35. Chapter 35
thirty-five
Chris stood away from the small crowd on the beach where the clam bake was taking place. Alex and her team took center stage as she directed cooking, serving, and entertaining the guests. Everybody looked like they were having a blast, enjoying seafood, corn, and potatoes steamed in a large pit on the beach.
The preparation for this old-fashioned New England tradition had taken all day. Chris remembered his parents throwing huge clam bake parties at their Cape Cod house. They’d been fancier, with ceramic plates, silverware, linen napkins, and flowing wine and champagne, but they’d kept the tradition of gathering stones and driftwood from the beach. Though the staff mostly had done the hard work, his mom had walked the beach with him to pick up a few stones, and they’d watched the digging of the pit.
Alex and her team had lined the pit they’d dug with rocks and built a fire to heat the stones. Then they’d gathered rockweed—a type of seaweed with sacks full of seawater—easily found on the shore and laid them on the sizzling hot rocks. Covered with burlap sacks, soaked with seawater, the salty steam from the rockweed cooked the clams, mussels, lobsters, and everything else they’d put in the pit.
Chris’ mouth watered as he inhaled the mix aroma of food and the fresh evening ocean air. But he simply watched with eagle eyes, making sure everyone’s needs were met. Amid her family, Rowan was laughing at whatever Meredith’s grandma had told her. She replied something, and the whole group joined in the laughter .
Kieran approached him with two bottles of beer. He offered one to Chris.
“Thanks, but I’m working.” Chris smiled at the other man.
“You’re a guest, man. Have a beer with me and grab a plate.”
“Maybe later, when everyone’s satisfactorily fed.”
“Suit yourself.” Kieran shrugged and stood with him, watching the party.
“Why aren’t you in there?” Chris asked.
“I need a break.”
The dramatic exhaustion in Kieran’s voice made Chris chuckle.
“I don’t know where both of my sisters got their disposition, but gatherings like this take the energy out of me,” Kieran said, watching Rae taking pictures of the cooking, the food, the staff, and the general party. She’d asked Meredith and Sam if she could take photos for the inn.
“There’s always one of you in a family,” Chris noted. “My best friend—Rae’s husband—is the quiet, mysterious one between two livelier siblings. He and Rae are different in so many ways, yet very similar at the same time. It’s mind-boggling. But they seem to work.”
“We want to introduce Rae to the family, but she said to wait until after the wedding,” Kieran said.
“I agree with her. It’s Meredith and Sam’s time.”
They stood there in silence for a few long beats, just watching. They’d also built a couple of bonfires for people to sit around. As the sun disappeared behind the trees, the fires burned brighter.
A slim man with closely cut light brown hair, wearing a maroon sweater and a pair of chinos, stood away from one of the bonfire circles. But when Rowan got up and walked to the drink tables, he trailed behind her.
“That’s Richard, Rowan’s boyfriend,” Kieran said, obviously noticing the man, too.
“Former boyfriend,” Chris corrected. Alex had given him a heads-up earlier.
“I’m glad she didn’t marry him.”
Chris glanced at Kieran. “You don’t like him?”
“I thought he was okay. But I don’t really know the guy. We don’t mesh,” Kieran said. “When things get tough, that's when people's true colors come out, y’know?“
Chris just nodded .
“When Dad died, Richard was barely at Rowan’s side. He was too busy securing his promotion that opened up due to Dad’s death. The three of them worked for the same company,” Kieran explained.
“He barely had time for her, but when Rowan broke up with him and moved here, he couldn’t leave her alone. He kept telling her she was throwing her life away. That he would take her back when she realized the inn was too big of a job for her,” Kieran continued.
Chris listened as he kept his eyes on the man they were discussing.
“When the hell is he gonna take the hint that my sister is too good for him?” Kieran said through clenched teeth.
“Are you sure your sister isn’t considering Richard’s appeal?” Chris asked. “Because she didn’t seem sure when I asked her about it yesterday.”
Richard shot him a look.
“Managing this place is a big job, Kieran,” Chris said honestly. “I have no doubt Rowan can do it, but she will need help. My professional advice is for her to hire a General Manager.
“A GM will allow her to have a life of her own—off island, if that’s what she wants. You have your farm and Rae can’t be full time, either, especially with another baby on the way. I wouldn’t blame Rowan if she’s considering going back to Freeport. She shouldn’t be running this place alone,” Chris finished.
“No, she shouldn’t,” Kieran said pointedly.
Chris met Kieran’s eyes and gave a short laugh. “I can’t keep doing this, Kieran. I have my own business to run.”
