3. Zhang Xiao Dan
Chapter 3
Zhang Xiao Dan
“ D o you think that woman would be stupid enough to sneak into our home?”
Xiao Dan nearly jumped out of his skin. He hadn’t even heard Ming Yu approach him from behind. It took him a moment to overcome his surprise and replay her question in his mind.
“No, I don’t think she would. Huli jing are known for being intelligent and crafty. I’m sure she would never have approached me if I hadn’t been alone.”
Ming Yu made a small noise of agreement as she stepped past him and peered out the front door. But no one was there. Xiao Dan had been pacing the house for what felt like hours. Kai had reassured him that Huli was safe and would return soon, yet he couldn’t relax. Not until he saw Huli for himself.
“Then we’re safe?”
“Yes.”
“So, this pacing is for your fox spirit?”
He wanted to argue with her unnecessary emphasis, but there was no point. Huli was his, as much as anyone could possess a fox spirit. They were carefree creatures who went where the wind took them. Sometimes he thought he might never see Huli again because the fox had lost interest in him.
“Yes, I’m worried about him doing something reckless.”
“Ah. Well, you’re wearing a groove in the floors. You can worry and help me stuff buns at the same time.”
Xiao Dan opened his mouth to argue, but he couldn’t figure out what to say. The words became stuck in his throat. Thankfully, Jiejie didn’t wait for him to agree. She simply grabbed his elbow and dragged him to the kitchen, where a bowl of meat and the dough for buns waited.
“Jiejie, it’s been centuries since I last helped you make steamed buns,” Xiao Dan admitted as he washed his hands.
“That’s fine. We’ll tell everyone that you made the lumpy, lopsided ones.”
Xiao Dan choked on a laugh. “I doubt anyone would believe you’d made anything that wasn’t perfect.”
A soft noise of agreement came from her throat. “I’ve had plenty of time to hone my craft.”
With a practiced ease, she stepped up to the island, picked up some flattened dough, ladled a dollop of meat in the center, and worked around the ball, closing it flawlessly with flying fingers. She made it look so easy.
“After getting a break from cooking for several centuries, you are now in the kitchen every day.” Xiao Dan tried to mimic her movements, but his pork-filled baozi really was pathetic. Jiejie tsked and took it from him. In the blink of an eye, she fixed his bun and added it to the bamboo steamer basket. She handed him another flattened circle of dough to try again.
“I worry we rely on you too much to handle all the cooking,” Xiao Dan continued. “You haven’t been a servant of the Zhang clan for almost two millennium. We can pitch in more. Handle more of the cooking.”
Ming Yu clicked her tongue at him as she accepted his second bun. “Smaller pleats, but this is better. And I appreciate your concern. No one treats me like a servant. I enjoy cooking, especially for the new mates. Rei, Leo, and Moon are completely new to our cuisine. Kai just raves about my dumplings as if the dragon hasn’t had a good meal in centuries.”
“And Xiao Ping Guo?”? 1 Xiao Dan asked with a growing smile.
“Feeding a little one?” Ming Yu sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. “I used to feed and hold all the children in the Zhang clan. After we became vampires, I thought I’d never have that again.”
“Erik is our perfect treasure.” Xiao Dan frowned at his baozi. This one felt like it was a step backward.
“And Huli always appreciates my cooking.” She snatched the bun out of his hand, tweaked it a bit, and added it to the bunch. “The point is, my greatest joy is caring for my family and seeing them happy. If I ever wish to take a night off, the others have all offered to cook. I will take them up on the offer. Right now, it is more than enough that Moon and the others always offer to clean up the kitchen after every meal I make for them.”
“I’m glad.”
“But me spending more time in the kitchen is not what has been preying on your mind.”
Crap . He’d known this was coming.
“Xiang mentioned Huli struck some bargain with that other fox spirit. That he promised that woman your soul.”
Xiao Dan lowered his head until his chin nearly touched his chest. He kept his eyes locked on the bun in his hands. His only reply was a soft grunt.
“You don’t care, do you?”
“No. I’m worried about Huli’s safety. What kind of trouble could he be in that he would agree to such a bargain?”
“That fox is very good at finding trouble for you,” Ming Yu murmured.
“Is that any different from Xiang or Yichen? Or even Mei Lian? They all went through restless periods and caused mischief. Besides, my soul doesn’t belong to Huli. He can promise it to whomever he wants. It doesn’t mean they’re going to get it.”
“And that is the end of you helping.” Ming Yu reached over and pulled the squished remains of a bun from Xiao Dan’s clenched fingers. “You’d think Erik was helping me. Go wash your hands.”
