31. Chapter 31
thirty-one
Four days to the wedding
The sun was barely a sliver on the horizon when Rowan poured coffee into a travel mug the next morning. She’d been wide awake since before five, as if her body knew she needed to gear herself for an earlier day soon. Instead of burrowing herself into Chris’ warmth next to her, she’d rolled out of bed.
Rowan had to prepare mentally for life without Chris. She’d been relying on him too much. When he was gone, she only had herself to rely on.
Why am I so twisted up over losing a practical stranger?
Except the stranger seemed to understand her more than her boyfriend for five years.
“Good morning,” a soft greeting jolted Rowan from her meandering thoughts. She turned and found her half-sister, Rae, standing by the swinging kitchen door.
“Good morning,” Rowan replied. “What are you doing awake so early? Is the room not comfortable?”
“The room is beautiful. I slept like a baby.” Rae chuckled, then added, “Whoever came up with that idiom is an idiot.”
She walked to Rowan. “I can’t seem to sleep in anymore since I have a child.”
“Would you like some tea?” Rowan asked, her innkeeper mode kicking in .
“Coffee, please. I can enjoy one cup of coffee a day, and I look forward to it every freaking morning.”
Rowan grinned at Rae and was about to get her a mug, but then asked, “I was about to walk to the water. Would you like to join me?”
Rae nodded with a smile. “That’ll be nice.”
Rowan got another travel mug and poured her some coffee.
“Give me a lot of room for cream, please,” Rae asked.
“That’s where you and I differ.” Rowan handed Rae the mug and got her the cream and sugar.
Rowan watched Rae doctor her coffee until it was almost beige with an astonished look, but she chuckled when Rae took a long sip and sighed with ecstasy. “That’s heaven. Excellent coffee.”
“Roasted locally,” Rowan said as they exited the kitchen. “Chris Sullens approved.”
“Did he? He would know.” Rae chuckled. “Where is he, by the way? I noticed I’m the only one upstairs.”
Rowan’s brain spun for an answer that didn’t involve telling Rae her friend was in her bed. “He’s probably still asleep, like most people. On this side of the property, anyway. Kieran and his early crew are already preparing for the day.”
Rowan opened the door, and the morning chill hit them.
“Ooh, that’ll wake you up faster than coffee,” Rae commented as she zipped up her sweatshirt.
“You grew up in Minnesota, right?” Rowan asked as she led Rae down the steps and across the vast lawn. “You must be used to chilly mornings.”
Rae’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Great. Remind her about her shitty childhood, will you?
“I’ve lived in the South long enough now that my blood has thinned out,” Rae said.
“I’m sorry,” Rowan quickly said. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t be silly,” Rae replied. “Let’s address the white elephant right here, right now, Rowan. Neither you nor Kieran were to blame for my childhood. I might’ve been angry at our father for leaving my mother and me. I might’ve blamed him for my mother’s depression. But at some point I asked myself what does being angry do except rob me of more chance of happiness?”
“I just wish I’d known sooner,” Rowan said. “If Dad had told us— ”
“But he didn’t.” Rae shrugged, regrets heavy on her face. “I stopped wishing and started accepting what I couldn’t change. That was how I moved on with my life.
“He made his choices. I don’t know if he had any good choices, you know. If he’d chosen to stay with us, you and Kieran would be in my place,” Rae continued. “He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don’t know what I would do if I were him.”
“I don’t think you’d put yourself in that situation in the first place,” Rowan stated. “I know I wouldn’t.”
Rae nodded. “Maybe you’re right.”
They walked in silence until they reached the large boulder where Rowan liked to sit and watch nature waking up on the island. The surf was rougher this morning as waves hit the rocky beach. But the repetitive sound, combined with the call of a solitary loon somewhere in the distance, was soothing.
“You didn’t grow up here, did you?” Rae asked.
“No. Dad did,” Rowan answered. “We lived outside of Freeport.”
“Right. I think I knew that.” Rae nodded.
Rowan studied Rae’s facial expression. Though her words had been forgiving, Rowan could see she still felt some residual pain.
“I don’t think I’ve told you I’m sorry for your loss, Rowan,” Rae said, surprising Rowan yet again.
“It’s your loss, too,” Rowan said.
“I lost him decades ago. I’ve had years of learning to live without him. Your grief is still quite fresh, and I’m sorry for it,” Rae said gently.
It had been nine months since her father passed in her arms, but after hearing Rae’s words, it felt like she’d just lost him yesterday. Tears instantly filled her eyes, and Rowan looked up at the sky, trying to stop them from spilling out. It was ridiculous how the smallest thought of Dad could turn her into a leaky faucet.
