4. Chapter Four
Chapter Four
“The expectant mother should attempt to cultivate a constant support system, including family and friends, to allow a reprieve from the demands of the newborn.”
A Young Woman’s Guide to the Joy of Impending Motherhood
Dr. Francine Pascal Reid (1941)
I didn’t bother getting dressed to go upstairs. But apparently, I’d taken too long because my cat, Sebastian, eventually struggled off the bed to wait by the door leading to the kitchen on the second floor. He likes Coop’s breakfasts as much as I do, so to make both of us happy, I headed upstairs. The heavenly smell of coffee mixed with the unholy stench of burnt eggs assaulted me as I opened the door. The smell of the eggs could only mean Emma had again beaten Cooper into the kitchen.
It was a sweet gesture—Emma sneaking out of bed without waking Cooper in the hopes of preparing him breakfast in bed. But even sweet gestures have a downside when the person attempting them is as terrible a cook as Emma. I’m no Nigella Lawson myself, but poor Emma is truly horrible. Like being unable to boil water properly horrible. (FYI, she doesn’t understand that water boils quicker if you turn it on high and put a lid on the pot. It takes her about forty-five minutes to make pasta because she’s afraid to turn up the burner.) It’s a good thing Emma hooked up with a chef, or the poor thing would be forced to exist on takeout and salad from a bag. She’s so tiny, the girl needs a great many square meals under her belt, or she might fade away to nothing .
“Morning,” Cooper said from his position at the stove poaching eggs, which would soon be covered with his most delicious hollandaise sauce for eggs Benedict. I saw the handle of a frying pan already poking out of the sink and the remnants of brown, rubbery-looking egg bits still strewn over the counter.
J.B. was already sitting at the table, with his shirt buttoned but untucked. “Hey,” he said casually, just like he does every time we have breakfast together. But when I sat down, he gave me a ghost of a smile.
“Hi,” I said, unsure of where to look since all I could picture was the image of J.B. wearing only his red-striped boxer shorts and I could still feel his lips against mine. It might have been an enjoyable night, but it’s hard keeping secrets!
“How was the wedding?” Emma asked me as she poured coffee into my oversized Piglet mug. I turned to her gratefully. I always thought she looked like an elf. She’s very cute with her pixie haircut, doe-like brown eyes, and sweet little heart-shaped face. All she’s missing are the pointed ears.
Getting up for breakfast when Emma is over (which is more often than not these days) not only means Cooper will cook, but Emma will play waitress. It’s definitely worth waking up for. It’s like going for brunch in your jammies and not having to brush your teeth.
“Horrible.” It was worth admitting to Emma what happened with Mike so I could stop trying not to look at J.B. I gave Emma a brief recap of the wedding and the discovery of the cheating, and she gave the perfect reaction of disbelief and sympathy. She also put a plate of food in front of me. Nobody makes eggs Benedict like Cooper. He and J.B. are planning to open their own restaurant in January, and I’ve told them countless times their place should just do brunch. The hours would be better as well. Sebastian was rubbing himself into a frenzied state weaving around my ankles, waiting for me to share breakfast with him. I didn’t think he was going to get much this morning.
“Yeah, but you weren’t really into him,” Coop commented from his position at the stove when I finished telling my sad tale of the wedding.
I often wondered why I never tried crushing on Cooper. Coop is madly in love with Emma, so it’s really a moot point, but he’s pretty cute. And his shaved head is the perfect shape for baldness. I’ve been trying to get him to have laser eye surgery forever because his glasses hide the most amazing pair of grey eyes, which are by far his best feature. The grayish-brown soul patch under his chin, however, is his worst. I keep hoping Emma will shave it off one night when he’s sleeping .
“That doesn’t mean I want him to get off with someone right in front of me!” I protested with a mouthful of eggs. “This is so good,” I added.
“I still don’t know why you bothered with him,” Coop grumbled. “I never thought he was good enough for you.”
