Undying Thirst (Crimson Coven #2)

8. Tobias

EIGHT

tobias

I exited the front door within moments. As much distance as I could put between myself and the delectable human, the better. I paced into the narrow pathway of the garden until I reached the patch of cement surrounded by rose bushes framing a stone bench to the edge. I slowed and laced my fingers behind my back. The stiff undulation in my chest forced me to inhale. My chest expanded, and I exhaled with an audible sigh.

Vampires did not need to breathe often. Only extraneous exertion . . . or emotions caused the vexing urge.

I’d almost given into her scent and destroyed my efforts to keep my distance. I had touched her, and she had not reacted as she used to.

She was no longer pliable and sweet against me. She stiffened with distrust.

I abhorred it.

Madness. Everything she caused within me was pure madness. Wanting a human.

Urges to not only worship her body, but to fuck her hard, ravaged against my insides. Like some sinful beast.

Even still, I wanted to gather her to me and sink myself deep inside her.

I reached into my slack’s pocket and plucked out a tin canister.

I’d taken to popping these orange candies in an effort to distract myself. Food offered no substance, but these bitter orange sweets managed to distract me from the memory of her luscious long hair. Hair I wanted to yank as I?—

I groaned. These thoughts would never leave me unless she was at a distance, but even at that point, I did not believe I could leave her.

We were self-centered, egotistical vampires. We could have done so much good to the world. Yet, we could not be bothered. Even I struggled with the concept of caring. Because I did not feel it.

There was some truth to Jaxon’s claims on humans. Their selfishness, their cravings for materialistic possessions. Unrest that continued to plague current society. Astounding how things can change so much, yet remain the same.

All of those desires were emphasized within creatures of the night, yet emotions came with such difficulty. But once a vampire’s loyalty is given, it cannot be dissuaded. Staying away from Catalina was imperative for that reason.

Asher had already reached that point. He never gave himself to Imogen, so all that fixation he’d been incapable of accessing narrowed in on the human girl.

He’d thought and called her ‘?lskade’ too much, leading me to discover the truth. He viewed her as his beloved. A vampire mate in essence. But that was not possible. Humans could not be a vampire’s mate.

And she could not become one of us. Asher’s surety in himself never craving another was what caused his downfall.

Ren was morbidly fascinated with the human’s taste as much as the rest of us. I didn’t think he would falter. He didn’t have the capacity to care about others more than himself.

Bastien and Imogen argued the most, leading to Jaxon and him exchanging blows.

I would keep my distance to avoid becoming just as besotted as Asher.

Jaxon would never claim to believe Catalina was his beloved because everything in him belonged to the memory of Imogen, his female. The only male in this Coven that had given everything of himself.

That did not mean the others did not have loyalty, but the surface-level loyalty stemmed from self-interest.

My sister was no saint. Young, impulsive, and often cruel. She never thought her actions through, leaving me to pick up after her much too often. My ability to contain her was how I ended like this, an eternal vampire.

Many centuries ago, she’d arrived at the parish I served, her face coated in blood.

I’d prayed over what I believed was the demonic entity, all while she laughed.

I will offer you a gift . Her words of that night invaded my thoughts. There is no God, dear brother, but I will make you invincible .

In the face of my rejection, she sank her teeth into me and began the process of turning me into a vampire.

When I woke up, I no longer cared. I had the veiled memories of fear in the distant past, but they slipped away from my grasp when I tried to grab onto them. That is how it was with all emotions. Morality did not come easily to us, which was why I had taken to reading novels exploring the complexities of the human psyche. Reading human minds allowed me to understand the origin and the description of the emotions. This was how I recognized the danger Catalina posed. Yet, I could not bring myself to rid the Coven of her.

When I met her—no—when she saved me and sweetly offered her blood, an internal shift, a deadly craving, had bloomed. One that may be my downfall. One that would be undying.

I tired of keeping my distance. The tenuous strands of control frayed. How much longer could I contain myself?