13. Autographed Copy
AUTOGRAPHED COPY
SARAH
“A ll right,” Ulfar says. His large, warm hands cover my eyes and I can hear the grin in his voice. “Open your eyes.”
He pulls his palms away, and as I stare out at the dazzling landscape, I suck in a gasp.
We’re standing in a clearing deep in the mushroom forest. Butterflies flit in and out through the trees and sparkle like diamonds in the sunlight that filters down to the surface. Vines hang from the tall trees and fungi, swaying gently in the springtime breeze. Before us is a beautiful grotto, formed from where the ground collapsed around the creek above. It’s created a sort of crater lake, shining with a surface like glass.
Ulfar’s hand is strong and comforting against the small of my back, and the gravity of the sight almost makes me weak in the knees. It’s beautiful…
And far more than I deserve.
“What is this place?” I whisper, craning my head to look up at him.
“This is what I wanted to show you. One of my favorite spots. Where I go to reflect. Relax.” He gestures at the shimmering lake. A pink leaf that looks like a lily pad floats on the surface, and I watch a small amphibian creature leap out of the water and land on top of it, staring up at us with beady red eyes.
“It’s amazing.” That’s all the words I can think of at the moment. My real feelings are much more emotional. Much more complex. But words can’t do justice to the sheer majesty I see all around me.
Aesirheim has been nothing but surprise after delightful surprise. It’s teeming with more natural splendor than any place I’ve ever seen on Earth, and the bright colors and mysterious plants and animals never cease to amaze me. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it. I wonder if he has. If he realizes just how good he has it.
You won’t have time to get used to anything, remember? The sour memory sticks in my mind like a thorn. This is all temporary. You’re going to leave him. You’re going to betray him. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
I grimace against the pain and hope he doesn’t notice. For now, I just want to enjoy this time we have together.
Shut up, brain.
“I thought we could set up a tent here. Spend the night. Take in the stars away from the lights and activity of the ISA.” He nudges me. “Our own little vacation.”
“That sounds lovely,” I admit. My heart warms whenever I’m next to him. Like my whole life has been a cold winter’s day, and he’s finally the soothing hearth I needed. He breaks down all my barriers and makes me feel seen. Wanted. Loved.
“And I brought you something,” he adds, rummaging in the bag he’s brought along. “A gift.”
My heart nearly stops. “A gift?” What is he thinking now?
“It’s nothing fancy,” he assures me. “But it’s something I think you’ll like. Something...” Ulfar pauses. “Something that I hope will make you think of me, every time you look at it.”
My stomach twists in anticipation. Now I’m really curious.
Ulfar pulls out a thin rectangle wrapped in shiny gold paper. A red ribbon holds it closed. I turn it over in my hands, admiring the presentation, before tugging at the bow. It falls open easily, and there in the center of the wrapping paper is a book. But not just any book—it’s from the series we talked about not so long ago. And it’s one I’ve never seen before.
“Is this...?” My thoughts start to race as I look at the spine and check the numbering. “No way!”
It’s the next book in the series. I didn’t even know it was out yet, and here it is in my hands. My gasp turns into a scream of surprise when I open the cover and see an inscription there in elegant handwriting.
“To Sarah: don’t be afraid to reach for the stars. —Erzo Winston”
It’s all I can do to choke back the tears at this point. Not only did he go out of his way to find the new book in my favorite series, but he somehow got it signed by the elusive author himself. And not only that but made out to me personally as well? I can’t believe it.
Ever since we met each other, he’s been nothing but kind. Dominant, commanding, and devilishly sexy at times, but beneath it all is a tender kindness that I’ve never experienced before.
He’d be a great husband, I find myself thinking. He’s going to make some girl very happy one day.
Too bad it can’t be me.
Shaking my head, I focus on the moment between us. On the small ripples on the lake and the way one of the jewel-like butterflies alights on the surface of the water without sinking.
“Let me help with the tent,” I say, thinking that doing something with my hands will help keep my mind off of things. As long as I stay busy, stay active, I can get through this without breaking down.
“You don’t have to,” he says with a smile. “You can explore, relax, do whatever you want. I love taking care of you, so I can set everything up. All you need to do is enjoy yourself.”
“I want to help.” I press a hand to his chest and give him the same smile. “It pleases me as well.”
“Are you sure?” Ulfar hesitates.
I nod.
He draws me close and presses a kiss to my forehead. “You’re full of surprises, little omega.”
You have no idea.
Part of me wants to just stay here, to lean into the kiss and let him sweep me off my feet all over again. But it will be night soon, and we’ll need to get a tent and a fire going before then. That’s the only thing that keeps me from jumping his bones right here and now.
Ulfar draws away at last, but the look on his face shows he’s thinking the same thing I am. “You can go gather firewood while I set up the tent. Don’t go far, all right?”
“I won’t,” I promise before turning my back on him. While he looks for a clear spot to pitch the tent, I delve deeper into the forest, eyes on the ground.
I probably should have asked him what viable firewood looks like here on Aesirheim. The mushroom trees don’t exactly have traditional wooden branches. I’m not sure how anything will burn in this wet, swampy environment, but I have to trust Ulfar.
Trust . The word bounces around in my head. As if I have any right to be making judgments about trust.
I pick up a few dried-out stalks that are about the same thickness as my arm, hefting them against my side while I trek deeper into the woods.
My mind wanders as I walk, and it lands on my father. His smile. The way he would lift me in the air when I was a child. The way I felt so weightless, like I was flying. I can’t leave him. No matter how good my life is here. He deserves better. He gave up so much for me, and now it’s my turn.
