Unholy

Chapter 8

Ash

His words ring in my head. Ruined and tarnished for life. Maybe he’s right. Maybe that’s what I am. I messed up. I shouldn’t have gone there. I shouldn’t have touched him.

I made it home before everyone else and changed my clothes before Ben came over. Now we sit on the porch swing, and I wonder if his private parts are like Tristan’s. His was more than a handful.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asks when I zone out thinking about Tristan’s words to me.

“Nothing. I didn’t sleep well last night,” I lie to him just as Tristan walks up onto the porch.

“Hey, Sis. How’s your day?” he asks, his tone as smug as ever.

“She isn’t your sis. Stop calling her that.”

“She basically is. The wedding is coming up, and we are going together,” Tristan reminds us. I forgot about that. His mom had asked for us to walk down the aisle together, and I suppose it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Leave her alone.”

“Holding hands and things,” he taunts, his unspoken innuendo clear as day. My cheeks heat again, and I can feel it.

“You’re not touching her.”

“How do you want me to walk her down the aisle then?” he asks Ben. Ben shoves off the swing and stands in Tristan’s face which probably isn’t the best of ideas because that’s what Tristan wants.

“If I had my way, you wouldn’t be doing anything with her,” he snaps. Tristan’s eyes move to meet mine and then back to Ben’s.

“Come on, bible boy. She’s my sister,” he tells him, angering Ben even more. I can see his hands clench, and I decide to step into the middle of them. I stand pushing Ben back a step, not that I was worried about him. Ben isn’t a small guy, but compared to Tristan, he doesn’t stand a chance.

“Just stop. Both of you. Ben, you’ve known this for a while now,” I remind him. He nods his head.

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it. Maybe I should stay,” he adds.

“No. You’re not doing that. You’ve been planning on attending this camp for a long time now,” I tell him.

“Oh yeah, Ben. We wouldn’t want you to miss camp. All the thrilling things I’m sure you’ll be doing there,” Tristan adds. I almost laugh, but I cover it with a cough instead.

“Let’s just stop. We’re all adults here.”

“You’re right, Sis. I can’t wait to see you in a dress,” Tristan says before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. Ben growls low in his throat, but Tristan doesn’t care. He enjoys his smoke like he never said anything.

“Ben, you need to go. You’re going to be late,” I tell him. Reluctantly he nods and leans in, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I smile back at him when he turns and walks away, climbing into his car. I watch as he pulls out and takes off down the street.

“Do you get some thrill out of making him mad?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“Does he hit you like your dad does?” he asks me. His words hurt. They sting, and I shake my head. “Then no. I don’t get a fucking thrill out of it, but what I do know is one day, I’m going to make your dad feel the same pain you feel,” he informs me before walking down the steps.

“You can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“He’s going to be your dad,” I tell him. Tristan stiffens before turning and walking the short distance back to me.

“No. He’ll never be my dad. I don’t need one, never have, and never will. If he so much as lays a hand on me, I’ll gut him.”

“Tristan, this is the real world. You can’t just kill him.” He cocks his head to look at me, and in his eyes, I can see all the darkness that consumes his soul. He would do it. He would kill him, and he wouldn’t have any remorse for doing it.

“You see me, Ash?”

“I-”

“Do you see me, Ash? The deepest parts of my soul. Can you see it?” he asks me softly. I nod my head, and a sick grin crosses his face. “No. You don’t. You see what I let you see. You see what I give everyone. A tiny sliver of fear and darkness in the pits of hell is where I dwell. That’s what I let you see, Ash.”

“I don’t think you’re evil, Tristan.”

“Oh, but I am. And if you don’t stay away from me, you’re going to find out just how evil I can be,” he tells me, pointing at me with his cigarette still between his fingers. I reach out and take it from him, bringing it to my lips. Tristan cocks his head to the side to stare at me as if I’m crazy. And maybe I am. Maybe I’m turning into a monster.

I inhale and immediately begin to choke on it. Tristan doesn’t laugh or make fun of me; he just watches me intently.

“That’s very unholy of you.”

“When I’m around you, I feel like doing very unholy things.”

“Such as?”

“I ...” I can’t say it out loud and he knows it. He steps closer, getting into my space before reaching up and taking his cigarette back from me.

“All you have to do is ask, Ash.”

“What do you mean?”

“You want something, you ask. That’s it.”

“I can’t just ask.”

“Sure you can. Try it.”

“I’ve never … I’ve never kissed anyone on the lips before.” I’m almost too embarrassed to say it, and now here I am saying it to Tristan of all people. He nods his head and takes another drag from his cigarette before blowing the smoke into the air. He steps in, leaning down into my space, and presses his lips against mine.

“Now kiss me back,” he demands, his tone dark and firm. I open my mouth, parting my lips, and he begins to work his over mine. I catch on quickly, and we kiss for what seems like a long time, but it could very well only be seconds, I don’t know. I’m lost. I feel like I’m floating on a high when I’m around him.

“Did I do it wrong?” I ask him when he suddenly pulls back. He shakes his head, grabs my hand, and pulls it to his private parts. It’s hard in my hand, just like the last time he made me touch him.

“Is this what happens when people kiss?”

“Not everyone.”

“Then why is it happening to you?”

“Because my cock wants inside you, Little Nun. I want to defile you in ways that would make your God cringe.” I instantly jerk my hand away from him and step back, although he never moves. He stares at me with those dark pits he calls eyes, and all I can do is stare back at them.

“Why do you want me?”

“I don’t know, Ash. You’re nothing like what I’m into.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t go for the good girls, Ash. I want a bad girl. I want a girl who will take my cock and use it like it’s meant to be used.”

“Like the girl the other night?” I’m almost embarrassed to bring that up again.

“No. Not like her. She’s a whore I used to get off, and nothing more, but you? You’re becoming something I’m obsessed with, and that’s a bad thing, Little Nun.”

“I want to know more about you.” I blurt the words out, although I don’t know why. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t want to know more about him, but I do.

“No.”

“Why?”

“You’re not ready for that part of me. You’re too pure,” he tells me.

“Then make me dirty.” His eyes burn straight through me as I look at him. I can feel the heat between us, and I think he knows there’s something here, too. I don’t want to admit it because that would be admitting I’m a sinner, and I don’t want to be that, but I also can’t keep living a life I’m not sure I want.

Before I can speak again, Tristan has my face in his hands, devouring my lips with his. He kisses me in ways I’ve never been kissed before, and when his tongue slides into my mouth, I moan for him.

My body tingles, and heat runs wild inside me from the way he’s kissing me. Then he pulls back and shakes his head, tugging at his hair.

“You’re making a big fucking mistake, Ash.”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Yeah, you are. Now stay the hell away from me.” It’s a warning I doubt I’m going to take. I don’t want to stay away from him. I want to get closer and closer to him.