Chapter 7
CHAPTER 7
A spen’s stomach rolled and her eyes shot open.
She was going to be sick.
She slid out of bed, almost falling on her face in the process, and on her first step, stubbed her toe on the bedside table.
She cried out and scrunched her eyes, hopping and grabbing her toe.
Jesus freaking Christ.
Her belly rolled a second time, and she ran, ignoring the pain in her foot.
Damn her bedroom for not having an attached bathroom.
She’d almost made it to the bathroom when a very large, dark shadow appeared from seemingly nowhere, stopping in front of her.
She screamed, her heart thrashing in her chest.
His face came into focus and she gasped in air. Jesse. It was just Jesse.
His gaze moved around the hall before he searched her face. “Are you okay? I heard you cry out.”
She looked down at his hand. “You’ve got a gun?”
“Of course I have a gun. I thought you screamed.”
“I—” The bile crawled up her throat, cutting off her words.
Oh no…not in front of Jesse. She turned into the bathroom and dropped beside the toilet. She didn’t even have time to kick the door closed before every drink she’d consumed that night came back up.
Footsteps sounded behind her.
He was right here. Inside the bathroom. Jesus Christ Almighty, someone kill her.
“Can you close the door?” she gasped when her stomach finally stilled. She dropped her forehead into her palms and closed her eyes.
The door didn’t close. In fact, she heard footsteps moving even closer.
No, no, no.
She wanted to tell him— scream at him—to leave before she died of embarrassment. But before any words could leave her throat, another wave of nausea hit and she started throwing up a second time.
Warm fingers brushed the back of her neck as her hair was pulled up. She opened her mouth to tell him to leave, but then he started to rub circles on her back. Warm, soothing circles that almost distracted her from her swirling belly and head.
The words died on her lips, and she leaned into his touch.
Dumb. She’d been so dumb tonight. Or last night. She had no idea what the time was.
“I should have listened to you,” she groaned, finally flushing the toilet and backing away, Jesse’s hand replaced by the cool tiled wall.
His brown eyes darkened with concern. “I should have made sure you ate something before you went to bed. I’m sorry.”
“Believe it or not, I am a fully grown woman and know better than to drink on an empty stomach.” She tilted her head. “I’m sorry you got a front-row seat to my stupidity.”
“I just want to make sure you’re okay.” His frown deepened. “ Are you okay?”
Right now? Or in general? It probably didn’t matter—both answers would be the same. “I’m not sure.”
His beautiful eyes flickered between hers. “What can I do?”
“Try not to be so perfect.”
He chuckled, and it transformed his entire face. “I’m far from perfect.”
“Liar.” She swallowed, breathing through some of the nausea. But she didn’t just feel sick. It was something deeper. “Can I tell you something?” she asked quietly.
“Anything.”
“I kind of don’t like who I’ve become.”
His eyes darkened. “Aspen—”
“No, it’s just… I used to think I was such a strong person. I used to pride myself on it. Now, I’m not sure that was ever true. I think I just never had to be strong.”
He seemed to think about that for a moment. “Do you know what I first thought when I met you?”
“That I was a mess?”
His lips didn’t so much as twitch. “That you were someone I wanted to get to know. You looked interesting and deep and brave .”
“You can’t tell any of those things about someone when you just meet them.”
“I can.”
“How?”
“It’s in the eyes. And your eyes tell me a lot. Even the things I have a feeling you wish I didn’t know.”
“Do you still think I’m brave?”
“You have to be. You moved across the country, away from the only home you’ve ever known. You left your best friend. All to break away from your mother and ex.”
One deep breath. “There you go again, being perfect.”
“Is that so bad?”
“Yes.” A huge, gigantic yes. Because it tested every ounce of self-control she had. “It makes me want something I shouldn’t want…you.”
Jesse couldn’t breathe when she looked at him like that. With eyes so sad that all he wanted to do was sweep her up. Shield her from whatever demons were in her head.
“You could,” he said softly. “Want me.”
“I got burned the last time I wanted someone, and I still haven’t recovered.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I hate that he hurt you.”
“I hate that I let him hurt me.” A sad smile curved her lips. “You know, I used to believe in this magical kind of love. The kind that just hit you in the face and changed the world around you.”
“And now?”
“Now I know the truth…there is no magic.”
Anger pulsed through his veins that her asshole ex had done this. “I believe in magic.”
She scoffed. “You do not.”
“I do. But not a hit-you-in-the-face kind. The magic is when you feel safe with someone, physically and emotionally. It’s trusting them with your entire self, even the parts you think they’ll run from. It’s wanting to see someone, talk to them, every day.”
Her brows flickered, her voice softening. “That sounds pretty magical.”
“Maybe I’ll turn you back into a believer.”
“Maybe.” But the smile was still sad, as if she was thinking of him again.
“You know if I ever see him, I’m going to kill him, right?” The words fell from his mouth completely uncensored.
“Let me have the first swing.”
Hell no. She wasn’t going anywhere near him. “Come on. Let me help you get back to bed.” He tried to lift her, but she pressed her hands to his chest.
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
She glanced at his bare chest and swallowed before snatching her hands back. “I need to shower and brush my teeth…try to feel semi-human again.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone while you’re sick.”
“I’ll be okay.”
But would he ?
She started to push up from the floor, and he gripped her upper arms to help her. The second they were both on their feet, they stood far too close. Her warm breath brushed against his bare chest, and every inhale almost had them touching.
Like his hand had a mind of its own, it cupped her cheek. “Call out if you need anything.”
Was it him, or did she lean her face into his palm?
“I will.”
He swallowed, and it took far too much willpower to drop his hand. To turn and step away from her.
He’d just reached the door when she called to him.
“Jesse.”
One deep inhale and he turned. “Yeah.”
“Thank you. Not just for tonight. Thank you for being my friend when I really needed one.”
“I will be whatever you need me to be, for as long as you need.” Even if it killed him.