11. Chapter 11
Chapter eleven
Monty
I ’m staring at my phone like an obsessed person. What have I done? My arrangement with Pink is very clear. Contact only as and when necessary.
So why the hell have I sent him a text? He hasn’t revoked his clear boundary. His emotional wobble does not give me the right. This foolish feeling that things have shifted between us, is quite likely all my imagination.
Oh Goddess. What have I done? Should I apologize profusely right now and retract my message? Or wait in the blind hope that he might say yes?
Suddenly, my phone buzzes in my hand. I nearly leap into the air.
It is a message. From Pink. He has replied.
I stare at the screen. ‘OMW.’
What does it mean? Gosh. I have never felt so old or so socially awkward. I’m only a few years older than Pink, but right now it feels like hundreds.
I quickly open Google and scan the results. OMW means, on my way.
Pink is on his way. He is coming to the van. He has agreed to help me. And now my heart is fluttering like crazy. My silly little plan is working. This is the best day of my life.
A few minutes later, and he is knocking on my door and I’m flinging it open. He flashes me a bright smile and steps inside. His gaze goes straight to the worktable. It is clear for a change, only covered in runes and sigils drawn in chalk.
“Oh, you are trying to invert a Dimittis incantation,” says Pink.
Oh my, he really is clever. I always knew he was, but something about seeing it in action is so very endearing.
“I think an inverted Iacere rune would be more like this.” He walks up to the table, picks up a piece of chalk and begins rubbing out part of my drawings.
He bites his bottom lip as he works, and I cannot tear my gaze away. He really is so utterly wonderful. I’m so glad my cunning excuse to spend more time with him is working. And his help with my studies is going to be so advantageous. This might just be the best idea I have ever had.
I step back to give him more room to work, and I watch in awe as he applies his knowledge. I know all vessels are well educated in magic theory. But I am certain that Pink is more skilled than most. Perhaps affection is making me biased, but I don’t really care. My heart believes that Pink is the best vessel in the world, so as far as I am concerned, that is the truth.
As I watch him competently draw magic symbols, dark thoughts start to wash over me. It is awful to think that his talents were always doomed to be wasted. If Ritchie had not bought him, Pink’s husband would have probably only ever requested very basic magic circles from him. Ones that his husband would have emptied him in. A cold shudder trembles through me. It is the usual fate of vessels. Treated as property. Mere containers of magic. Used without care or affection.
Images flash in my mind’s eye. Pink lying obediently in a circle of his own drawing. Doing everything he was trained from a young age to do. Keeping still while his indifferent husband takes his body to take his magic.
My stomach nearly heaves. Nobody ever calls it rape, but it often is. Vessels are rarely given a choice. They are property to be used. Indoctrinated from a young age to believe that is all they are worth, so they don’t even complain. They only serve and obey.
I wonder how many circles Laurie knows how to draw now? I wish I could talk to him. I wish my father would hurry up and die.
I suck in a breath. What a horrid thought. What an awful path my mind has drifted down. My soul truly is home to some twisted darkness.
“Tea?” I say brightly. I need the distraction and I need to be a good host.
“Yes please,” says Pink without looking up from the worktable. “Did you hear the commotion last night?”
“No?” I say as I put the kettle on. “What happened?”
Pink’s attention flicks briefly to the cooker and his shoulders relax in relief. My use of a beaker to boil water unsettled him, even though he never said a word. I’m so glad I bought a kettle. It always gives me a flash of joy when Pink checks what I am using, and is quietly relieved.
“Ned’s boyfriend was picking him up for a date, so we all got to meet him,” Pink says.
“And it didn’t go well?” I hedge.
Pink sighs, but his chalk continues to glide smoothly over the table. “Blue became scared and had to leave. Jade was rude about Morgan being Ned’s great-grandson-in-law. And then Gray forgot to shield his energy, which made poor Morgan freak out, which got Ned riled, which caused Mal to get all defensive of Gray.”
Goodness. I thought my family dinners were bad.
“That sounds tense,” I say as I carefully pour boiling water over the tea leaves in the teapot.
“It was,” agrees Pink.
“How are things now?” I ask.
“Much calmer,” Pink replies. “I went with Ned this morning when he apologized to Gray and Mal. They seemed to accept it well, with no hard feelings.”
I huff out a little laugh. “I always suspected that the perceived wisdom that demons are unforgiving was exaggerated.”
Pink stops drawing, and he chuckles. “I’m still not planning on risking it.”
“Very wise.”
His eyes flash in a smile as I hand him the tea. It is so tempting to cause our fingers to brush, but I resist. And then immediately regret my self-control.
Pinks sips his tea and makes a soft sound of appreciation. My heart does a somersault. Thankfully, Pink is intently regarding his drawings. If he was looking at me right now, I’m pretty sure my adoration would be clear for him to see.
“I’m worried about Jade. He is acting strangely.” Pink’s voice is sad. Soft and distant. I’m not sure if he is even truly speaking to me, or simply thinking out loud.
Nevertheless, my first instinct is to offer my assistance. But what can I do? I am a mage, not a healer. I know nothing about matters of the mind. Nevermind the fact that the part-fey boy unsettles me. Unfair of me, I know, but I can’t shake it off.
I suspect it is because I know just how much my parents’ cult would love to get their hands on him, and if they ever discovered that I knew of his existence and didn’t hand him over. Well, my head would probably roll.
It was a rival faction that was secretly capturing fey descendants and forcing them to breed. Increasing the strength of fey ancestry in every generation. I suspect Jade is infertile, and that is the only reason he was sold to Ritchie. But that is knowledge I will never share. Neither Pink nor his friends will ever know that I’m tangled up in Revivalist cult nonsense.
The whole thing is a nasty tangled mess. So I shouldn’t be too hard on myself for finding Jade’s presence uncomfortable. The boy is innocent, but his existence comes with a lot of baggage. Stuff I’d really rather forget about.
I shake my head to try to clear it. “Have you talked to Brodie?”
Pink sighs. “Jade says he has been to see him, but I guess raising my concerns with Brodie won’t hurt.”
I nod. It is a good idea. Probably the best that can be done. Let the healer know and leave it in his capable hands. It is lovely that Pink cares so much about his friend, but I’m pretty sure there is not much else he can do.
To be perfectly honest, I’m taken aback at just how well all the former harem boys are doing. They went through hell, so the fact that Jade is struggling is not at all surprising. They really haven’t been free all that long, and trauma like that takes its tolls in different ways.
Pink is incredibly resilient, but I know the scars run deep. I wish I could wrap him in my arms and tell him he is safe and nothing bad is ever going to happen again. But he doesn’t deserve my lies. I don’t have the power to keep that promise.
“I think this is fully inverted now,” says Pink, pulling my attention back to my experiment.
I run my gaze over the runes and sigils. It really is stellar work. It should work. But I don’t want Pink to go yet.
“Would you mind staying while I give it a go? In case anything needs tweaking?”
Pink grins at me. “As long as you promise not to blow us up.”
“I swear,” I say solemnly, and Pink laughs.
Oh goddess. I want to capture the precious sound and keep it in a jar to cherish forever. Soon my father will die and I’ll have to take up my duties. I will have to leave Pink behind and never hear him laugh again.
So every laugh I hear, every smile I see, every touch I feel, is all going to have to last a lifetime.
They will be my only treasures.