11. Lovers
LOVERS
SARAH
A ll of the carefully constructed walls, all of the safeguards I put up around my heart, crumble at his earnest declaration. What am I supposed to say to something like that? The gravity of the gesture sinks in at last.
He loves me. In more than just a contractual way. He actually loves me and wants me to stay here, with him. It’s possible, of course—that’s what omegas like Janie and Isabella did—but for me? Even if I wanted to, I can’t.
A rush of anger flares up, unbidden. It isn’t fair. If it weren’t for my father and his ‘mistake’ so many years ago, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I would be free to do as I wished. I could build a life here, with him and the rest of the alphas and omegas in this small town. I could open a library. Share my love of books with a new generation, a new world even.
Too bad I don’t get to have any of that. All because of the Syndicate. Fresh tears well up under my eyelids and for once I don’t stop them. To Ulfar, it will simply look like I teared up at his confession. But it’s so much more than that.
It’s the realization that I may not ever get to have a normal life the way all these other women do. That even if I do this thing for the Syndicate, who’s to say they won’t find another way to screw us over in the future? The happily ever after that I read about in books...that’s for other people. Not me. Not this time.
Vi’s words at the creek ring in my ears, painful but present. Enjoy your time while you can, she said. Don’t spend so much time worrying about the future that you forget to live, she said.
One day, and one day soon, I’ll have to break Ulfar’s heart. But if there’s no way around it, then why can’t I take advantage of this relationship while it lasts? I look up at him, wide-eyed and lost.
“Ulfar...I don’t know what to say.” My heartbeat rumbles in my chest. My breath heightens. When my eyes meet his, something shifts between us. Like the expression on his face, his very presence is the anchor. The answer I need.
“Then don’t say anything,” he murmurs. Those brilliant golden eyes bore into my soul, and for a brief second I feel like he’s unlocked something there, deep down in my chest.
This time I don’t have to say anything. I do what he says, and simply act.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him down and into a passionate kiss. He responds in kind, freezing up for only a second before kissing me back with such ferocity it takes my breath away. I draw back, panting, and both of us watch each other with lust-filled, shocked expressions.
“Are you sure?” Ulfar breathes, eyes wide at my initiation. This is the first time I’ve actually prompted him to have sex with me in such an active fashion, and it feels right .
We’re not in heat anymore. We’re not beholden to our hormones or our animal urges. This is us. The real us. Coming together as man and woman because we want to. Because we share a bond deeper than just alpha and omega. And even if I can’t be with him forever, I want to show him just how much he means to me tonight.
“Does it look like I’m sure?” I coo and kiss him again.
With a happy grumble, he hoists me into the air in a bridal carry and walks the short distance to the bed. Instead of tossing me into the blankets, he deposits me lovingly on top of the comforter, and it’s like lying on a cloud.
I look up at him with tear-brimming eyes as he removes his clothes. Layer by layer, he bares himself to me, and it’s like watching the most wonderful unwrapping I’ve ever seen.
“All of this,” Ulfar says with a deep, reverent voice. “This is all for you, Sarah. What I’ve been fighting for. What I’ve been living for.” He kneels down on the bed, spreading my legs and lifting my hips to remove my bottoms.
The words roll around in my head before sinking lower, settling themselves deep in my heart.
Ulfar...I’m sorry...
He peels away the last of my clothing until I too lay bare before him, both of our bodies clasped together in the purest expression of intimacy I know. This time it is not a contractual agreement. It is not a hormonal frenzy. It is not a primal imperative to breed and claim.
It’s just me and him. Ulfar and Sarah. Alien and human. Male and female. Holding one another and reveling in each other’s touch. In each other’s presence. And as he strokes one hand over my bare skin and goosebumps appear in his wake, I shiver with the intensity of the feeling that washes over me.
It’s not the searing discomfort of the heat. It actually feels...good. A calm, flickering fire like a warm hearth after a day in the snow. A safe feeling. A protective, cozy feeling. That this is right. This is where I’m supposed to be.
And I let that warmth take me, tide me over as our bodies intertwine.
Ulfar, I love you.
And that has to be enough.
He presses kisses everywhere he can reach—my cheeks, my lips, my neck, my collarbones. I throw back my head and let out a sigh. Every place he kisses tingles under his touch, another spark in the fire that burns inside.
Ulfar moves down to my breasts, circling the nipples before taking one into his mouth. I gasp and claw at the sheets, but he holds me down with one strong arm while using the other to flick at my other breast. The sensations flooding through me this time are purely for him. No longer am I doing this out of obligation. Out of fear.
