Ulfar (Intergalactic Surrogacy Agency #4)

9. Fallen Stars

FALLEN STARS

SARAH

W hen I worked as a librarian, one of my guilty pleasures was reading the steamiest romance novels I could get my hands on. I imagined it was me having all those sexy escapades, even though I knew it would likely never happen in real life. Fiction is always better than reality, right?

How wrong I was.

I’m lying under the cool satin sheets, enjoying the feel of the cloth against my bare skin as I stare up at the clouds through the skylight. My heat’s finally passing, and even though my body’s sore from all the sex, I’ve never been so satisfied and confident in my life.

Since I started working with my heat instead of against it, I’ve experienced heights of pleasure I’d only read about. I surprised myself with how easily I gave in. How submissive I become when I’m with him, and how his stern voice and loving dominance make me feel powerful in a way that I never have before.

I began asking for what I wanted. I began to respect not only him, but my own body as well.

And with every night that passes, I find my heart opening further. Feel myself slipping into feelings I have no right to feel.

It will make my eventual betrayal that much harder, and yet...

I wouldn’t take it back for the world.

I sit up and throw my legs over the bed, yawning and stretching before padding over to the dresser. Ulfar had it filled with clothes in his people’s style, and while I found some of the garments a bit odd at first, I can’t deny they’re extremely comfortable. Slipping a soft, airy dress over my head, I run a brush through my hair before putting it up into a ponytail.

I’m leaving the cottage today for the first time since my heat started. Vi and I are going to meet at the gardens nearby, and I can’t help but wonder how she’s doing. Vi is the only other person I even slightly know around here, and it will be nice to talk to someone who isn’t Ulfar for a change.

My clit throbs at the thought of him. Even though my heat is finally dissipating, I can’t help the way my body reacts to him. At first, I thought it was purely a hormonal thing, an artificial attraction no more trustworthy than a love potion, but as time went on I realized that my feelings went deeper than that.

I think I’m actually falling for him.

Which means I’m so totally screwed. And not even in the fun way.

* * *

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!” Vi’s booming voice greets me before I even see her. I whirl around to find her standing there, arms outstretched and a huge grin on her face. If she was exuberant before, now she’s positively glowing.

“Vi!” She pulls me into a hug and her strength nearly chokes me. “Vi! Okay, I get it, you’re choking me—”

“Ah, sorry ‘bout that. Sometimes I don’t know my own strength, ya know?”

“It’s fine,” I croak, pulling away from her grip and taking a deep breath. “I’m glad to see you too.”

We start walking down the cobblestone path, following it past the rows of flowers to the small creek bursting with all types of alien fish. Mushrooms as large as trees tower over us and provide a canopy from the sun, each one as brightly colored as the last. Strange birds chitter and clack overhead, and soft pink petals flutter through the air on a gentle breeze.

It’s a perfect day, and I realize for the umpteenth time just how nice it actually is here. Even though it’s merely a contractual obligation, I wouldn’t mind living here. The landscapes are gorgeous, and the men aren’t bad either.

In another life, if the Syndicate wasn’t hunting my father and me down, maybe we could have a life here. Maybe we could be happy.

“Sarah? You still in there?” Vi’s voice jerks me out of my thoughts, and I give her what I hope is a convincing smile.

“Sorry, yeah. I’m just...thinking.”

“Bout what?” Vi isn’t one to sugarcoat things, but I appreciate that about her. Bluntness is helpful when there seem to be hidden motives around every corner.

Hidden motives like mine, I realize with a grimace.

“Just. Everything. It’s a lot to take in, you know?”

“That I do. How’d your heat go, anyway? I know you were nervous about it. The big fella calm down once you got to know him?”

I snort, but the blush that rushes to my cheeks gives me away. “Something like that.”

“Oooh, sounds like you had some fun. Spill!”

“He’s...” As I try to think about how to describe him, my heart skips a beat and I can’t miss the pang of emotion that burrows its way deep inside. “He’s nice.”

“Nice? So you mean you weren’t getting plowed into the mattress for the past two weeks?”

“Vi!” I gasp at her forwardness, but I should have expected it. My thighs clench at her words, the memory of his affections all too recent. “But yeah...that too.”

“Ayy, atta girl!” She slaps me on the back with a laugh. “Knew you could do it.”

“Yeah,” I say, but my thoughts are already far away again. With every word, with every second, the lingering knowledge of what I’m going to have to do hangs over me like a weight. There’s no escaping it. I made the deal, and if I fail to uphold my end of the bargain, I’ll not only lose my father, but my entire village...

With a deliberate swallow, I push down the nausea and change the subject to something I know she wants to talk about. “So how was yours, then? I haven’t heard anything about your mate. Who’d you get matched with?”

“His name’s Djorn. And let’s put it this way—I want to fuck him almost as much as I want to strangle him.”

I raise an eyebrow at that. “You want to strangle him? Is he mean to you, or?”

“Nah, not like that. We just butt heads. It’s all in good fun.” She winks at me knowingly. “And besides, it makes the sex super hot.”

“If you say so.”

We reach the banks of the creek and find it glittering in the midday sun, the crystal-clear waters almost blinding. I can see fish swimming to and fro from here, and the sandy bank is scattered with small pink stones in the shape of stars.

“They call them fallen stars,” Vi points out. “Local legend says if you toss one into the water you can make a wish. Wanna try it?”

A wish. I could sure use one of those right now. With a small, sad smile, I nod. “Sure.”

I pick up the nearest stone and turn it over in my hands, admiring the smooth surface. It’s about as big as my palm and rounded by the endless movement. I’ve never seen anything like it back on Earth, and part of me wants to keep it as a souvenir. Something to remember this planet by, when I inevitably have to...

“Got your wish ready?” Vi calls.

“Y-yeah,” I croak, gripping the stone as tightly as I can.

“All right. Three, two, one, throw!”

My stone sails through the air and lands with a splash, scattering the fish and rippling the glass-like surface. As the rings spread ever outward, one thought lodges itself deeper in my mind:

I wish this could be real.

We stand like that in silence for some time, both of us watching the creek and enjoying the feeling of the sun on our skin. After some time, Vi speaks.

“So now that heat’s over, we’re probably pregnant. Are you nervous?”

That’s an understatement. A fresh wave of nausea clenches my stomach, and I’m not sure if it’s from anxiety or my supposed pregnancy. “Yeah.” Then, after a moment of staring out onto the water, I add, “I almost hope I’m not.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

I know she’s genuinely curious, but she doesn’t know the half of it. Part of me wants to tell the truth, to let her know everything. But I can’t get her in trouble with the Syndicate too. She deserves a nice, peaceful future. Unlike me.

So I end up with the lamest excuse in the book. It’s not a lie, but it’s miles away from the whole story. “I was thinking if I wasn’t pregnant yet, I could stay here longer.”

Staying here wouldn’t be the worst gig in the world. Being pampered like a princess, getting to eat delicious meals whenever I want, and having the best sex of my life? I could get used to this.

And that’s what scares me.

“Listen, I know it’s natural to want to stay as long as you can. We got it pretty good, after all. But there’s no telling what the future will hold. The heat pheromones make pregnancy practically a done deal, so let’s just enjoy the time we have. Don’t get so wrapped up in worries that you forget to live.”

My heart aches at her words, but I know she’s right. So with a sniff, I push away the sadness once more and lean into the arm she’s wrapped around my shoulder. “Okay,” I say softly, and hope that it’s enough.