Chapter 33
The darkness sinks all around me, pulling me further into its grasp. Like so many times before, my nightmares come out to play, taunting me with the mistakes of my past. The screams. Cries. My monster's voice. They're all there to coax me into the darkness and fall into their trap of bullshit.
I hug my knees, shivering in the tiny dress they left me in. It does nothing to ward off the cold ground or walls, constantly pouring in the chill. My mind wanders to Shepp, wondering where the fuck he is and if he's okay.
He had better be. Or Shadow will feel the full extent of my wrath.
Murderous plots take hold in my mind the longer I squeeze my eyes shut, listening to the incessant drips of water coming from the corner of the room. It's like a torture device set up to drive me to the brink of my sanity. And it's fucking working. I put my hands over my ears, trying to block this entire thing out, but it doesn't work. If I had my music. My sleeping pills. Then, I’d be okay. My life revolved around those to get me to finally shut my eyes. And turn off my mind.
I wonder if I could stab Shadow the next time I see him. Would I get away? Probably not. Fuck. Why can't he die? Maybe a heart attack in his sleep? A little poison in his wine? It's all doable now if nature would take its course and rid the world of his evil self.
I lie my head against the rough terrain of the cave wall. Occasionally, a rogue moan of pain echoes through my prison from somewhere down the long, dark hallway. My thoughts return to the woman who lost her arm in the fight yet still won. Is it her? Is she the one suffering in the dark with a wound that will probably kill her?
I squeeze my eyes shut. Whispered Words lyrics roll through my mind. Their melodies and lyrics are stamped in my memories forever. Whenever I’m down or need sleep, I can practically hear Kieran Knight's deep voice singing my favorite songs.
My breaths even out on the uncomfortable floor, and my mind fades into nothing. The darkness consumes me, taking me into dreamland.
At least for a little while.
I jolt awake when the squeak of the door opening pulls me from my frantic dreams. My heart pounds so hard, I swear it’s about to jump out of my chest and leave me altogether. I lick my lips, pulling myself into the sitting position, never taking my eyes off the man approaching me.
Shadow waltzes in with his hands shoved in his pockets. A slight smirk plays on his lips when he crouches in front of me as I sit against the wall.
"Good, you're awake." He tilts his head. "We have things to discuss."
"What things?" I rasp, rubbing my upper arms, attempting to warm them up. Shivers roll through me when he watches me closely, noting the goosebumps dimpling across my flesh.
"Expectations on how this trip is going to go."
"Okay," I say, raising my chin defiantly.
He smiles. "We're going to go to this wedding. Just you and I. Mikhail fled with your sister. It seems he has trust issues. Of course, he has a funeral to put on." He clicks his tongue several times before the news truly sets in.
My stomach drops into my stomach when he purses his lips. My sister is gone, whisked away by the child mafia leader. I didn’t get to say goodbye. Again. And now, I don’t have a fucking clue where they are. Except he’s in Miami. So, that tells me a lot. Not.
But wait. He said just him and I. So that means…
"No Shepp?" I ask, swallowing hard.
"Sheppard has some lessons to learn here. By himself. Without you meddling in what he's going to do."
No.
Fuck.
No.
Fingers grip my fucking frantic heart, bleeding me dry. He’s going to separate us once and for all. Why he hasn’t before, I don’t have a clue. Why keep us together? All so he could rip us apart in the end.
Panic swarms my insides, a relentless tide threatening to drown me beneath the waves pulling me under. I sputter for oxygen, drowning in the knowledge of my sister and Shepp. It’s all too much. Way too fucking soon. No doubt showing my panic on the outside. So, not my finest moments. My protective nature bubbles to the surface, aching to shield Shepp from the misery of his father and take my sister away from danger.
It's all too fucking much for me to handle.
Blasts of images from dinner flash through my mind. The visceral fear in his eyes every time his father beat the table with his fists. The stiffening of his muscles. Every flinch. It was all there, as plain as day. There’s no way he can survive in this hellhole by himself. Not for much longer, anyway.