“Sorry, Jiejie.” He crossed to the sink and washed the bits of pork, spices, and dough from his fingers. He hadn’t even noticed he’d squeezed the bun until she was taking it away from him.
“Your soul might not belong to the huli jing, but it’s quite obvious your heart does. Have you ever told him you love him?”
Xiao Dan turned off the water, but didn’t move to face her. “Huli knows that I’m fond of him.”
Ming Yu snorted. “That wasn’t what I asked you.”
His eyes drifted to the sink as his fingers clenched the edge tight enough to make the veins on the back of his hands stand out. “No,” he muttered. “I’ve never been brave enough. Huli jing are free, unencumbered creatures that pursue the things that make them happy. Which confuses me all the more, because I’ve never been able to understand why he’s stuck close to me for so many years. I’ve never been an adventurous, free-spirited person. Not even when I was young. And Huli is so much younger than me. I’d already been a vampire for a thousand years that night I found him. I had the responsibility of the clan on my shoulders. What…what could he ever see in someone like me?”
“I think he sees the same thing we all see. You are someone who is thoughtful, caring, compassionate, and warm. You have always been someone we could turn to after our adventures away from home and we wanted to return to a safe harbor. Huli adores you for exactly who you are. No, he loves you.”
“Does he? I’m not so sure he understands what that word means. He’s not like us. Huli was never human. I don’t even know if a fox spirit is capable of love.”
And yet, that hadn’t stopped him from falling hopelessly in love with Huli. Seeing the fox spirit every evening, listening to his stories, and being the center of his world had become an addiction Xiao Dan was sure he had no hope of breaking. Even during the times Huli was being his most ridiculous or giving a rare glimpse at some of his more vicious impulses, Xiao Dan was still head over heels. His heart skipped to see the flash of those orange tails. Or as Huli shifted and Xiao Dan looked down to find those enormous eyes watching him with a greedy smile spreading across his mouth.
If he’d had to describe Huli’s feelings toward him, he’d be more inclined to describe them as an obsession. Not love.
“I doubt love is the same for any of us. It doesn’t matter if you’re human, vampire, dragon, or huli jing. Do you think Kai’s concept of love is the same as yours? The dragon has lived countless lifetimes longer than all of us, but not one of us would question his devotion to Xiang.”
“That is true.” Xiao Dan turned around to lean on the sink, his arms crossed loosely on his stomach while he watched Ming Yu steadily work her way through the dough, filling the small circles and forming them into perfect balls with gathered pleats at the top. Even though he’d largely given up food along with the rest of his clan mates years ago, the enthusiasm of Moon, Rei, and the others had won him back. He couldn’t deny that the scent of Ming Yu’s cooking would drag him to the kitchen to salivate over rich spices, fluffy buns, and delicious meat.
“Xiao Dan, you’ve known him for centuries,” Ming Yu said, her voice filling with new urgency. “Why have you waited so long? What has kept you from finally claiming him as your mate and being happy?”
“Fear.” He hated to say it out loud, but there was no other way to describe it. “I was afraid that he couldn’t actually love me. I was afraid that what Chen and Xiang were saying all these years was right and that he was just using me. What if I told him…and he laughed, proving that I’m just a stupid fool?”
“Idiots,” Ming Yu muttered as she dropped the spoon into her bowl, louder than before. “What could Huli have gotten from you? Food? Affection? Time? If Huli laughs at you for loving him all this time, he’s the fool, not you.” Her hands stopped moving, and she sighed. “Even if we have centuries ahead of us, time is still a precious thing. We never know how long we have with someone. Time should never be wasted.”
“The only thing I want to do is protect him. How am I supposed to do that? If he doesn’t tell me when he’s in trouble, I can’t keep him safe.”
“And if he doesn’t know that you love him, he’s going to be even more reluctant to share his troubles with you. Anyone with half a brain can see this clan keeps you occupied with worries. Do you think Huli wishes to add to your troubles?”
“No, of course not, but I…” Words failed him. He sighed. Why was it always so much easier to give advice to his fellow clan mates, but with his own love life, it was just a disaster?
“Talk to him. The moment he returns to the manor, tell him you love him. Before he even tries to explain anything about that other huli jing and the bargain he struck. Let him know he can lean on you for anything. Also, can you get me the second steamer out of the closet over there?” She waved her hand at the closet tucked into the other side of the kitchen near the double- door refrigerator. “I’ve learned to make a double batch. Leo can eat far more than his figure would have you believe.”
