Unbreak Me (Fate’s Choice #3)

DAY

What happened completely overwhelmed me—I didn’t know what was going on. I felt like I was spinning on a carousel.

Jan’s behavior initially left me unsure whether to be angry with him or fall in love with him. Many omegas might see it as audacity, an attempt to meddle in their lives, but Jan did something crazy courageous—something I secretly yearned to do myself: attack the bastard!

And then, just a few hours later, two million dollars appeared in my account.

Could I really be mad at him for having the determination I lacked?

I’d spent my whole life trying to show initiative. My omega dad drilled that into me—he was determined I’d be independent and strong. His own life was proof of why it was necessary; his husband was a useless drunk. So Dad kept repeating that I should never relax, never depend on anyone, and earn as much money as I possibly could.

After Nico left me, my dad sat me down and said, "See? That’s what happens when you rely on an alpha. Omegas are better off without them. These scumbags always leave."

He didn’t bring up the fact that his own dad—my granddad—left my grandfather for his High Mate and divided the family.

Feeling pressured, I made a series of tough decisions, all aimed at securing financial stability for myself and my parents—starting with surrogacy. But almost every single one only brought me more stress, pain, and disappointment. I was exhausted from thinking for others, paying my parents' bills, helping my brothers, and supporting authors whose books I published for free. I felt like I was dragging a gigantic weight behind me, with no one to share the burden.

Just for a moment—I needed a holiday, a vacation, and… someone competent who would lift the weight of a lonely existence full of never-ending struggles.

And then there was the other thing—the supportive, loving part.

I so wanted someone to hold me and say, "Everything will be okay. You don’t have to fight so hard anymore. I love you. I got you."

My dad hated it. He wouldn’t even let me say I missed Nico. "You’re stronger without him!" he yelled when he saw me feeling down.

I quoted John Donne back at him, "No man is an island." We’re not meant to be alone. We’re strongest when we work together. But Dad didn’t understand me, he only got angry.

Now, lying in Jan’s arms, all these chaotic thoughts were running through my head. I had two choices: keep fighting, stressing out, and trying to control everything in my life—or maybe just accept that I wasn’t cut out for that. I wasn’t the ‘Type A’ personality my dad wanted me to be. I wasn’t a perfect businessman, and the high-achieving life only brought me stress.

I took a deep breath and told myself: It’s okay not to always be in control. It’s okay to just be myself—a shy homebody. That doesn’t make me a loser; it’s just me, and I’m… still good enough!

Clenching my eyelids shut, I whispered the words, pushing them out as if I were giving birth. It was so damn hard.

"I really value your help, Jan. I appreciate what you did with Ferguson. It feels like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders."

Wow. It felt so good to say that. And guess what? The world didn’t end.

Jan shifted slightly, his hand brushing a strand of hair away from my cheek.

"Some crimes just can’t be left unpunished," he said softly. "I refuse to accept that nothing can be done."

I sighed. "I’ve known that since the day Ferguson walked out of my room and left me there, and my world fell apart. I carried that wound; it was eating me alive. I smoked more, ate less—punishing myself without even realizing it. I’m glad Fate put you in my life because you brought exactly the kind of different energy I needed to move on. Thank you."

Jan kissed the top of my head.

For long minutes, we lay like that. Slowly, my thoughts drifted back to what had happened on this bed half an hour ago.

Somehow, I felt that if there was anyone in the world with whom I could rediscover feeling safe during physical intimacy, it was Jan.

When he hovered over me, his lips on my body, I was still a little stressed and unsure, but my body surprised me—it reacted to Jan so eagerly, as if it didn’t even remember my past trauma. And maybe it didn’t. Maybe it just missed the pleasure?

His calmness, mixed with a touch of shyness, was the perfect combination for me.

I didn’t realize when I fell asleep, but for the first time in a long time, I felt so light. And maybe even… happy?

◆◆◆

When I woke up, it was well past 5 pm. I was lying on Jan's bed, covered with a blanket, and… Milky's butt was pressed against my cheek.