I lick my lips. Desperate and trembling. My mind races. A whirlwind of thoughts and half-formed plans, screaming for a way to keep us together. To prevent the separation that looms like a death sentence. Because that’s what it would be. If he takes me away from Shepp, then more suffering will happen.
For both of us.
"What are you going to do to him?" I growl, staring directly into his beady eyes. Evil darkens his pupils. Giving him a demon-like appearance with no humanity present. "You better not fucking touch him—" I yelp when my head whips to the side, taking my body down with it. I smack into the cave floor, groaning at the pounding immediately taking over my forehead.
His fingers wrap around my throat, cinching tighter and tighter until he cuts off my oxygen, leaving me gaping like a fish out of water, begging to breathe.
I claw at him. Digging my fingernails into his flesh until blood trickles from his wounds and carves a path down his arms. He doesn’t seem to notice, continuing to press away.
"Here's the thing, Journey. I don't give a fuck. Shepp is staying here for insurance. You'd never run from me, would you? I can still pull the trigger on every operation. Sunshine? Dead. Mikhail? Obliterated. Then, I'll save Sheppard for last. I'll tie him to a chair in the basement and remove the rest of his tongue. I'll take finger by finger for every second you're gone. Do not run from me at the wedding. No matter who is there." With every word, he jostles me, knocking the back of my head against the rough cave—my vision blurs. Dots dance before my eyes, on the brink of falling into the darkness.
Until he releases his fingers around my windpipe, giving me back the oxygen I need.
I gasp, sucking in the air, desperately trying to control myself. Tears spill down my cheeks, showing the weakness I’ve always kept at bay. I can practically hear my monster’s words in the back of my mind, berating me for failing.
Stupid, stupid little emotional snake. Can’t keep it together? I’ll give you something to fucking cry about.
"Why bring me?" I choke out, clinging to the throbbing spot on my throat, attempting to soothe the pain.
"Why wouldn't I?" he asks, tilting his head. "You're needed there."
“But why?” I croak, desperate for answers. I need to know what I’m going up against when he drags me away from Shepp.
"For appearances," he growls, clenching his fists. "Jenni was your friend. Was she not?"
My breath stalls. Of course, she was my friend. I have many fond memories of our time together. We laughed. Joked. We watched movies and danced together. Hell, she even got me drunk. Okay, there were more than just a few evenings of drinks and bullshitting. Jenni made it her mission to corrupt me with booze. It's too bad the entirety of our friendship was built on a complete and utter lie. I was the spy who watched her and her father’s every move so I could report it back to my monster.
Then, her father disappeared.
Her mother, too.
And it’s all my fault—I think. I mean, I’m not positive about what happened to them. But I know she was alone before Elias kidnapped her back to his fortress on the other side of town to keep her safe.
Now, they’re getting married in an elaborate ceremony in Briar Cove.
God. My guilt gnaws at me for what I’ve done in the past. I couldn’t help it, though. And I couldn’t stop what I had to do because of my sister. I had to keep her protected from this cruel world. It's funny how that doesn’t matter anymore.
"I mean, yeah. But it was all fake.” I’d never allude to how real my friendship felt with Jenni. Was I sent to her to spy? Yes. But in the end, I enjoyed her company.
"Mhhmm," he says, rubbing his chin, losing himself deep in thought. When he snaps back to our conversation, something strange takes over his darkened eyes, like all humanity has disappeared. "Your duty to me is to keep your eyes on Elias. Then I want you to put a knife through his heart."
I blink several times. The words ring through my head. I repeat what he said in my mind—a knife through his heart. Did he say what I think he did?
"Why kill him? Isn't he an ally? Someone who runs your drugs?"
"From now on, when I say jump—you ask how high. That's it. No explanations. You will take Elias out. He is finished. He has betrayed my trust and is a traitor to my empire, and I want him gone. Got it?"
The familiar darkness I've become accustomed to whirls in, replacing my frantically beating heart with a steady one. My mind focuses on the task, taking in his orders, attempting to look like a good little soldier. He's taken everything from me again. My sister has shipped off. Shepp is locked somewhere else. Now, I've been assigned the task of murdering Elias White.
Why is my life like this? Why am I always the one to do these things?
This wedding is going to be one epic shit show of me trying to work the room.