Rowan felt Rae’s hand cover hers on the rock and squeezed. “Let it out, Rowan. You don’t have to suppress your tears for me. He was a good father to you, wasn’t he?”
Reluctantly, Rowan nodded, not wanting to hurt Rae with her memories.
“Then remember him for that. Let nothing else ruin it, okay?” Rae smiled .
“But what he did to you—”
Rae shook her head. “No, don’t.”
“Did you really forgive him?”
“It took a long time, but I did. I had to. I didn’t want to keep that anger inside me anymore. It almost ruined my chance of happiness. So I let it go. You can forgive your dad for his imperfection, Rowan.”
“How do you do that?” Rowan gazed at Rae through a tear-blurred vision, baffled.
Rae looked thoughtful before she said, “Time makes it easier. Finding the silver lining in the unfortunate situation can help. I was afraid coming here would reopen an old wound. That’s why I agreed to have Chris come on my behalf. But now that I am here, I’m glad I came.
“I would never wish this loss on anyone, but in his death, our father finally put us together. And for that, I am grateful,” Rae finished.
Rowan took a deep breath and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.
“You’re right. That is something to be grateful for,” Rowan agreed. “And I didn’t expect this, but I think Kieran feels the same way.”
“You think so?”
“He won’t say it in so many words, but I can tell.”
“I had a pleasant day with him yesterday,” Rae said.
“See. Nobody would ever say that.” Rowan chuckled. “Maybe Frankie, but that’s because she’s in love with him.”
“Is she?” Rae’s eyes brightened. “I thought I got a vibe from her. What does Kieran feel?”
Rowan rolled her eyes. “Kieran is clueless. But I hope he realizes what’s in front of him before he loses her.”
“Maybe Frankie should initiate the first step,” Rae suggested.
“That’s up to her,” Rowan said.
“Maybe we can nudge Kieran to take the step if you think he has feelings for Frankie,” Rae suggested with a conspiring smile.
Rowan looked at Rae with a questioning look. “We?”
“My husband has an older brother and a younger sister. They both had a role in helping him realize he couldn’t live without me. I don’t know Kieran, but you seem to think he belongs with Frankie.” Rae continued, “Maybe I can help. I never had a brother and a sister before. ”
Rowan just stared at Rae, and Rae’s smile turned into a self-conscious lip-bite.
“Was that assuming too much?” Rae asked.
Rowan immediately shook her head. “No. Of course not.”
“Too fast?” Rae asked. “Sorry. Dean always says I tend to cannonball into something once I make up my mind.”
A corner of Rowan’s mouth rose in a half smile. “And what is it you’ve decided?”
“I had a lot of time to think last night. I could resent you for having our father for most of your lives, or I could try getting to know you as he intended, and perhaps we could be friends.”
“I think he intended us to finally be a family,” Rowan said. “His last words to me were to find you.”
Rowan squeezed Rae’s hand. “And here you are.”
Rae smiled. “Here we are.”
“Here, you take these.” Chris handed Rae a short stack of white sheets. He then grabbed the rest of the bulky bedding pile. “We’re halfway done up here. Bobbie’s team will deep clean and do the rest of the rooms in the cottages tomorrow.”
They had left Rowan working with the wedding team, including Jane and Walt. Jane had jumped into the decor and flower arrangement with Meera and Lily, while Walt charmed Rowan into sharing her clipboard with all her tasks with him. They collaborated like busy bees; Chris had felt comfortable leaving them to help Rae.
“I can carry more than this.” Rae pulled the blankets from the top of his pile. “You don’t have to baby me, Chris.”
“You shouldn’t be carrying too much.” He led them to Room 5.
“Did Dean tell you that?” She side-eyed him.
“No,” Chris defended himself. “I’m here to spare you this trip because your doctor advised you to take things easy.”
“My doctor has okayed me to resume regular activities. The last scan looked good.”
“It doesn’t hurt to not exert yourself too much. ”
“Carrying sheets and blankets is exerting myself now?” Rae laughed. “You’re worse than your friend.”
“How’s he doing at home with Maya alone?”
“He’s not alone. Grandma’s there,” Rae said. “They’re doing fine. Besides, Maya wants to spend all day in the pool, anyway. Like father, like daughter.”
“Soon you’re gonna have two under two. Are you and Dean ready for that?” Chris chuckled.
“Don’t remind me.” Rae heaved an exaggerated sigh.