As I pick up more firewood and head back to camp, however, I try to think of any alternative ideas. There’s got to be something I haven’t considered yet. Some loophole, something I can do to make things better for all of us. I can’t bear the thought of parting with my as yet unborn baby, but maybe I can renegotiate.
Or maybe I can finally open up to Ulfar once and for all.
The thought terrifies me, but what if he could actually help? Ulfar has shown himself to be a strong and capable alpha, and quite a gentleman to boot. Sure, he has a strict code of rules and standards, but maybe he could bend the rules for me. Just this once.
On the other hand, the idea of what might happen if he finds out and doesn’t approve almost scares me even more than the Syndicate itself. What if he reports me to the ISA for my betrayal? He’s too strong, too fast, and too smart to escape on my own. I’ll be as good as dead if they send me to the prison planet, and my father’s fate will be sealed. I’ll never see him again.
“Hmm,” I mumble to myself, crouching down to brush through a bed of crispy pink leaves to find yet more kindling. He always says that he wants to protect and look out for me, but would he still do that if he knew the truth?
Because having a tall, intimidating alien alpha on my side when I go up against the Syndicate would make me feel a lot safer. Maybe we could fight. Maybe we could win. Take the baby and my father, come back here to Aesirheim. Back to Ulfar. Make a life together.
I sigh, the tense muscles of my shoulders aching. It’s no use. Just a fantasy. The Syndicate owns my ass, and there’s no way around it. That’s why I need to hurry up and come up with a plan to get off the planet before I hurt either of us even more. I haven’t been confirmed pregnant yet, but with the amount of sex we had during our heat? It would be a miracle if at least some of that alien seed didn’t take.
Chewing my lip, I see Ulfar in the distance putting the finishing touches on the campsite. He puts a hand up to his forehead to shield him from the sun’s rays and stands up straight, stretching his back. Even though he’s clothed, I can see his muscles flex from here. My mouth waters despite myself.
Right. Gotta get back to camp. He turns his head and catches my eye through the foliage. Gives me a smile and a wave that nearly melt my heart.
I wave back and jog to catch up with him, the thoughts and fears and memories still playing in my mind. Tonight, I have to put my plan into action. I can’t wait any longer. I can’t let myself sink any deeper.
Before we leave, I’m going to make my move. I just hope that he can forgive me.
* * *
After we get a fire going and he shows me how to roast kebabs over the open fire, I’m full and tired, but I still have one more thing to do tonight. The moon is starting to rise overhead and shine her light down upon us. Fireflies make their way out of the ground and fly through the air, sparks of gold in the waning dusk. I get up off of the log we’ve been using as a bench and stifle a yawn before turning to him.
“Had enough to eat?” he asks, waving a final skewer at me. “There’s one more if you want it.”
I shake my head and slip a finger under the strap of my top, sliding it off my shoulder and watching him with a grin. “I think I’m hungry for something else...”
Ulfar’s eyes light up. The kebab falls to the side, all but forgotten. “Is that so?” he says, drawing close. “And just what could that be?”
“Hmm, I don’t know,” I tease him, swaying my hips as I step toward the water’s edge. With my back turned I pull my shirt over my head and toss it to the side, looking over my shoulder at him with a smirk. “I was thinking about sampling some of the Aesirheim delicacies. Indulge in something I can only get on-planet, if you know what I mean...”
He makes quick work of his shirt and pants as well, following me with a wicked expression. “Oh, I think I know what you mean...” And with that he wraps his huge arms around my middle, hauling me into the air. I respond with a happy scream, playfully beating at his chest and shoulders while I flail against his grip. It’s all a show. I love how strong he is. How easily he can manhandle me.
And he knows it.
With a grin, he puts me down. We wade into the lake together, laughing and splashing at one another as the moon watches us from above, the droplets of water on our bodies making everything hot and wet.
“Sarah,” he breathes, pressing a heated kiss to my temples, my cheeks, and finally my lips. My legs hook around his waist, and the combination of the water and his strength makes me feel weightless.
“Ulfar,” I respond, nuzzling into his neck and arching my hips against him.
“Is this the dessert you were talking about?” Ulfar nips at my ear. The timbre of his voice sends a shiver down my spine.
“Mmm,” I hum. The water isn’t the only thing making me wet right now. “Something like that.”
“Good,” he growls, hoisting me higher so that I can feel the hard length of his cock pressing up against me. He’s so close now. If I could just angle my hips a little more, he’d be inside.
“Ulfar,” I pant again, trying to rub against him with everything I have. “Please. I need you. Now.”
He lets out a laugh. It’s a low, hearty rumble that would make me weak in the knees if I wasn’t already in his arms. “But you already have me, little one.”
I can’t help it. I let out a frustrated whine, pressing myself into him. I bury my face in his neck, drawing in as much of his scent as I can. This time the desperation isn’t because of a hormonal heat cycle.
It’s because I truly want him. And because I want to burn this moment into my memory forever, so I can remember him when I leave. I will always want to remember how loved and cherished he made me feel. How special. How safe.
“Use your words,” he prompts me, his wide hands resting on the curve of my ass.
I’m sure I’m blushing redder than the mushrooms on the bank, but I’m too far gone to care. “Y-your cock. Ulfar. I need you inside of me. Please.”
Another chuckle. Damn him. He knows just what he’s doing to me, and he’s enjoying every second of it. “All you had to do was ask, little one. Was that so hard?”
I don’t need to say a word in answer. The combination squeal and moan that I let out when his cock spears into me says more than I ever could.
We rock together, letting out sounds of primal joy that only the forest can hear. And as he cries out my name and fills me to the brim with his cum one last time, I swear that I’ll remember this feeling forever.