Xiao Dan pushed off from where he’d been leaning against the sink and crossed the kitchen, a scoffing noise escaping him. “I find it amazing that you’ve got such strong opinions about how I need to tell Huli how I feel, but you’ve yet to share your own feelings for a certain someone.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Ming Yu’s voice was slightly muffled as he stepped into the closet with shelves lining the three walls from floor to ceiling. There were numerous canisters for tea and other foodstuffs. They had a pantry for food, but this closet also served as a backup pantry to catch the overflow. Not to mention more cooking implements along with a strange array of small appliances that Ming Yu had gained to try out a few times and then declared that they weren’t better than her method.
His eyes skimmed the shelves for the familiar light-brown round bamboo steamer basket. “We can all see that you’ve been in love with Mei Lian for centuries, but you’ve only given the tiniest of hints. Like the special box of cookies for her you try to keep hidden from the rest of us. Or that you stare at her anytime she’s not looking your way. Or how you wear her favorite perfume. You’re happy to tell me to jump straight in, but you’re unwilling to take even the slightest risk. Content to waste so many years.”
He finally spotted the basket and snatched it off the shelf. He turned to ask Ming Yu if she also needed more liners, but he froze. Ming Yu’s eyes were wide and her lips trembled as she stared straight ahead. Not even her hands were moving, where they continued to cradle a half-formed bun.
Xiao Dan stepped out of the closet and looked to his left to see what had caught Ming Yu’s attention. His heart skipped a beat. Mei Lian stood in the doorway to the kitchen, fat tears slipping from her luminous eyes. Dressed in a pair of soft flannel pajama pants covered in blue and white bunnies, while her T-shirt was of a smiling boy running from a horde of zombies.
“You love me?” Her soft voice trembled and cracked.
Oh. Shit.
He hadn’t even heard her approach when he’d stepped into the closet, but she had clearly overhead every word he’d spoken. He might have wanted to help bring Ming Yu and Mei Lian together, but definitely not like this. Xiao Dan stood frozen, seriously debating whether he could slink into the closet before anyone remembered he was there.
“I-I-” Ming Yu stammered.
“Tell the truth! You love me like you would for your little shimei,? 2 and that’s all.”
“No.” Ming Yu lowered her head and swallowed hard. “I love you like I would a mate or a wife. I’ve loved you for so long…”
“But you’ve never said anything.” Mei Lian stomped her foot, jerking Xiao Dan’s and Ming Yu’s eyes up to her furious face. “I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I’d just arrived, and you asked one of the other servants to show me to my quarters, but all I wanted to do was stay there with you. To you, I was some stupid girl sent to be married off to someone she’d never even met. I’ve always been some stupid child to you.”
“No! Never! I never thought of you like that!”
Mei Lian continued as if Ming Yu hadn’t spoken. “And now you say that you love me while I’ve loved you for centuries. I’ve waited for some small sign. Anything. I—” Her voice finally shattered. She spun around and ran off down the hall.
Ming Yu’s stricken gaze snapped to Xiao Dan as if begging for him to tell her what to do. Xiao Dan rushed to the island and placed the steamer on the counter. “Go!” he ordered as he grabbed the bun in her hands. “Go after her. Talk to her. Tell her you love her!”
Ming Yu didn’t hesitate another second and darted off after the other vampire while a soft smile formed on Xiao Dan’s lips. Okay, he’d never wanted to expose Ming Yu’s secret—and certainly not like that—but this reckoning was overdue. Maybe now they could enjoy some of their long lifespans together as mates.
He hummed to himself as he packed away the remaining dough and the pork filling. Either Ming Yu would settle things with Mei Lian and lure the other woman to the kitchen for a lengthy talk and steamed buns, or she wouldn’t be seen until tomorrow evening and this entire batch would be thrown out.
The only thing that mattered was that Ming Yu and Mei Lian were happy. The rest would work itself out.
Standing there alone, Xiao Dan found Ming Yu’s words were still ringing in his ears. He had wasted too much time keeping his feelings to himself. He’d known for years that Huli wasn’t playing some shifty trick on him. Huli treasured the time they had together and even put up with hate from Xiao Dan’s clan mates just to steal a few moments with him.
That would end now. The rest of his clan had claimed their mates and found their happily ever afters. Xiao Dan wouldn’t let anything else stand between him and Huli. Especially some unknown huli jing. He needed to be brave and tell Huli the truth.
1 ? Xiao Ping Guo – little apple, affectionate nickname for Erik
2 ? Shimei – younger martial sister