“Right.” Kieran nodded. “So you’re done after you had you two fun weeks with her, huh?”
Chris jaw tightened at the dig, but he kept his voice level. “Rowan doesn’t want me to continue sticking my nose in her business.”
“How would you know? Did you ask her?”
“She said two weeks, that’s it.”
“And if she asked you for more?”
Chris wasn’t sure how to answer. Funny how he was stumped by a similar what-if question he’d asked Rowan yesterday. If he was honest to himself, he didn’t know the answer to that question because he didn’t want to be disappointed when she didn’t ask .
From where he stood, Chris watched Richard tap Rowan on the shoulder. Rowan turned to him with a ready smile that faded slightly when she saw him. Or maybe Chris imagined it did.
“What are you guys standing here for?” Two girlfriends of Meredith who had arrived this afternoon suddenly emerged at Kieran’s and Chris’ sides.
They each looped an arm around Chris and Kieran and pulled them into the party. “The night is beautiful and young,” said one of them, whose name Chris believed was Carly.
The women obviously had had a little too much to drink. Kieran looked alarmed as Monique started dancing around him.
Chris, the hospitality guy, put his personal issue aside and focused on the guests. “Ladies, I’m glad you’re having a great time. Have you had any food yet?”
“Yes, it was delicious!” Carly exclaimed.
“Wonderful. I’ll make sure the chef knows you said that.”
“Let’s dance!” Monique told Kieran.
Expertly, Chris saved a frozen Kieran from Monique. “Why don’t we get you a bottle of water before we do that?”
Chris gestured to Kieran to run and get the water while Chris chatted the two women up. He sat them down so they wouldn’t stumble on the rocky beach. Kieran returned with a couple of water bottles and handed them to the women.
“Drink up,” Chris urged. “The night is young, but I’m sure you don’t want a headache in the morning, do you?”
“You’re cute,” Monique said, took a chug of water, and then looked up at Kieran. “You’re cuter. I love tall men.”
Kieran’s eyes went wide in panic, and Chris almost burst into a laugh. He wished Frankie was around to witness this. Then she might see just how clueless Kieran was regarding women. Even before Rowan hinted Frankie had feelings for her boss, Chris had sensed it the first time they’d met.
“You work here?” Carly, who was the less inebriated of the two, studied Chris.
“Something like that. I picked you up at the ferry service today,” Chris reminded her.
“Oh, yes. My, you clean up real nice,” she said.
Chris just smiled.
“So, is there a policy that prevents the staff from having fun with the guests?” she flirted.
Oh, boy.
“You look good, Rowan,” Richard said as his eyes roamed over her, making Rowan a touch uncomfortable.
How was it she’d hoped for years that he’d look at her with more appreciation, but when he did, it made her want to run the other way?
“Thanks, Richard. Meredith told me you were coming,” Rowan said politely. “How was the trip over?”
“It was all right. The ferry made me a little queasy, but I handled it.”
Rowan just nodded. The sea had been calm today.
“I like your hair that length,” Richard noted. “You used to keep it short.”
“Thanks.” Rowan changed the subject. “How’s work? You’re happy with the new position?”
“Like I told you, I could do my boss’s job with one eye closed, and now I have the job. There’s nothing to it.”
“It’s what you’ve always wanted.”
Richard just smiled. “So, how are you? This place is something else.”
Five years together, and it was the first time Richard had set foot on the island—after they’d broken up.
“You’re staying in town?” she asked.
He nodded. “I didn’t think you’d be comfortable with me staying here.”
At least Richard was self-aware, though why he thought it’d be appropriate for him to attend the wedding was beyond Rowan’s comprehension.
Rowan accepted her drink refill and thanked Gwen, who was handling the beverages tonight. She took a step to return to her cousins, but Richard blocked her path.
“Please, feel free to get yourself a drink, Richard,” she gestured to Gwen, then to where Alex was. “And there’s plenty of food.”
“Can I get you a plate?” he asked, hoping.
“I ate,” Rowan answered, surprised he’d offered to do something for her. He’d rarely done that toward the end of their relationship .
She stepped to the right to get around him, but he mirrored her movement.
“Rowan, we need to talk.” Richard looked at her with puppy eyes.
“I’m not sure we have anything to discuss.”
Rowan glanced past Richard’s shoulder to her cousins. Meredith was watching them, and she pleaded with her face for Richard, if Rowan read it right.
“Please. We have good memories, you and I, don’t we?” Richard said. “Can you spare me a few minutes? For memory’s sake?”
