Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24
“ S hould I be nervous? Because I’m kind of nervous.” Butterflies-in-the-stomach, clammy-hands kind of nervous.
Aspen was well aware that her level of nervousness was unwarranted. She’d met Jesse’s mother before. She’d met his siblings too. But this was different. This was dinner in his mother’s home. A meal with the entire family, where she needed to slot herself into their dynamic and not embarrass herself.
Jesse reached over and set a hand on her thigh as he drove. “Why are you nervous?”
“What if I say something wrong? Or try to use humor as a way to distract them from my complete awkwardness and I’m not funny? My humor never drops well when I’m nervous. Think strange-looks-and-cricket-silence kind of doesn’t drop well.”
“I think you’re overthinking this.”
“Am I? Or am I thinking about this the perfect amount because it’s important that I make a good impression? If I make a joke, I want it to be funny.”
He pulled up in front of a single-story ranch-style house. A truck was parked in front of them, and a small red convertible sat in the driveway.
Jesse turned to her. “You already made a good impression on my family when you met them. And your jokes are always funny.”
“Not true. The other day I told you that I might kill off some characters in the book I’m writing and then added that it would spice up my autobiography, and you didn’t even crack a smile.”
And again now, not even a hint of a smile.
“If anyone’s going to kill someone, it’s me. You’re to stay well away from dangerous situations.”
She rolled her eyes as they climbed out, then grabbed the rhubarb pie from the back seat. She’d attempted to make a peach cobbler, but it was a disaster…think burnt crust and over-sweetened filling kind of disaster.
Luckily, Mrs. Gerald saved the day.
“What if they’re disappointed that I didn’t make the pie?”
Jesse slipped an arm around her waist. “They won’t be. But you could always lie to them and tell them you did.”
“Um, bad idea. My lying is as bad as my line dancing.” Not that she’d done much line dancing in her life. “What if—”
“Aspen.” They stopped at the door and Jesse cupped her cheeks. “You could knock the entire pot roast onto the floor, give everyone food poisoning with the pie, and they still won’t hate you. They will love you.”
She swallowed, her gaze shifting to the door, then back to Jesse. “I’m sorry, it’s just…my mother’s love always felt…conditional. Conditional to me being a certain way and her being in a certain mood. To me making her feel a certain way.”
His eyes darkened, empathy and maybe a bit of anger skittering across his face. “We’re not here to earn anyone’s love. It’s just a family dinner. And even if we were…you won’t get that here. You are safe to be you in this family.”
Safe…the word felt big and important. “Thank you.”
He lowered his head and kissed her. The kiss was calming, when calm was the last thing she’d felt all day.
He lifted his head. “Ready?”
No . “Yes.”
He took her hand, opened the door, and led them into an open living-and-kitchen area. His mother stood by the stove, while Clara and Becket seemed to be arguing about something by the fridge.
They all looked up, smiles spreading across their faces.
“Jesse, Aspen, you made it.” His mother wiped her hands on a dish towel before moving around the island and tugging Jesse into a hug. When she pulled Aspen into an embrace, it was big and firm and warm, nothing like the hugs she’d received from her own mother over the years…not that they’d hugged that often.
“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Hayes.”
The older woman stepped back. “Oh please, call me Pam. Anything else makes me feel old. And you are more than welcome.”
“What is that divine-looking dessert in your hands?” Clara asked as her mother returned to the kitchen.
“Rhubarb pie from The Tea House.” Aspen set the pie onto the island. “It’s amazing.”
“It looks delicious,” Clara said, eyeing the dish. “I’ve been wanting to stop in there for a while. The desserts always look so good from the window.”
“Well, she’s actually having a big reopening celebration soon. I was just making fliers today. She’ll have free samples of everything.”
“This food-loving lady will be there,” Becket said, bumping Clara’s side with his hip.
Clara whacked his shoulder playfully. “Says the guy who once ate an entire plate of chocolate chip cookies when he was eight.”
“And they were delicious.”
Clara rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of a smile on her lips.
“It’s true,” Jesse confirmed. “There had to have been at least two dozen cookies on that plate and he wiped it clean.”
