Under the Texas Sky

CHAPTER 57

KIAN

The car drops me off, and I knock on Trent’s door. Waiting patiently for him to open up while I shift the bag of stuff on my arm, I feel the plastic handle cutting off circulation. God, I hope he doesn’t think this idea is cheesy, but it was the best thing I could come up with. I didn’t want to take him on any basic date. I wanted something that would give us the privacy to talk, and for us to be able to enjoy ourselves without the watchful eyes of other people.

He opens the door, and I stand there staring like an idiot. He’s hot. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Handsome. Tempting.

The dark gray henley stretches tight over the cords of muscles I can see bulging underneath the material. His light jeans are tight on his thick thighs, and heck, if I look hard enough at his crotch I can see the outline of his dick. My mouth waters thinking about having his cock in my mouth, how it would stretch me wide, hitting the back of my throat until–

“Are you ready?” Trent asks me, and I try to inconspicuously rub the side of my mouth to check for drool. There’s nothing, thank god. That would be freaking embarrassing.

“Yeah! Yeah, for sure. I’m totally ready.” I have to stop myself from slapping myself on the forehead, knocking the sense back into my brain since I’ve seemed to have lost all of it.

“Okay, what’s the plan?” he asks, turning and locking the door behind him.

“Can I drive?” It would be more convenient for me, so it can be more of a surprise. But if he doesn’t want me to drive his truck, I don’t blame him. The shiny piece of expensive metal in his driveway slightly scares me, but it’s fine. I’ve driven before. Multiple times. It doesn’t matter if it’s been since before I moved to Arizona, that’s just a small detail. I didn’t need a car in Arizona. Everywhere I needed to go, Willow went with me. There was no point in saddling myself down with a car payment.

“Sure,” he says, shrugging.

I extend my hand for him to put the key in it, but he just cocks his eyebrow.

“Can I have the keys?”

He fishes the key out of his pocket and drops it in my hand. I stare at it for a moment.

“Uhm–” There’s no key. Am I this out of touch with reality? There’s no freaking way. I think of Willow’s car, and I know for sure she has a key. She inserts it, and cranks it over. I’ve seen her do it hundreds of times since she drives us everywhere.

“It’s the newest model, they’re touch to start now. You only need the fob inside the truck to start it.”

My eyes widen as I turn my head to gauge his reaction. Is he joking? “Maybe you should drive.”

I hand the key back to him, but he grabs my hand and tugs me to the driver’s side of his truck. If I thought it looked expensive before, now it looks intimidatingly so. I’m going to wreck this thing if I get behind the wheel.

He opens the door for me, gesturing for me to get in. My limbs tremble as I climb into the driver’s seat with as much grace as I can manage. I quickly toss the bag in the backseat, hoping that nothing spilled on his expensive leather.

“You see that button?” He points out the button on the dash that says Start/Stop. “Hold your foot on the brake and press the button. It’ll start up like a normal vehicle, you just don’t have to crank a key in it.”

I press my foot against the pedal, exactly how he said. Waiting patiently to get my nerves under control. It’s fine, so what if I haven’t driven a car in this long? It’s like riding a bike, you never forget.

Except a bike is very different from a two ton death machine.

Trent leans across me, and the scent of his cologne fills my nostrils and gives a shot of straight dopamine to my brain. He presses the button for me, and the engine rumbles to life.

“See, easy.” He smirks, the slight upturn in his lips so hot I want to kiss it off.

“So easy.” I breathe deeply and get myself situated while he climbs in the passenger seat. “Buckle up,” I remark while he fiddles with his phone.

A love song starts streaming across the radio, and he sets his phone in the center console while he buckles up.

The name of the playlist flashes across the screen, and my heart lodges in my throat. It’s the same playlist we used to listen to while we cooked, or cleaned, or worked on a puzzle together.

“Where are we going?” he asks, while I turn my head and rest my hand on the headrest behind him so I can look out of the back window.

“It’s a surprise,” I say, trying to keep my attention on the road, and not letting my eyes drift to him no matter how tempting it is.

