Unholy Tsar: A Dark Mafia Romance (Ruthless Dynasty Book 4)

Chapter 19

My cries dry out as Maksim runs his hand through my hair. Sniffling back the last of them, I furrow my brow at the memories that have tormented me for so long.

Maybe it’s time to share that fear, that pain. I’ve finally found someone who can take some of the weight from me.

“He was my fiancé,” I manage to say, leaning back into Maksim’s embrace.

His deep, dark eyes shimmer. “You were married?”

“No.”

His gaze drifts with understanding. “How long were you together?”

“Almost four years. I met him when I was 17.”

“You were seventeen?” His palm momentarily tightens on my hair before relaxing. “You were just a child.”

“Maybe. But I felt so much older. After all that life had thrown at me…”

“How old was he?”

“32,” I whisper. I know how it sounds. Like he preyed on me. And in retrospect, I realize that’s exactly what he did. But in the moment, I was a young girl, starved for love and attention. And he was a man who showered me with it. It didn’t matter that he was almost twice my age. His attention was addicting.

When Maksim doesn’t say anything, I continue. “He was a doctor from a wealthy family. I-I thought I was so lucky. He always brought me gifts and made such wonderful promises. But that wasn’t what attracted me to him. Not really. He had parents, siblings. I thought if I was with him, I’d have a whole family, too. I was so stupid.”

Maksim shakes his head softly. “You were just a kid. Be kind to yourself.”

I smile a little and snuggle deeper into his chest. “You’re so warm.” My words are muffled against his shirt. I take a deep breath, drawing in his comforting scent. “I never noticed how nice you smell.”

Pinching my chin, he tilts my face up to meet his gaze. “Not as nice as you, Malyshka.”

“Malyshka,” I whisper. “What does that mean? It’s different from what you usually call me.”

“It’s not.”

“It so is. You used to call me Meeshka, but now there are more syllables before the shhka part.”

Maksim chuckles. “Stop stalling. I want to hear the rest of the story.”

I sigh. He sees right through me. Burrowing myself back into his chest, I get back on track.

“Alright, fine. Well, whatever happiness I thought I had didn’t last long. But I can be so stubborn. I thought I could fix it. Looking back, though, there’s no way I should’ve stayed after that first year.”

“What happened after the first year?”

“He… he got erratic… violent. I remember him slapping a waiter because he spilled a drink on me. Then one day, he suddenly quit his job at the hospital. When I asked why, he wouldn’t tell me. Not until he got sick of all my questions. Then he just said he found a better job…”

“Drug smuggling.” Maksim guesses.

I nod into his chest.

“Eventually, I figured out he’d joined an organization that smuggles medicine in from Mexico. He said it was to help his patients who couldn’t afford it. I thought he was a hero… so when he asked me to help, I didn’t even think twice.”

“That’s when you were arrested...”

“He didn’t even visit me in jail,” I whisper, my heart heavy with the memory. “He just sent a lawyer who said it would be too dangerous for him.”

“Asshole.”

“I was so upset. So angry. How could he just abandon me like that? Hell, part of me suspected he had set me up. When I was finally let out on bail a week later, we had a huge fight. I should’ve broken up with him right then and there.”

“Why didn’t you?”

I shrug, feeling a sense of shame wash over me. “I grew up in foster care, you know? Apparently, my parents abandoned me at an orphanage when I was three. That’s too old to get adopted. Couples always want cute babies, not toddlers. So, I was moved to foster care. And in foster care, nobody gives a shit about you. I never knew what love was supposed to feel like. So when he came along and treated me like I was special, I really thought it was because he cared for me. Because he loved me. Even when he started to change, I didn’t want to lose that feeling. I didn’t want to go back to being alone. So, I stayed. Stupid.”

“Stop calling yourself stupid.” Maksim gently taps the back of my head, and I smile despite how much my heart is aching. “You were the victim. He’s the one who should’ve known better.”

I hold onto his words, trying to find comfort in them.

“Things only got worse after that, though. First, he started calling me names whenever I did anything to piss him off. Then, he started getting physical. But he would always apologize right after, and his mom would come over, calling me her daughter and asking me to forgive her son.”

I can feel Maksim’s heart beating faster and harder. “They knew what you wanted to hear and used it to manipulate you.”

“Exactly. That must be why I stayed. He even proposed to me two years later, and I would’ve foolishly gone through with the marriage, too—if he hadn’t stood me up at the altar.”

