Unfettered Vessel (Found & Freed: The Unfettered #6)

6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

Pink

O h lord, my body is still trembling and spasming. My mind is still stunned by the thousand fireworks that just exploded inside my head.

What the hell was that? That wasn’t sex. I have had sex countless times, with very many different people. Thanks to my magic, I’m no stranger to orgasms either.

But nothing has ever, ever felt like that. The pleasure was so intense it feels like it has ripped all my layers away. I’m lying here in Monty’s bed, exposed and raw. Vulnerable.

It wasn’t just my body that orgasmed. It was my soul and my mind. Every part of me was scattered and has been rearranged.

“Pink?”

I open my eyes and try to remember how to focus. Monty swims into view, standing next to the bed, hovering over me. And holding out a glass of water.

Oops. I don’t think that was the first time he said my name.

Quickly, I sit up and take the offered drink. The movement causes things to seep between my legs. Damnit! Clenching as hard as I can, I can only hope for the best. I really don’t want to make a mess of his sheets. Even though it would be mess of his own making. My own mess is all over the front of my tee shirt that I should have removed. I really don’t know what I was thinking when I decided to keep it on.

I gulp down the cold water. Monty takes the empty glass from my fingers and carries it over to the tiny sink. I seize the opportunity to jump up and fumble into my sweatpants. My clenching really wasn’t working all that well.

Now I’m dressed, it is only my own, easily washed clothes that are going to get dirty. I should be relieved. More settled and at ease. But I still feel undone. All unraveled. As if I am standing here holding the tattered parts of myself in my hands with no idea how to put them all back together.

“Tea?” asks Monty brightly.

He has thrown on some pale gray yoga pants, but his chest is still bare. A naked expanse of creamy skin and lightly defined muscles.

“Is everything alright, Pink?” His blue eyes are full of concern now.

He fucked me, took my magic, rocked my world and blew my mind. And now he is worried about me. I came apart beneath him. The pleasure he gave me tore down all of my walls. And now I am standing here, all flustered and unsure, while his cum leaks out of my ass.

“Everything is fine,” I say.

His bright blue eyes are intense. I swear they can see all of me. All my flaws and every bad thought I have ever had.

“So, would you like some tea?” he asks carefully.

I blink. I don’t want tea. I want to be alone. There are far too many thoughts in my head and far too many emotions in my heart. Everything is a noisy, tangled mess. I need peace and quiet. Solitude. Time to try to untangle everything and make sense of it.

“Um…no thank you,” I mumble.

My gaze desperately scans the floor for my shoes. I find them by the door. I hurry over and hop into them. Then I yank the campervan door open. Fresh air and daylight hits me. Dazzling me even more.

I’m halfway across the garden before I realize I didn’t say goodbye. How rude of me. But it can’t be helped now. I think Monty is kind enough to understand that it wasn’t intentional. He just pulled me apart and peered into my soul. I’m sure he understands all of my intentions. Probably better than I do.

I shudder and wrap my arms around myself as I hurry into the house and up the stairs. Is this why Jade and the others felt shame in the harem? Sex stripped them raw? It wasn’t just a cock poking around inside them?

Oh lord. That is terrible. This is terrible. I don’t want to feel like this. Being numb to it all, is much, much better. Far more bearable. I want to go back to it.

I just have to find a way.

T he sun is beating down on me, heating up my very bones. This is lovely. I should have been born a cat. Though, lying here on a sun lounger by the pool is nearly as good as being a pampered feline. Right now, I certainly feel as if I don’t have a care in the world. My eyes are closed, my mind is blessedly still. The only things that exist are the heat of the sun and the gentle sloshing of the water in the pool.

Summer is very nearly over. This could well be the last nice day for a while. So I am going to lap it up. Enjoy and savor every last second of it.

Blue is somewhere at the bottom of the pool. I can’t hear him, and even if I opened my eyes, I probably wouldn’t be able to see him. Nevertheless, I know he is there, and it feels gently companionable. I hope the siren is feeling the same. It would be lovely if he surfaced for a little chat, but I don’t mind if he doesn’t. Talking is still hard for him after so long masked.

A lazy coil of anger stirs in my gut. The harem stole the voice of a siren. A clear example of Ritchie’s cruelty. I’m glad the twisted bastard is dead. I’m proud I kicked him in the nuts, causing him to shoot me in the head and turn me into a useless hostage.

I shiver, and it takes me a moment to realize it is not from memories. The sun has gone. Someone is here and I know who it is. His magic blazes. My eyes snap open.

Sure enough, Monty is standing in front of me with bags of groceries in his hands and blocking the sun with his body. Casting me into shadow.

“Hello,” he says with a tentative smile.

My heart flutters and my stomach twists. Monty is so damn handsome. But I can sense magic that once belonged to me weaving through his aura. It is disorientating. The mage that emptied me in the harem never stuck around. By the time I needed him again, my essence had long faded from his ether.

This is disconcerting. Mostly, I suspect, because it is a stark reminder of our intimacy. I can literally sense the results of giving my body to him. He was inside me. My magic is now inside him. We are connected. Hopefully not bound.

But it means being in Monty’s presence is confronting me with things I have been desperately trying not to think about. I spent hours in my room trying to untangle how I felt, before giving up on the task because it was too overwhelming. The more I contemplated things, the more things emerged from my psyche. It all threatened to turn into a bottomless pit of angst and unresolved issues. It was all far too much. So I shoved it back down.

Now Monty is here and all my trauma is stirring again. He was nice to me. Caring and gentle. Handed me the reins in the bedroom. Gave me the most intense orgasm of my life. Showed me what sex should be like.

All wonderful things. But I’m not ready for wonderful things. I’m not ready for anything. I don’t want to feel anything at all. I am craving peace and calm. The blank nothing of still waters.

“Pink?” A slight frown is marring Monty’s perfect features.

Oh crap. I haven’t answered him. He said hello and I’ve just been staring at him.

“Hi!” I squeak out.

Monty’s brows furrow. “Everything alright?”

Oh gosh, his care and concern is going to be the death of me. It is everything I never realized was absent from my life. My friends are nice to me, but Monty isn’t a platonic friend. I don’t see him that way at all, and apparently that makes all the difference.

Some part of me sees Monty as potentially being far, far more than a friend. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and the implications are terrifying. Devastating. I couldn’t cope with a broken heart. It would break me in ways the harem never could.

Icy cold fear floods my veins. My heart starts to beat to this new rhythm. It gives me strength, of sorts.

I lick my lips. “I’m sorry, Monty, but the terms of our agreement state that we are to have contact only as and when necessary.”

The brightness of Monty’s blue eyes fades. He nods. “Of course. I understand. I apologize for my oversight. It won’t happen again.”

Another nod and now he is turning around. I watch as he strides away. Across the lawn towards his campervan.

I swallow dryly. Why do I feel like I’ve just made the worst mistake of my life?