Rowan sighed. “Fine.”
Richard led her to a quieter area, but Rowan stopped when she felt they were far enough from the crowd but still visible from the party. Not that she felt unsafe with Richard, but she’d rather not be alone with him.
“What do you want, Richard?” Rowan couldn’t wait to get it over with.
“I miss you,” he started. “I’ve been so lonely since you left. I was so used to coming home and finding you there. Now, I come home to an empty house.”
When Rowan didn’t respond, he continued, “You must’ve missed me, too, Rowan. You can’t possibly be happy on this island. There’s nothing to do here. Come home. Whatever it is you need me to do, I’ll do it. Just tell me what it is.”
Rowan looked at the man standing before her. Richard wasn’t a bad guy. He was fit enough since he hit the gym for a run on the treadmill every other day. She recalled some girls at work giving her the stink-eye for dating him. And she’d been happy enough to have stayed with him for five years. Right?
When did it become not enough?
“I’ll do whatever it takes, Rowan,” Richard pleaded. “What do you say, baby?”
Rowan swallowed hard because she realized she’d known the answer to this question when Chris presented it to her yesterday. She held on to her wine instead of chugging it like she felt like doing. She straightened her spine and looked Richard in the eyes.
“Richard, we had our run,” Rowan started. “I’m not in the same place as you are anymore. ”
“I don’t understand. Come home to Freeport with me. You can hand this place to Kieran. You don’t need this place, Rowan.”
“Richard, you’re not listening.”
“I know your father’s death was traumatic for you. I’m sorry I wasn’t fully there when you needed me. But you must understand, I had to step up to the plate.”
Rowan blinked at Richard’s defense. His lack of presence during the first few months of Rowan’s grieving for her father wasn’t even what she meant. Had it played a part in her decision to end their relationship? Absolutely, but she’d already decided before that.
“But I’m in a better position now, Ro.” Richard reached for her hand, but Rowan pulled back.
“That’s great for you, Richard. But this is where I need to be,” Rowan said patiently.
“No, your place is with me. Don’t you remember all the talks we had? We have a vision. I’ll be the CEO by the time I turn forty-five. We’ll buy a bigger house in South Freeport. Get a dog, have two children—a boy and a girl, like you and Kieran—”
“That’s your vision. Not mine,” Rowan interrupted. “You should find yourself a woman who shares that dream. I’m not that person anymore.”
Richard's face was getting more and more frustrated, and Rowan wondered what he’d do. She looked past Richard to the party to see if anyone was watching them, though she doubted he would make a scene. He cared too much about how people perceived him. His vision of being a young CEO had always driven his actions. He still had ways to go, so Rowan was sure he wouldn’t jeopardize his chances by making a fool of himself for her.
“I’m sorry, Richard,” Rowan softened her voice, hoping to get out of this conversation without hurting him more. “You’ll find someone else more suited to you.”
Richard schooled his expression and found the dignified stance he’d practiced daily. He forced a smiled at her. “I have invested too many years with you, Rowan. I won’t throw it all away. If you want to stay here for now, I’m sure we can figure something out.”
Now it was Rowan’s turn to be frustrated. She needed to squash Richard’s hope once and for all. She was about to say something when he cut her off .
“Don’t say anything now. Why don’t you think about it? We’ll discuss this more tomorrow.” Richard turned away and left.
Rowan blew an exasperated breath. What delusion was Richard living in? It was always wonderful to hear someone wanted to be with her because he had invested too much time in her. Not love. Not he couldn’t live without her.
Fuck that.
This time, she did chug the wine down.
What she needed to stop Richard’s plea was an ironclad situation he couldn’t break. What she needed was Chris. One word about their “engagement” would solve this issue, and Richard would leave her alone. What was one more person she’d lie to?
Rowan scanned the crowd for Chris with guilt growing inside of her. The lie was getting out of hand, and she was getting sucked deeper and deeper. How was she going to get herself out of it? After what she’d told him last night, she now needed his help. Again.
There he is.
The nauseating feeling she felt in the pit of her stomach grew. Rowan swallowed bile as she watched Chris laughing with some girls who were clearly flirting with him. She remembered they were Meredith’s close friends from work—both single. She wasn’t surprised they’d be flirting with any of the young, available men. Many people use weddings as an opportunity to meet or hook up. But she wasn’t prepared to see Chris as their object. And it looked like he was enjoying the attention.
He isn’t really yours, Rowan.
Rowan loosened her tight grip on her glass and reined in her jealousy. She looked away, headed back to Gwen, and asked for a fresh glass of wine.