However, Jan was nowhere to be found, and it made me strangely uneasy. That was such a new feeling for me—missing someone else’s presence.

Milky was kind enough to get off me and I slid out of bed, realizing I wasn’t wearing pants. They were neatly folded on the chair next to the bed. Smiling to myself, I picked them up and headed to the shower. After refreshing myself, I went downstairs and found Jan bustling around the kitchen, preparing dinner.

Max and Buddy hovered by their bowls, patiently waiting for their dinner portions.

Once again, Jan greeted me with that wide smile of his. Even though the past few days hadn’t been easy, he still radiated positive energy. Something about him created a shift in me. Unexpectedly, I found myself smiling back at him, probably in a way I never had before—grinning like crazy!

He blinked, clearly surprised, so I quickly explained, "Not that the circumstances of all this are particularly joyful, but knowing I have more money in my account than I’ve had in two years definitely lifts my mood. And I owe that to you."

He immediately walked over, hugged me, and kissed my forehead.

"I’m glad you’re focusing on the positives. There’ll probably be some bumps along the way—we should be ready for that—but it’s good that at least this part worked out, right?"

I nodded and looked up at his face. We were standing close now, perfectly positioned for a kiss. I held him by the waist while his hands rested on my shoulders, our faces just inches apart.

There was a brief silence, and I saw the hesitation in his eyes. For a moment, his gaze dropped to my lips before meeting mine again. My heart started racing. The last person I’d kissed was Nico. Now, suddenly, I wanted Jan to be the next.

Shyly, I smiled and glanced at his full lips—lips many omegas would envy.

This was the moment, and he read my consent flawlessly, leaning in slowly.

At first, it was just the surface of our lips touching—soft and gentle—but the sensation was unexpectedly pleasant. I hadn’t thought I’d ever feel this kind of joy and excitement from simply kissing. Jan’s lips were so tender, and as I parted mine slightly, our tongues brushed in a sensual, delicate rhythm.

For a moment, it felt like I’d stepped into a different world, one without worries. The only things that existed were warm arms and a sense of safety—something I hadn’t felt in twelve years. Was it coming back to stay?

Jan pulled back slightly and murmured, "Dinner’s gonna get cold, Day."

Smirking, I sat at the table.

Something had changed between us—that much was clear. There was a subtle intimacy in the air, sending shy pulses of happiness, like colorful bubbles rolling through my nervous system. For the first time in so long, I allowed myself to feel it freely, after years of being frozen and bitter.

Jan placed a plate of salad and a few pieces of spicy chicken in front of me, then served himself and sat next to me. As we started eating, he unexpectedly reached out his left hand and took mine, which rested next to the plate.

For the last two weeks, there had been numerous moments when I’d desperately wanted to touch his hand. His gesture was quick and natural, and suddenly I chuckled, surprised at how easy it was to simply reach for what I wanted. Jan had shown me the way.

"When you smile, Day, your whole face changes. It’s like you’re a completely different person."

"Because I am," I replied.

Then I stopped, noticing a small box on the shelf under the window—a gift from Jan that I’d so unkindly rejected earlier.

I got up, and Jan looked at me in surprise as I went to the cupboard and picked up the box.

Returning to the table, I asked, "Does the offer of this bracelet as a gift still stand?"

"Of course, Day. I bought it for you."

I opened the box and took out the bracelet. It was delicate, with gray agates that shimmered softly. Slowly, I put it on my wrist. I had to admit—Jan had chosen well. It suited my appearance and, maybe even, my personality.

For a moment, we both just looked at it.

"Thank you, Jan. It’s really nice. I don’t usually wear jewelry every day, but there’ll still be perfect occasions for it."

Jan’s face lit up, but soon his expression changed to something more serious. I immediately knew what he was thinking. Strange—it was like I could feel it in my system.

Carefully, I took off my pendant and set it down on the table in front of me.

"Speaking of jewelry, I’ve probably given you mixed signals by saying I don’t wear any, but at the same time constantly walking around with this, right? Go ahead. Check it out for yourself."

Jan hesitated, but I encouraged him.