“Hm,” he mumbles, eyes on me.

I successfully back out of his driveway, then shift to drive. Thank god that hasn’t changed. We would probably end up in a ditch by the time I figured out which way to shift a stick.

The cab of his truck is filled with music while I drive us down the familiar turns. The sun starts to set, filling the sky with an array of colors. The deep blues and purple streaked with fading yellows and reds as the day shift to night. Trent’s attention is focused on the landscape out of his window, and I wish I had my camera so I could snap this moment and keep it forever.

“Can I say something before we get to wherever you’re taking us?” His deep voice cuts across the truck and instantly puts me on edge.

“Of course, you can always say anything you want.” I risk a peek at him in my peripheral, and his eyes are still facing the dimming sunlight.

“I want honesty, I want the truth. No matter what. That’s a deal breaker for me now.” His tone is dead serious, and I gulp against the nausea building in my throat.

“I can do that, I can be honest.” Can I though? In layman terms, it should be easy. But thinking you can do something and actually doing it are two very different things.

“I’m serious, Ki. I need to know that whatever comes out of your mouth tonight, no matter what it is, that it’s the truth.”

I pull into the park, pulling off the dirt road to the path that leads to the clearing, where I followed him to that day after school. How different our lives look now compared to back then.

I park the truck, pressing the stop button to turn it off. Easy as pie. Unbuckling, and turning in my seat, I face Trent head on. Looking into his brown eyes, I admit my first truth of the night.

“I’m scared,” I practically whimper, my heart pounding and my fingers trembling. I bite my bottom lip to keep it from wobbling pathetically.

“I am too. I’m so scared, Ki. But I need to know that I gave this my all, gave you my all, before I will ever be able to heal.” Trent leans his head back against the passenger window with a soft thud.

“So we’re both scared, huh?” I try to make light of the situation, but it falls flat. I try another tactic, being honest, like he needs. “I still want you in my life, but it might take some… time to get us back to the way we used to be.”

“I don’t want us to be the way we used to be.”

My heart drops, but just as quickly, Trent finishes his thought.

“I want us to be together, but I want to be the man I know I can be for you. It’s taken a lot of time, and a lot of therapy, but that’s how I can sit here in front of you and tell you how I feel.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat, knowing that he still wants me, even after everything we’ve been through. Can I be that man for him? He doesn't deserve the fluctuating emotions that I seem to have. I need to be sure that this is something I can do, for him and for us.

He doesn’t wait for me to reply to his declaration, instead he gets out of the truck and rounds to my door. When he opens it for me, I’m hit with a sudden wind chill, and I’m rethinking all my plans.

“The park where you told me I was beautiful,” Trent says. “Classic.”

I smile at the memory. It was so awkward, but it worked out in the end for the most part. “I thought we could have a picnic, but it’s a little colder than I realized. I hope you don’t mind if I steal all your body heat.”

His smile is beautiful, with the slight gap in between his teeth that I love so much. “I have an extra blanket under the backseat. I’ll grab it.”

When Trent holds his hand out to me, I grab it, holding it close to my chest. He fetches the blanket, and also hands me the bag I packed.

I grab the blanket from him and tell him to give me a moment. Leaving him standing beside the truck, I work on placing the blanket and pillows I brought, making a small sitting area in the back of his truck. I pull out the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I prepared, and the fruit platter and battery operated tea lights that I grabbed from the store.

Walking back over to him, I tell him to turn around so I can wrap my hands around his face and cover his eyes. He’s a smidge taller than me, so guiding him to the bed of the pick up truck isn’t as easy as I would like. My dick rubs against his ass in his pants. The smooth satin of my underwear increases my pleasure, and I pull back while my insides feel like they’re on fire.

Nope. No. Bad dick. We have other things to do than get off.

“Surprise,” I whisper in his ear, feeling the brush of his hair against my mouth.