“I took it as a compliment,” Pam added, eyes warm as she looked at her kids.
“We have way too many stories similar to that one,” Clara added.
Becket shook his head at Aspen. “Don’t believe anything they say. They struggle with accurate accounts of the past.”
Jesse scoffed. “One of us struggles and I’m looking at him.”
“Do you see how they pick on me, Aspen?” Becket joked.
Aspen laughed. She’d always wanted a sibling. How lucky they were to have grown up with one another.
Pam watched her kids with affection. It looked like she knew exactly how lucky her family was.
“Can I help with anything?” Aspen asked.
Pam’s brows rose. “Well, I would love someone to set the table.”
“I can do that.” She frowned at the pink roses centering the table.
Jesse gently bumped her hip. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just…they’re pretty…the pink roses.”
“They’re Mom’s favorite,” Clara said. “We alternate who sends her a bunch each month.”
“Because I have wonderful children.” Pam beamed.
Those flowers on that receipt…they had been for his mother.
“What are you thinking about?” Jesse asked.
She grinned at him. “Just how much I like you.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“All right, I’ve had enough of you guys, I’m going back to the grill,” Becket said as he moved to the back door.
Jesse looked at Aspen. “Are you okay if I…”
“Go.”
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Be back soon.”
She was still watching Jesse as he stepped onto the deck when Clara sighed. “You make him happy. I like that.”
She turned back to Jesse’s sister. “No. He makes me happy.”
Pam handed her some plates with cutlery on top. “Thank you, Aspen.” But before she could turn, Pam touched her wrist. “Thank you for coming. Not just here tonight, but to Amber Ridge. I haven’t seen Jesse smile like this in a long time.”
Her heart gave a little kick. “He has the same effect on me.”
Pam smiled softly.
When Aspen was done setting the table, she turned to see Clara frowning as she sipped a glass of wine. “I think Mom gave you one too many. There are only five of us.”
Pam shook her head. “No, darling, Holden’s coming.”
Clara choked on the liquid before spinning toward her mother. “Holden’s coming?”
At that exact moment, the front door opened and Holden stepped in, a wide smile on his face. “Hey, everyone. I was going to knock but—”
Pam shook her head as she rounded the island. “You don’t need to knock. You’re family.” She pulled him into her arms. “It’s so good to see you!”
Holden hugged her back. “You too, Pam.”
When they separated, he moved over to Aspen and kissed her cheek. “It’s good to see you again so soon.”
“Same.”
Holden turned to Clara.
Aspen frowned, noticing Jesse’s sister was standing ramrod straight. And she almost looked…nervous?
“Hey, Clara,” Holden said, his tone lower as he stepped toward her. He embraced her, and when he pulled back, Clara’s mouth opened and closed a few times before she spoke.
“Hi. When…um, when did you get here?”
Aspen’s lips twitched. She was nervous.
“A few days ago.” He cocked his head. “I missed you.”
“You missed me?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. It’s been too long.”
“I missed you too.” She frowned. “As a friend,” she quickly added. “A brother, even.”
This time, Holden frowned. “A brother?”
“Well, kind of. I guess. But you aren’t my brother. You’re Holden. My brother’s best friend. Very different. Not as different as a parent or a grandparent, but different.”
Aspen grinned. She was rambling and making no sense—and it was definitely because she liked him.
Holden’s smile widened. “Thanks for the clarification.”
Pam cleared her throat. “The boys are outside.”
Holden nodded but didn’t take his gaze from Clara. “I’ll join them.”
The second he stepped outside, Clara dropped her face into her hands and groaned. “It’s official…I’m an embarrassment to myself. One big, gigantic puffer fish of embarrassment.” She lifted her head. “Not as different as a parent or a grandparent? What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing. You’re perfect,” Pam said as she walked past her daughter back to the kitchen.
Clara rolled her eyes. “You have to say that, you’re my mother.”
Aspen shook her head. “Not true. My mother has never said that to me. In fact, I could count the number of times she’s complimented me on one hand.”
Clara’s eyes widened.
Shit, why had she gone and said that?
Pam almost looked sad. “I’m sorry to hear that, honey. But in this house, you get lots of compliments. It’s the rules.”
