13. Elzora
13
ELZORA
“ A re you okay, mo sholas ?” Ciar asks, and I nod my head, scooting over the bed to rest my head on his chest.
His warmth soothes me, his hand stroking through my hair and brushing lightly over the bare skin at my waist.
Yesterday was a lovely day starting with bonding with King, and then having a family dinner. Eirik and Necos weren’t happy I bonded with a creature without informing them, but did agree it was the best course of action.
Despite a lot of teasing, and some ruffled feathers, the energy was positive, and I tried my best to put everything out of my mind and just enjoy spending time with my men.
“You went to bed quite early last night,” Ciar says, and I shrug. I was exhausted and still am.
I don’t think I moved from the moment my head hit the pillow until now, when I woke with a sense of urgency.
I don’t understand why—probably another weird dream. My chest feels almost empty, and the skin feels quite hot each time I rub it.
“You’re quiet,” Ciar murmurs a few moments later, and I hear the concern in his voice.
“I’m just thinking.”
“Even your thoughts are pretty subdued.” His thumb sweeps gently over my temple, the other hand rubbing comforting circles on my hip.
“I think my soul is tired,” I whisper more to myself than him. The words feel foreign, almost dangerous, an icy weight settling over me.
I gasp as Ciar’s hands cover my ears instantly, as if by instinct. He calls out, his voice a desperate rumble even through the muffling of his hands.
“Zohar!”
It’s cute that he’s blocking my ears, though I don’t understand the urgency he has. My pulse feels louder in the silence, echoing his worry.
“What’s going on?” Zohar stands in the doorway, his eyes sharp even as he adjusts a towel around his waist.
I don’t understand the need for a towel when he’s completely dry.
Ryes, Jasper, and Mael file in behind him, tension gathering as they all exchange nervous glances.
“Water witch, ZoZo.” Ryes explains Zohar’s dry state. His expression is uncharacteristically serious as he looks between Zohar and me.
“What is going on?” Mael asks, and there’s not a single ounce of annoyance in his tone.
What are they seeing that I’m not?
“Zoe’s soul is tired,” Ciar says, his voice filled with worry. He helps me sit up, his arms supporting my weight as if he’s holding something delicate.
He’s always gentle, but this is more than that. He’s treating me like I’m fragile… like I’m sick .
I don’t feel sick.
Zohar’s brows knit together, and I barely feel his cool water magicae brushing up against me. “Your primordium is nearly empty. If it depletes entirely…”
His voice is sharp, tinged with fear, and though I know he’s not angry at me, the tone makes me flinch.
The implication of his words hangs heavy in the room, his eyes flashing with unspoken fear.
My primordium is the source of my magicae… the source of my very existence. If it depletes completely, I’m going to die.
Oh, no.
“Soft voices and soft hands when talking to our mate,” Jasper demands, stepping closer to the bed and reaching out for me. His gaze searches my face, his olive skin paling as he whispers. “Her eyes are so lifeless.”
Lifeless?
I’m just tired. I’m okay. Right?
“She’s drained herself in her sleep. I don’t understand why,” Zohar says with a heavy frown. He gently touches my cheek, and I shiver. “Can you connect with one of us, dragonfly?”
I reach for the bonds within me, my magicae as exhausted as I am, but it’s too hard. The little symbols inside me that represent my men keep escaping my reach, and I let out a whimper, shaking my head.
I let my eyes flutter closed, resting back on Ciar. Now that they mention it, I feel my magicae getting further away from me—like there’s a tap that has been left on and is slowly leaking, even as I sit here.
“Something is still draining her,” Zohar murmurs, placing his hand on my forehead. He curses under his breath. “She’s burning up.”
“She wasn’t a few minutes ago,” Ciar protests.
I felt hot.
“We’re taking her to the compound,” Zohar decides. “Jasper, come with me. The rest of you track down the rest of our circle and get them there.”
He sweeps me into his arms, the familiar cool of his magicae flowing from him to me in gentle waves. I reach for his essence, but it feels faint and distant, barely a whisper against the hollow ache inside.