“Ki, you didn’t have to do all this,” he says. His wide smile says differently though, and I love being responsible for that smile. I think of all the times that he went out of his way to do nice things for me, and I realize why he always did it. Not because he wanted recognition for doing nice things, but because he loved making me happy. Just like I love making him happy. I will do this every day for the rest of our lives if we give this a chance.

We sit on the tailgate, making small talk over our sandwiches and the bite sized fruit. It’s nice, it’s just like old times. Conversations about what TV shows we like to watch now, new music we’ve found, random drama we’ve overheard. It feels like two friends catching up, instead of two lovers who have been forced apart by the universe.

Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something now, maybe that this is how it should be. Easy. Not toxic. No fighting or arguments over minute things. We’ve both grown up over the two years we’ve been apart.

“I’m shocked you like working with Adam. He seems like the exact person you used to butt heads with,” I remark, taking a bite of a juicy strawberry. I feel the juice trickle down my chin, and Trent wipes his thumb across it to clean it up, then pops the same digit in his mouth.

“He’s my best friend, but don’t get me wrong, we butt heads all the time. Especially when it comes to life outside of work.”

I roll my eyes.

“I saw that,” Trent remarks, mock glaring at me.

“Sorry,” I mutter petulantly. Staring down at the strawberry stem I have clutched between my fingers. I want to pop some other morsel of food in my mouth to keep from having to talk anymore about Adam, but all that's left is crumbs.

“Truth?” he asks, staring deep into my eyes like he’s trying to read my soul.

“Adam doesn’t like me,” I admit, sheepishly. My insecurities flare when the thought hits me. What if this won’t work out between me and Trent now because his best friend doesn’t approve? I’ve never had to worry about that before, but now it’s the only thought pinging in my mind.

“What are you talking about? Why do you think he doesn’t like you?” Trent asks, astonished, and a little skeptical.

“He told me to stay away from you.” I watch a squirrel scale a tree and climb to the highest branch. How they aren’t scared of falling is beyond me.

“He said what?” Trent grits out, and when I lift my eyes to his, his are hardened into a glare.

“He told me you weren’t a toy,” I mumble under my breath, looking away again, embarrassment flooding my face. I know Trent's not a toy, but admitting it outloud puts my flaws on display. Telling him how his friend can quickly pick me apart and berate me for things he only had one-sided knowledge for isn't going to bode well for my win Trent back plan .

Trent’s fingers find the underside of my chin, and he lifts my face up to meet his eyes. “Whatever he said, forget it. He is a grump, but he does it because he cares. He doesn’t know that I would do anything to be with you again. No matter how many times my heart gets broken, I’ll keep putting it on the line for a chance to have anything with you.”

Tears burn my eyes, and I want to openly sob and let him hold me and comfort me. I want him to never let me go.

“I won’t hurt you, I promise. I won’t hurt you again,” I swear, as I cross my fingers across my heart in a promise.

“I know you won’t, Ki. But there’s a lot we need to talk about.”

My smile is watery, but I nod anyway, because there is a lot we still have to talk about. I respect him enough to give him the time to tell me on his own terms.

"It's getting late..." I hedge, not wanting to ruin this good night with depressing conversation.

“Do you want to come over tomorrow? I can make us dinner, and we can sit in my living room and talk more?” Trent asks me.

Tonight has been perfect and exactly the lighthearted date we needed before we dive into the deep stuff. This gave him the chance to run away, and he’s not. He’s choosing me, he’s choosing to stay.

“Yes,” I answer excitedly.

My phone chooses that exact moment to ding.

What the heck?

I pull it out, and my face pales as I stare at the notification.

Trent notices, because of course he does. “What’s wrong?” His concern is palpable.

Truth.

Honesty.

“It’s… it’s my OnlyFans… I had a special request come in.” My face is bright red, and I can’t look Trent in the eyes when I say this. But that was the agreement when we sat down for this date. The truth, no matter how awkward, ugly, or bad it is. I can’t tell if I’m more embarrassed that he knows I have an OnlyFans or that now he knows I make custom content.

“Do you need to go?” he asks me, reaching across the space in between us to take my hand in his. The feel of his rough and calloused hands against my smooth skin, speaks to the time between us.