"Go on. You should see what it is."

He nodded slowly, then mindfully opened the locket.

A hologram activated, and eight tiny newborn faces appeared in a circle, hovering in the air above the pendant.

Jan exhaled sharply. "Children… the ones you gave birth to?"

"Yes. All the children I carried. The ones that were taken away from me."

Our eyes met, and Jan reached out again to take my hand.

"Day… Have you ever talked to anyone about this? A therapist? These were little lives you nurtured. Even if they weren’t biologically yours, it was your blood and breath that sustained them."

My lips trembled. "I didn’t. It felt… silly. How could I care? They weren’t mine. But—" I couldn’t finish; my throat suddenly constricted.

Jan knelt beside me, wrapping his arms around me.

He whispered softly, "Those feelings are still valid, Day. You buried them, thinking they were silly, but they’re real. And they have the power to hurt."

And just like that, with those words, he opened up a safe space for me to freely express what I was feeling.

I could finally say it out loud!

"They took them all away…" I choked on the words as tears unexpectedly started to stream down my cheeks. I felt like I've been crying a lot lately, but I chose not to feel ashamed of it.

"Sometimes, I’d sneak into the newborn ward and just look at them. I took pictures, touched their tiny hands. They… they seemed to respond, opening their eyes as if they recognized me, opening their little mouths, searching for my milk."

Jan gently cupped my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. "I’m sure they did. They felt your presence and knew you hadn’t abandoned them."

I continued in a shaky voice, "I expressed milk for these babies for three months, for each of them. Every time I did, I thought about them drinking it, receiving what I produced… but they didn’t know who made it for them."

"But you gave these babies a gift; their bodies knew. They grew and thrived on your milk."

His fingers touched my face so gently it was soothing. I closed my eyes, letting him caress me softly, calming me down.

Though I had already told Jan about wanting kids, but I never told him how powerful the feeling was.

It was my deepest wish. My dream.

So, I needed to emphasize it; I needed him to hear me.

"I want to hold one in my arms again, Jan. So much. My own! I want to be a dad!"

I opened my eyes to see his expression, and our gazes locked. His golden irises glowed with warmth.

"I know it, Day. And I’d love that too. We’ll try for a baby during your first heat here. Okay?"

A loud, desperate exhale tore from my lungs. It felt like another burden had lifted from my shoulders. Jan was on board!

Spontaneously, I put my hands on his glands, instinctively touching them, making small strokes over.

"I’ll… I’ll stop smoking, Jan! I want to be healthy for the baby," I blurted out, feeling a surge of powerful emotions—hope and optimism among them.

Jan smiled gently, his hands still cradling my face. "I trust you. You’ve got so much experience, and I know you’ll take good care of yourself and the baby."

"I will! I’ll never smoke again. I only did it because of the stress—I had so much of it…"

"I can imagine. But now, I’ll do everything I can to take that burden off you. You deserve to relax and feel at peace. Just focus on fulfilling your dream."

I opened my mouth to respond, but a sudden knock at the door made Jan flinch slightly.

With a furrowed brow, he stood up and headed to the door. The lack of his touch, his hands on my face, felt wrong. I missed it the moment he stepped back.

Before opening the door, Jan peeked through the small glass pane near the top to see who was standing on the front porch. It was Uncle Frank.

Even though I hadn’t warmed up to him initially, he’d turned out to be a lot more decent than I first thought.

Though, he kinda shortened our emotional moment here, so I wasn’t exactly thrilled to see him. I would’ve preferred Jan back at my side, gently touching me, continuing to thaw my soul.

"Hey, hey, how’s it going?" he called from the doorway.

Max and Buddy jumped happily around him as he stepped inside, shook hands with Jan, and then walked toward me.

Thankfully, he only offered his hand for a shake—no awkward bear hugs, which I wasn’t ready for with strangers.

His eyes lingered on my face for a moment. I must’ve looked a bit swollen from crying.

"How are you feeling?"

"I’m good, thanks…" I said quickly, avoiding his gaze as I went back to my seat.

Frank glanced at Jan. "So, any updates on that thing we talked about?"