By the time I’m placed on a cold, hard surface, exhaustion weighs down every thought. My eyelids feel heavy, and the room’s bright lights blur my vision. A dull throb pulses in my head, sharp and unrelenting.
“Hurts…” I manage to whisper, though my voice feels barely there, swallowed up in the sharp brightness around me.
“I know, dragonfly. I know.” Zohar’s words are gentle, but his voice wavers, unable to hide the fear beneath.
His fingers are cool on my forehead, attempting to soothe, to anchor, yet his hand trembles, and there’s nothing he can truly do.
“Jasper, grab that cuff. Get it on her now,” he commands sharply.
Footsteps hurry closer, and then I hear a voice—one that stands out in the rush of concern. My eyes open, the contents of the room blurry and out of reach.
“What the fuck are you doing here wearing noth— Elzora .” Anomus’s voice starts off angry before sounding completely panicked when he says my name. “Vex, help her.”
I must look worse than I feel.
“I am,” he says, rushing over to my side. I feel his magicae merging with Zohar’s as the two of them try to help me.
My own power feels like a distant memory, unreachable and nearly gone, as if I’m slipping away bit by bit.
I can’t tear my eyes away from the bright blue orbs that are identical to my own, the fear that’s thrumming inside me is echoed in his gaze.
Anomus walks closer to me but doesn’t invade the space where Zohar, Vexus, and Jasper are working.
“What happened?” His voice is gentle, delicate, worried.
I don’t have the energy to answer, so I don’t try. I’m struggling to stay awake, but I have a terrible feeling that if I fall asleep, I won’t be waking up.
I hear voices and feel the panicked energy in the room increase as the rest of my mates turn up one by one. I can’t blame them for their anxiety—I was the exact same way when this was Etrix.
“She’s dying,” Vexus says quietly.
“Don’t you dare say that!” Ryes’s hand finds mine, his tone darkening.
“She’s catatonic.” Jasper’s voice trembles as he kneels beside me, and I feel a warmth on my other hand, grounding me to the earth.
“Can you do me a favour ZoZo and open your eyes?” Ryes pleads.
I didn’t even realise I shut them again.
“Bright.” I manage to choke the word out, my throat feeling raw as I speak, as if glass is rubbing against the insides.
Someone dims the lights, and I do my best to open my eyes again. If this really is the end, I want the last thing I see to be my men.
“We’ve got an idea to try, okay, ZoZo?” Ryes says soothingly.
I barely nod, my head feeling heavy as if any movement would drain me even further.
I look around, searching for Mael, and it seems my fire mate knew I needed him because he moves onto the bed, pulling me into his lap. He adjusts, somehow moving me to a sitting position, where he’s supporting my entire weight, without hurting me in the slightest.
“I’ve got you, Ellie baby,” he says, and I can hear the fear in his voice, and I hate that it’s me who is causing them all this much anxiety. “You need to listen to me, okay?”
I try to nod my head, but I’m so exhausted. As each second passes, I feel emptier and emptier.
“You’re going to take back the magicae you gave to Ryes, Necos, and Etrix yesterday, okay?” Mael’s words are a command, his tone resolute, and I can’t ignore him, no matter how drained I am. “Then, you’re going to bond with Vexus.”
Bond with Vexus? Why?
“I… but—” I don’t know why I tried to argue. Tears fill my eyes, and I give a jerky nod.
Ryes is there first, and I take back the power I shared. It doesn’t feel like much, but I know that’s because I’m exhausting it faster than my body can store it. The same happens with Necos, and by the time it’s Etrix’s turn to give me back my power, I’ve already used all of the magicae from Ryes.
My primordium can’t sustain itself, and it’s killing me.
I’m dying.
“Now, little love, it’s time for you and I to complete our bond,” Vexus says gently. “I want you to lie down, okay? Mael will be there, but he can’t touch you.”
Why? I need him.
“Just in case Vex gets runes like us,” Eirik says firmly. “We’ll be here to monitor you both, but we’ll not intervene unless we have to.”