I have to hold back my gasp from the train derailment my mind takes.

No, bad Kian. Bad Kian’s dick. We’re not rushing into sex with Trent. We need to go slow and take our time.

I shake my head and put my phone back facedown on the pillow beside me, ignoring the next ding that comes through. I know who it is. It’s the person who requested the content, messaging me to make sure I got it.

Dang it.

“You can answer it, I don’t mind,” Trent offers, the saint that he is.

This is supposed to be our date. Our time together where we hash out our issues and figure out how to fix them. Not me abandoning him to go film content.

“Are you sure?” I hedge, because if he’s not comfortable with me doing sex work, I don’t know how this thing between us will go. I make a majority of my money from modeling, but OnlyFans supplies me with my nest egg. It’s the one thing that keeps me sane in knowing that even if everything went to shit tomorrow, I would still be able to live a stable life.

“Of course. I don’t care that you do OnlyFans.” His face flames the prettiest shade of pink, and the hint of stubble on his cheeks makes for a delectable picture of hotness.

“Truth?” he asks, the one word raising my hackles.

I nod, feeling a bead of sweat roll down my neck. It’s cold as hell in the bed of the pick up, with only the blankets and our own body heat to keep us warm. The perspiration is from nervousness.

“I’m a subscriber to your OnlyFans,” he rushes out in a low tone.

My eyes bulge out of my head, and I open and close my mouth a few times looking for the right words.

The idea of Trent watching me shouldn’t turn me on. It shouldn’t. But my dick is thickening in my pants. Thank god I had the foresight to tuck it into my waistband, or I’m sure it would be tenting the thin material. The thin material that is currently constricting it from living its best life in the open. Well, not the open. Preferably in my hand while Trent fucks me. Or in his ass while I fuck him. My dick isn’t prejudiced, not when it comes to Trent.

“I know, it’s weird,” he rushes out quickly in my stunned silence. “I’m sorry, but I followed you on Instagram, and then you were constantly posting about it. I had to see you, even if it was through a screen. I needed anything I could get. I was so desperate.”

Oh. My. God. The tip of my dick is slick with precum, and I feel the material against the skin getting moist. I’m going to come in my pants if he keeps talking.

“No–” I clear my throat, hoping he can’t hear the tremor of lust in it. “No, it’s okay. I’m… glad you’re subscribing. Did you see anything you liked?”

This is a dangerous road that we should not be going down. Not until we talk. Not after everything we’ve been through, but that message is not making it to my dick, who is keyed up and waiting impatiently.

“I liked… watching you. Hearing your moans and watching while you fucked yourself on those dildos. You were sex personified. So hot. I wanted you so badly after I watched. It was a tease watching you and knowing I could never have you.” His eyes are glassy and his pupils are blown. It looks like he took a hit of a drug, but it’s just his reaction to being turned on. I’m sure if I looked in a mirror, I would look the exact same way.

“Would you… like to watch me now?” I ask.

His inhale is sharp while I wait with bated breath to see what he says. The wind whistles through the trees and blows my hair into my face. The strands tickle my skin, and Trent scoots over to me until our noses are close enough to brush. He tucks the messy strands behind my ears, keeping his eyes on mine.

“I would love to watch you.”

I close my eyes in anticipation of his kiss, waiting for the press of his lips against my own. Instead, he presses his lips against my forehead and leans back. I slowly open my eyes, feeling drowsy on the lust coursing through my veins.

“Let’s go, Freckles.”

The ride back to his house is filled with thick tension, and the playlist coming through his speakers is sensual and slow. Inside his house, he leads me to a room. It doesn’t have any personal belongings. Only a bed with a wooden frame and a nightstand. It’s very… empty.

“This is my guest bedroom, but feel free to move things around how you need to make it more”–he waves his hand around in a circle–“pleasing to look at. For your video.”

I check the space, and it’ll be easy enough to shift the nightstand to the edge of the bed to give the best angle.

Well, here we go.