“That'll put a damper on your traveling.”
“I’ve had many epic trips to fill a lifetime,” Rae said. “I just consider this phase of my life as a new adventure. I never knew I would love being a mom. Not after watching my mom. But having an involved partner and a great support system makes a difference, y’know.”
Chris did know. His father and mother had been like Dean and Rae—a unit. Together, they’d been a force to be reckoned with, both as leaders of a company and parents at home. His father hadn’t been the same since his mother had died, but Chris always remembered how they’d been as life partners.
“I never realized how domesticated you are,” Rae teased as they dropped their burden onto the sofa in the next room. “You set these beds better than I could ever do. They all look magazine perfect.”
The two of them started putting together the bed systematically, like they’d done with the first three.
“Rowan picked out all the bedding sets for each room. I’m just working with the materials she gave me,” Chris replied. “She has a vision. I think she nailed it.”
“I agree,” Rae said. “I think you’re enjoying this smaller inn business. You know, getting your hands on every detail.”
“You’re not wrong.” Chris fluffed up the pillows and gently placed them on the bed’s head. “I haven’t done this for the longest time, but I spent years working every job at The Sullens, including housekeeping.”
“Really?” Rae questioned, doubt lacing her voice.
“That’s how my dad learned to run the hotels from his parents. And that was how my dad taught me.”
Rae looked surprised. “I had the impression you don’t get along with your dad. ”
“We don’t see eye-to-eye as adults, but there was a time when I worshipped my dad like most sons do. Until he pushed me away.”
“Why did he push you away?”
“Our relationship has never been the same since my mother died.”
Rae came to him and touched his arm. “I’m sorry, Chris. Do you think you can mend that relationship? Didn’t you say you were going to the Cape to see him?”
“Yeah, but why should I bother? He's more concerned with me taking over The Sullens than us having a relationship.”
“You never know unless you talk,” Rae said. “Take my father. Now, I wish he’d reached out to me before he died. But I think he never did because after his last rejection—or what I perceived as rejection—I wrote him off from my life. Now, I’d never get a chance to tell him that I forgive him.”
Chris put his hand over Rae’s on his arm. “I’m sorry, Rae.”
She smiled. “Maybe putting Kieran, Rowan and me together now is his way of making amends.”
“They surprised you, didn’t they?” Chris asked. “The Kellys.”
“I didn’t quite know what to expect, really.” Rae laughed and moved to the sofa. “Actually, I expected Rowan to be this femme fatale digging her claws into you.”
Chris eyed Rae thoughtfully. “This whole faux engagement is messed up, but you know that is not what is going on between Rowan and me.”
“What is it then?” Rae’s eyes searched his face.
“I told you, Gibbes was ready to use my name to start a rumor about The Sullens buying out Bright Head. The entire island would’ve ganged up on the Kellys. You should’ve seen how he riled the townsfolk at the Chamber’s meeting last week.”
“I understand that’s how you got fake-engaged. But I gotta say that kiss you shared yesterday looked like more than a performance,” Rae said. “When did you start sleeping together?”
Chris’ gaze sharpened at Rae.
“I’m not blind, Chris. And neither is Kieran,” Rae pointed out.
“That isn’t any of your or Kieran’s business.”
Rae leaned back against the sofa and studied him with a bemused face. “Is that why you’re still here?”
“I stayed because I wanted to help,” Chris stated.
“What will happen when you leave? ”
“Rowan will be fine. She’s more than capable of making her vision for Bright Head happen, especially with you on board now.”
Rae shook her head patiently, as if she was talking to a child. “I meant, what will happen between you two when you leave?”
Chris took a beat before answering, “Again. None of your concern.”
His friend tilted her head while her eyes continued drilling into him, probing for more.
Chris relented and said, “She made it clear to me this is temporary.”
“Temporary?” Rae echoed the word.
Chris shrugged. It was the truth.
“So that’s all it is for you?” Her lips flattened into a line.
Chris straightened his spine and met her gaze directly. “Rae, I know you’ve just embraced Rowan as your sister, but it doesn’t give you the right to stick your nose in her personal business or mine.”
Rae didn’t flinch at his reprimand. “I know that.”
She got up, went to him, and rested a hand on his shoulder. “But I care about you both. I don’t want either of you hurt.”
“We’ll be fine, Rae.”
“If you say so. I remember saying something similar to myself when I should’ve talked to Dean about how I felt.”
“This is different,” Chris said.
“Is it, though?” Rae said with a smile before she left him with that thought.