Unlikely You (Sapph in the City #5)

Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

Honey

I’d had no idea about her parents. It made sense and explained why Bibliofile hadn’t wanted to talk about personal things. Someday I wanted to delve deeper and make her understand that she had done nothing wrong to make her parents neglect her like that, but that would be for another time.

“You have a seriously great butt,” Bren said.

“You have a seriously great everything ,” I told her. She looked gorgeous tonight, but she always looked incredible.

“Thank you, Honey Bea.”

“I need to come up with a nickname for you too,” I said as I stroked my fingers through her hair. I’d have to ask her what kind of conditioner she used to make it so soft and shiny.

She closed her eyes, as if basking in my touch. “Bren is already a nickname.”

“I know. But I need one that’s just for me. Like Honey Bea is just for you.”

“You could…” she started to say, then blushed and pressed her lips together.

“No, what were you going say?”

“I was going to say you could call me babe. Or baby. Since they start with B.” Oh. That was unexpected. Not that long ago she was determined never to speak to me again. Now she wanted me to call her baby.

“How about we try both? Babe.”

She tilted her head to the side as if she was considering. “Use it in a sentence.”

“Uhhh, hey babe, can I eat your chips?”

Bren smiled and handed me the bag. “You really were hungry.”

“Sure was, baby.”

She laughed. “I don’t know. I think I need to get used to them. I’ve never had someone use a term of endearment like that for me before.”

I had a million of them. Everyone in my family seemed to come up with several for me, some more ridiculous than the others.

“I’ll try out all kinds of them if you want. You can have whatever you want, Bren.” I meant that in more ways than one.

Our eyes met and the temperature in the room rose a few degrees. Bren shifted and closed her eyes.

“Before we… If we… I need to talk to you about something. I’d love to put it off, but I don’t think we can. You need to know a few things about me before we go further.”

Okay, we were doing this. She’d alluded to needing to tell me something last night too.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me. You can trust me with it.”

She reached out and took my hand, squeezing my fingers so tightly that my bones ached.

“Thank you. I know. You’re the only person I’ve ever really trusted.”

Bren collected herself for a few moments.

“Firstly, I need to tell you that I’ve had sex before, but I’ve never…I’ve never, um, had an orgasm.” The last part came out in a rush, the words all hooked together so I could barely make them out.

I waited to see if there was more.

Her face was redder than I’d ever seen it and her fingers trembled in mine. She had been absolutely terrified to tell me this.

“Bren, baby. That’s okay. That’s fine. It doesn’t matter to me. That’s not always the goal. And maybe we can talk about it together and work on it. I mean, that sounds like it could be fun.”

She searched my eyes, as if she was looking for lies. I was telling her the complete truth.

“What if I’m broken?” she asked.

“You’re not broken. And even if you never have one, that won’t matter. Sex can be about so much more than getting off. I don’t think it’s the most important part at all.”

Bren exhaled slowly and nodded. “Okay. Okay.”

We sat together and I let her process.

“Was there anything else?” I asked gently, stroking her arm with the fingers that weren’t holding her hand.

“Yeah. In addition to, um, the no orgasms, I also don’t seem to want the kind of sex that other people want.” What did that mean? I was going to need some clarification.

“I think I need some specifics, Bren.”

She was quiet for so long I almost shook my hand in front of her face to make sure she was still with me.

“The way I want you, Honey, it’s not nice . When I think about being with you, having sex with you? I want to wreck you. Ruin you. Bite marks all over your skin. Hold you down. Force you to come so many times that it makes you cry. Fuck. I’m sorry.”

In a rush, she stood up from the couch and started pacing. Arson woke up and meowed, jumping to the floor and following Bren.

“I can’t believe I just told you that. You’re probably think I’m disgusting now and you have every right to leave, but I had to tell you.”

She wasn’t looking at me as she paced, so I got up and threw my arms around her. Bren stiffened for a moment and then relaxed into my arms.

“You don’t scare me. You think you’re the only one who wants that? I’ve been thinking about biting you since the first day I saw you. God, I can picture your skin with red marks and hickeys all over it. I’d turn you into a leopard. It would be so fucking hot.” Bren let out a little breathless laugh and her body sagged further into me as her arms circled my waist.

“I want you so much, Honey. It scares me.”

“Good, then we’re on the same page. And if there’s anything you do that I don’t want, I have no problem throwing out my safe word.”

“What is your safe word? I’ve never used one before.”

While Bren might have been having sex before, reading between the lines it sounded like she wasn’t used to discussing the kind of sex she wanted to be having with her partners. That was fine with me. I’d talk about it with her. Talking about sex was sometimes almost as good as having it.

“I’m a big fan of a one-syllable safe word that you don’t have to think about in the moment. You know, there’s that joke about ‘pineapple’ but when you’re in the heat of the moment, is your brain even going to be able to remember that? Potentially not. Better to be safe and choose an easy word. So mine is ‘sting.’”

Bren leaned back and smiled at me. “That’s a perfect word for you.”

“I think so.” I brushed her hair out of her eyes. “You’re safe with me. You can tell me any of your wants or desires and I promise not to judge. We all have those kinks or fantasies that are just a little bit out of the norm. I think society would be a much better place if we stopped having a hierarchy of acceptable and not acceptable sex between consenting adult humans.”

“Wow,” Bren said, her eyes widening.

“What?”

“You’re amazing. You’re so amazing.” She hugged me again.

“Well thanks, baby. That’s nice to hear.”

The two of us held each other and even though there was no music, I started humming and we swayed back and forth.

“Do you want me to sing for you?” I asked.

“Yes. But I think…I think I need to kiss you now.”

I almost laughed at the way she said it, but I couldn’t. Instead Bren slid her hands up to dive into my hair and cup the back of my neck.

“I was so terrified to tell you.” Her dark eyes were fathomless. I could drown in them.

“I know. But it’s okay. It’s all okay.” We swayed a few more times before she kissed me, and it was like our bodies had been waiting for this moment.

Her lips ignited a fire in my chest and I could taste that the feeling was mutual. This time she didn’t kiss me softly or tentatively. No. She kissed me how she wanted to kiss me. And I kissed her back the same way.

Kissing and trying to undress at the same time wasn’t an easy feat, and we didn’t get very far. My sweater landed on the floor and I managed to shove my hands under her shirt, but I would have had to remove my mouth from hers to get her shirt off and I wasn’t willing to do that.

We’d also stumbled in the direction of her bedroom and I would have loved to look around, but there would be time for that later. After I’d had my way with her and vice versa.

The orgasm thing went through my mind and I wanted to ask her more questions. I wondered if she’d ever asked a doctor or done any research or if she’d just gotten so frustrated that she gave up.

If she didn’t want to try, I was absolutely fine with that, but if she did, I was happy to help. Maybe she’d just never felt safe enough.

“Take off your shirt,” she said between kisses.

“I can’t,” I said.

“Why not?” she asked, her mouth mashed into mine. Okay, we were getting nowhere.

Hating myself, I broke the kiss and ripped my shirt over my head as fast as I could without getting my arms tangled in the tank straps.

“Oh, fuck,” Bren said as her eyes latched on my blue lacy bra that barely covered my nipples.

“Your turn.”

It took her a few moments to process my words before she pulled the T-shirt with the ruffled sleeves off her head and threw it onto the floor.

Her bra was silk and black and made my knees weak.

“God, you’re beautiful,” I said, getting a look at her. She moved her hair over her shoulder and tugged at the button on my jeans.

“More.”

I grinned.

“Yes. More.”