Jan sighed and rolled his eyes just enough for me to catch it.

"Yeah, you could say things moved along," he said. "I sent some emails with the footage attached, and a few hours later—Day’s account got a nice little deposit."

Frank’s eyes flicked to me. "Jan didn’t share the details, Day, and I didn’t pry. He just mentioned there was something important on that footage that needed to be secured. I made sure the file was accessed quietly."

"Thank you," I said with a small smile. "I really appreciate your help."

Jan jumped in. "Actually, Uncle, I’ve been meaning to ask—how did you even get your hands on that disk in the first place? Was it safe?"

Frank chuckled. "Oh, it wasn’t some covert operation, if that’s what you’re thinking. A couple of years ago, during some server room expansion, a batch of backup disks got shuffled over to IT. They were supposed to wipe them, but things got chaotic, and one of the guards stashed the extras in the IT closet. They just forgot about them! A small miracle, really."

Jan raised an eyebrow. "Could it come back to bite you or the office?"

Frank waved it off. "Nah, nothing to worry about. Most of the footage was from public areas—hallways, entrances, that kind of thing. Heck, some of those cameras stream live on the city website anyway. No sensitive info there."

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

"That’s a relief," Jan muttered. "But, for example, if a recording of you checking the disk ever needed wiping, you remember Archer’s a hacker—he could handle it."

Frank laughed. "Ah, yes. Good old Archer. But no need. There aren’t any cameras in the IT department. Honestly, it’s like the universe lined everything up for this moment. That disk sat there for years, just waiting for someone to find it."

"Fate works in mysterious ways," Jan muttered, shaking his head with a half-smile.

Then his hand found its way to my back, resting there as if he were silently claiming me in front of his uncle, and it felt… good.

Frank noticed it, his eyes twinkling a little as he sat down at the table. "I see you’re finishing dinner! I hope you won’t turn down an old man’s request for a bite," he said with a mischievous grin.

Jan rolled his eyes again, but soon enough, the three of us were eating together.

Strangely, it felt good—cheerful even—despite the sensitive matter we’d just discussed. Being part of this family, a new family, was… different. A welcome shift from the energy of my old life.

That evening, we all sat on the terrace, enjoying the gentle night breeze. Our conversation stayed light and easy, avoiding heavy topics.

We chatted about the farm, Uncle Frank’s long-ago love life, and stories about Jan’s brothers. It was a calm, serene moment, and I found myself savoring the simplicity of it all as the starry sky stretched endlessly above us.

"You know, I once wanted to be an astronomer," Frank said suddenly, breaking the silence of the night.

"Really?" Jan asked, glancing at him over the rim of his teacup, filled with red Rooibos tea. "I didn’t know that."

Frank gave a small shrug, his expression pensive. "Yeah. My father wasn’t thrilled about the idea, though. He always said betas had to aim for high-earning, practical careers. Hobbies were fine—but not for making a living."

His words hung in the air for a moment before he pointed upward. "Do you see it? That’s the Cygnus constellation."

"Cygnus… doesn’t it mean ‘swan’ in Latin?" Jan asked, leaning back slightly to follow Frank’s gesture.

His uncle nodded. "It does. In mythology, it’s connected to several different legendary swans."

"I love swans." Jan’s gaze was drifting across the sky. "At first, they’re gray and unremarkable, but they grow into something so beautiful and graceful." He paused, as if caught in a thought.

"They mate for life, don’t they?" I asked, as I too traced the twinkling outlines of constellations with my eyes.

"Yeah, they do," Jan said softly, his voice having a tender note. For a brief moment, his eyes met mine, and something unspoken passed between us.

The silence that followed was comfortable, like a warm blanket wrapping around all of us.

We sat there, our heads tilted upward, lost in the infinite expanse of stars.

Then I felt Jan’s hand slip into mine, his fingers intertwining with a gentle squeeze.

In that moment, everything just felt right. No big confessions—just this quiet happiness in my chest, simple and easy. I smiled to myself, holding onto that feeling as tight as I held his hand.