My heart breaks all over again at the memory. Even knowing what I know now, it still hurts so much.

“What did his family say?”

“Well, they finally showed their true colors. There was so much screaming. All the blame was put on me. They paid for our wedding. And it was a lavish ceremony. And when he didn’t show up, they accused me of running him off. They wanted to know what I did to make their precious son abandon them on such a special day. I… I’ve blocked most of it, but I’ll never forget how his mother said that her son must’ve found out the reason my parents abandoned me. It was too much.”

“So, you ran away?”

“Yes. At the time, I just needed space to clear my head. The town I lived in was filled with memories of him. I needed an escape, so I ran off to another town. After two weeks there, I realized I never wanted to go back to him. We were done. But he must’ve had second thoughts because ever since then, someone has been following me. When I notice, I run to the next town, and then the next, and the next. That’s how I ended up in New York.”

“You think it’s him?”

“Yes. No. Maybe not him directly. He doesn’t like leaving his town”s safety net, but it could be someone he’s hired. He has connections with many unsavory people from his drug smuggling business. I mean, who else could it be?’

“You haven’t seen him since you ran away two years ago?”

“Only in my nightmares.”

Instantly, I regret the little lie. I do have nightmares about him sometimes, but the truth is, I have seen him since I ran away.

The first time was a week after our supposed wedding. He somehow managed to track me down in the town I was hiding in and tried to explain himself. But the moment I saw him, I started screaming my head off. Not necessarily because I was scared or angry, but because I wanted to catch people’s attention and make a quick escape. And that’s exactly what I did. When he was distracted, I ran.

I saw him two more times after that, but I never stuck around to talk. Whatever he had to say, I didn’t want to hear it. Especially not when he seemed to be getting high off his own stash.

I shiver at the memory of just how badly he was starting to degenerate.

“You don’t have to worry about him ever again. I’ll protect you.” Maksim’s hand leaves my hair and gently rubs my back. “It’s late. You should go to sleep.”

I push away from his chest to stare up at him in pure disbelief, “What? No way. I just opened up to you and you expect me to go to sleep? Do you know how scared I am?”

His brows pinch together. “Scared? Of what? I just said I’d protect you. No one’s going to—”

“What if you use what I just told you against me? What if you—”

“I would never do that,” he cuts me off with a frown. “Hell, I’m insulted you would even think such a thing.”

“Well, then tell me something about you to even the scales. And not something mundane, either. Something you’ve never told anyone, because I’ve never told anyone else what I just told you.”

He lets out a heavy sigh and pulls me back to his chest. “Alright. Fine. Fair is fair.”

I run my hand up and down his chest as I wait for him to start.

“I grew up in Russia. We were dirt poor, but I wasn’t afraid to work hard. My siblings, on the other hand, were far more interested in the payoff. Anything that could get them rich without having to work too hard. They got mixed up with a dangerous gang, which created a lot of chaos. I had to leave the country to save my own life. By some miracle, I found a way to smuggle myself into America. But it wasn’t until I arrived that I really got lucky. My hard work caught the eye of Rian Kilpatrick, the man who started this all—Bree’s grandfather. The man her cousin, Rian, is named after. He saved me. Gave me a purpose. I haven’t been back to Russia since.”

“What about your family? I never had any, so I don’t know what it’s like, but don’t you miss them?”

“Sometimes, Malyshka, it’s better not to have any family than to have a terrible one.”

I nod solemnly. That’s so true. “Did you have a bad childhood?” Despite how icky it feels, part of me wants him to have struggled like me. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so alone.

Or maybe I just want to know about him. Even if it’s something simple. Were his siblings older or younger? Sisters or brothers? I want to know everything.

“I don’t like to think about it.”

“Bad parents?”

“My parents were okay when they were still around. They weren’t the problem.”

My curiosity gets the best of me. “Did your parents abandon you too?”

“No.” His arms tighten around me, his shoulders going rigid with tension. “They were murdered.”

My heart sinks. “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” His tone is final, and I nod, dropping the topic for now. “I’m just glad that no one in the Kilpatrick family has to deal with the shit I did. They have caring parents and loving siblings. They can trust and depend on each other. That’s all that matters now.”

“I don’t think they even realize just how lucky they are.” I rub my palm over his chest, and he slowly relaxes again. “Never having to worry about their pasts…”

“You don’t have to worry about the demons of your past anymore, either. I will burn them all away for you.”