I guess the main reason Cooper has managed to stay in the just-friends mode is that he looks out for me, sort of protects me, just like an older brother would. And the way he teases me is just as annoying. But it’s nice. He’s three years older than me, but I don’t have an older brother and Cooper lost his little sister to cancer when he was a teenager, so when we met, we sort of clicked into those roles. It was like we both realized we were missing something.
“Definitely not good enough if you found him going down on another chick in the church,” J.B. commented. “There are much better places to hook up.” He glanced at me, his meaning clear, and I could feel myself blush. J.B. and I definitely do not have a brother-sister relationship, unless you’re into icky Flowers in the Attic weirdness.
“You’ve got to stop it with those guys,” Coop instructed, pointing a finger like a disapproving teacher and oblivious to what was going on with J.B. and me. “Can I remind you about some of the more memorable ones? You’ve had to change your number because of one guy and take out a restraining order because of another. There were a couple who cheated on you, one got arrested, and one got into an accident with you. Need I go on?”
“It’s only because we care.” Emma smiled sympathetically as she refilled my cup with coffee. “We don’t want you to get hurt.” She looked pointedly at J.B., which made me think she was aware of everything that went on last night. She may be young, but she’s a smart girl.
J.B. snorted. “No, we’re sick of you being stupid.”
“Thanks.” I made a face at him. And there went my image of J.B. clad only in his boxers and any postcoital glow I might have had left.
“Well, I think it’s definitely a good thing you gave Mike the boot.” Emma gave me another smile, showing all of her pearly white teeth straightened by years of orthodontics. “I hope you’re okay?” I nodded, because my mouth was still stuffed with food. “Any new guys on the horizon?” she asked fearfully from beside the stove, where she was holding a plate for Cooper, giving J.B. another glance.
“Nope,” I said firmly. “I think it’s time to take a pass on men for a while. No dating. No boyfriends. No more dating even if he’s fantastic. I’m just going to concentrate on having a baby. ”
“What? What baby?” J.B. asked in a strangled voice. There were no winks and nudges this time. “I thought you said you didn’t, you’re not—you’re pregnant?”
“No,” I told him patiently, thinking he was really not getting this through his thick skull. “There is no possible way I am pregnant right now. Nor have I recently done anything to get pregnant,” I said firmly, hoping J.B. didn’t let anything slip. “There is no possible way I can be pregnant.”
“There’s always a possibility,” Cooper pointed out. J.B. looked like he was ready to pass out, and I couldn’t help but stifle a giggle. My birth control pills plus a condom meant J.B. was pretty safe, but obviously he was still scared. I guess talking about having a baby the morning after you sleep with someone isn’t the nicest thing to do. Maybe I shouldn’t have kicked him out so quickly.
“Not right now. I’ve wanted a baby for how long, and I’ve never once had an oops. Or an almost oops. Or I-think-it-might-be-an-oops-but-really-just-a-false-alarm.”
“But you’re having a baby?” J.B. was still goggling over this announcement and seemed to have completely lost interest in the food left on his plate.
“I want to,” I told him. “I told you that—I’ve told everybody that. I think it’s a good time to have one, but no, I am not pregnant at this time. I’m fairly positive about this, so…” Don’t stress yourself out about it, was what I wanted to say, but obviously didn’t. Darn Cooper and his not wanting to create tension in the house, or whatever his reason was behind not wanting J.B. and me together.
“But you say no dating, so how…?” Cooper wondered.
“I was thinking anonymous donor insemination,” I announced.
Dead silence met my words this time. J.B. was the first one to find his voice.
“Anonymous what?”
“Really?” Emma asked curiously. “Like at a sperm bank? I know someone who did that.”
“Casey, you can’t be serious?” Coop asked. “C’mon. There’s got to be another way.”
“Tell me how,” I challenged. “Right now that’s the only way I see it happening. It may not be my first choice, but unless I have an eager and fertile man drop into my lap with his biological clock already ringing, then…” I shrugged. “You feel like filling a Dixie cup for me?” I had to laugh at the expression on Cooper’s face .
