someone to be used for deals. I've seen a lot of things in my life. So, when I leave, I'll give you my contact information. My address. Whatever you need to feel secure with Sunshine's safety. I would never hold her hostage like The Viotto's." He side-eyes us just as Shadow and Sunshine step down from the ledge and approach the room. "That I can promise. Your sister is still your sister. But she's also my wife."
His words ping-pong inside my head. It could be worse, right? Sunshine could be stuck in this hellhole island for the rest of her life, with Shadow as her guide. Although Mikhail may now lead the Bratva, he seems to genuinely care about Sunshine. But then again, it's always better to go with the devil you know. Fuck. I may regret this, but I can't deny my little sister this opportunity to escape her father.
I have to have faith that Mikhail will take care of her, including her new heart.
But faith is the last thing I have in the fucking mafia.
"You have a deal," I blurt. "Keep her safe. I swear to God, if she gets hurt, I will fucking track you down. That's not a threat, either. My sister gets hurt or doesn't get the heart you're promising her. You're fucking dead." I level him with my best glare that promises a world of hurt if he fucks this up.
"I have no doubts about that, Mrs. Viotto," he says with a sly grin. "You have my word. And my word is my best attribute. With my word, I'll offer you backup when the time comes, and I know it will. This isn’t the last time you’ll see me or my army. Have Jericho contact me when you’re all situated.”
Without another word, Mikhail scoots away from me down the bench, leaving enough room for Sunshine to sit beside him as she makes her way into the glass box, none the wiser. His arm immediately goes around her shoulders, holding her close and whispering in her ear. I can only assume he’s retelling the plans to her when she looks in my direction. Her brows furrow, but the biggest grin I’ve ever witnessed greets me.
“Thank you,” she whispers, launching herself at me. Her arms wrap tightly around my body, squeezing me with all her might. “I promise I’ll be safe,” she says under her breath. “This will be for the best.”
Seeing the happiness physically light up my sister’s face brings joy to my heart. She’s been sick for so long and stuck in bed her entire life, eating healthy foods and avoiding activities. Sunshine has been careful her whole life, living it to the dullest. Now, she can leave the norm and finally receive the care she needs.
I can’t deny my sister the joy Mikhail brings her, even if it’s an act. If it is an act, I’ll save her whenever she needs me.
“I love you, Sunshine,” I murmur, kissing the top of her head and hugging her back. “I only want what’s best for you.”
“I know,” she chokes out. “But I promise, this is a good thing.” She nods once, peeling herself away from me. Tears cloud her eyes as she scoots into Mikhail’s waiting arms.
“You’re a good sister, Journey,” Mikhail says, possessively cuddling Sunshine.
Yeah, you better remember that. I’m a good fucking sister with the protective instinct of a mama bear.