Aspen’s heart squeezed. “I think I’m going to like this house.”
“It’s how we suck you in so you never leave,” Clara said with a laugh.
“Shit, you guys are cute together.”
Jesse leaned against the deck railing, beer in hand. “Thanks. Haven’t been referred to as cute before, but I do know I’m a lucky bastard to have her.”
A bit of the smile slipped from Becket’s face. “The way you look at her…it reminds me of the way Dad looked at Mom.”
That was a compliment if ever he’d heard one. His parents had loved each other. Like really loved each other, right up until the day their father had died. “It’s the kind of relationship most dream of.”
“I don’t think you need to dream.”
Even though Becket joked a lot, he had another side that he reserved for family and those closest to him. A side that took life more seriously than he often let on. “I think you’re right. What about you? Any love in your future?”
Becket laughed as he turned back to the grill. A full belly laugh, like it was the funniest question he’d ever heard. “No love happening here. In fact, I am so far on the other side of love that I think the woman I see most often might murder me in my sleep.”
“What have you done now?”
“Nothing. My neighbor’s the one doing stuff. I was just getting home from work the other day and she exploded on me for the new cameras I installed on the side of my house. You should have heard the things she called me. I actually laughed when she used the word ‘ogre,’ and she looked like she wanted to stab me.”
“Dammit, Beck, I’m going to get a call for a neighbor dispute, aren’t I?”
“You absolutely will. And on that day, I want you to remember sibling loyalty.” Becket flipped the chicken leg. “You can also be witness to how insane she gets. It’s kind of cute. Her cheeks get red and her chest puffs up. It’s like she forgets she’s five foot nothing.”
Oh, Jesus . “Beck—”
The back door opened, and Holden stepped out. “Hey. Room for one more?”
“Holden!” Becket pulled him into a hug. “It’s good to see you, man.”
“You too.” When they parted, Holden eyed the grill. “Smells good.”
“Pot roast wasn’t enough,” Becket said. “Mom decided we needed chicken as well. I heard you’re living here now.”
“I sure am. Just got a place.”
“Damn, that’s pretty official.”
Holden lifted a shoulder. “Well, I tried moving back to Minnesota when the team was honorably discharged, but I can’t be there. That’s my past. So I thought, what the hell, this town has all my favorite people, I’ll try here.”
“Pretty good decision if you ask me,” Jesse said.
Becket dipped his head. “Me too.”
The small smile slipped from Holden’s mouth. “Plus, an extra set of eyes around town can’t hurt while this asshole ex of Aspen’s is around.”
Becket turned to Jesse, all humor gone from his face. “Still no word on his whereabouts?”
“No.” His fingers tightened around his beer. “He was staying with her mother, but he’s left now.”
“What the fuck?” Holden cursed.
“Yeah, my thought too.”
“We’ll find him,” Becket said, voice low. Every so often, the deadly former SEAL became obvious in his brother. This was one of those moments.
“I know we will. I just worry about what will come before that.”
Over the last few days, a pit had formed in his gut, like his body knew something was coming. And that something felt dark and dangerous and made him want to chain Aspen to his side.
He turned to Holden. “I need a change of subject. Tell me about your new place.”
They remained outside, chatting until the chicken was cooked. Over the meal, his family talked and laughed, and Aspen slotted right in as if she’d always been there. And it felt so damn good. And it felt right.
When he and Aspen finally climbed back into his truck, he’d just turned it on when she turned, touching his thigh. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Sharing your family with me.”
Another reason to love his family. They put that radiant fucking smile on her face.
He leaned over and touched a gentle kiss to her forehead before whispering, “Everything that’s mine is yours.”
When he lifted his head, it was to see tears in her eyes.
“Can I tell you a secret?” she asked quietly.
“Anything.”
“I think you’re healing all the damaged parts of me.”
His heart gave a huge fucking thump. “No one should have hurt you, Aspen. You deserved better. And I will spend the rest of my life giving you better.”
She tugged his head down and kissed him. A deep kiss. One where her tongue slipped between his lips and tangled with his. A kiss that weaved itself around his heart.