“Uh, no, thanks. Really, no.”
“Don’t even think about asking me,” J.B. warned. I noticed he still didn’t look very happy about the direction the conversation had headed. I’d wait until later to explain how I came about my decision and tell him he had nothing to do with it.
“Are you sure there’s no ex-boyfriend who might be willing…” Emma’s question was drowned out by Cooper and J.B. laughing.
“Don’t even go there,” Cooper said.
“See? If I want a baby, what other choice do I have?” I looked to each of them to see if one had a great idea popping into their head.
“Sorry,” J.B. said rudely. “Have to say it—don’t have a baby. Seems pretty easy to me.”
“Unlike some, I happen to believe a baby is a good thing. Probably the best thing that could happen to me. The idea of not being a mother has never been an option,” I told him earnestly. “And I don’t want to wait for someone. I’m not getting any younger. If I have to wait around for the right guy, then who knows how long it will take? I came up with this idea, and it seems pretty good to me.”
“But isn’t there anyone you could use?” Emma wondered. “A friend, an ex-boyfriend… your brother-in-law? Any good man who would help you out?”
The name David Mason immediately popped into my mind, but I hadn’t seen him in years. I met David my first year at university, and we were together four years. While David was the best relationship I’d ever had, hanging the hopes of having a baby on a man I broke up with twelve years ago is too desperate even for me.
“I went through the list early this morning after I had this brain wave,” I told Emma instead, “and there’s no one I would feel comfortable enough asking. I mean it’s one thing to ask for some—you know—but then basically to tell him to get out of my life so I can do it alone? I’d probably end up losing a friend that way.”
“And you really want to do it alone?” Cooper asked skeptically.
“Well, no, but what choice do I have? Sure, I’d like the whole fairy tale, but at this point, I really doubt that’s going to happen. I’m thirty-five now. Even if I met the right guy tomorrow, I might still be looking at waiting a few years. I don’t have time to wait. And this is what I want—a baby. It’s what I want to do with my life, and so I’m going to go ahead with it.” There was a sudden silence as I scraped the last of the eggs off my plate. “I don’t expect any of you to get it,” I finished .
“I get it,” Emma told me wistfully. A little too wistfully for your average twenty-six-year-old, but before I could mention how she sounded, Coop came to stand beside her.
“Of course, we’re here for you,” he said firmly. “And we understand why you feel you need to do this.”
“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Emma said, sounding herself again. “You would make a terrific mother, and you’ve wanted it for as long as I’ve known you.”
“I’ve known her a lot longer, and lemme tell you, she never shuts up about it,” J. B. grumbled. “Are you sure this isn’t like one of your other hobbies?” His smile widened. “Like the knitting thing?”
“That was knitting,” I told him scornfully.
“Then what was rock climbing?” Cooper put in with a laugh. The teasing older brother was back. And when both of them get on my back… “Or making your own wine? The basement stank like rotten grapes for weeks. And didn’t you want to go back to school and get some degree in Russian history at one point?”
“My favourite was cardio-striptease,” J.B. laughed. “You honestly wanted Coop to put in a pole for you!”
“They were hobbies,” I told them as sternly as I could, despite J.B. practically rolling on the floor, no doubt picturing my attempt at pole dancing. “I was trying to better myself, exercise my mind and my body. And meet people,” I added. Meet men was what I didn’t say. I had some success with the rock climbing. Of course, there were no men in the cardio-striptease class, but I did improve my flexibility and my upper body strength during my little sojourn. “I know having a baby is much more serious than that.”
“Might be more fun if it was more like the stripper stuff,” J.B. muttered.
“And that’s why I would never ask you to be the father,” I told him snidely. “What do you think?” I asked Cooper. Despite his continual teasing, frequent lecturing, and prying into my personal life, Cooper’s opinion mattered a great deal to me.
“Doesn’t matter what we say,” Cooper shrugged. “If it’s important to you, then it’s important to us. We’ll deal with it.”