These feelings are for him and him alone.
The Syndicate is still out there. Still waiting on me to fulfill my end of the bargain. My father’s life and more hang in the balance. But for tonight, all that matters is me and him, and the bond we share.
“You are simply...” Ulfar chants as he moves lower, kissing the soft swell of my belly and spreading my thighs with his large hands. “Divine.” And when he puts his mouth down there and starts to lick, I can almost agree with him.
“Don’t stop,” I pant, fingers clenching the thick strands of his hair as I thrust my hips upward, desperate for more of him. “Don’t ever stop.”
“Stay with me, Sarah,” he moans between sucking my clit and thrusting his tongue deep inside. The pleasure twists and rises toward a peak, clenching like a spring about to unfurl. “Say you’ll stay with me, forever.”
And as he draws my clit into his mouth one last time, filling my dripping cunt with his fingers, I lose control completely. “Yes!” I scream to the heavens. To anyone who is listening. My body shakes and trembles with each aftershock, bucking against his fingers like I’m milking his cock all over again.
As the waves pass and we slow, still riding the high of connection, an idea crosses my mind. Something I haven’t had the courage to do even in a hormone-fueled frenzy, and if I’m going to be leaving him soon, I want to try it. I want him to know just how much he turns me on. So gathering the rest of my strength, I press my hands to his chest and push upward, with what I hope is a seductive grin on my face.
“Now my turn.”
“What are you—” he starts, but I nudge him to turn over and let my actions do the talking. He rolls onto his back, looking up at me with love in his eyes. His cock is still hard and jutting up against his stomach. It’s still a monster of a dick, and although my pussy was able to accommodate him, I have my doubts about my mouth.
Still, my core clenches at the thought of tasting him. Of his smooth skin stretched taut over his hardness. Of every bump and ridge on his alien member. It’s the same color as the rest of him, only an even warmer hue as it’s flushed with blood and arousal. His lips part in surprise as I take him in hand, wrapping both hands around his length.
He’s so big that even both hands can’t encompass his full length, but that’s okay—I have one last trick at my disposal. With a deep breath I lean down and lick at the rosy tip, enjoying the twitch of his cock beneath my skin. He sucks in an audible breath, hands finding purchase in the sheets while I squeeze him tighter.
“Sarah...” he moans, watching my every move. “Fuck.”
His sounds give me confidence and I take more of him into my mouth, opening as wide as I can. It’s still only the head, but I use my tongue to lap around the crown, my fingers stroking and twisting as they move up and down the shaft. He hisses, muscles tense, and I can tell just how much restraint he’s showing by not grabbing my head or thrusting into my mouth.
My clit throbs with every stroke and eases the stretch of my lips around his girth. Looking up at him through my lashes, I see him watching with pure wonder on his face.
“What’s the matter?” I say with a smirk, his head slipping out from between my lips with a pop. “The Aesirheim girls never do this?”
“No,” he pants. “Never. How did you—“
“Just one of my many talents,” I say with a smirk before going down on him again. The fact that I’m the one to do this to him brings me no small amount of pride. I may be a small human and physically weak in comparison to his people, but no one else can bring him to his knees like this. No other woman even thought to bring him pleasure like this.
And before I leave this planet, I’m going to make sure he never forgets the way I made him feel.
With a combination of licking, sucking, and kissing every part of him I can reach, I stroke his cock with increasing speed and pressure until his face is red with strain and his eyes squeeze closed in concentration.
This time, it’s my turn to say it. “Let go,” I whisper against his flesh. “Give it to me.”
Just like that, it’s like a switch flips. Ulfar sits up, pure animal lust in his eyes. “I want you,” he growls, pulling away from my hands and mouth. “I want to finish inside of you. Feel you clench around me, please. I need to be inside you, right now.”
And though I’m momentarily disappointed that he won’t cum in my mouth, his words have me close to the edge already. As he grabs and flips me over, I see just how much he was holding back.
“Fuck,” he grunts as his length spears inside of me with one smooth stroke. I’m still so wet, so turned on for him that it’s the most natural thing in the world. My walls welcome him in, and as he drives home it’s like two pieces of a puzzle connecting at last. He winds his hands in my hair, pressing his forehead to mine as he makes short , shallow thrusts deep inside.
“Sarah,” he chants like a prayer, pushing me deeper, pushing me closer. “Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah!”
And with a shudder that feels like it could shake the entire house, he roars out his release and stays there, buried inside me, filling my aching cunt with his seed as we cling to each other for dear life. Not as surrogates. Not as alpha and omega.
For the first time, we are only lovers.