“Soul witches have never bonded before, so they’re all freaking out. At least I have faith in you,” Ryes adds, trying to tease, as he squeezes my hand softly.
“My lack of faith is more in him than Zoe,” Jasper says dryly. Another firm squeeze, and I wish I could feel the magicae associated with my men.
It always calms me.
“I’m going to lie down,” Vexus says, and a bed is moved right next to me. “And we’re going to hold hands.”
Both Jasper and Ryes drop my hands, no longer holding onto me.
“Hurry this up, Vex,” Necos snarls, and I would flinch at the anger in the time witch’s voice if it wasn’t for my exhaustion.
“You’re going to use everything you have left to complete our bond, okay, little love? And I’m going to do the same.”
I nod, or at least I try to. My eyes shut, and as Mael lays me down, I curl into a ball. I’m so tired, so, so tired.
“You are mine, Elzora Myxere.” Vexus’s voice is a whisper, yet the words reverberate through me, pulling me from the edge. “ Anima animae meae .”
The soul of my soul.
“Mine,” I echo, cringing at the pain in my throat, as I feel him link our fingers together. “ Anima ex anima mea .”
A soul of my soul.
A surge of gold light bursts between us, and I feel myself being thrown up in the air as if I’ve been jerked by a thread that’s attached to my belly button. I scream as Vexus moans, but neither of us let go of the other’s hand.
It’s a physical connection to my soulmate, when everything else has completely faded away.
I’m in agony, burning to my very core, and I can feel so much power travelling in and out of me. Vexus’s groans get louder, and I scream again, the rawness of my throat not stopping me from sharing my agony with everyone around us.
The gold is swirling and shimmering, our pained noises drowning out any other sound that could be heard.
And then, there’s nothing but silence.
M y eyes open, and I’m lying on the floor— ground ?—in the middle of… I have no idea. I gaze around in confusion, trying to rationalise what has happened.
Everything is… white.
I hesitantly sit up, my body not protesting in the slightest, despite how drained and damaged I was only… however long ago.
There’s still no sound, not even the quiet noise a room simply gives off. I don’t understand. I push to my feet and take a hesitant step to the wall in front of me.
I’m not wearing my glasses, and it looks a little off. I squint slightly and realise I was wrong.
The walls are not white—they’re gold.
A pale gold, at that.
Where on Earth am I?
“We’re not on Earth or even Mitagus anymore, little love,” Vexus says. I gasp, whirling around to face him. “We’re in your soul.”
My eyes widen, and I don’t know what’s more surprising. My soul anima nexum no longer has any golden runes covering his skin. He looks normal, otherwise, still beautifully tanned, with his long, dirty blonde hair tied up in a messy bun.
His face is open, softened by awe, and he watches me with a quiet reverence. He’s still strikingly handsome, still alive .
Just without his runes.
I don’t understand. What is going on here?
“Why are we in my soul?” I ask, spotting a green blob in the walls—atmosphere? I don’t know—behind Vex.
I move past him, seeing a red one, and a yellow one, and… oh.
“Those colours represent the bonds I share with my men,” I whisper, and he nods. The thick black outline to the place now makes sense—it’s Ciar’s presence, shielding me from everything that could harm me.
Vexus rubs the back of his neck. “We came to the conclusion that your magicae was draining as much as it was because your soul is not complete.”
I frown. “I don’t understand.”
“You kept trying to latch onto me from the moment I entered the room—your soul wants to complete our bond. It needs it.”
A shiver wracks through me, and I take a step back from Vexus. His eyes darken, his lips pursing together unhappily.
“That makes no sense. I’m not the first witch to ever make it to maturing without my soul mate—you, Eirik, Etrix, and Necos all weren’t bonded to me when it happened for you.”
He nods his head. “That’s true. But none of us have to sustain the sheer power that you have.”
“I’m not protesting the bond,” I reassure him. “Of course, I want to bond with you. It’s upsetting for us both, knowing you’re the only one without that tie to me.”
