39. Rosie
Istare across the table into my best friend’s red-rimmed gray eyes, our hands clasped together beside our coffee mugs. She sniffles, grabbing a napkin to dab at her nose. Her long black braid is resting on her shoulder. Our favorite café is decorated for Christmas with vintage ornaments and green garlands. My latte is gingerbread flavored, but Dolly opted for the Christmas-in-a-cup flavor.
“I’m so relieved, relieved for your mom’s sake and yours. I know things with her aren’t perfect, but, hell, it really sucks not having a mom at all. Maybe this whole thing was a wake-up call for her.” She lets go of my other hand to take a sip of her steaming cup.
“She’s going to be okay. I honestly do feel like it was somewhat of a wake-up call. She’s finally agreed to go to rehab, and she’s already looking into some up where Aunt June lives so she can visit. I just wish we could figure out who did this to us.”
The gnawing words from my mother and Holden about my father claw at the back of my mind. I still can’t accept it. I can’t face it.
Dolly nods, exhaling. “Sometimes, bad people just do evil shit, and we can’t understand why. Sometimes, it’s always going to stay a mystery. I think about what Cain did all the time … how fooled I was by his attention. I’ve come to the conclusion that, sometimes, we just can’t know what people’s motives are.”
I nod, bringing the rim of my mug to my lips. “Slight subject change, but I’ve decided that although being jobless and homeless would be even more character-building for me, it would be much more fun if I could live with my best friend.”
A grin spreads wide across her face as she squeezes my hand. “Oh my gosh, I thought you’d never ask! You can have Duke’s room. I’ve been wanting to kick him out to the bunkhouse for ages, and now that Sterling has signed with the Marines, it’s the perfect?—”
My eyes widen, and I cut her off. “Whoa! I’m sorry, miscommunication. I don’t want to live and work on the ranch. I was thinking about a cute little two-bedroom in town somewhere. I might apply to work here actually.” I look around the quaint, quiet café.
“Oh. Okay …” She trails off, an awkward silence stretching between us.
We let go of each other’s hand, sip on our sweet, caffeinated drinks, and people-watch for a few minutes. We try to speak at the same time.
“Well, if—” she says.
“I guess if—” I start.
She smiles. “You first.”
I exhale. “I just think, in light of the details I shared with you last night, that me living on the ranch would be a recipe for … disaster.”
She tilts her head, a mischievous grin on her lips. “Are you saying that you won’t be able to keep your hands to yourself when one of my brothers is around?”
I vigorously shake my head. “I’m saying that he and I will combust if we’re forced to spend time in the same room, let alone live under the same roof. He clearly still has a very low view of my family.”
And considering I haven’t heard from him since he was arrested because of me … he hadn’t formed the same emotional attachment that I’m suffering from.
The shame of what I did, turning him in like that, has been eating me alive. I’ve stared at his name in my phone, at the last texts we exchanged. I’ve nearly pressed the number to call him a thousand times. I can’t will myself to do it, to reach out to him. If I hear his voice, I’m afraid I’ll crumple in on myself, on the reality of how much I love him and how my father truly is a fucked-up, rapist-protecting, family-kidnapping psychopath.
Holden was trying to protect me from it, trying to show me that he loved me and would take care of me despite who my father was.
I shift in my seat, shoving down the steamy memories from our brief time together on the run that began seeping through my brain. Dolly traces a pattern on the tabletop, eyes staying locked on mine.
“Well, that’s unfortunate because I am having a really hard time finding help to maintain the house. I’ve interviewed so many candidates, and … I’m thinking I might just have to do it all on my own and hope my weak little heart doesn’t give out.” She lets out an exasperated sigh, pursing her lips and looking away.
I roll my eyes at her dramatic statement. “Oh, stop it. You’re being ridiculous. I’m sure there’s someone in town who is up to the task.”
She chews her inner lip, debating my words. “Well … now that you mention it, I bet if I asked Madi, she’d be happy to work and live there. I could give her my room so she’d be right next to Holden …” She tilts her head, blinking at me innocently.
My stomach turns over. My breath grows ragged as I clench my fist in my lap, bending the spoon between my thumb and forefinger. I try to inhale slow, deep breaths as visions of Madi throwing herself all over Holden every second of the day and night tortures my imagination.
Would he offer her payment to sleep in his bed?
She’d probably do it for free … among other things.
I suddenly feel like I might vomit.
“I don’t think he’d even let me come back. I’m the one who turned him in, and the case is still ongoing …”
“He’ll do exactly as I say! He likes to think he’s head honcho over the entire ranch, but I’m in charge of the house. If it makes you feel better, Duke can stay in the main house, and Holden can move to the bunkhouse.”
I sigh, immediate relief flooding me. “Okay, that I might consider. If they’re all okay with it and you’re … sure.”
Her eyes light up as she claps her hands excitedly. “Oh, yes! They’ll be fine with it. They’re all sick of frozen pizza since you’re not there to make their favorites. Rosie, it’s going to be amazing. It’s about time we lived together. Life is going to be right back to normal in no time.”
I chuckle, squeezing her outstretched hand again. “You’re manipulative—you know that?”
Her face contorts into a frown. “I only use my powers for good, not evil.”
A wicked smile stretches across her features, and I burst out laughing.
My mother’scold fingers intertwine with mine as we walk through the rose garden. My father had it planted for her on their ten-year anniversary. She calls it his guilt garden because she found out the day after that he’d been sleeping with my nanny.
“I know I should try to remember things, but I just want to forget. I told them to stop asking me questions because I just can’t relive it anymore. Your screaming was the worst part of it all.”