I tilt my head up to give him a bittersweet smile. His words bring a sense of comfort, but deep down I know the truth. Nobody can end my problems but me. “That would be nice. But I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Maybe, but how’s this for a start?” He drops his forehead and touch es his lips to mine. I melt into him as he cradles my face and deepens the kiss.

With every ounce of longing in me, I kiss him back.

There’s no denying it. There’s a softness this time. A tenderness.

Maksim twists until my back is on the bed. He hovers above me, our eyes locked in a passionate gaze. My heart leaps toward him.

“I promise to protect you,” he says, his fingers tugging at the hem of my shirt; I raise my hands and he slides it off, revealing my bare skin. “I promise to treat you right.” Slowly, he undresses me, his movements deliberate and full of care. Then, he takes off his own clothes. “I promise to give you everything you deserve.

The sight of him naked steals my breath away. He stands at the foot of the bed like a dark god. Glorious. Terrifying. Snaking lines of black ink crawl around his chiseled torso, up his chest, his stomach, and his arms.

Lost in admiration, I’m jolted back to reality when he kneels on the bed and spreads my legs apart.

“No,” I whisper, my voice barely audible. “Maksim. I want you up here.”

His eyes snag mine, and my heart swirls with emotion as he crawls up my body. “You want me here?” he murmurs huskily as he nuzzles my neck, his warm breath sending goosebumps all over my body.

I part my legs, making a cradle for him as I wrap my arms around his broad back.

That’s when I feel it. The raised, puckered scars. They’re everywhere. I lean in and place a gentle kiss on one on his chest, then on another. At first, he stiffens, but then he slowly relaxes, if only for a moment.

His hands drop to my head, guiding my lips back to his. My pussy flutters, growing even wetter as his mouth devours mine with a greed that ignites my own. As we kiss and kiss, his other hand trails down my body, briefly teasing my nipple before continuing its journey to my cunt.

He cups me firmly, the heel of his palm grinding against my clit, sending me into a state of pure ecstasy. I moan and melt into the bed, my wetness now soaking his hand.

“I want you,” I plead, unable to contain my desire any longer.

Maksim breaks the kiss with a curse and shifts his weight on top of me so he can notch his cock against my entrance.

“You have me.”

He draws his hip back and surges into me.

“God, you are so wet, Malyshka.”

I moan, clawing at his back as I hold him.

“Tell me I’m the only one who makes you feel this way,” he demands, his pace quickening.

“You are. You are,” I babble. “I’m yours.”

He groans and buries his head in the hollow between my breasts, right on top of my racing heart. My fingers sink into his hair, and I hold on for dear life as he thrusts into me, over and over.

My vision blurs and more delirious words slip from my mouth. “Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop. Don”t stop.”

He removes his hand from my clit, and before I can let out a frustrated scream, he brings it back down hard. My body jostles up on the bed, my toes curling into the sheets as he slaps my little bundle of nerves, perfectly timed with his thrusts.

And then it happens. My eyes roll back in my head. I shatter.

With a whimpering scream, I start to cum all over his cock.

“That’s it, baby girl. Fucking clench. Give it to me. Strangle my cock, milk the cum out of me, ugh—” I feel his cock swell even bigger inside of me. Then his entire body shudders and he explodes.

“Fuck!”

With one final groan, he sinks into my body, pressing a soft kiss below my neck before turning his head on my chest. I nestle into his arms, and he squeezes hard, his cock still throbbing inside of me. I love it.

As we slowly catch our breaths, my fingers mindlessly trace the scars on his skin. But to my disappointment, he stiffens under my touch before he pulls away to collapse next to me on the bed.

“That’s a burn mark, isn’t it?” I ask, turning to face him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mutters.

Before I can press him further, his phone starts ringing on the nightstand. He immediately silences it.

“Who was it?”

“Dante,” he says. “We found a den of drug dealers targeting kids earlier. That’s why I had to leave after our lesson this afternoon.”

He explains how they had taken care of a similar organization a few days ago. “But they keep popping up like rats.” His phone starts ringing again, but he ignores it and sends a text instead.

“Sounds like you need to go,” I say, my voice heavy with resignation, knowing he can’t ignore his duties forever.

“I don’t need to be anywhere but here with you.”

My cheeks warm, and I shimmy closer to him, snuggling into his chest with a contented sigh. He wraps me in his arms, and I let myself feel safe.

It might be the first time I’ve really felt safe in years.

The feeling is so comforting that I quickly drift off to sleep.