Vex nods slowly. “I wasn’t aware you knew it upset me.”
I can’t help but smile at him. “Like most of the group, Vex, you’re not that subtle.”
He rolls his eyes, a cheesy grin on his face. “No, maybe not.”
“But, from a scientific point of view, the reasoning for this… episode makes no sense. There’s no logic . Why last night? Why drain me so much? Why?—”
“I don’t know,” he says with a heavy sigh. “It could be the bond with King, it could be the fact that you’ve got a bond to everything except your own power source, it could be anything, really.”
I nod slowly. “My magicae has been a little weird when it comes to…” I trail off, unable to voice it, when Vex and I haven’t really…
“Intimate moments?” he asks, laughing as I blush scarlet. “Your blush is beautiful, little love, stop trying to hide it from me.”
I groan, my mortification easy to see. “Yes.”
He makes a thoughtful humming sound, and I peek at him under my eyelashes.
“I wonder if you’re trying to complete all of the bonds, not just ours, since what triggered your maturing was you and Ryes fully bonding.”
I tilt my head, considering. “Is that possible?”
“Magicae is all about intent, Zoe, and yours has proved time and time again that it is possessive,” he says, and I can feel my blush deepening. “It makes sense. As a soul witch, why wouldn’t you want to be connected fully to your soul connections?
“It would make you infinitely more powerful, and it gives you the ability to connect to the best souls to recharge from.”
“And you’re the best?” I ask, a teasing lint to my words. His eyes darken, and I’m surprised at how easily I made that flirtatious.
“Oh, trust me, baby, I am the best, and soon enough, I’ll prove it to you,” he says smoothly. “But I meant that, as your soul connections, we’re all equally the best for you to recharge from. Us, then family—so, Anomus—then friends, and then any random person you can find.”
I giggle, and he winks at me.
“But why would my primordium be so empty?”
Vexus shrugs. “I think that maybe your magicae is misbehaving in your sleep and is attempting to bond us all.”
I sigh. “I’m sorry.” I can’t believe my magicae would try to bond my mates without their permission.
My soul mate rolls his eyes, giving me a haughty look. “Trust me, little love, bonding with you is something you never need consent for.”
My blush seems to travel down my chest, the heat in the room— my soul?— clearly influencing me far more than it is Vex.
“Is that a good enough explanation for now?” he asks.
“It’s the one that makes the most sense,” I reply, wrapping my arms around my waist. My tummy flutters nervously, and he senses it, reaching out to take my hand in his.
“There’s no need to panic. We’re safe, you are safe,” he echoes.
I gesture around us with my free hand. “Not to be dramatic, but we are kind of trapped inside my soul, and if time is still moving around us…”
“Well, fuck,” he groans, shaking his head. “I’m sure the goon squad are crying about how unfair their life is, whilst we lie there lifelessly.”
I gasp, tears welling in my eyes. “What if they think…”
I’m not even brave enough to say it out loud.
“What if they think we’re dead?” Vexus asks, not even hesitating with his abruptness.
I nod miserably. The flutters in my tummy are replaced by a heavy weight, and I hang my head.
They’ll be terrified, and I’m just… what am I even doing?
“I have the feeling that we’re here to complete our bond,” he says gently. “But I won’t do that whilst you’re panicking, so let’s breathe together, okay?”
“Breathe?” I gasp out the word, not having realised how deep my panic was running.
The walls around us seem to darken, the serene of the gold no longer welcoming. Our environment is becoming darker— harsher, even —and I know it’s all my fault.
“You’re scared, Elzora, but you’re not at fault,” Vexus says soothingly. “We’re going to be okay.”
I nod my head, letting him embrace me fully, and I can hear the steady thumping of his heartbeat. It’s calming in a way that my own isn’t, and I try to match my breathing to his.
It works. Kind of.
How can he breathe out for a count of eleven ? I’m desperate for more air before then.
Vexus laughs, dropping a kiss to the top of my head. “You’ve got tiny lungs.”