That part of her story is a mystery to me. I cried out when my ribs were bruised, but I know I was held at the cabin the whole time. My mother was found in an abandoned trailer house ten miles outside of town, in the other direction. It was over forty minutes from the cabin.
“It must’ve been another poor girl who was taken,” I say softly.
She shudders, shaking her head. Her auburn hair is dull and thinner than I’ve ever seen it. The color seems to have finally returned to her cheeks, and I haven’t seen her with a drink in her hand since we’ve both been living under my father’s roof again.
“Who do you think it was, Mother? Do you have any guesses?” I haven’t asked her this yet because she’s so against talking about it.
She looks around the garden and up to the back porch, where my father is sitting with his assistant, Ethan. They’re out of earshot, but she still leans in to whisper in my ear, “I know this sounds crazy, but I think it was him.”
Blood rushes through me, growing loud in my ears. My heart rate rises as Holden’s silent suggestion flashes through my memory. He believed my father was capable of kidnapping and holding both me and my mother. That was his reasoning for not bringing me back home immediately. He didn’t think it was safe.
Now, my mother is suggesting it too …
“Why? What makes you think that?”
She pulls me to a stop, her bony fingers squeezing mine tightly as her eyes search mine. “One night, while I was being held, I thought … I thought I heard his voice. That old trailer was drafty, so cold at night.” She shivers at the memory. “It was in the middle of the night, and I awoke to a filthy rat scuttering over my foot. I freaked out, started sobbing. I thought I was going to die. Then, I heard voices … men outside. They came and went occasionally, but I only saw one man’s face—that one they caught trying to cross the border into Mexico.”
I nod. The sheriff told us that one of the accomplices to the kidnapping was caught crossing the Texas-Mexico border with twenty thousand dollars in cash. My mother was able to identify his photo. His was the only face she’d seen.
“I swear, I heard your father’s voice that night,” she whispers. “For a while, I thought I was hallucinating. But now … now, I really do believe he was there.”
“What did he say?” I whisper.
She pinches the bridge of her nose and closes her eyes, like she’s trying to remember. “It was something about … cattle sales? Some supplement or something. You know he’s been trying to get into that underground bull riding ring to control the revenue and find a way to profit on the winnings. Nothing is ever enough for him. He never has enough power and control. And when Holden Redford was released early, I swear he lost his mind. That’s when he started having another affair. I’d thought we’d finally moved past it, but when he gets that gleam in his eyes, I know I’ve lost him again. He gives in to this … this bloodlust. There’s never enough power, never enough money, but more importantly, no one and nothing else matters when he feels wronged. He’ll stop at nothing to destroy the entire Redford family, only because they took his precious brother—a rapist.”
My father starts walking in our direction. My mother zips her lips shut, grasping my hand tighter.
“You need to get away from here, from him. We’re not safe,” she whispers just before he’s upon us.
I form a weak smile. “Mama, I think that’s enough fresh air. You don’t want to overdo it. Aunt June should be back with dinner any minute now.”
My father nods, reaching for her hand. She takes it with a soft, practiced smile on her lips. I marvel at how quickly she’s able to cover the suspicions she just shared with me on her face. He leads her inside the house. I walk up to the porch, my stomach clenched. Ethan is tapping away on his phone without acknowledging me.
I walk in the house just in time for my aunt to arrive with takeout. She smiles at me as she lays out the bags of food.
“Where’s your mother?”
“Dad just took her upstairs to lie down.”
She nods, serving a plate of food up. “I’ll just take this up to her.”
My hand snatches her forearm, pulling her closer to me. “Do you think you and Mom could leave for Florida sooner?”
Her eyes narrow on me. “Sooner than three days from now?”
I nod, opening my mouth to speak and closing it again when I hear the back door open. Ethan’s footsteps sound in the hall. I step away from her, releasing her arm.
“I’ll be right back down to eat dinner with you, honey. I think we should catch up on the Real Housewives tonight, hmm?”
I nod. “Sure.”
My father joins me in the kitchen at the large island a few moments later, where I’m buttering myself a roll.
“Ethan and I have some business to attend to. We’ll be back later. Girls’ night?”
I smile. “Yep. Real Housewives isn’t going to watch itself.”
He chuckles, leaning in to press a cold kiss on my forehead. My skin feels tight.
“I’m so glad you’re home, sweetheart. You’re safe now.”
I kiss him on the cheek, patting his shoulder before taking a bite of the roll. As soon as he and Ethan leave, I run up the stairs two at a time. June and my mom stop talking as soon as I enter the room.
“They’re gone,” I say.
My mother reaches a trembling hand up to her temple. “You need to come with us, Rosie. You’re not safe here either.”
“She’s right. Who knows what he’ll do after your mother and I leave? You can’t be here. He’s clearly a sick, twisted man. We’re going straight to the sheriff to share everything your mother remembers.”
I shake my head. “You need to go farther away. He has too many connections here. You also need to talk to the Redfords’ lawyer, Warner. He’ll know what the next move should be.”
“I’m not worried about any of that until we’re safe!” My mother raises her voice.
Aunt June shushes her as she throws clothes in a suitcase. “This is a discussion to be had later. We don’t have time now.”
I steady my breathing before reaching for my mom’s hand. “I want to go to the Redford Ranch. Dolly offered me my old job back and for me to live there. I love it and …”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that I’m also in love with Holden, but in light of the situation, I hold it back.
She cups my face. “You’re probably safer there than you are anywhere else—at least until your father is behind bars.”
My aunt comes up behind me and wraps us both in a hug. “We’re getting out of this mess, ladies, and we’re not looking back.”