“My lungs are perfectly sized, thank you very much.”
“Of course, they are,” he murmurs, nuzzling his face against me. “Everything about you is perfect, Elzora.”
“What do we… what do we do to complete our bond?” I ask, tightening my hold on him.
“Well, no soul witch has ever fully bonded before, to my knowledge. So I have no idea.”
“Hm.” I kiss his chest before letting go of him, and I wander around the room a little. It’s empty still, and the walls are back to the pale gold they originally were, with the little spots from each of my mates moving around.
It’s calming and nice.
“Well, we’re in my soul and not yours,” I mention. “Do you think I’ve got to prove something to you? Earn my worth to… see your soul?”
Vexus rolls his eyes. “No, Zoe. Not even a little bit. I think we’re here to test my worth.”
“Test your worth?”
He’s my anima nexum . There’s no worth he should ever have to prove.
“Exactly. That’s how I felt about you. But the difference is, your magicae—your soul, your primordium , and maybe even you—will want to see where I fit in with the rest of your bonded.”
He rubs the back of his neck, his eyes unable to meet mine. “I didn’t come when you called, remember?”
I frown, hating the right feeling inside of me. “We’re testing you. I’m testing you?”
He shrugs. “I’m only theorising, but, yes, I think so. I failed once—no, don’t argue. I did. Regardless of the why , in that moment, you were desperate.
“You were scared, you were in true need, and not only did I resist the call, but I completely blocked your efforts to find me.”
I shiver at the anger in his voice, wanting to soothe him, to reassure him that it’s okay.
“So I think that… I need to prove I deserve the same bond that they already have.”
“Okay… and how?”
“You’re extremely intuitive. What do you think?” he asks, and as much as I know he’s not trying to test me, that’s how it feels.
The panic inside me is growing at the thought of getting this wrong. What if I choose incorrectly, and then…
“Stop,” he says softly. “I’m not trying to set you up for failure. Do you know that there’s multiple types of witches?”
I frown. “Well, yes.”
“I don’t mean in terms of our powers, but the way that we cast. There’s those like me, who are studious, and we approach it from a more… logical sort of way. We think about what we do, before we do it.
“You’ve got the experimentalists, the opportunistics, the adaptives, the ritualistics, and even the introspectives.” He waves his hand. “We’ll get into those all another time, but you, Zoe, are intuitive . You’re emotionally charged, you’re able to think on your feet and just trust in yourself.”
To me, this entire experience is weird and, honestly, off-putting. But to Vexus, well… it’s something that excites his scientific mind.
“That doesn’t feel like me,” I whisper, tightening the grip on my waist.
He smiles, and it’s such a soft look, one full of love, that I shiver. “Does it truly not? You’re quick on your feet, you’re creative, you adapt easily, you follow your instincts, and you let your emotion guide you. You, my love, connect to the pure form of our magicae without hesitating.”
“That sounds… risky.”
He grins. “But what is life without a little risk?”
“So, we’re here in this mystical place, and we’re meant to do what?” I ask. “Because this didn’t happen when I bonded to the others.”
“This is your soul. What do you think?”
A blush coats my cheeks, and I look around the almost holy room.
His eyes widen, and I don’t know if he’s gathered my intention from my thoughts or if my blush just gave it away…
“You think we need to consummate it?”
“Um… maybe? Sex… is the ultimate connection,” I whisper the words, scared someone will overhear me. I look around the… my soul? This is weird.
I know we’re alone, but honestly, I thought thinking about impure things might tarnish the brilliant golden walls.
It didn’t.
I take in my soul anima nexum , my eyes raking over his body, my arousal simmering, as I think about what ways we could do this.
Vex’s blush deepens, travelling down his chest.
“Zoe, your mind is the ultimate temptation.”
I grimace. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he commands, striding towards me. He tilts my chin up so I meet his eyes. “Trust me, little love, it’s the best place to be. I’d love nothing more than to complete our bond this way.”
“It feels… right.”
He beams at me. “How could it not when fate created my soul to find its home with yours?”